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Embarassing/Funny Wanking Stories..
 

offline spoonz from Edmonton, AB (Canada) on 2002-06-05 23:30 [#00251745]
Points: 3219 Status: Regular



I think we know each other well enough to share this with
each other?
does anyone have any funny or emarassing wanking stories?
getting caught, or whatever else....


 

offline Amonbrune from Vancouver (Canada) on 2002-06-05 23:32 [#00251751]
Points: 7327 Status: Addict



Fell asleep on the public bus and had a wet dream

jk


 

offline REFLEX from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-06-05 23:32 [#00251752]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular



Never got caught or anything back in the day. I dont know
anyone who has either.


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2002-06-05 23:37 [#00251759]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



i was vacuuming naked and i accidently got sucked on.....and
i liked it

...til it came out covered in fluff and bits of broken glass


 

offline Amonbrune from Vancouver (Canada) on 2002-06-05 23:39 [#00251765]
Points: 7327 Status: Addict



Oooo...Bob likes things hardcore...lol


 

offline REFLEX from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-06-05 23:45 [#00251778]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular



I like bobs avatar.


 

offline Amonbrune from Vancouver (Canada) on 2002-06-05 23:46 [#00251779]
Points: 7327 Status: Addict



what is it supposed to be Reflex?


 

offline grinningcat from london (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-05 23:47 [#00251780]
Points: 1073 Status: Lurker



"anything back in the day", reflex?

is that stage long gone behind u now then? :-)


 

offline REFLEX from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-06-05 23:48 [#00251782]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular



I used to jerk off like anyone else..... hardly anymore for
two reasons. 1- it gets boring, 2- I have a girlriend.


 

offline roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2002-06-05 23:49 [#00251785]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker



a dude at my jr high accidentally video taped him self
wanking and showed it to his business and marketing class


 

offline REFLEX from Edmonton, Alberta (Canada) on 2002-06-05 23:49 [#00251787]
Points: 8864 Status: Regular



Thats a urban legend ive heard it a few times before.


 

offline plugexpert from Nijmegen (Netherlands, The) on 2002-06-05 23:51 [#00251791]
Points: 1073 Status: Lurker



been caught masturbating at a friends house,....by my m8s
mom!

I was watching this porn-flick while jerking/stroking the
whole 9. in my m8s room (BTW he wasn't in the room)
I was getting into it,......while all of a sudden my m8s mom
walked in,......

Embarrising like wooaaaa,......I tried 2 hide what I was
doing ,....stupidly with my pants half down,.......cock in 1
hand,.,..other hand grabbing the remote 2 stop the video.
It was 2 late,......she looked at me
,..intriquately,.focussing on the crotch area,....eventually
turning around and walking away silently.

Crazily enough I got back at it,.when she left,.....damn no
shame as a 12 year old,..

Got a real Mom fetisch after that


 

offline jimisteel from SLC (United States) on 2002-06-05 23:58 [#00251806]
Points: 363 Status: Regular



Question related to the topic: When you have a girlfriend
do you wank it more or less or not at all. All my mates
say they wank it more when they have a girlfriend, because
if you wank it a couple hours before sex its better for her
because you last longer.

What would you do if you got caught by your girlfriend? or
anyone? that would be so awkward.

I want to hear from someone who's been caught.



 

offline plugexpert from Nijmegen (Netherlands, The) on 2002-06-06 00:02 [#00251814]
Points: 1073 Status: Lurker



1 girlfriend got jealous after she caught me,...she didn't
like that I watched porn.
Got really jealous,........
Ánother girlfriend I had didn't mind and liked 2 join the
party,.....she was nasty btw


 

offline Ctrl Alt Del from Ft. Worth (United States) on 2002-06-06 00:03 [#00251817]
Points: 2190 Status: Lurker



Oh my god! I cant believe no one has referenced
this! Wheres jand when you need him?


 

offline roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2002-06-06 00:06 [#00251823]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker



fine, it actually happened at my school though. my friends
sister was in the class, err... thats not helping my case.
but it's true!


 

offline xlr from Boston (United States) on 2002-06-06 05:27 [#00252146]
Points: 4904 Status: Regular



Yeah, jimisteel I used to do that. Kind of a necessity.

And that's all i'm going to say on the subject...never been
caught yet.


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-06-06 15:57 [#00252563]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker



I was in the barn milking the cows... and of course I was
naked, and well, I got my dick caught in the milking
machine... anyways, it was the best experience of my
life!!!!


