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jesus5000
on 2020-09-13 12:27 [#02605977]
Points: 71 Status: Lurker
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Bless the poor
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welt
on 2020-09-13 12:29 [#02605978]
Points: 2036 Status: Lurker
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אמן
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jesus5000
on 2020-09-13 12:38 [#02605979]
Points: 71 Status: Lurker | Followup to welt: #02605978
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Amen brother welt
I am Jesus
Did you know vaginas can be fucked by a penis? That's how they make babies. Women love sex because they are whores. The sperm goes in the vagina to make the baby. Women love big black cocks.
I am Jesus 5000
Amen
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 12:41 [#02605980]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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hi w M w :D
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mermaidman
on 2020-09-13 12:45 [#02605981]
Points: 8299 Status: Regular | Followup to jesus5000: #02605979
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jesus5000 what happens when a penis fucks the anus?
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jesus5000
on 2020-09-13 12:52 [#02605983]
Points: 71 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02605980
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Mohamed, the prophet of falsity and deception. Please cure yourself of your sins by playing Xbox at least once a day
Mermaid man, I am Jesus (5000). I have been fucked in the butt many times. 5000 times in fact. Sadly no babies were made except for the little brown ones I dropped off at the pool
Jesus has a message for you all. You can fuck your own hand or the arse of a donkey so enjoy your self.
I am Jesus
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jesus5000
on 2020-09-13 12:54 [#02605984]
Points: 71 Status: Lurker
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Make sure to rub your butt on a camel or horse Camels are the sexiest animal to watch fuck each other Animal sex is so coooooool I am Jesus Christ 5000
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 13:42 [#02605988]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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I have a question, is it kosher to fart on the Koran, and possibly follow through
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Tony Danza
from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-09-13 14:54 [#02605989]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker
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Jesus 5000, are you going to stop Bill Gates from microchipping the vaccines?
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 19:08 [#02605991]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02605988 | Show recordbag
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when I've been in Palestine I sat on a concrete block with a Mecca stencil on it.. it was one of the roadblocks the Israeli army used, and I was told that sitting there was an offence but didn't care
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 20:45 [#02605993]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02605991
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you're lucky you weren't sniped, the security forces over there don't seem to need much of an invitation to kill someone, then think of a reason to justify it later, bit like American police really.
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 20:47 [#02605994]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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actually it was an offence for the Palestinians
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 20:49 [#02605995]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02605994
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oh yeah, in that case your lucky you weren't stoned to death!
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 20:49 [#02605996]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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seriously though Jerusalem looks like a very interesting place to go, id like to walk along those ancient cobbled streets
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 20:51 [#02605997]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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i did that in Hebron, I saw Jerusalem only briefly
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 20:59 [#02605998]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02605997
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looks brilliant, looking at the pictures imagining the sights and smells
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 21:05 [#02605999]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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its good if you loved assassin's creed
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 21:55 [#02606000]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02605999
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yeah i liked the first couple
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 21:55 [#02606001]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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scanning the monuments and walking around gently pushing people aside
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2020-09-14 10:47 [#02606006]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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I have the first installed on my mac along with that other shit game, tomb raider for mac
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-09-14 14:43 [#02606008]
Points: 7838 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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is jesus5000 digital or do i have to use one of those old fashioned devices?
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-17 01:41 [#02606050]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02605996
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seriously though Jerusalem looks like a very interesting place to go, id like to walk along those ancient cobbled streets
i've been there. business trip, israel for 3+ weeks, i nip off for the weekend on some tour bus for jerusalem and all that. on the via dolorosa, there is literally a dude screaming moneychanging, moneychanging, turn ur dollars into shekel 4 a fee. i resist the urge to ask the man if he knows about jesus upturning the moneychangers' carts and causing a fracas
was quite a good tour, though, the wall you shove wishes into, the men with machine guns telling the tour bus "uhhh no you can't use this street today"
then we got to bethlehem. man, what a dump. no wonder jesus made a name for himself, coming from this shithole would naturally drive a man to make something of himself so he ain't stuck there
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-17 01:43 [#02606051]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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heal the sick fuck the silk
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-17 03:02 [#02606052]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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so, yes, the back of my brain has just vomited a metaphor: bethlehem was like tatooine, but with lots of garbage in the street instead of aliens and hovercraft
maybe they've cleaned it up in the years since i've been there, but i kind of doubt it. also, the people at the church of the nativity are complete cunts
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-17 03:07 [#02606053]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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yes, demand i take off my shoes and cover my hed, i have to borrow some fellow tourist lady's scarf and yeah let's share my sweaty socks with everyone else on the floor. i have no idea what we're even here for, i have already gotten severe sunburn from jerusalem in august. they lead us down to the basement of the stupid crappy pretentious church and we wait in line for ages. what am i even going to see? finally, it is my turn, and it's just, like, a hole in the floor. i'm really not sure what the fuck i'm supposed to do. so i kneel down, peer into the hole, like, a respectful few seconds, then move along. later, i read i'm apparently supposed to shove something into the hole for a while to bless it or something. i preferred the wishing wall, at least that had a sort of charming childish wish upon a shooting star sort of feel
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