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here is my new pet peeve: people with badly-calibrated motion-sensor lites when properly employed, the motion-sensor lite is a solid piece of house-hold equipment, terrifying skunks and discouraging cat-burglars. however, people around here have some really darn obnoxious ones. one around the corner with a ginourmous halogen floodlight you can see -- i noticed one day -- from three blocks away. what a dick! so i try to walk away from it. fully on the other side of the street, not only not on his property, but across the street. the light goes off. i notice the house across the street from this one has one as well. i notice i am also unable to avoid triggering it. weeks, i watch, and i see cars trigger them. or apparently nothing at all. what jerks tonight, tho, the one that takes the cake. i am walking on the street, as it's icy and the road is less dangerous than the sidewalk. this house, i can never figure it out. the light is often on as i approach, even goes off right after i pass. or off, then on again. i can't figure it out i'm around the corner of the house from the light, no line of clear sight, and i realize: they have an external sensor on the front of the house, triggering the light on the sight of the house, that can be triggered by a guy walking not only not on the sidewalk, but the street. and cars. and an ant farting it annoyed me, but after noticing that, well... i'm even more annoyed. annoyed! darn it |
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...but across the street. the light goes off. and by that i mean it caught me trying to sneak by on the far side of the street and made me visible from space. |
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i feel you. gf´s former flat is flash flooding the neighbourhood yard with a timer until 1 am. so every time we went to bed it was so bright you had to close curtains to barely shut an eye. we slept in the 4th! floor mind you. one day when someone left that house i asked if they could mabe find another way for whatever it is they think they´re achieving by this kind of insane light pollution. (i actually asked very politely) when i asked if they would just consider installing a motion sensor then, he said that it would go off when there is no intruder at all and we all know what happens then. panic. PANIC! >>><<>>>> |
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love strolling in the dark too btw. it´s pure bliss. while sadly you barely see the stars in my town mostly because we have 260 days of rain a year so cloudy smog feels almost like a daily given, but i really would love to see the city put up motion sensors and cleverly angled soft light for traffic and safety. luckily it´s always mostly dark by the river. |
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imagine if a pet peeve was an actual pet |
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Another point for the "EpicMegatrax is a rapist murderer" crowd? A lot of people sweating the odds in Vegas right now.. |
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next pet peeves car alarms footprint forensics pedestrian witnesses belts (too restrictive) the advent of DNA testing |
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no, here's the next one: the internet fucking sucks now. i used to be able to google quotes, now i just get news articles about facebook metaverse and shit -- because, like, i was trying to find the very beautiful neal stephenson passage [from cryptonomicon] about car alarms in manilla setting each other off in an unending cascading feedback loop. something like, "...one of those snowballing post-technological fuck-ups..." they never particularly bothered me, myself. but then, i never lived in dense city areas... i've heard people at wit's end from car alarms all night outside their shit NYC apt |
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Emergent Feminisms: Complicating a Postfeminist Media Culture i hate google so much. and i'm starting to dislike feminists too |
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when i asked if they would just consider installing a motion sensor then, he said that it would go off when there is no intruder at all and we all know what happens then. panic. PANIC! [lots of bitwise operators] ok? ok?! can we all agree how infuriating it is when people are unflinchingly committed to utterly absurd logic, and then get annoyed when you bring the matter up in casual discussion? ...like, not even pressing? can you imagine how he'd be if you'd put up a fuss. he'd think you were such a moron. you're nuts. what are you thinking?! a motion-sensor lite? why don't i just get vaccinated too a previous rant thred was the absurd nonsensical decisions of people alternately crossing the street six times or trying to run me off the sidewalk with a baby carriage. and i'll step aside if i can but if it's between your child being exposed to my [covid-negative] body odor vs. being hit by a car, i obviously choose the former. and once you do this to me a few times, why yes, i have begun to delight in your karen rage i'll be over in a corner screaming, "logic?! logic? anyone? does anyone see that i'm a strange nutter and y'all have become worse than me over the last year or two?" |
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The whole city is a cauldron of internal combustion. Manila seems to have more pistons and exhaust pipes than the rest of the world combined. Even at two in the morning the hotel’s seemingly unshakable mass hums and rattles from the seismic energy pouring from all of those motors. The noise detonates car alarms down in the hotel’s lot. The noise of one alarm triggers others, and so on. It is not the noise that keeps Randy awake so much as the insane stupidity of this chain reaction. It is an object lesson: the kind of nightmarish, snowballing technological fuck-up that keeps hackers awake at night even when they can’t hear the results. - Cryptonomicon (Neal Stephenson) |
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3rd link down when I googled neal stephenson quote car alarm. |
