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Summary: -1/10 Worst Movie Ever first off: this is the only honest review of this movie you will ever see, because no one who cares enough to write a REAL REVIEW weill ever do so so. even shorter: do not believe a fucking word other than what i say, this movie sucks TLDR ~ it's a couple days ago and my life sucks and i'm a bit stoned and i'm fucking around on telegram and i see some furry chat groups saying ROBOT DREAMS and it's some art movie furry meet at a weird art movie at a weird little theatre in weird kendall square at weird MIT and my gosh this seems like me. it is urgent i have to see this shit. it's time for and adventure first, i have to overplan this to make it such a disaster i don't have time to think about what i'm doing. i bother furries i've never spoken with on telegram and no one replies. what's the train? anyone meeting there? can someone give me a lift? finally, i tumble some jargon into the backpack and take a lyft. i just put "KENDALL MIT" into the computer and we're just over the bridge intro cambridge where i communcate to the lady driving that she is wonderful and i love her very much but it's time for shark to walk and let me out right here. she is confused, but tipping her almost $10 over the phone for no reason sorts it and i get out of the car. i have no idea where i am going. i have 40 minutes until movie starts. where is the theater? no worries. i start walking. i get in the way of people in the bike lane. people look at me strange. people on bikes almost run me over but i always seem to never notice them and not get hit. the cars fare worse as i jaywalk randomly in the direction of... oh, there, it'll be over there [continues next post] |
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i wander down the esplande on the side right by MIT and eventually cross over into MIT turf [jaywalking at good moments]. i wander around green C-line turf, visiting old fond spots, generally getting in peoples' way. jaywalking. finally, i decide, i should get my bearings the phone GPS is confusing. the map keeps rotating. i try legitimately four times to get some short man's attention before... he is trying VERY HARD to... he doesn't notice me. he doesn't WANT to notice me. but i am polite and asking nicely and clearly not crazy or wanting money or anything so FINE here, help shark with phone. he explains the blue lines, the arrow, and i understand none of it except the general pointer he gives me. he was using two phones at once and i am having trouble using just one! isn't that funny! i remark he doesn't really process this other than that i have said something because he has resumed using two phones at once and yes i said something else have a nice day. this is fun. next i wander over to target. i buy, um, two giant bottles of selzer, a dasani, and a half gallon of milk i am a shark. how does auto checkout work? do it for me. here is my bank card. the frog lady is frozen in a scowl an i think she is amused but her face doesn't show these emotions because it cannot even if it wants to [continues] |
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outside of target, i crack the half gallon of milk and down a third of it right frum the jug. i re-seal it and stow it in... i have a red target bag? or cvs? i dunno? i didn't ask for this re-usable bag but it was given to me anyways when the store clerk did the robot checkout for me. on we go i keep wandering around cambridge. looking at me phone. getting disoriented. making more progress before losing my orient and looking my phone and getting re-progressed. i'm outside of middle east club. i saw autechre once. also MBM and years before, tweaker with chris vrenna. no one's here it's not show time. some fuzzy head is finishing... maybe it was a blunt? and he's about where you'd work the door for middle east he gives me proper man directions. as the crow flies, take a left. he says the train would be fastest... but no, i'm a shark, i walk. i think a moment: TAKE ME THERE! you seem like the sort. i have weed? what is it? oh, it's some furry robot... i don't know... he guffaws and says naw, i'm working. but he would have totally crashed whatever if this was with me if he wasn't working and equally bored continues |
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tl;dr + no interest in whatever ricknmorty looking pap this is but I got confused and thought this was about the VHS and I got indignant for a second lol |
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eventually, i find the theatre. almost, never mind. i have a cig i find the theatre. i am already missing the start of the movie. i skip the lines and say: i want to see the movie you want to buy a ticket. how. lines. auto-robot kiosk. i am a shark? i want to see the movie? SIR. YOU CANNOT at this point i am very amused being a deliberate child. i get one man to walk me over to the edge of the line: here? this is where i wait? it's the middle of the line, which is not moving at all. he has not dropped me off at the end. i walk back up to the velvet ropes and resume bothering the staff. finally a slightly less autistic man with more authority comes out and works the robot ticket kiosk for me. i am beyond the velvet ropes. do i care where i sit? no. i am a shark i wander in quietly in back and sit in an empty chair, which, i later note, was "RESERVED FOR DISABLED" that fits. i open my selzer and it sprays all over me, the chair, the movie, the theater. it fits. this fits. it's some adult swim and i'm charmed by how fucking random this movie is. good start so far. i like robot dancing. there is a robot. am i the robot there's a thing about a big toe and wrote oddles about oodles on that here years ago in my bullshit thread [continues] |
