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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2003-03-09 16:42 [#00587633]
Points: 3381 Status: Regular
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...alot of talk about life goes on at this board...
everyday i used to wake up, wishing that i in fact didn't. then i'd go about my day wishing everyone would die and feeling that i never fit in anywhere. i had alot of hate for myself and believed that i was a bad person. the only world i wanted to live in was none, or my very own. i was too comfortable with allowing myself to feel hurt all the time. i was someone who cared for nothing because when you care, you can lose those things which you value and you set yourself up for pain. for a long time inside me, i felt that something would snap due to all the stress from my intrinsic being contrasting with all my external worldly intake. then, i figured i'd blow my brains out and that would be it. but beyond all this, i decided to trap myself inside my mind and forced myself to come to some drastic realizations and forced myself to come to terms with my own being and i actually found a shred of happiness. though i'm still by no means a socializer or fan of humanity, though i still cant cope all the time with what happens inside me and between others and am no means a generally optimistic person, i have come to grips with reality and made peace with myself and embrace negativity when it comes, rather than allow it to control my life even when it's absent. basically, what i want to say is that:
each day we're given the opportunity to make ourselves into the person that we want to be or rise above who we've become. we are not held to our past, each day is a moment of potential rebirth. we are by no means held to the image of others. we are a product of ourselves and if we hold too much of the bad in, we can become a messy product of it all. pain is part of life, but it does not define it; and while we all experience pain, welcome it for what it is because you have to think ahead and rejoice in the fact that we will come to a point in life where pain will no longer exist. we can look back and be glad that we will never feel something as terrible as we have.
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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2003-03-09 16:43 [#00587635]
Points: 3381 Status: Regular
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it's all just an issue of no longer being ignorant to what goes on in ourselves so we can make the changes we want to see in our lives and then eventually the world.
...life flows because there is happiness and happiness is something we accept and create for ourselves...
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AE_King
from Australia on 2003-03-09 16:50 [#00587639]
Points: 749 Status: Regular
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Interesting...It sucks how people who have a phobia about society/dislike society 'don't' actually go out at night and so on because you sort of people are often the best to talk to funnily enough :( I think the bad experiences really enrich your soul and make you a better person when you come out the other side :)
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Chihiro
from twins land on 2003-03-09 16:52 [#00587641]
Points: 4650 Status: Regular
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It was a nice thing to share that.Take it easy...
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2003-03-09 16:52 [#00587643]
Points: 11010 Status: Lurker
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To sum it up : Life sucks
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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2003-03-09 16:55 [#00587644]
Points: 3381 Status: Regular
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yeah, life sucks. i just dont let it get to me anymore. people are idiots, but it's shit you have to deal with.
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Chihiro
from twins land on 2003-03-09 16:56 [#00587645]
Points: 4650 Status: Regular
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We all go through different fases in our lifes. It is important to be able to deal with those fases...
By being not as Social as others means that you feel comfortable with yourself, witch is a very good thing
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AphexAcid
from Sweden on 2003-03-09 16:56 [#00587646]
Points: 2568 Status: Lurker
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Life is what you make of it. I suggest you read some Taoism, and enjoy life.
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2003-03-09 16:57 [#00587647]
Points: 11010 Status: Lurker | Followup to hevquip: #00587644
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Next Time someone talks bad to you, just punch him in the stomach, like......."POW"
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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2003-03-09 16:59 [#00587648]
Points: 3381 Status: Regular
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monoid, you've got it right. i wish i could smack around people, but it's not as legal as i wish it was.
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AE_King
from Australia on 2003-03-09 17:00 [#00587649]
Points: 749 Status: Regular
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Life doesn't suck at all...even if you're not a people person you've always got music, video games, grub, movies, internet, cats, 'imagination', etc, etc
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AphexAcid
from Sweden on 2003-03-09 17:02 [#00587653]
Points: 2568 Status: Lurker
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The problem with people nowadays is that they can't appreciate what they have. Man has lost its ability to feel satisfaction. It's sad. There's always someone in a worser scenario.
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2003-03-09 17:03 [#00587654]
Points: 11010 Status: Lurker | Followup to hevquip: #00587648
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Just develope a hardass BADASS personality, and be a real asshole. Girls like that !
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2003-03-09 17:05 [#00587659]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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i was having some bad time myself (i was pretty depressed) from last september till december
funny thing is-nothing major changed and i been pretty good since mid of december
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OK
on 2003-03-09 18:19 [#00587781]
Points: 4791 Status: Lurker
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i totally identify with you hevquip.
and monoid you do have a point, when people you trust deceive you, is inavoidable to think that it's necessary to be a complete asshole in order to be happy.
i want to be this asshole... but i can't.
so then i became an extreme moralist
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uzim
on 2003-03-10 03:50 [#00588141]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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"we will come to a point in life where pain will no longer exist"
> in life? no.
