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gender-neutral parenting
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-28 01:10 [#02606341]
Points: 16196 Status: Lurker



My husband and I have a frequent disagreement on our
3-year-old and her love for dresses and all things pink! For
the first two years of her life, she was constantly mistaken
for a boy because she wore gender-neutral clothes. We direct
her towards books and other media that do not represent
traditional gender roles (no sparkle princesses!). We ask
friends and family to refrain from commenting on her
appearance and clothing, if they can help it, and to instead
focus on skills or interests. However, our daughter adores
the color pink, insists on wearing dresses, and is currently
obsessed with accessories. I am fine with this, though I
hope it will be a phase.


LAZY_TITLE

i pity this poor child


 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-09-28 08:30 [#02606347]
Points: 5578 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



me and my gf discuss this sometimes mostly when our toenails
cringe seeing our 3 year old nice painting her face with
make-up on christmas and owning and wearing nothing but
glittery elsa brand stuff. literally.
her elder brother gets all kinds of fighting games and toys.

all very very traditional and gender specific and we hate
the fighting stuff and girly stuff well almost to equal
amounts. and we perceive the gender specific gifting quite
suspectfully.

the answer to the question of the other parents explains how
not the colour but the perception of it and the resulting
treatment wearing it is the problem. now that is so very
true, but as long as the childrens progammes, movies and
culture portray pink as girly (and leading to a damsel in
distress, not complete without a husband caring financially)
and i dont see that coming to a stop, i share the same fear
as those parents do :(

the writer furthermore says clothing your kid neutrally may
actually mean clothing it more like boys. saturday we
watched disneys Merida. perfect example how the problem also
lies in our cultural heritage. she is forced to be married
to a prince so there would be no war. put in to the fancy
dress that she can barely move or breathe in. now my gf is a
tailor and she actually makes these kind of dresses, wedding
dresses and medieval clothing and these fancy dresses or
wedding dresses were not made for doing anything else than
allowing the wearer to do anything but have a drink and
maybe a laugh. they can hardly go to the loo without help,
many have problems even taking a seat.
the movie portrayed this absolutely correctly. merida
tearing her dress to shoot in an arching contest displays it
furthermore:
her determination to choose her own fate goes along with not
wearing a fancy dress. she could have made that decision
wearing whatever she wants, but when the movie was made the
audience was expected to want this. see how we kind of are
trapped in this?


 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-09-28 08:33 [#02606348]
Points: 5578 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



now, dresses for children of course are usually meant to be
able to play and move in them. my point is the perception
still isnt where it should be.

i absolutely understand if nobody reads that too damn long
post.


 

offline Tony Danza from why so cow, man? on 2020-09-28 14:11 [#02606351]
Points: 2789 Status: Regular



It seems like only yesterday we were celebrating Roger
Wilco's gender reveal...

They grow up so fast!


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-09-28 15:22 [#02606352]
Points: 1247 Status: Lurker | Followup to ijonspeches: #02606347



"we watched disneys Merida. perfect example how the
problem also lies in our cultural heritage. she is forced to
be married..."


Sorry, whose culture?


 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2020-09-28 16:37 [#02606354]
Points: 4955 Status: Lurker



Some people are born with both bits. Or a fanny and balls
etc. I don't wish these people ill at all. But the whole
WATMM thing is lame. Choose from one of 18 genders. Fuck
that, it's silly billy stuff.


 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2020-09-28 16:37 [#02606355]
Points: 4955 Status: Lurker



I still don't understand two spirit and why it's such a big
deal


 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-09-29 07:50 [#02606362]
Points: 5578 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



why you certainly can overthink it too much


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-30 06:59 [#02606422]
Points: 16196 Status: Lurker | Followup to umbroman3: #02606354



how about harvey weinberg


 


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