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USA ruins breakfastBurrito
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-19 18:17 [#02630239]
Points: 23060 Status: Regular



remember breakfast burrito? how my foot was broken, and i
was in a pit of unbreakable sorrow... because it was
logistically impossible for me to procure breakfast
burritos?

well, NEWSFLASH: USA has now RUINED BREAKFAST BURRITO
because it prefers pettiness and greed over nice things

breakfast burrito used to be: you fork over $11; you receive
one (1) burrito breakfast module, along with a handful of
change for the tip jar. shortly after my foot healed,
however, the cashier says: "$13.90 please" -- what? dammit.
across-the-board 1/3 price hike. the tip jar gets the dime
but my wallet retains the $1 from breaking a $5. this is
fucking take-out why am i tipping anyways

i didn't go back for months, after that. the weasels would
ask, "...can we have a breakfast burrito?" and I would have
to reply: "No, it's not worth $14." The weasels would argue,
but you can't spoil your weasels.

Today, though: the clouds have moved out; the sun is
shining... my fridge is empty... ...and the weasels have a
powerful lust for eggs.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-19 18:17 [#02630240]
Points: 23060 Status: Regular



When I go to pick it up, the cashier follows her usual
script, but her delivery is a bit out of sorts today. "DO
YOU NEED ANY KETCHUP OR UTENSILS" said sort of like the way
a cop says "KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM." Lulz,
wut

"No thanks," I reply. She hands me back a dollar and storms
off.

"...hey, where's my dime?!" I thought.

The question was rhetorical; she'd clearly pocketed it.

I was, to say the least, nonplussed. Like: "...wowww, for
real? Did you just violate the only actual rule being a
cashier has [don't fuck with the count] for a goddamn dime?
What the fuck is wrong with you?" Walking home, I try to
figure it out.

Well: Not only did the price increase drive off some
customers, but the remaining customers stopped tipping for
take-out [because they're salty over the price increase]. So
now she's salty over take-out tips, and that's where the
FUCKING SASS came from.

When I didn't say "keep the change," it let her know that
dollar was going back in my wallet, at which point her
attitude shifted from "normal" to "FUCKING SALTY." This
happened, I estimate, precisely as she said KETCHUP OR
UTENSILS. She's reciting from a script and her mouth kept
moving as her mind went elsewhere. My best guess would be:
"DAMMIT! You're not tipping for take-out either, are you?
Fuck you buddy, I'm keeping your dime. Go ahead and call me
out over a fucking dime. JUST. FUCKING. TRY. IT. because I
AM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD TODAY!"

So: She can't rationalize quitting, but casually risking
getting fired over a dime works JUST. SUPER. If I were to
suggest she quit, her answer would be some variant of, "I
can't quit because I need the money" when it should be "If I
don't quit I will get randomly fired sometime over the next
few weeks when the manager catches on to how comfortable
I've become just pocketing the change" because embezzling
from the communal tip jar is a perk reserved for managers.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-19 18:36 [#02630241]
Points: 23060 Status: Regular



the whole world is like this. everything is painted the same
shade. here is the fucking zeitgeist:

- Reddit wants to IPO, but reddit has never made any money
(AT ALL. EVER) and admitting this will FUCK THEIR IPO IN THE
ASS. The obvious move is to burn down anything they can't
level a paywall around, e.g. reddit itself

- Ubuntu Linux wants to IPO, but linux is designed from the
ground up to be fundamentally unprofitable. I'd estimate you
have two or three months to get off of Ubuntu before they
begin to stuff it full of crap like Windows has been getting
recently

- my current web hosting company-thing got bought out by a
larger company-thing. they immediately raised prices 20% and
have done fuckall else

- the domain register jacked up prices 20% because they
figure they can get away with it, and they want to do an IPO
someday

- breakfast burrito company 30%

- unity game engine has just said "we've updated how our
pricing worked five years ago" and indie game developers are
genuinely it could bankrupt them [but for the moment it's
just causing emotional meltdowns and the occasional
involuntary psychiatric hold]

- microsoft bought activision and activision bout zenimax
and zenimax bought bethesda and now MICROSOFT PWNS STARFIELD
and you can only play it on microsoft's spyware operating
system

- Nvidia said "oh we just like GPU prices this high, we're
not changing it sorry"