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love strolling in the dark too btw. it´s pure bliss. while sadly you barely see the stars in my town mostly because we have 260 days of rain a year so cloudy smog feels almost like a daily given, but i really would love to see the city put up motion sensors and cleverly angled soft light for traffic and safety. luckily it´s always mostly dark by the river. a few months back, i was having a zig on the bridge over the trax, looking at the sky. i'm thinking: ok, that's a helicopter hovering over the highway, likely a cop traffic helicopter. ok, that's a medivac helicopter heading over to, probably, the hospital i was born in. but what the fuck is that? and that? are those fucking drones? is that a satellite? and this actually upset me quite much. the sky is full of surveillance machinery now. i can't even tell it apart from the stars i prefer strolling in daytime, really. i don't even care for the dark itself; just deep night, when i can finally walk and not be bothered by anyone it's not hate for the peeps. it's like the tron reboot movie, with jeff bridges chewing out shea daboof: you're fucking with my harmony, man |
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beautiful quote innit. was, like, sixteen when i read it, and i just kind of knew immediately that, like, that's one of those also don't miss the ramble within the same novel about the packing efficiency of captain crunch cereal -- which i've cited in my bullshit thred |
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I've only read snow crash, but I love his subtle snark. It seems like you got a lot of thoughts bouncing around in that noggin of yours. Have you ever tried psilocybin? Taken in the right setting it kinda shuts all that off for a few hours, rewired all your inputs and plays a more mellow, earthy tune. |
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when i walk into a bar, i can generally presume i've tried more than everyone there put together |
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not specifically psilocybin, tho. it's a bit too pushy unless you need some psychotherapy sometimes |
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It certainly is pushy. If you've been lazy about anything important it lets you know. Weed does too though, way more aggressively. Psilocybin (for me) is just like "come on bro you got this." Then it fades and I get lazy again. If you get tired of your street wizard over analysis of motion sensor lights and stroller karens though, it really should quell the momentum there. |
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no it's more shit like: oh wow my first grade teacher was mildly emotionally abusive, i haven't ever even processed this as an adult, nothing too horrible she was just a mean cunt and it left an impression, then you think ~ what did someone do to her to make her that mean? and have a cry for her too, after yourself, and then something you didn't even know was broken, is fixed trying to quell over-analysis, not really, too busy cupping my balls and letting the pen move by itself over the paper |
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i mean, i guess. to get back to the stroller karens... there's a difference between having a healing cry for someone who hurt you, because they were clearly hurt themselves.... and spoiled people using covid to be bullies. kids as an excuse; old as the hills that. we have to backdoor all encryption on the internet because what about the children i do like children, but this is about where i start quoting george carlin simply to watch people turn purple. |
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there's a motion-censor lite out back of me house; properly calibrated. my landlords run a tight ship. you can't get into my backdoor without setting off not only my lite, but theirs. however... if you live there.. if you practice... if you have good timing; sense of physical presence.... the turning on of my lite momentarily blinds their lite; think of a TV show when a flashbang grenade temporarily blinds the surveillance camera and the picture gradually fades back into focus. that's what my lite does to their lite's censor; flashbangs it. i'd peg it at a hair under two seconds, but not all of the available time is equal. you can be running full tilt the first second and it'd miss you, but past that, diminishing. last half a second, it'll get you unless you're slow as glass. i know where the cenzor zone is; corner by my stairs. ages of trial and error, honed down a routine: approach my lite's trigger slowly, so i don't waste any of the window. then, once it hits, jump up most the stairs at once. then do an almost mime thing and slow down as the cenzor is regaining its marbles by then i can nail it like 3/4 of the time, at this point, after months of living here. i'm not even sure most people could manage that, let alone bother to study it so thoroughly. so i can get through, essentially, but no one else. now that's what i call calibration (tm) |
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upon further reflection, mushroom reaction to the Bully Stroller Karens would likely be hilarious laughter. you can't get covid like that. your delusions are strange and quaint. all these people and their pretensions! cracks me the fuck up. why does anyone wear clothes anyways. who are they kidding or maybe that was acid. i always preferred acid |
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I actually prefer it as well. Turns me into some elf grinning like the RDJ album cover, and everyone else just seems so full of shit about everything. It can be pushy as well though when it comes to your own business. Well anyway no need to find that moment of tranquility really, if the pace of your thoughts isn't bothering you. Seemed like you were getting a touch frustrated with that simple google search and small human interactions though ;p But nothing wrong with that, Larry David made a brilliant career out similar neurosis. All in all I'm most curious about your mid post shift from the correct "censor," to the oddly futuristic sounding "cenzor." |
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i took 4 hits and everything looked like a van gogh painting... but, moving, a van gogh movie. i put on sony mdr-v6 with original 4G click-wheel ipod (20gb) and went out onto the porch balcony. i put on "4" and on 4 hits watched the snow swirl around in van gogh movies as i listened. top ten experience |
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there's "set and setting" but i'd like to propose some more thorough safety backstop rules 1. set and setting 2. if it's "not doing anything" don't redose until next day at least 3. treat combinations with the utmost caution. in fact, give a few days in between different fings |
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4. no high dose shit |
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for real, the people that don't come back, they took 15 hits at once or something insane. slow down, let that shit breathe |
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are you sure the headphones were sony mdr-v6 though? |
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acid will make you jump down the toilet if you don't respect it. no regrets tho |
