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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-19 18:17 [#02630239]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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remember breakfast burrito? how my foot was broken, and i was in a pit of unbreakable sorrow... because it was logistically impossible for me to procure breakfast burritos?
well, NEWSFLASH: USA has now RUINED BREAKFAST BURRITO because it prefers pettiness and greed over nice things
breakfast burrito used to be: you fork over $11; you receive one (1) burrito breakfast module, along with a handful of change for the tip jar. shortly after my foot healed, however, the cashier says: "$13.90 please" -- what? dammit. across-the-board 1/3 price hike. the tip jar gets the dime but my wallet retains the $1 from breaking a $5. this is fucking take-out why am i tipping anyways
i didn't go back for months, after that. the weasels would ask, "...can we have a breakfast burrito?" and I would have to reply: "No, it's not worth $14." The weasels would argue, but you can't spoil your weasels.
Today, though: the clouds have moved out; the sun is shining... my fridge is empty... ...and the weasels have a powerful lust for eggs.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-19 18:17 [#02630240]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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When I go to pick it up, the cashier follows her usual script, but her delivery is a bit out of sorts today. "DO YOU NEED ANY KETCHUP OR UTENSILS" said sort of like the way a cop says "KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM." Lulz, wut
"No thanks," I reply. She hands me back a dollar and storms off.
"...hey, where's my dime?!" I thought.
The question was rhetorical; she'd clearly pocketed it.
I was, to say the least, nonplussed. Like: "...wowww, for real? Did you just violate the only actual rule being a cashier has [don't fuck with the count] for a goddamn dime? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Walking home, I try to figure it out.
Well: Not only did the price increase drive off some customers, but the remaining customers stopped tipping for take-out [because they're salty over the price increase]. So now she's salty over take-out tips, and that's where the FUCKING SASS came from.
When I didn't say "keep the change," it let her know that dollar was going back in my wallet, at which point her attitude shifted from "normal" to "FUCKING SALTY." This happened, I estimate, precisely as she said KETCHUP OR UTENSILS. She's reciting from a script and her mouth kept moving as her mind went elsewhere. My best guess would be: "DAMMIT! You're not tipping for take-out either, are you? Fuck you buddy, I'm keeping your dime. Go ahead and call me out over a fucking dime. JUST. FUCKING. TRY. IT. because I AM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD TODAY!"
So: She can't rationalize quitting, but casually risking getting fired over a dime works JUST. SUPER. If I were to suggest she quit, her answer would be some variant of, "I can't quit because I need the money" when it should be "If I don't quit I will get randomly fired sometime over the next few weeks when the manager catches on to how comfortable I've become just pocketing the change" because embezzling from the communal tip jar is a perk reserved for managers.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-19 18:36 [#02630241]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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the whole world is like this. everything is painted the same shade. here is the fucking zeitgeist:
- Reddit wants to IPO, but reddit has never made any money (AT ALL. EVER) and admitting this will FUCK THEIR IPO IN THE ASS. The obvious move is to burn down anything they can't level a paywall around, e.g. reddit itself
- Ubuntu Linux wants to IPO, but linux is designed from the ground up to be fundamentally unprofitable. I'd estimate you have two or three months to get off of Ubuntu before they begin to stuff it full of crap like Windows has been getting recently
- my current web hosting company-thing got bought out by a larger company-thing. they immediately raised prices 20% and have done fuckall else
- the domain register jacked up prices 20% because they figure they can get away with it, and they want to do an IPO someday
- breakfast burrito company 30%
- unity game engine has just said "we've updated how our pricing worked five years ago" and indie game developers are genuinely it could bankrupt them [but for the moment it's just causing emotional meltdowns and the occasional involuntary psychiatric hold]
- microsoft bought activision and activision bout zenimax and zenimax bought bethesda and now MICROSOFT PWNS STARFIELD and you can only play it on microsoft's spyware operating system
- Nvidia said "oh we just like GPU prices this high, we're not changing it sorry"
- AMD said "In the past we'd have to undercut the competition to survive as a company, but since it's just us and NVIDIA now we just knock $5 off of whatever they're charging because we're a scrappy independent company and want to help you stick it to the man
alright i finished my burrito. that's it. cutting myself off
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2023-09-20 07:41 [#02630243]
Points: 7845 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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you dont want to know what salty staff does to takeaway food...
