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 (nobody)...and 158 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Mutant Death Pengwin from Medicine Hat on 2001-09-27 23:54 [#00037360] | |||||||||
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Flying through the crowded streets of Vengalbal was the legendary Jamille the Carpet Rider. Vengalbal was a very large city with millions of people busily going about their business. Jamille was a legend amongst the people. But no one worshipped Jamille more than Tom the Dead Cod. Tom was very happy for a dead cod, but he wanted more. He wanted to be Jamilles sidekick. Jamille had the second best sidekick in the land, Newspaperboy! Newspaperboy delivered newspapers to your door when you really needed it, he would always have a paper ready if you were to spill your milk; he would be there in a flash to give you a paper. But wait, you ask, why isn't Newspaperboy a super hero? Well, as it turns out, it is a crime to deliver papers and save lives. The superhero Board made the rule that Practical Superheroes are Evil. So any Practical Superhero gets caught, they get their left hand removed and flogged in the Town Square. But back to Jamille. Jamille, riding his flying carpet high over Vengalbal looking for a damsel in distress. A scream rose from Jamilles left. Jamille flew his wonderous carpet towards the source of the scream, Jamilles accountant James. The Supremely Evil Phoneman was trying to steal James' cell phone for the purpose of world destruction! It seemed Jamille the Carpet Rider showed up at the nick of time! So it seemed... "What is going on here?" Bellowed the Heroic Jamille. "This Evil Man is trying to steal my cell phone!" Exclaimed James the Accountant. "I was not!" Hollered the Supremely Evil Phone Man. "Then what were you doing, Evil Doer?" Demanded Jamille. "I just wanted to see if it was a Brain Scrambler! They have been descizing themselves as phones!" Hooted Supremely Evil Phone Man. "You just wait, arch-nemisis, the Supremely Evil Phone Man! I am going to call Newspaperboy! He will give you the hardest whack you will ever recieve from a paper!" Shouted Jamille. But before Jamille could holler for Newspaperboy, James the Accountant hit Jamille over the head with his briefcase. Jamille the Carpet Rider was unconscience. Tom the Dead Cod saw the whole horrible carade. 'I will save you Jamille the Greatest Carpet Rider!' Thought Tom the Dead Cod. But Wait! We need some background information on all the characters thus far! Jamille wasn't born the Greatest Carpet Rider of Them All. No he wasn't. Jamille used to be Olaf the Simple Bean Farmer in Sasketchewan. Olaf was always a happy boy. He and his 9 brothers and 6 sisters all lived happily in their 2 bedroom cabin in the Greatest Bean Growing Soil in all of Saskachetwan. Olaf had many days of plowing the fields with Pedro the Ox. They would plow the fields from sun up to sun down all growing season. But Olaf wasn't always happy. Sometimes when Growing Season was over his dad would be angry. Dad would scream at Olaf's brothers and sisters. "EAT YOU BEANS YIMMY!!!!" Would scream Dad. Olaf was confused because dad didn't have son, daughter, wife or cousin named Yimmy. But sometimes, he and dad would have a man to man talks. "Old man saskatchewan is cruel, Yimmy. He only gives us 2 seasons, Growing Season and Winter. NOW EAT YOU BEANS YIMMY!!!! Don't make me bring out the shaving belt!" Olaf loved his dad. Sometimes when Dad had too much ketchup moonshine with supper he would take one of Olaf's sisters to the outhouse. All night long Olaf would hear screaming and moaning for 2 to 3 minutes. Dad would come back in and say, "You kids are gonna have a new brother or sister! Someone want to bring in Yimmy? God Dammit!! What did I say before I left? EAT YOUR BEANS YIMMY!!!! Each one of you little bastards are getting licks from the shaving belt!" One day Olaf confided in his dad that he was going to be Jamille the Greatest Carpet Rider of Them All! Dad gave Olaf a mighty cuff to the ear and said, "Yimmy, Sasketchewan don't have no carpets! Specially flyin carpets! We are simple people Yimmy! We don't have time for these complex city slicking carpet riders! Why don't you be Yimmy the Simple Farmer with a good John Deere Tractor!" Olaf started to cry. Dad got angry and screamed, "EAT YOUR BEANS YIMMY!!!" After being beaten from sunrise to sundown with a rake, Olaf ran away to the city. Olaf soon became Jamille the Greatest Carpet Rider of Them ALL!!! |
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Mutant Death Pengwin from Medicine Hat on 2001-09-28 00:12 [#00037378] | |||||||||
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i think i got carpel tunnel syndrome just from typing that. my wrists they burn! burn! oh my god make it stop no thats i wrote, i will finish it some other time. i think i might continue with the adventures olaf. |
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John Whitman on 2001-09-28 00:13 [#00037380] | |||||||||
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Subject expresses interest (Tag#7) in story. |
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Carl Jung on 2001-09-28 00:14 [#00037381] | |||||||||
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Subject is obviously just trying to "make friends" so to speak. His two selves are not enough. |
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FDR on 2001-09-28 00:18 [#00037384] | |||||||||
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It's a transparent attempt to befriend someone who will "back him up" in the other thread |
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John Whitman on 2001-09-28 00:19 [#00037386] | |||||||||
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Expressing longing for companionship, indeed. |
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John Whitman on 2001-09-28 00:20 [#00037387] | |||||||||
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Goodmorning FDR, welcome aboard. |
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Mutant Death Pengwin from Medicine Hat on 2001-09-28 00:20 [#00037388] | |||||||||
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You guys are mean. Leave me and Replex alone so we can make-out, unless you guys want to join in, then it could be a party. speaking of parties, there's a party in my mouth and everyone is coming and theres a party in my pants, so how bout it? i love you |
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FDR on 2001-09-28 00:24 [#00037390] | |||||||||
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I'd be more interested in Jamille The Carpet-Muncher. Can you write that for me, MDP?. |
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John Whitman on 2001-09-28 00:28 [#00037391] | |||||||||
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Mutant Death Penguin, I assure you we are taking all the neccesary steps in the ethical treatment of subject. |
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Mutant Death Pengwin from Medicine Hat on 2001-11-30 01:30 [#00056952] | |||||||||
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e |
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Ophecks from Nova Scotia on 2001-11-30 02:33 [#00056966] | |||||||||
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Pengwin. If you're going to be a dick and bring up old crap topics, then go off and die. :) I lie like a rug. Or a carpet. A carpet rider! |
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