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Karen
 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-04-23 00:40 [#02600500]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker



it takes Karen to get me to side with the cops


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-23 01:04 [#02600502]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



reddit comports itself with such class


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-23 01:12 [#02600503]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



i'd like to speak to reddit's manager, immediately


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-04-23 01:24 [#02600504]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02600503



I'm sorry ma'am that's unconstitutional


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-23 01:26 [#02600505]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



ok, this is brilliant


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-23 01:29 [#02600506]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



sgt. fsck's loudly karen club banned


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-23 01:33 [#02600507]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



also amazed at how much patience the cops display. i'm not
sure i'd have that level of resolve in their shoes


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-23 02:08 [#02600509]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



tony,
in your ideal robot future,
what would become of mitch mcconnell?


 

offline RussellDust on 2020-04-23 19:05 [#02600539]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker



I’m full of hatred today. This hasn’t helped.


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-04-23 19:40 [#02600541]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



i dont know what the thread is about but i have an unusual
level of endorphine in my blood today



 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-23 23:30 [#02600568]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02600541



karen


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-04-24 14:16 [#02600593]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02600509



All of us including Mitch McConnell will have the time and
freedom to flourish and grow as social human beings to the
limits of our innate capacities. Or the lawnmower man will
hack his tiny turtle brain and make blood pour out all his
exit wounds. hard to say really


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-24 23:30 [#02600602]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02600593



LAZY_TITLE


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2020-04-25 14:07 [#02600645]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tony Danza: #02600593



imagine Mitch McConnell in alien, the facehugger wouldn't be
able to fit round his chin, it would have to lay an egg in
his bottom


 

offline RussellDust on 2020-04-25 15:11 [#02600651]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tony Danza: #02600593



You don’t write anymore you bastard!


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-04-26 00:29 [#02600701]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



legitimate karen experience just now, despite social
distancing. i pull into the drive-thru, and there's just one
person there, already ordering. a white, house-sized chevy
tahoe. i wait. i am listening to Hashim - Al Naafiysh (The
Soul) and i am cool with waiting.

after a while, however, i notice it's been a while. are they
jammed up or something? i look, and she's actually
still ordering. all i see is a disembodied alabaster
karen had doing all sorts of geometric hand-talking
gestures. please imagine it, because, i assure you -- it
looked it exactly like you imagine. i actually went to grab
my phone and record a bit, but it was too late. pulled ahead
to the window, after a good five minutes, to see she'd
ordered over $50 of shit

go figure, it took over ten minutes for them to get her
order together, and by that time, the line was so long no
one else could pull into the parking lot to wait. i finally
pull ahead to the window, and give the guy my card

"don't worry, i got you bro," he says. he's handing me the
bag before even running my card. "maaaan" he says, tilting
his head towards the exiting karen

for some reason this sends me into a fit of giggles


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2020-04-26 12:09 [#02600717]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



In the interest of healthy relations between the sexes, I
feel compelled to share the following story illustrating
that men (although I use the term lightly in this instance)
can be Karens too.

When I was a younger man and more willing to engage in
violence with strangers over small matters, I was in a
cinema multiplex. At the ice cream counter, there are two
people in front of me. The prick at the front insists on
trying seemingly every kind of ice cream out of the sixty or
so varieties on offer. The server's expression could not
more clearly convey, "Trying ice cream is so parents don't
waste a whole cone that their kid won't eat, or for people
who really need a tie breaker to decide between A and B. Not
for cocksuckers like you to eat half their bodyweight in
samples, free of charge", but above this, like a flimsy
mask, he wears the paper-thin veneer of a smile and keeps
serving him, the exemplar of professionalism. I infer from
the atmosphere that this fiasco has already been ongoing for
at least a minute, prior to my arrival.

Six ice cream samples later and having made a few polite
coughs to remind him that, "Hello dipshit, other people
exist and are waiting on you", Guy #2 in the queue has
finally had enough and asks, "Excuse me, would you mind just
choosing one, only there is a queue of people behind you [by
this stage, queue is about ten deep] and my film is about to
start?"

