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Weird families
 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 11:41 [#00191940]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



I work with this really weird woman. Her son is 18 and at
this present moment she is discussing with her husband the
fact that he is not there for dinner but is going. Out she's
warned him that he must have his homework done. HE'S 18!!!

She was balling the other week because his headmaster had
phoned because he had a bad report from school. HE'S 18!!! I
assumed that he was 12 or 13. Freaks!


 

offline Bob Mcbob on 2002-04-24 11:44 [#00191944]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular



for a second there i misread and though u meant her husband
was 18 too....hers is a fairly normal situation round here
unfortunatelly


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-24 11:45 [#00191946]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



when i was 12 and 13, my mum had nothing to do with my hw
even if i got a bad report...


 

offline lctroboy from BorÃ¥s (Sweden) on 2002-04-24 11:45 [#00191947]
Points: 1705 Status: Regular



Poor kid. He's one of those who'll probably go berzerk with
a shotgun some day.


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 11:46 [#00191948]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



Overbearing parents should be shot.

'Your mum and dad; they fuck you up. They don't mean to, but
they do'.

Philip Larkin


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 11:48 [#00191952]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



well yeah, but parenting doesnt come with a guide book etc,
to be overprotective is better than neglect-i guess its just
finding a good balance between the two. i know what you mean
though-some parenting techniques are fucking bizarre


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-24 11:50 [#00191957]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular | Followup to KEN: #00191952



like when they go nuts over a lil incident involving
cannabis! i mean what the fuck is up with that?!!!


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 11:51 [#00191959]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



I shouldn't be so judgemental; they don't judge me.

Still, they are a bit weird. The reason he was neglecting
his studies was because he was playing in his bridge
club/orchestra too much. Hmmm.


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 11:54 [#00191963]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



I guess I've been spoilt with my parents. They let me smoke
my crack pipe in my bedroom and my dad used to give me a cut
of his profits from pimping out my sister. He's a generous
bloke my dad.


 

offline lctroboy from BorÃ¥s (Sweden) on 2002-04-24 11:56 [#00191964]
Points: 1705 Status: Regular



lol


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 11:56 [#00191967]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



well that IS fucked up

i mean if the guys was fucking about and not giving a shit,
then her response is valid. but busting the kids balls when
he's doing something that is academically linked well thats
different. man-that guy should be out getting laid and
aprtying...

she sounds like bonkers-mum alright...

and she calls it homework!!!!? what is he doing, resits or
a levels?


 

offline Fernz from A Scottish Wanker (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 11:57 [#00191970]
Points: 1692 Status: Regular



My mom tries to tell me what to do and shit, but she forgets
that Im 20 in 3 weeks.... :)


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 11:58 [#00191972]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



my dad help me find a decent enough vein in my eyeball when
im too stoned to shoot-up... he golden my old pa..


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 12:05 [#00191979]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



He's doing his A level. I have the sneaking suspicion he
goes to public school. He must be a crazy bastard though;
all night bridge sessions and blowing his trumpet all night
- keeeraazzy!

My dad does piss me off sometimes. He's always trying to
steal my methadone and sometimes sends strange men into my
room.


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-24 12:06 [#00191980]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



i can't wait to live alone so i can do all sorts of illigale
things in the living room and have parties every week and
have RDJ playing at full volume all day long, except when
the saucy womens come around, then i'll put on slightly less
fucked up music


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 12:17 [#00191986]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



bridge? i mean, each to their own, but BRIDGE? 18 year old
dont play bridge unless they're related to he monarchy,
presidents or politicians, surely!!

it was so funny the other day-my mum has hay-fever and she
blew her nose and the inside of it just came out. we had to
laugh, as she claimed she'd kicked her coke habit the
previous week. oh it was funny.


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 12:23 [#00191989]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



I'm baffled too. Bridge is for old people. He must be a
total Billy-no-mates. Though surprisingly he has a
girlfriend. She must look like an 18 year old Anne
Widdecombe.

My dad and uncle have been trying to bully me into illegal
stuff since the weekend. They want me to help them rob this
87 year old couple down the road. I told them no, and that
I'd already robbed them to pay for a rock. I pretty much
left em for dead.


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-24 12:26 [#00191990]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular | Followup to jonesy: #00191989



lol i wish my dad pimped-out my sister and gave me a cut of
the profits and robbed old ppl like Jonesy's cool dad...


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 12:30 [#00191993]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



or clare rayner?

we had to laugh again the other day-my dad had OD'ed again
by the fire, but we were so cooked and bombed off some top
quality dope that my three year old sister got us from her
school that we couldnt be arsed to call for help. we just
laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.



 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 12:36 [#00191996]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



Its my little cousins 7th birthday this weekend. it should
be a good 'un. Before Xmas it was my other cousin's 6th
birthday party and it was fuckin' crazy. Dad spiked the
jelly with acid and all my little cousins were tripping out,
crying to my aunties that they could see monsters and
insects crawling all over them. Mum started fellating my
uncle Geoff in the corner and my dad got in a fight with
him. My uncle went to A & E with half a whisky glass in his
cheek. Crazy times.


 

offline Salma Hayek on 2002-04-24 12:40 [#00192000]
Points: 1056 Status: Regular



is this a true story?


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 12:42 [#00192003]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



LOL!!!



