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crying as a middle aged man

offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2024-01-28 01:11 [#02632160]
Points: 4824 Status: Regular

I mentioned in 2-3 other threads but I just turned 40.

Maybe I've been watching too much emotional shit (Charlie
Kaufman's work in particular) and listening to too much
emotional music,

but certain art has been making my eyes water recently.

Is this menopause???/

I'm away from my wife this week (for work) and decided to
rewatch HBO's The Leftovers. I usually watch everything with
her, but I picked this show because it made me bitterly sad
as it was airing 2014-2017. If I watch it by myself, I don't
have to hold back. It's an emotionally intense series
(especially considering it's part thriller/mystery) and evey
ep has been hitting me hard, just as predicted.

Maybe it's the score. I almost can't get through Max
Richter's Dona Nobis Pacem (part of the main score) without a
being emotionally overwhelmed. It's truly a great piece of
contemporary classical music, especially as it swells and
finally releases.

Also been spinning Aphex's MARCHROMT30a Edit 2B 96 and the last 1:30
of the track is somehow turning me into a newborn woman.
Something in the vocoder. I don't know. What is this?

It feels like a midlife crisis, but in general, everything
is going fine.


offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2024-01-28 01:18 [#02632162]
Points: 4824 Status: Regular

I guess as a proper question:

do you ever feel like seeking out art that is going to make
you feel specifically sad?


offline big from lsg on 2024-01-28 01:26 [#02632164]
Points: 23450 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

i cry a lot, not necessarily because of sadness, though. not
sure i'd want to watch this left overs. would depress me too
much maybe

max richter i know for his electronic music for Ad Astra


offline Tony Danza from Sesame Street on 2024-01-28 02:50 [#02632171]
Points: 3564 Status: Regular

Joni Mitchell can make me tear up, especially the Hejira
album. When she dies I'm gonna spend a week listening to her
old albums and blubbering like an infant.

There are parts of Midnight Mass that I find deeply moving
and make me weepy like the montage with Holly Holy by Neil
Diamond. Beautiful, emotionally complex filmmaking and it
turned me into a Diamondhead.


offline RussellDust on 2024-01-28 09:42 [#02632175]
Points: 15977 Status: Lurker

I’ve always been a cryer, but since nearly dying twice in
the past 4 years, life has become much harder and I cry a
lot more. Complex PTSD apparently. I’m learning to cope
but still cry every morning and a few times during the day.
I don’t mind it, it seems to evacuate a lot of stuff. Also
you detox through tears, which is nice.


offline -crazone from smashing acid over and over on 2024-01-28 09:56 [#02632177]
Points: 11130 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

No not really but the music I listen to is mostly
corresponding with the mood I'm in. And my mood can be sad,
but I don't listen to it "on purpose" because I'm sad.


offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2024-01-28 11:17 [#02632182]
Points: 1896 Status: Regular

I cry almost daily, mainly to do with guilt and regret, not
so much feeling sorry for myself.

I purposefully AVOID emotional subject material, meaning I
don't watch a great deal of things with the current Mrs
Wilco. I can't watch anything involving broken famiies, dead
or abused children (Netflix seems to know this about me and
keeps suggesting films that have variations on the theme of
"After the death of their son, a young couple move out into
the woods..."). To be honest I don't care for stories about
relationships or people, really. The only things I like are


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2024-01-28 11:49 [#02632185]
Points: 6286 Status: Lurker

i find it very difficult to cry, even listening to stuff
that used to have me in floods. neko case, diane cluck, and
+1 for joni mitchell. was very cathartic, the last time was
months ago tho... i think it's the antidepressants, i'm dead
inside :(


offline Tony Danza from Sesame Street on 2024-01-28 13:17 [#02632186]
Points: 3564 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02632182

I started watching Mandy on Netflix which is probably a
mistake, but I love Panos Cosmatos's style. Enjoyed his
Cabinet of Curiosities episode and of course Black Rainbow.
Hoping his stylized approach makes the trauma more


offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2024-01-28 23:10 [#02632188]
Points: 30869 Status: Addict

Haven't really cried in about 15 years, i'm not sure why
perhaps these antidepressants are too good


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2024-01-30 15:54 [#02632208]
Points: 39587 Status: Regular

I cry, my skin has become thicker and my emotions have
changed but when a breakup happens and something, anything,
everything reminds you of such, them damn tears don’t just
dribble, they can flow down a 49 year old man’s cheek


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2024-02-01 07:13 [#02632230]
Points: 7697 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag

arnie now knows why we cry,
but it is something he can never do.