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the movie is continuing but it's not being interesting. some of the music is okay but these are 6/10 jawns at best. this is clearly time for... i have never smoked weed in a movie theatre before. i will never again. but this once, it's a bucket list thing. no one is paying me any mind anyways. i load up my pipe and very expertly take a very single solid puff, just a taste, before quickly stowing it all away in a locked box, with the key separated elsewhere in my jargon to the point where it would take me five minutes myself to get the weed back out again. no one says anything. the movie is STILL boring, though. what else do i have? i take out WACKY NOISE TUBE from my backpack of jargon and... john cage style, the audience is part of the expierience, i begin adding bits of weeeOOAWE to the movie. gently. trying to work with it, just add a little sound to augment idly. i'm a bit stoned SIR. COULD YOU PLEASE wacky noise tube is not using its indoor trumpet. i understand. i continue to wacky noise tube, but i do it so quietly it makes almost no sound, just a glacial slide and THONK as it hits the endcap without enough air to weerrrt and the guy literally thanks me for adjusting the trumpet of my wacky noise tube. that's not how this is supposed to go. this is dull. i put wacky noise tube away continues |
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i am a bored shark. i leave in the middle and cause another scene in the empty lobby. I WOULD LIKE TO SMOKE A CIG IN A SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE MANNER and the more important man staff man takes outside the doors and something about MIT security and the street. whatever. i smoke most of a cig outside the deserted open-air thing and politely throw the butt out in a trash can. the man lets me back in and i watch the movie the credits. i usually watch all of the credits to see if after-credits but no, people are leaving, so i do too. there are there almost-identical short asian bunny MIT short student girls and chattering, and i'm walking behind them and shark aloud "I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT MOVIE AT ALL" "ohhh, it's a romance" they say in giggles. i am confuse "it seemed like AI-generated pasta. no sauce" i reply. i do not wait for a response. WALKING! very shortly. ice cream. i like ice cream. it fits. i stop. the clerk is some cool chick with a bunch of shit in her face and i trade a bunch of silver dollars for punch of... dirty mint chip... a scoop in a cup. i wander around and finish my ice cream. it's time to go home. i call a lift. i take out a cigarette some man walks around and starts NERVOUSLY AUTISTIC TALKING about well maybe i can smoke here and maybe it's okay but mit security i light cig. i smoke cig. i put it out on the sidewalk. no one bothers me asian main regard me with low-mild interest as i squat and smoke and wait and they take out the MIT trash with the help of robots. my lift arrives. i go home. i lost my bank card i think. that movie was terrible. i want my money back end |
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i think it is some overly complicated bullshit for autistic trans people and if i crashed all that thinking it was a weird furry thing because it'd be interesting and i'm bored that would be, like, one of the best things i've ever done @nevenen on venmo please support my work. because i really did think i lost my bank card and that took most of my money |
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also, sloa - ~ ikmport~! i am waiting for them to fill my adderall. i did all the above without any adderall whatsoever, because the fuckers are always dicking me about [documented in video previous] and soon, today, i think, they will have it? and i can pick it up? and do actual work i am paid for instead of this? and if you don't want me to be another wMw. i am having money probs. landlord probs. and banklord, landlord probs. my family, that shit, all true. and i really think i did lose my bank card. @nevenen on venmo if that works without STUPID ROBOT ASPERGERS BEE WALTZ like having to verify an email help i need $$ |
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theoretically i think my adderall is ready now. but i can't find my phone. it has to be somewhere in the house since they told me after 2 after telling me the computer wasn't working. so it has to be here somewhere. and i really do think i lost my bank card. i am a shark. weeWooo. halp. yap |
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no one addressed me directly, properly, as a shark, despite all this noise the whole time. bizarre |
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on telegram people kept accusing me of being an AI and i sent more and more selfies until SIR. PLEASE DO NOT ALMOST FLASH YOUR DICK ON OUR TELEGRAM and i'm not a robot, ok? you bitches started it |
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