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Amazon Reviews
 

offline Jarworski from The Grove (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-07 14:26 [#00688381]
Points: 10836 Status: Lurker



What's the funniest reviews you can find? I was just
browsing and found this person's reviews... you have
to check this out... linky!


 

offline aphextriplet from your mothers bedroom (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-07 14:30 [#00688388]
Points: 4731 Status: Lurker



dunno bout that, but on ebay, i've seen someones soul for
sale, and an air guitar with a free plectrum. har


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-07 14:32 [#00688392]
Points: 21456 Status: Regular



Man vs Machine, December 26, 1999
Reviewer: ringtail@hotmail.com (see more about me) from
Knoxville

I have been listening the self-titled Autechre CD, and I
think I've figured out what its about. "Autechre" (LP5) is
the story of a scientist who was near-fatally wounded in an
accident at a secret government lab. Because his intellect
was so important to the project, they rebuilt him as a
robocop-style cyborg, enhancing his brain with alien
computer technology. At first, he thinks this is pretty
cool, as he is now capable of doing millions of calculations
per second in his head, perfoming amazing feats of logic and
deduction. He revels in this newfound power, as is evident
in the funky sound of the first couple tracks (1:
"acroyear2" and others). However, he soon finds that he is
losing his humanity. The computerized parts of his brain are
overriding any irrational or emotional decision. The Machine
is slowly taking over, and the harder he fights it the
harder it fights back. This results in a near-complete split
of his mind into Man and Machine. In a moment of clearity
(8: "corc") he realizes that he must defeat the Machine or
be lost forever. He turns himself inward (9: "caliper
remote"), and attempts to subvert the Machine, hacking his
own brain to regaining control of his mind. The Machine
fights back with its driving, relentless logic (10: "arch
carrier"), leading to the final, epic battle. War is waged
within his psyche (11: "drane2") as Man fights Machine to
the bitter end. The mechanical bouncing machine noises
combat the desperate yet vivacious background rhythms (is
that a banjo playing Detroit house?) as a lonely trumpet
sounds. His fragile brain is devastated by the battle, but
in the end he emerges triumphant - a Pyrrhic victory. But
does he truly win? The final, reversed note makes us wonder.
Are the electroblips of the "secret" track 10 minutes later
the sound of his mechanical mind being reactivated, sans
humanity, by government scientists?


 

offline aphextriplet from your mothers bedroom (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-07 14:32 [#00688393]
Points: 4731 Status: Lurker



those reviews arent funny, they're dumb. Probably done by a
12 year old, or an american


 

offline tango from Doncaster (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-07 14:32 [#00688397]
Points: 1620 Status: Lurker



my god you couldnt make that shit up could you? . the end
result of too much phone texting and inbreeding "IF U HAVE
NT SEEN IT AND THINK THAT IT LOOK GOOD THEN U SHOULD GO AND
GET IT CUS IT IS." my gawd....


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-07 14:45 [#00688415]
Points: 21456 Status: Regular



Amazon reviews are great. I love their book reviews.


 

offline nacmat on 2003-05-07 14:49 [#00688422]
Points: 31271 Status: Lurker



this thread made my day

I just hope nobody finds the 2 or 3 reviews I made at amazon


 

offline Phresch from fucking Trondheim (Norway) on 2003-05-07 15:00 [#00688430]
Points: 9989 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



this thread is off the chain.


 

offline tango from Doncaster (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-07 15:30 [#00688451]
Points: 1620 Status: Lurker | Followup to Phresch: #00688430



damn phresh i was gonna say that! :)


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2003-05-07 15:49 [#00688466]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker | Followup to nacmat: #00688422



haha, I've read one or two by you!! :)

I've actually written 64 reviews... and I'm actually
ranked!! I'm the 10694th best reviewer babee!!!! :)


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2003-05-07 15:59 [#00688482]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



hehe, I was just looking at some of my reviews, and I've
definitely dished out the hyperbole when I've reviewed
there... I think my average rating is like 5 stars...
hehe...


 

offline GIR from Easton on 2003-05-07 16:02 [#00688487]
Points: 828 Status: Addict



i made the reviews...hence me being american.


 

offline cuntychuck from Copenhagen (Denmark) on 2003-05-07 17:15 [#00688562]
Points: 8603 Status: Lurker



well, thats just great javo


 

offline Key_Secret from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-05-07 18:19 [#00688619]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to Jarworski: #00688381



hehe... she likes her movies/music...

except for maybe 10 items...
I don't understand why she only gave "The Others" 3 stars...
but on to the point...

One of her funniest reviews, is the one for
"Anaconda", you can read it below...

Anaconda (1997) DVD ~ Jennifer Lopez
List Price: $14.95
Buy new: $13.46
You Save: $1.49 (10%)


Usually ships in 24 hours

5 of 5 stars GOTTA C THIS MOVIE, February 28, 2003
I LOVE THIS MOVIE U JUST HAVE TO SEE IT. THE WHOLE SNAKE IN
THE WATER THING HAD ME GOING. I WAS LIKE DANG THE SNAKE
DOING ALL THAT TO EVERYBODY. IF IT WAS ME I COULDNT OF
PLAYED IN THAT MOVI BEACUSE IM KIND OF SCARD OF SNAKES AND I
WOULDNT OF BEEN SCARD EVEN THOUGH IT WAS FAKE. THIS MOVIE U
GOTTA GO AND SEE IF U HAVENT.

funny, wasn't it =)


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-05-07 19:44 [#00688738]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to Jarworski: #00688381



oh damn, thats funny.
The funniest part is, if you go to the "about erica" section
she says she's in the 11th grade. WAY TO GO AMERICAN SCHOOL
SYSTEM!


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-05-07 19:55 [#00688749]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular



Here is another gem.
this girl erica is a frikkin poet.

**
I Don't Wanna/Come Back ... [IMPORT] ~ Aaliyah

Out of stock



THIS IS A SAD SONG. February 23, 2003
I DONT WONNA BY THE BELOVED AALLIYAH IS REALLY SAD. I HAD
DID THIS SONG IN SIGN LANGUAGE AND AT THE END I HAD CRIED
BEACUESE SHE REALLY GONE AND I GUESS I REALLY DIDNT THINK
BOUT IT BEACUSE IT DIDNT SEEM TRUE. NOW THATS SHE GONE ITS
LIKE DAMN A NOTHER ONE WE'VE DONE LOST. IF U HAVENT HEARD
THIS SONG THEN U SHOULD GO OUT AND GET IT.


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2003-05-07 19:57 [#00688750]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



I bet she gets straight A's in english class!!


 


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