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Job Interviews
 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-07-03 13:17 [#00294921]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



I have a job interview in an hour. It's inputting data into
a computer... AT MY CHURCH! Lots of virgins there, I'd
assume, except the naughty priest. I'll be on computer all
day. I can handle this.

What shall I do to impress them? I was considering going
with no pants on. I think I'm going to shave, for sure, I
look like a scrub. What do I wear? Maybe a Black Sabbath
T-Shirt... I really want this job, it sounds cool, and I
like the architecture at the chruch, it's eye candy. Maybe I
can play around with church organ on break or something.


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-07-03 13:21 [#00294924]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



You want to get a job? *shock, horror*

Did not my example mean anything to you?


 

offline Chri5py from my Solarbear (United Kingdom) on 2002-07-03 13:23 [#00294925]
Points: 2903 Status: Lurker



I've got a job interview tomorrow... good luck ophecks....!


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-07-03 13:28 [#00294928]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



I'll try not to show up an hour late like at my LAST job
interview a couple weeks ago. And then lying inadvertently
about my age, accidentally saying 18, and then correcting
myself and saying 19. Made it look I was a liar, when I was
really just mentally unstable and confused.

Good luck, Chris! Don't be like me... make a good
impression.


 

offline jand from Braintree (United Kingdom) on 2002-07-03 13:29 [#00294929]
Points: 5975 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



That sounds like the easiest job interview of all
time....it's not as if your own church is gonna reject ya,
is it?...

Make sure the computers got an internet connection
tho...tell em that would be essential...

Don't mention porn...


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2002-07-03 13:37 [#00294944]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



If you don't get the job, call them bad christians :)



 

offline jand from Braintree (United Kingdom) on 2002-07-03 13:39 [#00294946]
Points: 5975 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



Don't wear a dress...


 

offline jand from Braintree (United Kingdom) on 2002-07-03 13:39 [#00294947]
Points: 5975 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



anymore...


 

offline Chri5py from my Solarbear (United Kingdom) on 2002-07-03 13:39 [#00294949]
Points: 2903 Status: Lurker | Followup to Ophecks: #00294928



cheers mate.... I'm not going to church tho. In fact, I
don't know where I'm going ...weird


 

offline princo from Shitty City (Geelong) (Australia) on 2002-07-03 13:43 [#00294953]
Points: 13411 Status: Lurker | Followup to Ophecks: #00294921



i went to a christian school, most of the teachers there
just said "errr...im a christian" and that always knocks
them down !!

try it man!


 

offline Jedi Chris on 2002-07-03 13:50 [#00294955]
Points: 11496 Status: Lurker



Good luck, and if you don't get the job, burn the church
down like the satanic worshippers they really are!!

Muhahahahahhahahaha!


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-07-03 13:53 [#00294956]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



If they start giving you shit about your looks/ low level
faith in god/ obvious inclination to masturbation, just show
'em my avatar.


 

offline Tasos from Athens (Greece) on 2002-07-03 13:56 [#00294958]
Points: 706 Status: Lurker



good luck Ophecks & Chri5py.
Just don't tell them that you post on the Aphex Twin
board... =)))))

...I just woke up... fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkk


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2002-07-03 14:00 [#00294964]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00294956 | Show recordbag



God has a capital "G" whether you believe in it or not. It's
a name like Meho or Ceri. Shoddy grammar Meho old chum :)


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-07-03 14:05 [#00294969]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



I always write it with non-cap "g" to demonstrate my
disrespect. The only exception is when I refer to the band
of the same name when I use all caps style, because they
ruled.


 

offline jand from Braintree (United Kingdom) on 2002-07-03 14:08 [#00294972]
Points: 5975 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



hang on a minute, what data would a church want
inputted?...

this is secret porn scam!!...def...


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-07-03 14:11 [#00294975]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



They probably want to finally get the answer to that old
problem of how many angels can you gagng-bang on the tip of
a needle and they have decided to employ some heavy
artillery here: fractal math etc. They have the right person
to do it: Ophecks is their man. I can see him being
canonised in less then a year.