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certain. i still have them |
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despite what acid would seem to think, that is physically impossible, and i've never worried about it. |
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oh fuck yeah I've had this one for a few years, finally i think they go rid of it, was like living in stalag 17 having a search light shone on your face every 15 mins when your trying to sleep |
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motion sensors triggering when there's no one there trigger me too. I had an idea to end that technology for ever, but I dont know enough programming to materialize it :( |
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most remote-controlled garage doors have a little code you set with dip-switches, so your remote doesn't open your neighbor's garage, should you have compatible brands. from there it's clearly possible to build a little circuit to step through every one of the codes one by one, and then go atop a hill with a massive transmitter and open everyone's garage doors at once for miles. no such hack exists for motion sensors. best you could do is probably set up some infrared laser not visible to humans, but visible to the sensor, to turn it on over and over and over until the light's proprietors figure it's broke and shut it off |
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the physical and psychological landscape of censor to wit, there's a new one that appeared. walking the other night, one's newly nestled right next to the white picket fence. it's clearly new. i stop and inspect it. some little LED job, jabbed into the lawn. probably a self-contained solar job. i still need to have a look at it in daytime tonight, though, someone else got one. shit, i thot. shit. someone else saw the new lite and said, "hey, that's nice and irritating, i think i could use me one of those," and then there are two. next, more people will become aware this product exists, and from there it will follow the dynamics of an invasive species if i were still in my early 20's and drinking heavily, a whole load of these might go mysteriously missing one night |
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a third one just appeared at a house nearby; didn't even take 24 hours! i mean, i enjoy figuring stuff out. observing and dredging up latent patterns; then using that as leverage to hack them. fuck, that's what i get paid for. it's the reason i'm not going mental in a dustbin like poor wMw likely is; it's actually a marketable skill. but now i'm approaching middle-age and it's become this terrifying machine that takes apart absolutely any system i encounter like a wood-chipper. so, yes, there's a distant, nostalgic part of me that is deeply chuffed i've called this pattern so correctly, right when it actually seems to be starting to matter. but then there's also the feeling of knowing a trainwreck is imminent and i'm developing some fucking cassandra syndrome here |
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continuing on the tip, a fourth has appeared. this time, within visual range of my house. can you take a regular red laser and run it through the IR plastic transparent lid stolen from a VCR remote and get IR laser? physics, i am less good i do know cameras can see IR, as can the motion sensors. could be risky; don't want a crisp video frame of a laser from my window to the motion sensor across the street. i have some dream of a firmly-mounted, aimed system that lets me poke a web API to turn on their stupid fucking LED jerk lamp from my phone, whenever the mood hits. but, realistically, i will be chuffed if i can trigger it from my house, across the street, in a way not visible to the human eye. but again, physics, not my thing. i do have multiple scavenged laser diodes tho |
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no, no. too impatient. what i should do is order one myself and mess with it before trying lasers out the window (as well as resist the urge to just yank the one out of the lawn down the street and smugly tell myself it's faster than amazon could ship it). it's actually good i have a job, because otherwise i'd spend a lot of time on this |
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If you get tired of your street wizard over analysis of motion sensor lights and stroller karens though ...then there is so, so much else to over-analyze. today, out for a wok, nice sunday, kinda busy out. i see two women approach. even here, i have just cause for over-analysis: one acquires certain archetypes with life experience, and these chicks are... well, fat, but also the sort of fat chicks that are walking pitbulls and a little loud and rude and generally from a blue-collar background. generic terms like "hosebeast" cover it, but i was trying to come up with something more specific; less derogatory. ah well one is on the sidewalk with huge dog and other is in the street with huge dog. i look around. there are cars going by. there are multiple people walking at different speeds on the other side of the street. after thinking a moment it dawns on me that, to optimally solve this scenario, you would need differential equations then i had a giggle and decided it was simply too hard. let's just keep walking and see how it goes. sidewalk hosebeast clearly expected me to get the fuck out of her way. she seemed furious when i did not, and there seemed to be some sort of indignant hnrnrnr being said but i had hedfones on and tragically i could not hear any of it. |
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this is all helping me quit zigs, i have to say. |
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oh, heck, i missed the aftermath. the bit where, like... they have a little bonus bit of the movie after the credits a few minutes later i'd looped around a few blocks and i see Them off in the distance. Two Other People approach them at an intersection, and... are cut off, ignored. Two Other People politely wait for Them to walk by; casually start walking behind Them. but the whole party is right into a giant hill and They are not moving up terribly quickly. Two Other People start gesturing, talking. i am way too far to hear anything, but it's clear the sort of things being said: "oh, come on. for real?" "what the hell" and after a bit of this gesticulation while being stuck behind Them for a bit Two Other People cross back to the other side of the street again, defeated i think: that makes me feel a bit better; it's clear no one else likes Them either |
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