You are not logged in!

F.A.Q
Log in

Register
  
 
  
Now online (1)
belb
...and 132 guests

Last 5 registered
Oplandisks
nothingstar
N_loop
yipe
foxtrotromeo

Browse members...
  
 
Members 8025
Messages 2610905
Today 8
Topics 127344
  
 
Messageboard index
[review] robot dreams
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 16:47 [#02636584]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



Summary: -1/10 Worst Movie Ever

first off: this is the only honest review of this movie you
will ever see, because no one who cares enough to write a
REAL REVIEW weill ever do so so. even shorter: do not
believe a fucking word other than what i say, this movie
sucks

TLDR ~

it's a couple days ago and my life sucks and i'm a bit
stoned and i'm fucking around on telegram and i see some
furry chat groups saying ROBOT DREAMS and it's some art
movie furry meet at a weird art movie at a weird little
theatre in weird kendall square at weird MIT and my gosh
this seems like me. it is urgent i have to see this shit.
it's time for and adventure

first, i have to overplan this to make it such a disaster i
don't have time to think about what i'm doing. i bother
furries i've never spoken with on telegram and no one
replies. what's the train? anyone meeting there? can someone
give me a lift?

finally, i tumble some jargon into the backpack and take a
lyft. i just put "KENDALL MIT" into the computer and we're
just over the bridge intro cambridge where i communcate to
the lady driving that she is wonderful and i love her very
much but it's time for shark to walk and let me out right
here. she is confused, but tipping her almost $10 over the
phone for no reason sorts it and i get out of the car.

i have no idea where i am going. i have 40 minutes until
movie starts. where is the theater?

no worries. i start walking. i get in the way of people in
the bike lane. people look at me strange. people on bikes
almost run me over but i always seem to never notice them
and not get hit. the cars fare worse as i jaywalk randomly
in the direction of... oh, there, it'll be over there

[continues next post]


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 16:52 [#02636585]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i wander down the esplande on the side right by MIT and
eventually cross over into MIT turf [jaywalking at good
moments]. i wander around green C-line turf, visiting old
fond spots, generally getting in peoples' way. jaywalking.
finally, i decide, i should get my bearings

the phone GPS is confusing. the map keeps rotating. i try
legitimately four times to get some short man's attention
before... he is trying VERY HARD to... he doesn't notice me.
he doesn't WANT to notice me. but i am polite and asking
nicely and clearly not crazy or wanting money or anything so
FINE here, help shark with phone.

he explains the blue lines, the arrow, and i understand none
of it except the general pointer he gives me. he was using
two phones at once and i am having trouble using just one!
isn't that funny! i remark

he doesn't really process this other than that i have said
something because he has resumed using two phones at once
and yes i said something else have a nice day.

this is fun. next i wander over to target. i buy, um, two
giant bottles of selzer, a dasani, and a half gallon of
milk

i am a shark. how does auto checkout work? do it for me.
here is my bank card.

the frog lady is frozen in a scowl an i think she is amused
but her face doesn't show these emotions because it cannot
even if it wants to

[continues]


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 16:56 [#02636586]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



outside of target, i crack the half gallon of milk and down
a third of it right frum the jug. i re-seal it and stow it
in... i have a red target bag? or cvs? i dunno? i didn't ask
for this re-usable bag but it was given to me anyways when
the store clerk did the robot checkout for me. on we go

i keep wandering around cambridge. looking at me phone.
getting disoriented. making more progress before losing my
orient and looking my phone and getting re-progressed.

i'm outside of middle east club. i saw autechre once. also
MBM and years before, tweaker with chris vrenna. no one's
here it's not show time. some fuzzy head is finishing...
maybe it was a blunt? and he's about where you'd work the
door for middle east

he gives me proper man directions. as the crow flies, take a
left. he says the train would be fastest... but no, i'm a
shark, i walk.

i think a moment: TAKE ME THERE! you seem like the sort. i
have weed?

what is it? oh, it's some furry robot... i don't know...

he guffaws and says naw, i'm working. but he would have
totally crashed whatever if this was with me if he wasn't
working and equally bored

continues


 

offline dariusgriffin from cool on 2024-06-27 17:00 [#02636587]
Points: 12271 Status: Regular



tl;dr + no interest in whatever ricknmorty looking pap this
is but I got confused and thought this was about the
Computer Dreams (1988) VHS and I got indignant for a second lol


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 17:01 [#02636588]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



eventually, i find the theatre. almost, never mind. i have a
cig

i find the theatre. i am already missing the start of the
movie. i skip the lines and say: i want to see the movie

you want to buy a ticket. how.

lines. auto-robot kiosk.

i am a shark? i want to see the movie?