- AMD said "In the past we'd have to undercut the
competition to survive as a company, but since it's just us
and NVIDIA now we just knock $5 off of whatever they're
charging because we're a scrappy independent company and
want to help you stick it to the man

alright i finished my burrito. that's it. cutting myself off


 

online ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2023-09-20 07:41 [#02630243]
Points: 7475 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



you dont want to know what salty staff does to takeaway
food...
but i dont actually mean to load your anger over prices onto
them.

how about you make some huevos yourself, if you can get out
for a burrito you might aswell go out to buy eggs and
stuff.

as for greedy corp:
lets h4ck0r5 the shit out of fucking big corps.
never learnt how to do it, but i use social media to get
back at them



 

offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2023-09-20 14:22 [#02630244]
Points: 6187 Status: Regular



i don't know what a breakfast burrito entails really,
scrambled eggs in some sort of wrap? beans? mcdonalds
stopped doing their egg and cheese wrap so i sort of
commiserate


 

offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-21 07:22 [#02630251]
Points: 4497 Status: Lurker | Followup to belb: #02630244



As long as it's mostly eggs I think you can call it a
breakfast burrito.

Almost always eggs and cheese,

Then you can go bacon, breakfast sausage, hash brows, beans.
Or you can do steak or pork with pico de gallo or a spicy
red sauce. I've also seen the maple syrup route (though that
will get heavy handed quickly, I think).

I see this but never would order it since I just usually
order a chicken fried steak and eggs when I'm actually up to
eat something at breakfast time.

Fat American Shit.


 

offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2023-09-21 10:37 [#02630252]
Points: 6187 Status: Regular



i'll skip the meats but egg, cheese, beans and hash brown is
a bangin combo with a dollop of hp sauce. breakfast burrito,
you have my approval


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-09-21 17:43 [#02630256]
Points: 1556 Status: Lurker



So it's not a Burrito? It's an omelette in a wrap? Eat a
fucking proper burrito, with meat in it, as Dios intended,
and then come back to me. Or just make an omelette at home
and set fire to $15 if it makes you feel better (pop a
dime/quarter/nickel I don't fucking know in your Tip Jar
(roomate's asshole) while you're at it).


 

online ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2023-09-22 07:51 [#02630264]
Points: 7475 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



eggs aside,
people in germany talk a lot about the decline
of middleclass companies and middleclass losing money,
going into poverty.
funny how there seems to be a consensus in a quarter of
germany to blame the immigrants.
when i go to the city, more than half of the stores are now
run by immigrants (some in their n th generation) some i
went to school with. havent seen people work harder.
my boss is tamil and works countless hours, starts early in
the morning and employs multiple people.
but when i walk the street or go to some store people tell
me openly they want "germany first"
"germans first" bla bla.
immigrants which to some seem to be the same as unemployed
with hordes of children, take away our money.
we all know immigrants arent the winners in our society,
its plain insane! we all know where the big money goes.
crime seemingly only consists of gigantuous immigrant clans,
which is evidently not true, as has been talked about by
multiple journalists. and the few millions some make with
fraud before they get busted apparently ruin our state.
there is about 22% vote for the (legit) nazi party,
which so far every party has avoided to form a coalation
with due to our history, until now.
but a local coalition has been formed.
i fear the next election.
but hey, go make germany great again,
well see how that goes.



 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-25 00:40 [#02630297]
Points: 23060 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02630256



So it's not a Burrito? It's an omelette in a wrap? Eat a
fucking proper burrito, with meat in it, as Dios intended,
and then come back to me. Or just make an omelette at home
and set fire to $15 if it makes you feel better (pop a
dime/quarter/nickel I don't fucking know in your Tip Jar
(roomate's asshole) while you're at it).


just come over and i will fucking kick your ass. you limp
pathetic pufferfish


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-25 00:44 [#02630298]
Points: 23060 Status: Regular | Followup to ijonspeches: #02630264



people in germany talk a lot about the decline of
middleclass companies and middleclass losing money, going
into poverty.


i'm sorry, but this makes no sense. i'm back in this thread
because "beef teriyaki" used to be, like, $6 back when, $8
or $9 more recently, and the kinda shit place is like
"$18.95 for beef teriyaki appetizer" and they won't do
delivery unless it's through an app and the still kind of
nuts peking ravioli for $11 jumps to $12 app and when i
tried to install the app i accidentally installed a
competing app that was an ad instead and

this is shit. $no sale
like it has been for MONTHS.
and if you have a problem with me being pissed over this,
come over and i'll deliver my fist to your face