Rather than being shamed into making a snap purchase, Guy #1
replies, in an "I know my rights" tone, "Well, I
might, if I find one I like, but I might just
try some more..." and turns back to the counter, before
pondering aloud in a theatrically drawn-out way, "Hmm, shall
I try the raspberry ripple, or hazelnut next?" Guy #2 shakes
his head, looks at his watch and mutters, "I just wish you'd
hurry up".


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2020-04-26 12:10 [#02600718]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



At this point, I lean forwards and in a stage whisper, say
to guy #2 over his shoulder, "Don't worry mate, he'll make
his decision in the next 30 seconds; otherwise his head will
be bouncing off that counter." The following things all
happen in perfect unison:

- Guy #2 turns around absolutely delighted, beaming and
giggling like a happy infant.
- Server looks heavenward, making no attempt to stifle belly
laughing and is so delighted that he drops the scoop of
whatever icecream he is currently digging out, to put his
hands together in a "Thank you Lord!" gesture.
- Guy #1 takes a sharp intake of breath, as he whips round
180 degrees, no doubt to declare me rude, or that he won't
be intimidated. He opens his mouth, about to speak, as he
looks me in the eye. Deep inside Guy #1, some atavistic
survival instinct claws its way to the surface, rampaging
upwards through the forest of consequenceless rudeness,
grown of a cossetted existence spanning decades. You can
literally see the split second it dawns on him this isn't
bravado, or empty threat on my part. You can practically
hear the gears click in his mind, in that exact moment of
cognition: "Either I buy something now and walk away, or my
skull will be broken against the marble countertop."

He turns back round, orders two scoops of raspberry ripple,
instanter. Server having regained his composure, asks,
completely deadpan, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to try
Hazelnut first, Sir?" Guy number 2 starts pissing himself
laughing and is bent double. Inwardly, I'm crying with
laughter, but outwardly, I'm staring into the back of guy
#1's head like an absolute psychopath, hoping that Rupert
Sheldrake is correct about telepathy in prey animals. Guy #1
declines and walks away with the raspberry ripple, utterly
dejected and looking like he's going to sob. His evening and
possibly lifelong sense of self-worth, ripped to tatters.

My civic-mindedness got me a fudge finger on the house
(usual value 25p) in my coffee and mint choc chip cone.


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-04-26 15:07 [#02600723]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to Ceri JC: #02600718



That's pretty good but a true Karen - and I agree that it
transcends sex - is utterly unreachable, incapable of self
recognition, introspection and understanding social cues.
This guy still had the capacity for shame.

A true male Karen is Donald Trump, someone who's been
coddled his entire life, is utterly unreachable, has no
capacity for self recognition or reflection, will never
accept blame, can only point fingers... did you ever see
that video of the last hours and minutes of the Ceaucescus?
Paradigmatic Karens, unreachable, absolutely self assured of
their righteousness even in the last seconds when the
bullets entered their bodies.


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-04-26 15:13 [#02600724]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to Tony Danza: #02600723



Or Hillary for that matter, who's spent every single second
since November 2016 blaming her loss on everyone but
herself. She even has the official haircut.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2020-04-26 15:17 [#02600725]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular



....

I'm just hoping there's a silent cadre that recognise posts
#02600717 and #02600718 as being beyond parody.


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-04-26 15:24 [#02600726]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02600725



it reminds me of your posts about wanting to commit office
homicide because you heard someone chewing


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2020-04-26 16:17 [#02600739]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to Tony Danza: #02600726 | Show recordbag



Antisocial noises are a special one. Most people are only
angered by the noises themselves as a secondary factor. The
primary source of rage engendered by them is due to the lack
of consideration given to others, by engaging in them. This
is usually misinterpreted, as a lack of respect by the
offended party, as opposed to just, "Some people are
inconsiderate morons; they're not trying to upset
you..."


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-04-26 17:19 [#02600741]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to Ceri JC: #02600739



Antisocial Noises?

Please report all Violators to Scarfolk Council. Our number
one priority is keeping chewing noises at bay. For more
information, please re-read.


