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Heal the sick
 

offline jesus5000 on 2020-09-13 12:27 [#02605977]
Points: 66 Status: Lurker



Bless the poor



 

offline welt on 2020-09-13 12:29 [#02605978]
Points: 2019 Status: Regular



אמן


 

offline jesus5000 on 2020-09-13 12:38 [#02605979]
Points: 66 Status: Lurker | Followup to welt: #02605978



Amen brother welt

I am Jesus

Did you know vaginas can be fucked by a penis? That's how
they make babies. Women love sex because they are whores.
The sperm goes in the vagina to make the baby. Women love
big black cocks.

I am Jesus 5000

Amen


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 12:41 [#02605980]
Points: 30692 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



hi w M w :D


 

offline mermaidman on 2020-09-13 12:45 [#02605981]
Points: 6208 Status: Addict | Followup to jesus5000: #02605979



jesus5000 what happens when a penis fucks the anus?


 

offline jesus5000 on 2020-09-13 12:52 [#02605983]
Points: 66 Status: Lurker | Followup to mohamed: #02605980



Mohamed, the prophet of falsity and deception. Please cure
yourself of your sins by playing Xbox at least once a day

Mermaid man, I am Jesus (5000). I have been fucked in the
butt many times. 5000 times in fact. Sadly no babies were
made except for the little brown ones I dropped off at the
pool

Jesus has a message for you all. You can fuck your own hand
or the arse of a donkey so enjoy your self.

I am Jesus


 

offline jesus5000 on 2020-09-13 12:54 [#02605984]
Points: 66 Status: Lurker



Make sure to rub your butt on a camel or horse
Camels are the sexiest animal to watch fuck each other
Animal sex is so coooooool
I am Jesus Christ 5000


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 13:42 [#02605988]
Points: 27829 Status: Regular



I have a question, is it kosher to fart on the Koran, and
possibly follow through


 

offline Tony Danza from why so cow, man? on 2020-09-13 14:54 [#02605989]
Points: 2737 Status: Regular



Jesus 5000, are you going to stop Bill Gates from
microchipping the vaccines?


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 19:08 [#02605991]
Points: 30692 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02605988 | Show recordbag



when I've been in Palestine I sat on a concrete block with a
Mecca stencil on it.. it was one of the roadblocks the
Israeli army used, and I was told that sitting there was an
offence but didn't care


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 20:45 [#02605993]
Points: 27829 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02605991



you're lucky you weren't sniped, the security forces over
there don't seem to need much of an invitation to kill
someone, then think of a reason to justify it later, bit
like American police really.


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 20:47 [#02605994]
Points: 30692 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



actually it was an offence for the Palestinians


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 20:49 [#02605995]
Points: 27829 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02605994



oh yeah, in that case your lucky you weren't stoned to
death!


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 20:49 [#02605996]
Points: 27829 Status: Regular



seriously though Jerusalem looks like a very interesting
place to go, id like to walk along those ancient cobbled
streets


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 20:51 [#02605997]
Points: 30692 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



i did that in Hebron, I saw Jerusalem only briefly


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 20:59 [#02605998]
Points: 27829 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02605997



looks brilliant, looking at the pictures imagining the
sights and smells


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-09-13 21:05 [#02605999]
Points: 30692 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



its good if you loved assassin's creed


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 21:55 [#02606000]
Points: 27829 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02605999



yeah i liked the first couple


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-09-13 21:55 [#02606001]
Points: 27829 Status: Regular



scanning the monuments and walking around gently pushing
people aside


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-09-14 10:47 [#02606006]
Points: 30692 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



I have the first installed on my mac along with that other
shit game, tomb raider for mac


 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-09-14 14:43 [#02606008]
Points: 5532 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



is jesus5000 digital or do i have to use one of those old
fashioned devices?


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-17 01:41 [#02606050]
Points: 16072 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02605996



seriously though Jerusalem looks like a very interesting
place to go, id like to walk along those ancient cobbled
streets


i've been there. business trip, israel for 3+ weeks, i nip
off for the weekend on some tour bus for jerusalem and all
that. on the via dolorosa, there is literally a dude
screaming moneychanging, moneychanging, turn ur dollars into
shekel 4 a fee. i resist the urge to ask the man if he knows
about jesus upturning the moneychangers' carts and causing a
fracas

was quite a good tour, though, the wall you shove wishes
into, the men with machine guns telling the tour bus "uhhh
no you can't use this street today"

then we got to bethlehem. man, what a dump. no wonder jesus
made a name for himself, coming from this shithole would
naturally drive a man to make something of himself so he
ain't stuck there


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-17 01:43 [#02606051]
Points: 16072 Status: Regular



heal the sick
fuck the silk


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-17 03:02 [#02606052]
Points: 16072 Status: Regular



so, yes, the back of my brain has just vomited a metaphor:
bethlehem was like tatooine, but with lots of garbage in the
street instead of aliens and hovercraft

maybe they've cleaned it up in the years since i've been
there, but i kind of doubt it. also, the people at the
church of the nativity are complete cunts


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-09-17 03:07 [#02606053]
Points: 16072 Status: Regular



yes, demand i take off my shoes and cover my hed, i have to
borrow some fellow tourist lady's scarf and yeah let's share
my sweaty socks with everyone else on the floor. i have no
idea what we're even here for, i have already gotten severe
sunburn from jerusalem in august. they lead us down to the
basement of the stupid crappy pretentious church and we wait
in line for ages. what am i even going to see? finally, it
is my turn, and it's just, like, a hole in the floor. i'm
really not sure what the fuck i'm supposed to do. so i kneel
down, peer into the hole, like, a respectful few seconds,
then move along. later, i read i'm apparently supposed to
shove something into the hole for a while to bless it or
something. i preferred the wishing wall, at least that had a
sort of charming childish wish upon a shooting star sort of
feel


 


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