 

offline jand from Braintree (United Kingdom) on 2002-07-03 14:12 [#00294976]
Points: 5975 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



St Ophecks of Nova Scotia does have a nice ring to it...


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-07-03 14:20 [#00294987]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



Yeah, he will be celebrated for beating the centuries old
problem that had bugged many of christianity's best minds to
insanity.


 

offline princo from Shitty City (Geelong) (Australia) on 2002-07-03 14:32 [#00294991]
Points: 13411 Status: Lurker



on a totally "astrobotnia" related issue, you could chant
the sample from
"everyone"
ya know?!
"i wanna kill everyone, satan is good, satan is our pal!"


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-07-03 15:08 [#00295026]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



That went well, I think. Lots of nubile young 17-21 year old
girls there, for some reason, I hope that's a trend. I think
I made a good impression.

You just input marriage and basptismal info into their
records, Microsoft Works... piece of cake, but tedious as
hell. I don't know if I want it. I want it, but there's a
part of me that says ''NO FUCKING WAY, don't do it. Be
lazy.''

I listened to Confield on the way there, nice walk. Wow,
it's 11:08AM... early! I usually don't get up until 3PM.
Carpe Diem, baby!


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-07-03 15:19 [#00295037]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



"Be lazy"!!! Yeah, that's my man!!! Way to go, Oph! I
listened to Poison Idea the last time I went to the job
interview and it helped me gain that irresistable "fuck you
all" attitude that is essential for this kind of interviews.
"Confield", on the other hand may make you look , er,
spiritual...


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2002-07-03 15:24 [#00295040]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to jand: #00294972 | Show recordbag



Ha ha, yeah, like the couple at the Branch Davidians that
were running a mail order porn business from the church
letterbox!


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-07-03 15:27 [#00295046]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00295037 | Show recordbag



Confield certainly made me feel smarter, and loosened me up.
It got the ol' brain fluids flowing with wild abandon! I
almost used the Lord's name in vain during the interview,
but the Power of Confield saved my ass! Thank you, St. Booth
and St. Brown!

Now I'm praying to God that I don't get the job, after some
deep thoughts in the last couple of minutes... but if I
do... so be it. Argh, such a cunundrum.


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-07-03 15:30 [#00295050]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



Well, every job is prostitution but you'll be whoring for
god himself, that should make you feel better.


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2002-07-03 15:35 [#00295059]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00295050 | Show recordbag



Yeah, Thomas Aquinas reckoned women who whored themselves
for God were above nuns but below saints.


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-07-03 15:40 [#00295064]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict



That bloke was idle, wasn't he. He came up with an actual
"scientific" proof of god's existence, as if anyone needed
one.


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2002-07-03 15:53 [#00295085]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular



Yeah, come out and work for a religious community in a
beautiful place.......


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2002-07-03 15:54 [#00295090]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to Meho Krljic: #00295064 | Show recordbag



Yeah, the Roman Catholics still study his work to this day!


 

offline titsworth from Washington, DC (United States) on 2002-07-03 18:27 [#00295271]
Points: 14550 Status: Lurker



it's weird, i was actually hired for a job this past friday
(tho i wish i hadn't accepted it cos they ended up changing
my hours from about 20 to 2 per week 5 minutes before i left
the office), they said they'd call monday for my training
but they've yet to call. i guess i'm lucky, since it
would've been a huge waste of my time and money to travel an
hour one-way to work an hour or less and come back twice a
week.


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-07-03 19:08 [#00295308]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



Hmmm, well they just called and said I didn't get it, the
postion is filled! I'm relieved, or am I?


 

offline titsworth from Washington, DC (United States) on 2002-07-03 19:21 [#00295326]
Points: 14550 Status: Lurker | Followup to Ophecks: #00295308



try to get another job? i dunno, go for part time, it'll
leave you time to goof off

i wish i could get a job too


 


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