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 Now online (2)forck_02lynix belb ...and 48 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613740 Today 18 Topics 127519 |
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Got these New Balance man I wish Mermaidman could see them! So hip! |
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Plus i walk with a cane and recently got some suspenders (braces). I’m now hipster chief in command! |
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Pics or it never happened |
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i'm starting to get fat, my sleep schedule is fucked, my shoulders are chronically sore. i get this feeling like i need to get up and tear around, then i remember my foot is fucked. i hate this |
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i'm so pissed i almost passed out. or maybe my blood pressure is fucked from being forced to do fucking nothing for... however the fuck long it is i don't give a shit anymore i hate everything |
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for over a week or so, it's essentially felt like i am stuck at a layover at an airport. perhaps i show up here sometimes and write rambles of my usual grade of coherency -- whatever that is -- but i mostly feel incredibly dysfunctional right now, and this is screwing my life up, financially esp. and i really can't tell you what would fix it. a large check for mercy. punching taylor swift in the fucking cooter. something. i need something. ugh |
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that i've tried just a shoe on it, a day or two ago, and strange. the muscle weakness. but just walking like boot despite... but okay to get up and pee. so now i've tried it a bit more solidly, went downstairs, made some tea, upstairs. and it's going alright. that, generally, there was a mild setback a few weeks in (dodging some poorly-controlled child on a scooter) and then i've been relying on my own internal gauge with a good lump of addition for caution since i don't want to do it in again. and so far, alright i wanted to share the very strange sensation i had just now, though. it reminded me of how, every time i've gotten sleep paralysis, i've kind of panicked and fought my way awake almost immediately. except i've moving my foot, and it's like, this continuing feeling of fighting this paralysis. partly the muscle weakness, absolutely but then i find myself going haaaugghh aloud as i fight through it in the kitchen, and it felt so strange to push through that bit just there and after a think: i was entirely reacting like i was going to receive pain for doing this, but there was none, and i'm pushing through this large glacier shelf of expected pain and this triggers, actually, aphasia, like going up stairs and you think there's another, but there isn't, and your foot comes down on air, and it feels weird. except i was moving with muscle atrophy through an expected stair of pain, and there wasn't any, and it felt weird. especially as i realized i very much preemptively acted as if i was in pain as i pushed through it |
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also some very interesting rhythmic tingling as i was first using it again. i could make a sound out of it. probably correlates to some sort of brainwave |
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i can't wait to take a shower again. i haven't properly bathed in weeks. taking a bath is just such a freaking production. i've kept waiting for something to go direly wrong, and... well, it's kind of surprising. what was i doing wasting so much time showering that regularly? not joking. change your clothes -- particularly socks, underwear, shirt -- regularly. wash your face off. wash your bedsheets. occasionally soak some water over your hair. deoderant. anti-fungal for feet. that feet, my feet are terrible; that's arguably the worst of it. but still... they are merely smelly and unappealing, not uncomfortable or functionally compromised in any way. but overall. it's shocking how little it seems to have mattered... oh, it could have been six weeks at this point. i think the girl at the liquor store actually likes how i smell. i'm still utterly looking forward to a shower; it will be amazing and mmm perhaps tomorrow i can risk the foot for five minutes |
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randomly -- right; i never wrote this up that raymond scott... well, from wikipedia Some of Raymond Scott's projects were less complex but still ambitious. During the 1950s and 1960s, he developed and patented electronic telephone ringers, alarms, chimes, and sirens, vending machines, and ashtrays with accompanying electronic music scores, an electronic musical baby rattle, and an adult toy that produced varying sounds dependeding on how two people touched each another. He believed these devices would "electronically update the many sounds around us – the functional sounds." i'd been admitted to the ER for my foot and now nothing to do for two hours, but sit on some bed that costs as much as a car and... wow, all the hospital machines have better noises now that i remember hospital machines, pulse oximeter et al, being, like only a hair above PC speaker in terms of sound design. but sometime in the last few years that changed, and now this is... lovely. like, eno-grade lovely. and i was thinking that this was exactly what raymond scott was trying to do with, like... musical ashtrays. that we live in a cocoon of sound and let's introduce some design here if i'd written it sooner, i could remember them all, darn it. but the only one i have clearly is a ...BoopBoop... and it's a squarewave, PWM, and the ... ... on either end is the pulsewidth moving through the tempo of the BoopBoop in a very pleasing proportion. and it's a lush squarewave too, they've done some organ harmonics etc and whoever did that deserves a medal because that was so much more lovely to be stuck with for three hours than... how it was before |
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the PWM from the opening of super mario 2. but drop an octave and/or swap some of the high-end overtones for warm lo-mid |
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