 

offline Ceri JC from Jefferson City (United States) on 2020-04-30 21:41 [#02600994]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to Tony Danza: #02600741 | Show recordbag



Antisocial Noises have all but stopped since the Council Owl
arrived on the scene.


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2020-05-01 00:28 [#02600996]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular



'im gonna bounce this guys head'

everyone was laughing. everyone stopped what they were doing
and just laughed (they dropped the things they were holding
cos what i said was pretty funny). and the guy eating all
the ice cream turned around like he was going to confront me
but he actually didnt even confront me because he looked at
me and he was scared. in an atavistic way.
he must have realized that i will beat him up and walked
away completely shattered. needless to say i got my fudge
finger that night


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-05-01 01:04 [#02600999]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02600996



Laughing On Line


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-05-26 07:20 [#02602134]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



112% karen

poor dog.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-05-26 07:33 [#02602135]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



deep dive

The video also shows Amy Cooper’s dog appearing to
choke and struggle against his collar while Cooper made a
911 call. No one was arrested and it is not clear if police
are planning to investigate the incident further. Amy Cooper
apologized in a statement to NBC New York, saying she
overreacted, but felt threatened.

Christian Cooper, 57, is a former Marvel Comics editor and
writer who now works as the senior biomedical editor at
Health Science Communications. Christian Cooper is a birder
and says he often watches birds in Central Park, which is
what he said he was doing before the Memorial Day encounter
with the other Cooper. The video’s spread was helped by a
tweet by his sister, Melody, a science fiction and horror
writer who has worked at CW and HBO.


so odd they all have the same last name.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-05-26 07:48 [#02602138]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



fortune 500 error

she's deleted her social media accounts
she was pressured into giving up the dog

it's sort of like jeffrey dahmer getting beat to death in
jail and his mother says, "Now is everybody happy? Now that
he's bludgeoned to death, is that good enough for
everyone?"

being a decent human is tough, these days


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-05-26 13:30 [#02602151]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker



> he often watches birds in Central Park, which is what he
said he was doing before the Memorial Day encounter with the
other Cooper

a likely story. #metoo #believewomen


 

offline dariusgriffin from cool on 2020-05-26 17:57 [#02602156]
Points: 12390 Status: Regular



In the interest of healthy relations between the sexes, I
feel compelled to share the following story illustrating
that men (although I use the term lightly in this instance)
can be Karens too.


 

offline dariusgriffin from cool on 2020-05-26 18:09 [#02602157]
Points: 12390 Status: Regular



It was a beautiful ceremony but a terrible reception. And I
was stuck at the worst table in the room, sitting across
from the worst couple in the world. A real match made in
Hell. They were in the middle of some sort of fight. She was
mad at him. Really mad. Furious actually. But he didn’t
know why. Poor guy kept sheepishly asking her what was
wrong. Eventually she told him. Apparently she was mad at
him because he’d said something horribly hurtful the night
before. At dinner.

He stared at her with the doe eyes of an innocent man. He
really didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about.
Seriously, if you looked up “WTF?” in the dictionary,
there’d be a picture of this dude’s face. Didn’t last
though. Second or two later, color in the dude’s face went
from Scared-Rabbit White to Righteously-Indignant Red.
Faster than you can say Johnnie Cochran. Guy was so mad he
was shaking. Could barely speak. He reminded her that he was
on a plane last night. That they didn’t talk last night.
That he’d been back home for a funeral. His
grandmother’s funeral.

Took awhile, but eventually she realized that she wasn’t
remembering something that actually happened, something he
actually said; she was remembering something he’d said to
her last night in a dream. Did she apologize? Nope. She
doubled down. Said the dream spoke to a deeper truth about
their relationship even if it wasn’t factually true.

—John Faithful Hamer, Love is Not a Liquid Asset
(2020)


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2020-05-26 18:23 [#02602158]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker | Followup to dariusgriffin: #02602157



Women! 🤷‍♂️

Hey that's a Montreal area professor. I found his twitter
and he seems to like Jonathan Haidt which is not so cool.


 


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