but i dont actually mean to load your anger over prices onto them.
how about you make some huevos yourself, if you can get out for a burrito you might aswell go out to buy eggs and stuff.
as for greedy corp: lets h4ck0r5 the shit out of fucking big corps. never learnt how to do it, but i use social media to get back at them
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belb
from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2023-09-20 14:22 [#02630244]
Points: 6385 Status: Lurker
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i don't know what a breakfast burrito entails really, scrambled eggs in some sort of wrap? beans? mcdonalds stopped doing their egg and cheese wrap so i sort of commiserate
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Wolfslice
from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-21 07:22 [#02630251]
Points: 4899 Status: Regular | Followup to belb: #02630244
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As long as it's mostly eggs I think you can call it a breakfast burrito.
Almost always eggs and cheese,
Then you can go bacon, breakfast sausage, hash brows, beans. Or you can do steak or pork with pico de gallo or a spicy red sauce. I've also seen the maple syrup route (though that will get heavy handed quickly, I think).
I see this but never would order it since I just usually order a chicken fried steak and eggs when I'm actually up to eat something at breakfast time.
Fat American Shit.
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belb
from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2023-09-21 10:37 [#02630252]
Points: 6385 Status: Lurker
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i'll skip the meats but egg, cheese, beans and hash brown is a bangin combo with a dollop of hp sauce. breakfast burrito, you have my approval
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Roger Wilco
from Mo's Beans on 2023-09-21 17:43 [#02630256]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker
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So it's not a Burrito? It's an omelette in a wrap? Eat a fucking proper burrito, with meat in it, as Dios intended, and then come back to me. Or just make an omelette at home and set fire to $15 if it makes you feel better (pop a dime/quarter/nickel I don't fucking know in your Tip Jar (roomate's asshole) while you're at it).
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2023-09-22 07:51 [#02630264]
Points: 7845 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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eggs aside, people in germany talk a lot about the decline of middleclass companies and middleclass losing money, going into poverty. funny how there seems to be a consensus in a quarter of germany to blame the immigrants.
when i go to the city, more than half of the stores are now run by immigrants (some in their n th generation) some i went to school with. havent seen people work harder.
my boss is tamil and works countless hours, starts early in the morning and employs multiple people.
but when i walk the street or go to some store people tell me openly they want "germany first"
"germans first" bla bla. immigrants which to some seem to be the same as unemployed with hordes of children, take away our money.
we all know immigrants arent the winners in our society, its plain insane! we all know where the big money goes. crime seemingly only consists of gigantuous immigrant clans, which is evidently not true, as has been talked about by multiple journalists. and the few millions some make with fraud before they get busted apparently ruin our state.
there is about 22% vote for the (legit) nazi party, which so far every party has avoided to form a coalation with due to our history, until now.
but a local coalition has been formed. i fear the next election. but hey, go make germany great again, well see how that goes.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-25 00:40 [#02630297]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02630256
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So it's not a Burrito? It's an omelette in a wrap? Eat a fucking proper burrito, with meat in it, as Dios intended, and then come back to me. Or just make an omelette at home and set fire to $15 if it makes you feel better (pop a dime/quarter/nickel I don't fucking know in your Tip Jar (roomate's asshole) while you're at it).
just come over and i will fucking kick your ass. you limp pathetic pufferfish
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-25 00:44 [#02630298]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to ijonspeches: #02630264
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people in germany talk a lot about the decline of middleclass companies and middleclass losing money, going into poverty.
