 |
|
You are not logged in! F.A.Q Log in Register |
 |
|
 |
 (nobody)...and 138 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
 |
Members 8025Messages 2613391 Today 5 Topics 127499 |
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i am finishing a half a zig [slap me if i don't finish quitting this week] and reaching a usual sewer grate for disposal thereof, and, out of the corner of my eye, i spot a... bmw 5? in one of the paint colors you have to pay extra for? anyways, he's driving incredibly fast and cutting way too close to the curb. i could have poked his passenger window, like, boop! if i'd wanted to, with really no risk and not more than a little timing required. instead, i gauge my moment; my throw, and yes... as he whooshes by, i'm able to use the downforce of his nibs' luxury whip to zuck a cigarette butt down a sewer grate. most use he'll be to anyone all week |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
frozen tanzenite blue metallic |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i am at the liquor store 10am sunday, shortly after opening, because i am out of ziggurauts. i've bunged the pack into me backpack and now i'm outside the store and the zipper is stuck in the fabric and i can't open it back up to extract a zig. i'm cussing and fiddling then i hear: bam! i look over and some lady has just given the beastly traffic pillar in front of her parking spot a love tap with her license plate. the two are currently still in physical warping coitus when i look up to see what the noise was. i look away to be polite, but also to finish fussing with my zipper, because i really want a zig. then when i look up she's leading a 3-4yo girl with her into the liquor store, and i'm squinting, was she distracted looking at me, or is she still plastered from last night? the world will never know. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
rest assured, she just bought the booze for the kid. fake ids are tough at that age. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
why would she be distracted looking at you are you brad pitt?? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
a house a little down the street is getting new siding put on. i hear ladders slamming; it's 4:30 and they're knocking off for the day. then i hear some angry horn blasts, and i promptly run to the window, because this sounds entertaining. i am not wrong: despite what i missed, it was two solid minutes of Everything Just Went Wrong and it rippling around. One guy is halfway turned around as other guy is backing out of the driveway, and they get kind of wedged, perpendicular to the direction of the street, blocking traffic both ways. a car approaches and begins flashing its lights. they are all: ohh uhh ummm uhhh and promptly get in the way of another guy trying to back out and they're all bouncing off each other like rubber balls like that, for, yeah, two minutes solid you have to think quick if you want to catch these: them packing up, oh whatever, but the horn -- this has all the right elements, now; hurry... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
walking down the sidewalk, mostly wearing black -- but varying contrasting layers of black, black finger gloves, black hood over my head, black boots. then also walking down the sidewalk, the other way, a young couple. they are both wearing... light pink tops. i think: what sort of guy wears that color? then i laughed, like, they must think the same of me. as we approach to pass, he literally hides behind his girlfriend. like, using her as a shield, as if he were a nervous kitten. truly bizarre. maybe he's famous or something. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
it rained a bunch recently and now it's still kind of pissing rain. there are giant pools of water in the street. i'm really just out for a zig and a stretch; no rush. if i'm gurning on the cardio i'd just sprint past these stretches; that i quite enjoy trying to nail the timing. lawn sprinklers too; same feel but no, right now, i see a Proper Hoser of a puddle, a car coming, a car behind it, so i just step into a driveway and way. the first car passes me. hello. then... a third car awkwardly lumbers out of a side-street, forcing the second car i marked to wait to pass to slam on the brakes. then they are seemingly going slow because they are looking at me -- mermaidman -- i am wearing my wizard hoodie, but it's cold and windy and pissing rain and it's really nothing remarkable. they are just staring at me because they missed me pulling over from my walk to wait, and why am i standing there? meanwhile, the person behind them is already quite mad, and, well, i can't say for certain, but it did seem like they deliberately nailed the puddle, even, though i was out of range. out of spite. like, how dare you slow me down even more. but, ironically, absolutely justifying why i stepped aside to wait like i did. it's like everyone on the planet has turned into larry ellison. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i am standing on my porch just enjoying the cold morning air and a blue jay lands on a branch about six feet away from me and makes its blue jay yell. a little bird-sized puff of steam comes out of the little bugger as it does. cold enough to see your breath |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
the woman is compulsively pinching every. single. loaf. of. french. bread. one by one. i'm compulsive myself about some things -- rabidly so -- but this is not one of them. she can pinch a loaf three times, and i'll still buy it, so long as it's not stale. however, this seems to be an involved process, so i leisurely loop around an aisle. linger. wait. i think: she was already pinching them when i was there before; and i've now waited long enough for to pinch every single loaf on top of that. too bad; that's my patience -- i'm going in sure enough, she is still there, pinching the loafs, over and over. i stroll right up -- to a distance that was quite acceptable to a neurotic person before covid -- and sure enough, she immediately flees. i pinch the first loaf i lay eyes on. seems good. sold then i realize she actually didn't buy any of the breads. she just pinched them all for a few minutes and ran when someone approached. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
the african man. i keep walking. his cloying cologne... colgooggkhg... adam driver? anyways, i am able to follow it like a donnie darko trail from the train station to the orthodox church and it stops there. i have never tracked people by scent before, and now that i've done on accident i'm keen to try it again sometime. now i'm waiting so there's long enough after the last scheduled train so i can walk a loop and he will have been garbage collected or something and no sir i have no money to give you. poor bastard. he'll be shunted on a train to a homeless shelter in boston and etc |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i'm such a boob. sorry bank manager man. verizon has un-double-billed me but there is this overdraft fee on my account still? halp? and this happen because my ATM card and i have it here, it's new and in the mail after 5-7 Business Days and now i can't remember the pin. ok pick a new one. try it? this is awkward. there is a man of mixed ethnicity trapped in the atm kiosk for the next, oh... however long he can get out of it a babushka tumbles out from back. it has to go upstairs. to get the overdraft blammed. you know |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
epic are you a sovereign citizen |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
|
Messageboard index
|
|||||||||