 

offline phiz from Liverpool (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 16:08 [#00252592]
Points: 2622 Status: Lurker



i snapped my banjo string while havin a shuffle and had to
go to my dad, cock in hand, pouring with blood, he told me
to stop wanking too much :)


 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 16:17 [#00252609]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker



I read about a guy who was pleasuring himself with a broom
handle when he slipped and impaled himself. Apparently he
was so embarressed he didn't call for an abulance and died.


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-06-06 16:19 [#00252613]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker | Followup to B3n: #00252609



ouch... oh my GOD, that's gotta suck!!!!

Note to self, never use a broom to pleasure myself... at
least when I'm alone!!!

:)


 

offline BlatantEcho from All over (United States) on 2002-06-06 16:20 [#00252615]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker



I find myself wanking more when I have g/f, but for shitty
reasons. Last g/f just was terrible at getting me off, so I
took it upon myself, and now when I'm single, I don't need
to, go figure.


 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 16:21 [#00252618]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker | Followup to The_Funkmaster: #00252613



no its ok, I just shortened it by cutting the end off


 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 16:24 [#00252629]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker



oh god I forgot!

I don't know if i've said this, but as a joke I told my mate
to click on the goatse.cx link and he didn't know so he did,
we were chatting on messenger and it went silent. Then after
a bit he told me his had had come in and seen it and THEN
(!) called his mother in who said she felt faint and had to
leave. his dad said "he's GOT to be gay" (about the old guy
in the pic) and then my mate spent the next 10 minutes
professing he wasn't gay and then blamed it on me! ahaha, I
didn't ring for a bit but it was very VERY funny, he's made
me promise not to tell anyone, woops!


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2002-06-06 16:25 [#00252633]
Points: 11010 Status: Lurker



Yeah yeah, so I was masturbating and listening to some fat
drum & bass......I didn't hear my dad comming.....I think It
must have been odd for him to see my masturbating to drum n
bass......


 

offline The_Funkmaster from St. John's (Canada) on 2002-06-06 16:27 [#00252635]
Points: 16280 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #00252633



were you going along with the beat and stuff?


 

offline phiz from Liverpool (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 16:28 [#00252639]
Points: 2622 Status: Lurker



beat to the beat, haha


 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 16:30 [#00252642]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #00252633



yeah, we wanna see expert beat matching!


 

offline Nexus 6 from Netherlands, The on 2002-06-06 17:02 [#00252677]
Points: 3221 Status: Lurker



hehe
I once hugged this girl when her close friend had an
accident and she was really sad. Tho this girl was really
hot and I just couldn't control me penis iykwim. She smacked
me in the face in front of my whole class (cus it was at a
party of one of my classmates.) That was pretty embarassing


 

offline Chri5py from my Solarbear (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 17:05 [#00252678]
Points: 2903 Status: Lurker



I got caught by my girlfriend once. She'd arrived form a
holiday 2 days early to surprise me. I wasn't expecting her
and was getting pissed off coz of lack of sex.

She said I was a bad boy for not waiting and said it was her
turn to wank.

A very enjoyable evening and only embarassing for a few
seconds. ;)


 

offline core from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 17:49 [#00252725]
Points: 1536 Status: Lurker



once in my sixth-form english class this girl who usually
didn't sit beside me was put at my desk and she started
rubbing her leg against mine and pretending she wasn't
actually doing it. so after a few minutes it became a game
between us and she had her hand on my leg, then in my crotch
rubbing me through my trousers. so i did the same to her and
the desk thumped loudly when we both came, and i managed to
stifle any noise but she let out a long squeek. it was
wicked.


 

offline core from London (United Kingdom) on 2002-06-06 18:02 [#00252741]
Points: 1536 Status: Lurker



just realised my story should be in a new thread called
'brief but beautiful sexual encounters' or something. if
anyone wants to start one.... ?


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2002-06-06 18:33 [#00252822]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



Core, that is one sexy story. A long squeek, haha!

Hmm... I was jerking off to a Sears catalogue when I was
just getting uber-horny in my 12th-13th years. And my mom
came in and saw me, about to get my dick out to enjoy the
swimsuit section. Brilliantly, I said something like, ''er,
I was just shopping for a swimsuit for your birthday!!''.
Her birthday was like a month earlier, of course...


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2002-06-08 19:04 [#00256002]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



a bit off topic but it was asked so......my avatar is the
cover of frequency jams by req....so there


 

offline eric_hard_jams on 2002-06-08 19:24 [#00256031]
Points: 1986 Status: Addict



the only time i was caught was when my girlfriend was doing
all the hard work and her 10 year old sister barged in, she
ran out crying.