i'm sorry, but this makes no sense. i'm back in this thread because "beef teriyaki" used to be, like, $6 back when, $8 or $9 more recently, and the kinda shit place is like "$18.95 for beef teriyaki appetizer" and they won't do delivery unless it's through an app and the still kind of nuts peking ravioli for $11 jumps to $12 app and when i tried to install the app i accidentally installed a competing app that was an ad instead and
this is shit. $no sale like it has been for MONTHS. and if you have a problem with me being pissed over this, come over and i'll deliver my fist to your face
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-25 01:03 [#02630299]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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effectively ~ ordering food has always been at a premium and i get this. but when fucking appetizers have been raised from $9 to $19, it is very much FUCK OFF and the starting tale is like, soon as a local place did that shit, i am gone. for two months. then one day, ONE DAY ONLY, my fridge is empty and i need protein and b12 vitamins and it's the whole arc above where the cashier has a meltdown because i didn't tip for a $14 takeout burrito and make it $15 and steals a fucking dime from me in a shitfit, risking her job
i ordered fucking eggs grocery delivery and the asshole smashed them and now i have to complain and document this. and i don't have a car, i can't afford a car, i can only walk and get so much delivered. so it's like: next day, after this burrito shit, the asshole just bungs the eggs onto my porch and destroys them and if the fucking shitheads used paper bags instead of plastic, like, it probably would have been fine. but that costs more
and YOU FUCKING DUMB SHITS i eat like, mostly, cereal. bananas. eggs. i usually cook my own eggs. but the delivery service fucking smashes my eggs and take-out is some bitch-ass teary drama. i hacked shit in high school, we had everyone's grades, the internal teacher disciplinary emails, and it was kind of like a dog chasing its tail -- now fucking what? we can't do shit with this or we'll get caught. and so i went into college thinking "i'm done with hacking" and so right now i just want to punch roger wilco in the face
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2023-09-25 07:50 [#02630301]
Points: 7845 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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well, what i meant in short was: middleclass companies lose against big corp (which often gets massive tax benefits) middleclass gets employed by big corp for minimum wage or below branch tarif (by working for a sub company that loans workers) middleclass ends up being low wage inflation comes and rocks the boat now we have a split society, because inflation caters to the rich and wealthy.. --> breakfast burrito 20$
ill put one on top: equal society turns to master and servants. former middleclass and those who fear to lose their status get angry or frightened, now, the real trick now is to blame it on people even poorer. and thats sick or disabled persons (half of germanies 2 million longterm unemployed) and tadaa immigrants (which dont get an allowance to work or move until their legal status is cleared which can take forever)
nicely done!
big corps and industry get massive tax support, because otherwise they assuminlgy would end up moving out of the country, but inside the country now there is no class consuming these goods except the rich. like the chef of mercedes openly said in an interview "we are not hurt by the crisis, our customers are wealthy, we produce luxury goods".
and you can see a similar development in other parts, less and less people can afford service --> service gets even more exclusive and expensive, because of their "classier" customers remaining.
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2023-09-25 07:52 [#02630302]
Points: 7845 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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its an easy formula and to get back on topic: a recipe for disaster
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Tony Danza
from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-09-25 13:34 [#02630304]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular
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those "ruined" burritos are creating a lot of value for shareholders
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Wolfslice
from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-26 00:06 [#02630305]
Points: 4899 Status: Regular
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let us know if dog belch comes down to meet you down in china town so you can punch him in the face
i'll pay money to watch the slap fight
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Wolfslice
from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-26 00:09 [#02630306]
Points: 4899 Status: Regular
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I got $5 on epic because he probably fights dirty bite half your ear off or something
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Wolfslice
from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-26 00:10 [#02630307]
Points: 4899 Status: Regular
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"Hows your ear motherfucker? Just had me a breakfast burrito. NO TIP."
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Wolfslice
from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2023-09-26 00:13 [#02630308]
Points: 4899 Status: Regular
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the other reason epic would probably win is because iirc dog belch is like 82 years old.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-26 01:27 [#02630310]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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i'd probably win because he's on record stating that his balls are thoroughly in the purse of his girlfriend's woke gender-pronoun slinging daughter and he's a bitch-ass muthafucka
that someone on this board is like "oh epic seems to know his shit he must be someone" and i'm "dan" and, "dog belch" is that it? who the fuck is that? but fuck you for just lumping me in as a dupe of that sad-sack
then there's the fact that he's now casually giving me shit about bisexual, and, alright. i may have had some boyfriends but i will still fucking punch you
chinatown? how about in front of dragon pizza? seems a more topical fit
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2023-09-26 01:28 [#02630311]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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i'll be off being angry about how difficult it is to get basic nutrition at a reasonable price ttyl
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