"blood and sweat and tears will never stop". (boredom either)
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uzim
on 2003-03-10 04:01 [#00588147]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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"To sum it up : Life sucks"
> maybe... but that's all you've got, and you can't compare it to anything else, since life is all you know.
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Charles D Ward
from ASS, okay? (United States) on 2003-03-10 04:37 [#00588178]
Points: 1072 Status: Addict
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Wake up at 4.00 am, stand on the rooftop of the highest skyscraper you can find for some time, listening to the music you like. Given that you have a good health to wake up that early, you will reconsider your opinion on life.
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uzim
on 2003-03-10 05:32 [#00588253]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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Charles D Ward > this would be one of the beautiful moments you can have in life... they are quite rare, but they happen and are wonderful.
i have lived some of these moments. though it didn't make me reconsider my opinion about life - i just thought, this moment is so beautiful... it would be beautiful too to die on this...
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TonePu5her
from lincoln !UK! (United Kingdom) on 2003-03-10 05:40 [#00588270]
Points: 3640 Status: Regular
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Similar post
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Charles D Ward
from ASS, okay? (United States) on 2003-03-10 05:46 [#00588281]
Points: 1072 Status: Addict
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Well, yes, but these moments can also encourage you to change your life in a radical way... But anyway, it's very beautiful, so try it no matter what you decide to do with your life.
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AE_King
from Australia on 2003-03-10 05:58 [#00588298]
Points: 749 Status: Regular
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If I got up at 4am and went to the top of a building with a boom box I'd prolly fall asleep, or say, what the **** am I doing here? :P
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Charles D Ward
from ASS, okay? (United States) on 2003-03-10 06:07 [#00588308]
Points: 1072 Status: Addict
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watch the dawn
wear huge headphones
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AE_King
from Australia on 2003-03-10 06:13 [#00588317]
Points: 749 Status: Regular
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I think if you're feeling really shit about life, the last place you should be is atop a huge skyscraper...
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TonePu5her
from lincoln !UK! (United Kingdom) on 2003-03-10 06:15 [#00588318]
Points: 3640 Status: Regular
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lol
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uzim
on 2003-03-10 06:17 [#00588321]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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yeah maybe ^^
but feeling shit about life doesn't necessarily involve you have the guts to jump... : )
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AE_King
from Australia on 2003-03-10 06:27 [#00588329]
Points: 749 Status: Regular
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The pavement below will have the guts if you decide to jump...
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Charles D Ward
from ASS, okay? (United States) on 2003-03-10 07:00 [#00588368]
Points: 1072 Status: Addict
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haha :D
don't die ugly...
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-03-10 07:05 [#00588373]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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i don't want to live but i'm scarred of dying, i suck.
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joey
from montréal (Canada) on 2003-03-10 09:13 [#00588499]
Points: 1220 Status: Lurker
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well, hevquip, im glad you exist, because you wrote that wicked wierd post a few months back... that totally incoherent meandering train of thought. i loved it...
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Job a boj
from Land of the Lost Timezone! (Canada) on 2003-03-10 09:34 [#00588536]
Points: 498 Status: Regular
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I know what you mean Hevquip. I find people to be so boring lately.... Seems like they say one thing but mean another. I've pretty much given up on most people.
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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2003-03-10 13:56 [#00589006]
Points: 3381 Status: Regular
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overall, i think that people need to start spending more time with themselves.
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-03-10 14:00 [#00589015]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to hevquip: #00589006
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heh i do :) :P
i want to die
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2003-03-10 14:04 [#00589024]
Points: 21459 Status: Lurker
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...
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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2003-03-10 14:06 [#00589031]
Points: 3381 Status: Regular
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nothing wrong with wanting to die.
odd as it sounds, i hate life, but i'm enjoying my stay here. anyway, the world will eventually find a way to kill me.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2003-03-10 14:09 [#00589035]
Points: 21459 Status: Lurker
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The once beautiful interwoven evolved systems of our world were corrupted absurdly by people. Watch "bubble boy" to see what I mean. Or go to school or something. Evolution halted, bent over and threw up.
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Charles D Ward
from ASS, okay? (United States) on 2003-03-10 14:12 [#00589044]
Points: 1072 Status: Addict
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Well, it seems that liking life is uncool, know what I mean?