also crying is very good for your health,
just stay hydrated


offline mermaidman on 2024-02-01 08:12 [#02632231]
Points: 8173 Status: Regular

this thread is gay obviously


offline mermaidman on 2024-02-01 08:14 [#02632232]
Points: 8173 Status: Regular

bunch of pansies


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2024-02-01 09:24 [#02632233]
Points: 39587 Status: Regular

Yeah I changed my mind

Real men don’t cry



offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2024-02-01 22:38 [#02632255]
Points: 4824 Status: Regular

I might be a pansy but I'm only about 5-8% inclined to have
sex with another man.


offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2024-02-02 01:11 [#02632262]
Points: 39587 Status: Regular | Followup to Wolfslice: #02632255



offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2024-02-03 08:14 [#02632277]
Points: 1896 Status: Regular

Imagine you woke up in a bed with a man you'd had sex with,
and he's still asleep, and he farts and you can smell your
own semen.

I mean, come on! What the hell!?!?

Why am I having these thoughts at 8am? I'll tell you for
why. Because you put them there.

Those thoughts.

Gay Thoughts.

Are you happy?

Are you!???!


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2024-02-03 09:08 [#02632278]
Points: 7697 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag

you´re absolutely right,
semen smells totally different if coming from a male anus.


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2024-02-03 09:10 [#02632279]
Points: 7697 Status: Lurker | Followup to Wolfslice: #02632160 | Show recordbag

oh and happy belated, mr wolf!
congs to the big four!


offline mermaidman on 2024-02-03 10:58 [#02632282]
Points: 8173 Status: Regular

does your semen really smell? mine barely smells it's as if
it's not there


offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2024-02-03 12:36 [#02632283]
Points: 30869 Status: Addict

I shan't tempt fate again, broke my 16 year streak in
unhappy circumstances


offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2024-02-04 00:41 [#02632288]
Points: 4824 Status: Regular

sorry hyperflake for the jinx

I hope the unhappy circumstances are surmountable and if not
just feel better soon.


offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2024-02-08 17:47 [#02632405]
Points: 10998 Status: Regular

I'd approach this scientifically, pinpointing exactly what
triggers these emotional reactions. Then, I'd ponder if
that's beneficial for my mental health. Crying likely serves
an evolutionary function, but that's mere speculation.
However, if such behavior negatively affects your overall
mood, I'd steer clear of things triggering this emotion.
Western psychology has a long tradition claiming people need
to 'process' emotions to cope. Largely, that's a myth. A
healthy dose of ignorance acts as a shield against emotional
distress, and when that shield breaks, people get depressed.


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2024-02-08 19:26 [#02632410]
Points: 7697 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #02632405 | Show recordbag

there seems to be patterns of unhappy people focusing on the
their unhappiness. constantly pinpointing to pain surely
isnt gonna help,
so, happy thoughts = happy people? im sure you didnt mean
that either mon,
but ignorance is bliss, somehow thats right imo.
i guess some things you cannot ignore and some you should.
everyone has to figure out for themself what they are.

but when it comes to actually crying,
people usually feel good after crying.
so i dont see that as negatively affecting ones mood.
to me it seems to be actually processing or letting go of


offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2024-02-08 20:33 [#02632418]
Points: 10998 Status: Regular | Followup to ijonspeches: #02632410

Nah, im not advocating for positive thinking. I am talking
about altering the way one relates to their thoughts and
emotions. Its a metacognitive approach, with a bit of
stoicism and behaviorism thrown in.


offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2024-02-09 01:24 [#02632432]
Points: 30869 Status: Addict | Followup to Wolfslice: #02632288

Its ok mate, in one way it was a relief to know i could
still feel emotions and had functioning tear ducts


offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2024-02-11 05:50 [#02632500]
Points: 9854 Status: Lurker | Followup to Wolfslice: #02632160

I can't straight up cry but I can get choked and teary eyed
listening to music. Usually bvdub on walks or a real good
track from a movie or anime or video game. Makes me
appreciate life.

sup xlt. do you guys have a discord or something. ill always
have fond memories of this place and all of you


offline steve mcqueen from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2024-02-16 21:19 [#02632638]
Points: 6308 Status: Regular

why are you worried about crying?
getting emotional from music is GREAT, peak human, do it

one tune that repeatably gets me a strange mixture of
sad/excited/hopeful that i cant explain, is La Dusseldorf -
La Dusseldorf, thinking about post war Germany
LAZY_TITLE first track


offline steve mcqueen from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2024-02-16 21:21 [#02632639]
Points: 6308 Status: Regular

dancing and crying


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