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-25 01:03 [#02630299]
Points: 23060 Status: Regular



effectively ~ ordering food has always been at a premium and
i get this. but when fucking appetizers have been raised
from $9 to $19, it is very much FUCK OFF and the starting
tale is like, soon as a local place did that shit, i am
gone. for two months. then one day, ONE DAY ONLY, my fridge
is empty and i need protein and b12 vitamins and it's the
whole arc above where the cashier has a meltdown because i
didn't tip for a $14 takeout burrito and make it $15 and
steals a fucking dime from me in a shitfit, risking her job

i ordered fucking eggs grocery delivery and the asshole
smashed them and now i have to complain and document this.
and i don't have a car, i can't afford a car, i can only
walk and get so much delivered. so it's like: next day,
after this burrito shit, the asshole just bungs the eggs
onto my porch and destroys them and if the fucking shitheads
used paper bags instead of plastic, like, it probably would
have been fine. but that costs more

and YOU FUCKING DUMB SHITS i eat like, mostly, cereal.
bananas. eggs. i usually cook my own eggs. but the delivery
service fucking smashes my eggs and take-out is some
bitch-ass teary drama. i hacked shit in high school, we had
everyone's grades, the internal teacher disciplinary emails,
and it was kind of like a dog chasing its tail -- now
fucking what? we can't do shit with this or we'll get
caught. and so i went into college thinking "i'm done with
hacking" and so right now i just want to punch roger wilco
in the face


 

online ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2023-09-25 07:50 [#02630301]
Points: 7475 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



well, what i meant in short was:
middleclass companies lose against big corp
(which often gets massive tax benefits)
middleclass gets employed by big corp for
minimum wage or below branch tarif
(by working for a sub company that loans workers)
middleclass ends up being low wage
inflation comes and rocks the boat
now we have a split society,
because inflation caters to the rich and wealthy..
--> breakfast burrito 20$

ill put one on top:
equal society turns to master and servants.
former middleclass and those who fear to lose their status
get angry or frightened, now,
the real trick now is to blame it on people even poorer.
and thats sick or disabled persons
(half of germanies 2 million longterm unemployed)
and tadaa immigrants (which dont get an allowance to work or
move until their legal status is cleared which can take
forever)
nicely done!

big corps and industry get massive tax support, because
otherwise they assuminlgy would end up moving out of the
country, but inside the country now there is no class
consuming these goods except the rich. like the chef of
mercedes openly said in an interview "we are not hurt by the
crisis, our customers are wealthy, we produce luxury
goods".
and you can see a similar development in other parts, less
and less people can afford service --> service gets even
more exclusive and expensive, because of their "classier"
customers remaining.



 

online ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2023-09-25 07:52 [#02630302]
Points: 7475 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



its an easy formula and to get back on topic:
a recipe for disaster


 

offline Tony Danza from Fabulous Hollywood on 2023-09-25 13:34 [#02630304]
Points: 3260 Status: Lurker



those "ruined" burritos are creating a lot of value for
shareholders


 

offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-26 00:06 [#02630305]
Points: 4497 Status: Lurker



let us know if dog belch comes down
to meet you down in china town
so you can punch him in the face

i'll pay money to watch the slap fight


 

offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-26 00:09 [#02630306]
Points: 4497 Status: Lurker



I got $5 on epic because he probably fights dirty
bite half your ear off or something


 

offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-26 00:10 [#02630307]
Points: 4497 Status: Lurker



"Hows your ear motherfucker?
Just had me a breakfast burrito.
NO TIP."


 

offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-26 00:13 [#02630308]
Points: 4497 Status: Lurker



the other reason epic would probably win is because iirc dog
belch is like 82 years old.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-26 01:27 [#02630310]
Points: 23060 Status: Regular



i'd probably win because he's on record stating that his
balls are thoroughly in the purse of his girlfriend's woke
gender-pronoun slinging daughter and he's a bitch-ass
muthafucka

that someone on this board is like "oh epic seems to know
his shit he must be someone" and i'm "dan" and, "dog belch"
is that it? who the fuck is that? but fuck you for just
lumping me in as a dupe of that sad-sack

then there's the fact that he's now casually giving me shit
about bisexual, and, alright. i may have had some boyfriends
but i will still fucking punch you

chinatown? how about in front of dragon pizza? seems a more
topical fit


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-26 01:28 [#02630311]
Points: 23060 Status: Regular



i'll be off being angry about how difficult it is to get
basic nutrition at a reasonable price ttyl


 


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