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offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-03-13 17:46 [#02625854]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



LAZY_TITLE



Over the weekend, a Reddit thread made waves for pushing
Samsung into a tough spot. It alleges that the company is
misleading customers with “fake” moonshots captured
using its 100x Space Zoom feature.

Samsung introduced Space Zoom with the Galaxy S20 Ultra.
Since then, the company has touted it as a great tool for
capturing the moon. Samsung has always maintained it uses AI
to enhance these 100x digital zoom shots. A SamMobile report
from 2021 called the feature a gimmick, explaining how
Samsung overlays textures obtained from much
higher-resolution images of the moon on the shots you take
using the Space Zoom feature.


so first it's years of "it's the thinnest phone ever" and
then "it's the best camera ever as a gigantic ugly alien
lump on what used to be the thinnest phone ever" to "we've
done a new thing with the icon tray at the top" and now here
we are.

it is just such a freaking colossal amount of effort to go
through to trick someone to sell a phone camera under crap
pretenses. that the phone has been programmed to detect when
someone is trying to photograph the moon, and then actively
fake it to keep up the gimmick.

do you think these fuckers are out of ideas, or what?

that i was also thinking, i hate the phrase "baby bump" with
a passion. how the fuck did this become a thing? who
the hell wants to see that? so let's have 100x zoom and the
phone uses AI to detect when you're photographing a baby
bump and overlays "higher-resolution images" from rihanna's
abdomen and instagram will be flooded with a bland wash of
AI baby bumps and maybe that'd finally kill the concept?

no?

i'll keep dreamin'


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-03-27 07:23 [#02626247]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02625854



> hat i was also thinking, i hate the phrase "baby
bump" with a passion. how the fuck did this become a thing?
who the hell wants to see that? so let's have 100x zoom and
the phone uses AI to detect when you're photographing a baby
bump and overlays "higher-resolution images" from rihanna's
abdomen and instagram will be flooded with a bland wash of
AI baby bumps and maybe that'd finally kill the concept?

no?

i'll keep dreamin'


LAZY_TITLE ~ "Samsung’s photo ‘remaster’ knows
what this baby pic is missing: teeth"


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-03-27 07:27 [#02626248]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



that, did you know? science has found what is unarguably
data compression happening in the optic nerve. that, before
your brain even receives a signal from your eyes to
interpret, it's already been per-processed; altered.
malaclypse the younger thing; capital-T Truth vs. just
truth. but i think a camera that wallpapers over the reality
in your photos with idealized horseshit is taking it a step
too far


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-03-27 07:36 [#02626249]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



i think the most genius joke watmm ever came up with --
sorry, they have a few -- is "disappearing up your own butt
like an inverse penis sock" and this, i have to admit, this
is the agar from which The Squarepusher Joke emerged. but i firmly
deserve most of the credit for being the shelf that agar was
left up on for far too long

what i'm getting at is: phone cameras disappearing up their
own butt like an inverse penis sock. who wants a camera that
does vlad knows wat to your fotos? like, oh, god, that's
freaky, what'd it do this time and how do i shut it off?

i'd recommend a canon rebel eos for that


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-03-27 08:10 [#02626252]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



re: The Squarepusher Joke

i firmly remember sitting in my car as i came up with this,
and, amusing as it was -- stop it, we have actual work to
do, here -- it was no use. and i wound up with a notepad
full of it. that i very carefully pruned the words down for
maximum cheek and, to this day, i am thrilled to death with
it. but rating usually has more to do with what others
think

that, buried in it all, is some genuine human advice: i'd
like to see squarepusher play in a jam band. he's so very
constructed about everything, that... oh, perhaps this would
have terrified him 15 years ago. perhaps it does now. just
relax and don't put expectations into it. add some notes

maybe i have it all wrong. who knows


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-03-27 09:06 [#02626253]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02626252



i'd like to see squarepusher play in a jam band. he's so
very constructed about everything


i saw him in boston for ufabulum, and, you could barely see
him. but brilliant patterns of flashing lights. i saw
autechre either same place or just down the street years
back, and they just... you know, pushed buttons. that
squarepusher had all these anal-retentive lite-brite
patterns going on and frankly, autechre, taking fucking
note, that was way more interesting, really

opening up for autechre was masonix and he's snuggling an
oboe and a juggalo and a saxaphone and i remember feeling:
if he just had someone backing him up this could kill it,
but instead this is just kind of frustrating, i can feel him
being frustrated

and let's scramble all this. autechre is on some drum
machines. squarepusher has spent god-level computation time
programming grids of lights but he's banned from touching
them for the show itself. masonix does whatever he likes.
squarepusher has to play bass. autechre has to figure it
out. the biggest challenge for squarepusher, if i am getting
this at all correct, will be that his preprogrammed lights
are wrong for xyz improvisation. after a few rounds of this,
slap him, play back a recording, and show how it actually
worked out far better than he could ever see from where he
was sitting. relax man

and again. maybe i have it all wrong. who knows


 


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