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offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-10 19:30 [#02624057]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



I have nothing against The Gays but the likelihood of me
licking a man's bum hole is zero.

Sorry if that lets anyone down.


 

offline RussellDust on 2023-01-10 21:26 [#02624058]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02624057



You would! I’m sure I could think of the right
circumstance and (famous) person. Like a dare, or « as a
joke », maybe to « see what it’s like ».


 

offline RussellDust on 2023-01-10 21:28 [#02624059]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular



Imagine an end of day lump of jacked off jizz! I wonder if
it would move a bit…


 

offline RussellDust on 2023-01-10 21:30 [#02624060]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular



That is the jizz excreted that day in the whole world. Only
counting wanks (bad sperm).


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-11 03:34 [#02624062]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



You fucking.... Mexican!


 

offline -crazone from smashing acid over and over on 2023-01-11 06:24 [#02624063]
Points: 11234 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



Zwenģggggĝ


 

offline mermaidman on 2023-01-11 12:31 [#02624065]
Points: 8308 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02624057



maybe a whiff??


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-11 14:01 [#02624067]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular



Turkish delight


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-11 16:08 [#02624068]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



I've just been violently ill.

Everywhere.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-11 16:50 [#02624069]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



If it sounds like Gescom then it probably is.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-11 17:19 [#02624071]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



Snoopy. Snoop Dogg. Snow Princess. Snope from those shit
Star Wars films. Snow Patrol. Or white Canadian rapper
Snow.

Do you see where I'm going with this?


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-14 20:33 [#02624179]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular



I'm painfully aware of your genitals


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-15 09:58 [#02624194]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



It's OK not to always be happy.

It's OK to be afraid.

It's OK to not feel in control.

It's OK to be abused.

It's OK to be physically assaulted.

It's OK to have your liberty taken away.

It's OK not to be OK. OK?



 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-15 11:32 [#02624198]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



I bet you can't even say Jungle Bunny these days without
some Gen Z militant leaping on you *smh*


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-15 11:40 [#02624201]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



Alright, so I had an affair with Wolf Bkitzer. I've got over
it, my partner's got over it, Wolf's got over it. So why
can't you?


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-15 20:59 [#02624216]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



I have nothing against The Gays but the likelihood of me
licking a man's bum hole is zero.


that's not what i said. interesting that's where your mind
went


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-16 15:24 [#02624232]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



Well, if you're going to have gay sex then presumably you're
going to lick their arsehole. Can someone back me up on
this? Ideally a gay.


 

offline RussellDust on 2023-01-16 15:56 [#02624237]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02624232



I’m not an authority but I expect it’s like with
heterosexuals or other types: some like it some don’t.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-16 16:21 [#02624241]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



I feel like farting on somebody's knee


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-16 16:28 [#02624243]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular



Why is the halal economy booming?


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-16 17:15 [#02624244]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker | Followup to RussellDust: #02624237



I think your use of a colon was a dog whistle.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-16 18:05 [#02624245]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02624232



Well, if you're going to have gay sex then presumably
you're going to lick their arsehole. Can someone back me up
on this? Ideally a gay.


that russell is effectively correct:

I’m not an authority but I expect it’s like with
heterosexuals or other types: some like it some
don’t.


that even amongst heterosexuals, i would add, there is a
dichotomy: few dislike it outright, but there's a sharp
divide between who wants the tongue going past the seal, and
who doesn't. i actually don't. i'm too uptight to enjoy
things going that far up my bum. even though i do sort of
wish i weren't. but i did have a boyfriend where, like, we'd
wake up, and he'd be like "can you please sit on my face"
and for all your sexual adventures you've never had this?

really, though, just thinking: a few beers and 30mg of
adderall and roger wilco would totally do some guy up the
ass in a closet, because, well, it's still an ass, and oh
this ass looks rather good actually. just a general
extension of his appetites; arguably not even gay. just, oh,
hell, let's have a fuck

but if he's asking such ignorant questions about rimming,
well, i guess i gave him too much credit


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-16 20:23 [#02624250]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular



[Morgan Freeman voice] you ask me if I eat ass, sonny. Let
me tell you, sonny, I've done 40 years in this house of
corrections, 35 of them with a daisy chain of hardcore
prison dick right up my bitch ass. You better believe I eat
ass, sonny, and I damned well made myself learn to like it.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-16 22:26 [#02624256]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



prison jokes, right. it's kind of funny because [morgan
freeman voice] but i'd argue that no one eats ass in prison,
generally. it's a bunch of horny straight men and they're
not going to ask for that. or so i imagine. i really don't
know if that's as widespread as joked about anyways.

people have told me incredibly contrived jokes like this and
i'm not really laughing and they're all "if you're gay i
don't mean any offense" and then i'll say "well i like women
too" and, then -- the definitive moment -- the guy says, "i
have lots of gay friends"

"i have lots of gay friends" is basically a polite way of
saying "i am a homophobic dick, not in a lynch fags way, but
in an immature high school way, and when i say 'i have a
lots of gay friends' i mean 'i am going to go off to others
as soon as i'm out of earshot and be all DID YOU KNOW HE'S
GAY?'" and they miss the part where i'm all "effing heck, no
one gets up on a mountain and declares `i'm straight.`
should i put `i'm bisexual` on my business card? if so, why
don't you put "STRAIGHT" on your resume? THAT THIS IS
ANNOYING you asked i told"

i think, actually, what i'm missing is this: the problem is
that the joke simply wasn't funny. i wasn't offended. then
you thought i was, and it all went off into that predictable
avulsion. but, no, i was just flat because that was a
dumb-ass joke. and instead of saying, "well yeah but what
the fuck ever" i should just sidestep that and say: no, your
joke just sucked

tony: your joke just sucked.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-16 23:04 [#02624259]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



poor lad. let me show you. here, i'll take the tangent you
were trying for, and glue it into a liberal joke

communal rimming is traditional in certain parts of
vermont



 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-17 00:37 [#02624267]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular



[Morgan Freeman voice] Morgan Freeman ate ass to prepare for
his role. Or so I imagine.