SIR. YOU CANNOT

at this point i am very amused being a deliberate child. i
get one man to walk me over to the edge of the line: here?
this is where i wait?

it's the middle of the line, which is not moving at all. he
has not dropped me off at the end. i walk back up to the
velvet ropes and resume bothering the staff. finally a
slightly less autistic man with more authority comes out and
works the robot ticket kiosk for me. i am beyond the velvet
ropes. do i care where i sit? no. i am a shark

i wander in quietly in back and sit in an empty chair,
which, i later note, was "RESERVED FOR DISABLED"

that fits. i open my selzer and it sprays all over me, the
chair, the movie, the theater. it fits. this fits.

it's some adult swim and i'm charmed by how fucking random
this movie is. good start so far. i like robot dancing.
there is a robot. am i the robot there's a thing about a big
toe and wrote oddles about oodles on that here years ago in
my bullshit thread

[continues]


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 17:05 [#02636589]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



the movie is continuing but it's not being interesting. some
of the music is okay but these are 6/10 jawns at best. this
is clearly time for...

i have never smoked weed in a movie theatre before. i will
never again. but this once, it's a bucket list thing. no one
is paying me any mind anyways. i load up my pipe and very
expertly take a very single solid puff, just a taste, before
quickly stowing it all away in a locked box, with the key
separated elsewhere in my jargon to the point where it would
take me five minutes myself to get the weed back out again.
no one says anything.

the movie is STILL boring, though. what else do i have? i
take out WACKY NOISE TUBE from my backpack of jargon and...
john cage style, the audience is part of the expierience, i
begin adding bits of weeeOOAWE to the movie. gently. trying
to work with it, just add a little sound to augment idly.
i'm a bit stoned

SIR. COULD YOU PLEASE

wacky noise tube is not using its indoor trumpet. i
understand. i continue to wacky noise tube, but i do it so
quietly it makes almost no sound, just a glacial slide and
THONK as it hits the endcap without enough air to weerrrt

and the guy literally thanks me for adjusting the trumpet of
my wacky noise tube. that's not how this is supposed to go.
this is dull. i put wacky noise tube away

continues


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 17:12 [#02636590]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i am a bored shark. i leave in the middle and cause another
scene in the empty lobby. I WOULD LIKE TO SMOKE A CIG IN A
SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE MANNER and the more important man staff
man takes outside the doors and something about MIT security
and the street.

whatever. i smoke most of a cig outside the deserted
open-air thing and politely throw the butt out in a trash
can. the man lets me back in and i watch the movie

the credits. i usually watch all of the credits to see if
after-credits but no, people are leaving, so i do too.

there are there almost-identical short asian bunny MIT short
student girls and chattering, and i'm walking behind them
and shark aloud

"I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT MOVIE AT ALL"

"ohhh, it's a romance" they say in giggles. i am confuse

"it seemed like AI-generated pasta. no sauce" i reply. i do
not wait for a response. WALKING!

very shortly. ice cream. i like ice cream. it fits. i stop.
the clerk is some cool chick with a bunch of shit in her
face and i trade a bunch of silver dollars for punch of...
dirty mint chip... a scoop in a cup.

i wander around and finish my ice cream. it's time to go
home. i call a lift. i take out a cigarette

some man walks around and starts NERVOUSLY AUTISTIC TALKING
about well maybe i can smoke here and maybe it's okay but
mit security

i light cig. i smoke cig. i put it out on the sidewalk. no
one bothers me asian main regard me with low-mild interest
as i squat and smoke and wait and they take out the MIT
trash with the help of robots.

my lift arrives. i go home.

i lost my bank card i think. that movie was terrible. i want
my money back

end


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 17:13 [#02636591]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



i think it is some overly complicated bullshit for autistic
trans people and if i crashed all that thinking it was a
weird furry thing because it'd be interesting and i'm bored
that would be, like, one of the best things i've ever done

@nevenen on venmo please support my work. because i really
did think i lost my bank card and that took most of my money


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 18:19 [#02636592]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



also, sloa - ~ ikmport~!

i am waiting for them to fill my adderall. i did all the
above without any adderall whatsoever, because the fuckers
are always dicking me about [documented in video previous]
and soon, today, i think, they will have it? and i can pick
it up? and do actual work i am paid for instead of this?

and if you don't want me to be another wMw. i am having
money probs. landlord probs. and banklord, landlord probs.
my family, that shit, all true. and i really think i did
lose my bank card. @nevenen on venmo if that works without
STUPID ROBOT ASPERGERS BEE WALTZ like having to verify an
email help i need $$


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 19:25 [#02636593]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



theoretically i think my adderall is ready now. but i can't
find my phone. it has to be somewhere in the house since
they told me after 2 after telling me the computer wasn't
working. so it has to be here somewhere. and i really do
think i lost my bank card. i am a shark. weeWooo. halp. yap


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 19:26 [#02636594]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



no one addressed me directly, properly, as a shark, despite
all this noise the whole time. bizarre


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2024-06-27 19:30 [#02636595]
Points: 24878 Status: Regular



on telegram people kept accusing me of being an AI and i
sent more and more selfies until SIR. PLEASE DO NOT ALMOST
FLASH YOUR DICK ON OUR TELEGRAM

and i'm not a robot, ok? you bitches started it


 


Messageboard index