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-03-10 14:15 [#00589046]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to Charles D Ward: #00589044
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no. i havent got a clue what you mean. therres nothing cool about being fucking drriven so farr into the grround that you would considerr taking yourr own life.
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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2003-03-10 14:28 [#00589084]
Points: 3381 Status: Regular
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well Anus...you cant let life beat the shit out of you. up until lately, i was at a very bad point in my life. i slipped beyond suicide. basicaly suicide comes after pain and suffering from it. the negative aspect of me kept me alive though thinking that it wouldn't be fair of me to die because it believed that i had to be punished and that i had to suffer for being such a bad person. so one night i just sat and thought. thought about how it comes down to the issue of how even though every situation seems beyond control and not everything will go as planned, the most important thing we have to focus on is ourself to come to grips with what's going on around us so we can gain a proper perspective and analyze things as they come and go. life is about mastering ourselves so that in turn we can then master it.
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Anus_Presley
on 2003-03-10 14:34 [#00589092]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker
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its rreally harrd hevquip, i trry, but i just don't have the strrength to drrag myself out of the gutterr to get kicked back in.
i will neverr (well not any time soon) kill myself, i couldent do it to my family, i couldent do it to myself i don't think... i just can't see what i AM going to do thou.
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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2003-03-10 14:53 [#00589125]
Points: 3381 Status: Regular
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one thing that i thought about is who i was at the moment and what i had done to all the people i had relationships with. then i thought about where i wanted to be down the road. even though i was happy with who i was, i realized if i stayed the same, i would keep destroying myself. i could no longer hold onto the past anymore because i knew it would keep fucking me up and make me into it's image. life is about manipulation and you cant change shit if your head is not on straight. though everything inside me seemed to click in one night, it only came after 15 years of pain, hatred, and not giving a shit. all i need is a shred of happiness inside me and to know that everyday i can make the change i want to see. so though i don't live every moment in bliss and i dont walk around happy with the world and people, i do realize that my interpretations of life dictate how i feel and the situation i'm in because it's an issue of taking things as an affect, but not always the cause.
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avart
from nomo' on 2003-03-10 18:25 [#00589500]
Points: 1764 Status: Lurker
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hevquip: I can relate to what you are saying A LOT. I basically share your view on life and have come to similar conclusions.
Music & art makes life worth living I think and I will try, the little I can, to make life better.
For me that means finding ways to get money to live and create with that doesn?t mean sucking corporate dick and to do things that feels ok for me and others and the world in general.
monoid: grow up.
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Charles D Ward
from ASS, okay? (United States) on 2003-03-10 18:34 [#00589510]
Points: 1072 Status: Addict | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00589046
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No, you don't get it. COOL, like sarcastically
Yay, he jumped off 50th floor, he's freakin COOL
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pachi
from yo momma (United States) on 2003-03-10 18:34 [#00589511]
Points: 8984 Status: Lurker
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we all wonder what the answer is to life's question. hence, we spend our whole lives trying to figure it out.
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b0nk
from 1969 in the sunshine (United States) on 2003-03-10 18:35 [#00589512]
Points: 1121 Status: Regular
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life only sucks if you live up to other people's expectations, have fun and enjoy life on your own terms because we are in some scary times and its not worth it to hold back living
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pachi
from yo momma (United States) on 2003-03-10 18:39 [#00589516]
Points: 8984 Status: Lurker | Followup to b0nk: #00589512
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touche
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Ubik
from United States on 2003-03-10 18:51 [#00589525]
Points: 662 Status: Lurker
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life is overrated.... its true... i don't mean that in a negative way ... people just blow their image of themselves out of purportion, and they they are disappointed ... then they try to make up excuses that they are really not how they appear subjectively, but they lie to themselves that they are in fact really great just that everybody else fails to recognize their greatness... and every fucking person does this same irrational exercise and that is why people and society sucks... the answer > fuck people or fuck people...
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Charles D Ward
from ASS, okay? (United States) on 2003-03-10 19:04 [#00589539]
Points: 1072 Status: Addict
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according to the Book, answer to life's question is "42"
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Crocomire
from plante (United States) on 2003-03-10 20:36 [#00589599]
Points: 2116 Status: Lurker | Followup to hevquip: #00587633
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can't be bothered to read all that, but yea.
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Charles D Ward
from ASS, okay? (United States) on 2003-03-10 20:57 [#00589638]
Points: 1072 Status: Addict | Followup to Charles D Ward: #00589539
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and the Question is "what do you get if you multiply 6 by 9?"
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