 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 12:52 [#00192013]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



i had a dream last night-being serious for a second- that
one of my friends was being jerked off on a balcony in a pub
by two girls, and when he came he shot his load over the
balcony and onto john thomas's face (the bloke from the fast
show and cold feet),who was sat below drinking lager-he
looked really pissed off. it's kinda freaked me out a bit.


 

offline Quernstone from Padova (Italy) on 2002-04-24 12:52 [#00192014]
Points: 1826 Status: Regular



Fuck lol. PMP (pissing my pants)



 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 12:53 [#00192015]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



i guess ive just killed this thread with that last one.
sorry.


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 12:53 [#00192016]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



Be really honest: did you wake with a hard-on, lazy or
otherwise?


 

offline haukur from Frankfurt (Germany) on 2002-04-24 12:55 [#00192018]
Points: 313 Status: Regular



/me licks his lipps


 

offline Quernstone from Padova (Italy) on 2002-04-24 12:56 [#00192020]
Points: 1826 Status: Regular



Have either of you two been to see 'Y tu mama tambien' at
the cinema? I don't go that often but this film is class. I
recomend it. It is mexican with subtitles which caused me a
porblem as I can't read. But you two clever chaps should be
OK.


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 12:57 [#00192023]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



no not at all-the funny thing was that the 'friend' wasnt
anyone i really know-he sorta looked like uri geller
(y'know, the bender). i remember waking up and going back to
sleep, but i have trouble remembering dreams so the imagery
here has only really dawned on me in the last hour.... it
has genuinely weirded me out a bit...


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 12:58 [#00192025]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



Is that 'Your Mother Too'? Its here next month and is
supposed to be good.


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 13:00 [#00192028]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



never heard of it. i went to see k-pak the other day, i must
admit, despite all of the negative reviews i really really
enjoyed it. i love kevin spacey though.


 

offline Quernstone from Padova (Italy) on 2002-04-24 13:04 [#00192034]
Points: 1826 Status: Regular



There is plenty of gratuitous whacking off. That is what
triggered my memory. Apart from that (which is quite funny
in context) it is a quality flick.


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 13:10 [#00192047]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



flick as in 'flicking one over your wrist'??

talking of league of gentlemen quotes-i bought the live
league of gents video for a tenner yesterday from virgin
intheir sale. not watched it yet though. ten pounds though?
17.99 in HMV!! the robbing cunts.


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 13:11 [#00192051]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



I didn't like the second series. Benjarmin!


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 13:13 [#00192056]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



i agree- the second series lacked something-it just wasnt as
funny as the first. my favourite still has to be the lague
of gents christmas special-that was fucking superb....'come
here boy...and take hold of these monkey pods'...


 

offline roygbivcore from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2002-04-24 13:14 [#00192060]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker



last night i told my mom that if she was a guy, she'd be
gay.


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 13:16 [#00192063]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



does that mean shes a lesbo?


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-24 13:20 [#00192068]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



Dieter, you saved my life.


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 13:23 [#00192073]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



'into which, we don't pass solids'

(ps jonesy cheers for the email!!!)


 

offline Fernz from A Scottish Wanker (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 14:22 [#00192166]
Points: 1692 Status: Regular | Followup to KEN: #00192063



pmp



 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 14:24 [#00192171]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



bedwetter, eh?


 

offline B3n from Manchester (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-24 17:58 [#00192556]
Points: 4700 Status: Lurker | Followup to jonesy: #00192068



Well my mother works with someone who has a daughter. A week
or so ago she was saying 'yeah, but I don't want to leave
her [the girl] on her own'

This girl is 17....and she's not allowed to be at home on
her own? Mind you, she is a sheltered poiled rich daddies
girl

I don't mean that harshly, but SHE IS


 

offline jonesy from Lisboa (Portugal) on 2002-04-25 14:47 [#00193663]
Points: 6650 Status: Lurker



That woman I work with says 'Hello Sailor' when answering
her mobile when her husband rings. Uergh!


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-25 14:50 [#00193667]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



haha!!

i used to work with someone who consistently said 'yeah but
its all good' or 'oh its funny'

WHATS GOOD? WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT ? WHATS FUNNY??
EEEUUURRRGH IF YOUVE NOTHING TO SAY THEN DONT FILL THAT
VACUMMN WITH POINTLESS IRRITATING SHITE!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!

*cool wet grass ken*


 

offline Fernz from A Scottish Wanker (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-25 15:07 [#00193682]
Points: 1692 Status: Regular



Thats a Baron Von Picklefoot-like reply there. :)


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-25 15:19 [#00193695]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



whose baron pickle foot???


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-04-25 15:22 [#00193696]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to KEN: #00193695



isn't that the guy who ends his posts with THE BARON HAS
SPOKEN?


 

offline Fernz from A Scottish Wanker (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-25 15:23 [#00193697]
Points: 1692 Status: Regular



Yep. I miss em.


 

offline Meho Krljic from Beograd (Yugoslavia) on 2002-04-25 15:28 [#00193702]
Points: 6617 Status: Addict | Followup to Fernz: #00193697



well, what happened to him?


 

offline KEN from BIRMINGHAM (United Kingdom) on 2002-04-25 15:29 [#00193705]
Points: 1844 Status: Regular



oh yeah....whos that tart in your picture meho? (fuck its
not mrs meho is it??)


 


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