 

offline BlatantEcho from All over (United States) on 2003-02-06 11:53 [#00543614]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker | Followup to eric_hard_jams: #00256031



oh damn!


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-02-06 12:14 [#00543631]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



nothing exiting has happened to me in this deparrtment,
apparrt frrom once when i wasent rready in time, and to this
day, i don't know wherre it went. (the cum)


 

offline JAroen from the pineal gland on 2003-02-06 12:20 [#00543639]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular



yes, cum has a way of its own


 

offline BlatantEcho from All over (United States) on 2003-02-06 12:53 [#00543656]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00543631



hahahahahaha


 

offline regital from Baltimore (United States) on 2003-02-06 16:08 [#00543929]
Points: 800 Status: Lurker



never caught...

this kid in my highschool brought in Playboy and started
jerking off in the stall and a teacher caught him. EVERYONE
in the school heard about it. I always wondered what the
teacher was doing looking in the stalls. I felt bad for the
kid though because before the incident he got made fun of a
lot, but after it was even worse.


 

offline redRummy from Brighton (United Kingdom) on 2003-02-06 16:19 [#00543943]
Points: 403 Status: Regular



so you haven't heard about the guy jerking off with his
headphones on... only to 'finish up' and find a nice hot
fresh cup of tea on his bedside table... brought in by his
mom....

hahahHAHAHAHAHa


 

offline warpphex from lurkston, ziltyland. (United Kingdom) on 2003-02-06 16:29 [#00543951]
Points: 1372 Status: Lurker



when i was at school this girl came and sat next to me we
started touching she had a hole in her tights so i went in
she fucking stood up and the whole class could see my arm
hanging out of them!


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2003-02-06 17:46 [#00544037]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to warpphex: #00543951



HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

..

what did you say..?


 

offline afxNUMB from So.Flo on 2003-02-06 18:11 [#00544058]
Points: 7099 Status: Regular



one time I was getting eaten out by this guy and I said
"stop and fuck me already" cause that was the first time its
happened to me and my body was filled with emotion that I
was like what the fuck is happening!!!

So, my sister knocks on the window, then leaves eventually
she comes back when I'm dressed asked what was going on and
I tell her me and the guy were smoking...I then ask her
friend who was there at the moment what he saw and he said
"nothing, we just heard you say stop" then asked why....and
I said cause he wanted to give me a shotgun(shotgun is
taking a puff then blowing it in the persons mouth, meeting
mouth to mouth)

So thats my story till this day I dont know if my sister
really saw or not =)


 

offline BlatantEcho from All over (United States) on 2003-02-06 20:48 [#00544172]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker | Followup to redRummy: #00543943



lol!


 

offline BlatantEcho from All over (United States) on 2003-02-06 20:49 [#00544173]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker | Followup to afxNUMB: #00544058



how old is your sister, cuz that could be pretty tramatic,
no?!


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2003-02-06 21:08 [#00544193]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Followup to core: #00252725 | Show recordbag



''once in my sixth-form english class this girl who usually
didn't sit beside me was put at my desk and she started
rubbing her leg against mine and pretending she wasn't
actually doing it. so after a few minutes it became a game
between us and she had her hand on my leg, then in my crotch

rubbing me through my trousers. so i did the same to her and

the desk thumped loudly when we both came, and i managed to
stifle any noise but she let out a long squeek. it was
wicked. ''

7 months later, and that is still hot as hell, baby.



 

offline skyfarmer from a bigger, more complex and tun (Russia) on 2003-02-06 23:13 [#00544273]
Points: 1112 Status: Addict



I was pleasing myself while lying in the bathtub, and all of
a sudden my mass center gets offset, and my leg goes SQUETCH
and I go AAARRRGGHHH, and so I was screaming continously for
about three minutes while trying to fix it. It went fine,
though I often feel annoying pain in that leg.


 

offline afxNUMB from So.Flo on 2003-02-06 23:26 [#00544283]
Points: 7099 Status: Regular | Followup to BlatantEcho: #00544173



Shes 5 years old than me, but...but she's a virgin so I know
she would have totally thought bad of me


 

offline Key_Secret from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-06-10 15:49 [#00735358]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to plugexpert: #00251791




Crazily enough I got back at it,.when she left,.....damn no
shame as a 12 year old,..


hahaha! hahahaha


 


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