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-17 01:38 [#02624270]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular



In all honesty, I believe a man or a woman may eat a woman's
ass as long as she has good hygiene and is not harbouring
urgent fudge.

But neither man nor woman may eat of the man's ass. Thus
saith The LORD.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-17 08:37 [#02624276]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



The Lord put hair on Man's bumhole for a reason: to serve as
a warning.


 

offline mermaidman on 2023-01-17 11:28 [#02624278]
Points: 8308 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02624276



BUT women have hairy bumholes too


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-17 11:42 [#02624279]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker | Followup to mermaidman: #02624278



*Chuckles* Actual women don't.


 

offline mermaidman on 2023-01-18 08:27 [#02624300]
Points: 8308 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02624279



:O


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-18 09:01 [#02624311]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



Q: why did god give us nipple hair? it is horrible. it is
unforgivable
A: to keep from chafing thine nipples


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-18 09:02 [#02624312]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



don't ever image search "jogger's nipple"

(unless you want to say: "yep, i did this to myself")


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-18 09:06 [#02624313]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



someone i knew since school back whentransgender and
alright, what? that actually some very honest discussions.
that she compensated for not really, like... getting how to
be male... by massively overdoing it; too aggro. going
overseas and getting shot at. and maybe roger wilco is just
so loudly, crisply heterosexual... no, not that. he's just
insecure and it's compulsive


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-18 13:27 [#02624318]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular



You're listening to NPR.

Coming up, a tiny desk concert with Trust Fund Polycule.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-19 11:13 [#02624340]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



The Metropolitan Sex Tourist's Guide to Mozambique.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-19 11:39 [#02624341]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



Power On and Connect


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-19 12:07 [#02624343]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



Start your adventure. In Addis Ababa.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-19 12:11 [#02624344]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



Now playing: Biosphere.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-19 12:12 [#02624345]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



He gives off real "Sleeps in his car" energy


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-19 12:21 [#02624346]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



Actual Pitchfork headline: "Cole Pulice’s Ambient
Saxophone Multiverse"


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-19 12:56 [#02624347]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



Multi-Bum Behaviour


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-19 13:01 [#02624348]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02624346



oh no, oh lord

it was worth googling that for the picture of cole pulice


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-19 13:06 [#02624350]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tony Danza: #02624348



I am sorry. I had to see it and I think it's only fair that
you do too.


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2023-01-19 16:02 [#02624351]
Points: 3647 Status: Regular



In the old days we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and The
Police.

Now we have no jobs, no cash and Cole Pulice.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2023-01-20 15:29 [#02624385]
Points: 1998 Status: Lurker



It sounds too crazy to be true but Ringo Starr's name isn't
Ringo Starr.

It's actually something else, I don't remember the details.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-26 08:51 [#02624623]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



studies have indicated, for example, that male younger
siblings in larger families are statistically likely to be
gay may younger siblings. following up on this, science
discovered that -- kind of unnerving, actually -- that the
testosterone involved in being pregnant with a boy can, in a
woman, something something, and there's a sort of increasing
reaction with further boys borne.

that, oh... maybe... the first-born is earmarked for king;
the spare is optionally gay? and with each further spare;
potentially more gay? margay? in any case, i feel this makes
statistical sense: if the selective pressure is the monarchy
shit; let the rest be satisfied up the bum and run the
infrastructure or something.

(richard james starkey)


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-26 08:58 [#02624626]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



that's the hardware part. software? imprinting

that this is one of those, just... god bless science
moments

that konrad lorenz discovered that newly-hatched ducks would
"imprint" on whatever they saw after birth, and he had what
was arguably so much fun with it to the point that it
marginally blurred ethics like the legitimacy of a duck
fucking a ping-pong ball

that, the newly-hatched ducks would imprint on whatever they
saw after birth, be it a ping-pong ball, a cigarette
lighter, or even konrad lorenz himself. there are photos of
the ducks following him around like mama, along with less
animate objects. when they came of age, the ducks would then
attempt to mate with... the ping pong balls... or the
cigarette lighter... or... well, konrad had to fend off some
amorous ducks to be sure

and to me this very deftly explains many things,
particularly the diversity of kink. it's actually more rare
for someone to not have something. but it can be boring,
too, no worries, like chicks in champion sweatshirts just
feels comfy


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-26 09:00 [#02624627]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



the next step from here is the catholic church very crudely
trying to automap everyone's fetishes to their desired knobs
like tony danza crafting a reaktor plugin


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2023-01-26 09:06 [#02624628]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



mermaidtran (n): imprinted on drama


 


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