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 (nobody)...and 124 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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all of the HR top brass are women, and as a male, i feel my gender is under-represented. they keep adding yoga and external (female!) consultants to my calendar it has to stop |
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whats wrong about yoga? |
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oh, nothing, i do yoga just somewhere between amused and annoyed with all the "share you morning routine! tune in for zoom yoga!" lol, but also, fuck off |
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yoga is an anagram for "o gay" |
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break up the yoga mafia, distribute them as wifes to thirsty menfolk |
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when the people who are in charge of policing stereotypes are all exactly like their stereotypes and the paradox makes your frontal lobe ragequit; post sarcastic crap on the internet |
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it's fine, really, it's fine. just after approximately thirty seven calendar invites i'm starting to want to be at least a little sarcastic |
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as stereotypical HR folks, they are extroverts; probably going extra nuts at home, alone. i suspect this is actually what's behind the sudden, manic surge in calendar invites. poor gals are bored. but it makes my google calendar much harder to read |
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the school i went to dragged everyone off to some rented summer camp for a weekend every year for enforced teambuilding exercises like orienteering, obstacle courses, and enduring lectures about nature. the proprietor drove around in a golf cart, and looked exactly like the daft old man from jurassic park. sounded the same, too anyways, one of my classmates was on the fat side of the spectrum, and quietly decided that the obstacle course he was being subjected to could go to hell. he didn't cause any problems, he just went off to the side; sat quietly on a tree stump. eventually, the perky female taskmaster noticed him sitting out: oh, c'mon, get up, you can do it! grudgingly, he does. eventually, groups rotate, and he's with some athletic bro counselor at a different obstacle cluster. he promptly pulls the same maneuver: bleeds off to the side, and sits quietly. athletic bro either does not notice, or does not care. eventually, the first counselor spots him sitting out, and this time, she is less perky. a little bit mad. sensing weakness, my classmate strikes: "oh, [other counselor] said i could sit here," he lies. "ARE YOU LYING TO ME?" she demands "yes!" he replies, grinning with a smothering level of smugness at that point, she got frothing mad, and it was beautiful. |
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Buzzfeed: 6 Times Fat Men Went Beast Mode On Camp Counselors |
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he didn't go beast mode at all he trolled the counselor into going beast mode |
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guy did that all the time in school, too -- he'd tell incredibly stupid, obvious lies, because he knew some uptight teacher would call his bluff. then, he's supposed to be a stupid high school prick, dig himself into a deeper hole... but, no, he'd just proudly announce that, yes, he was lying, and at that point there would be screaming and he'd be sent to the office. he had a talent for it; i'm not sure i could have pulled it off quite so flawlessly. he also wound up being a nutty, pathological liar of an adult, so i guess it was a trade-off but, at times, i miss having him around to blow things up like that. |
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HR Departments - Because where else are these people going to get a job? |
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Ohhh... HR. My mind blipped over that detail. Now the comment about policing stereotypes makes sense. |
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i was feeling like a pariah until multiple people spoke up about it at a meeting and the bossman essentially says "cool it, guys, you're all nerds and you know how to work from home, that crap is for everyone else who's totally clueless" (lol) |
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reminds me of the old SNL sketch where the teleprompter breaks down and the morning show hosts descend into savagery |
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notions make this country happen. vote weaselpedia |
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Spoken like a true 5D chess grandmaster |
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good sketch, i like it wish they'd had a bit more dialogue after the teleprompter returned |
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so to summarize: Yoga Nazism: centralized, vertically hierarchical, authoritarian, hypersocial; participants unable to self-direct; shocking obeisance to parasocial telescreen. Nerdism: decentralized, horizontal, anarchic, socially autonomous and self directed. Good boys whomst've earned their tendies. |
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(just for reference that's only 15% ironic, mostly the part about tendies) |
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executives talking about their favorite pellotron or pellitun (or whatever it is) instructors in an attempt to seem like normal people pellicun slackout bork |
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it's actually quite fascinating, now that we're getting into it earlier this week, there was some company update livestreamed from the executive home offices to all the drones at home. as HR has been pushing this "share your morning routine," the top brass all dutifully go around and say something about their morning routine. it was show-and-tell, kinda, executive style. here's my coffee mug, and i do pilates. here's this weird beverage with a long description epicmegatrax won't remember, and that's his time slot; not sure he does pilates. striking, actually, was how some of them were clearly more into it than others, and how into it they were directly correlated with their jobs. the guy speaking for engingeering was like, "uhhh i should probably do something like that, like yoga, because i haven't been moving around as much lately" and of course the people in marketing are talking about their favorite pelobike instructors really, you have different sorts of people, and different sorts of people are good at different jobs. i forget who said this, it was some CEO sort giving advice about hiring, is that you give people personality tests, you need certain types in certain jobs and that's just how it is i suppose i should find this rigid and confining, but it is actually oddly comforting. i am a specialized bee and i understand my role in the hive |
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what do you actually do mate? how many of you guys are computer programmers? |
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written about my last job, but it's still accurate enough |
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specialized people come together to create a multicellular organization |
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cos you know so much about computers, u should write a software to make yourself rich man, youre a genius :-) |
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no, the obvious path to riches would be to study these multicelluar organizations. learn how to engineer my own |
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like be a manager? |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHZl2naX1Xk |
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they're called leaders now, thankyouverymuch |
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yes, architect, you read my mind |
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if you look up how valve software is organized, you'll find they're a rather unique organismigation |
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how hard would it be to make a music tracker for the sega genesis/mega drive? i know there's deflemask but that is run on pc. it would be far more fun to run the software off an everdrive using the gamepad. someone tried before but they gave up, guess it's a monster project. i bet it would make a buncha money though if they marketed it in the right way. |
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my mate said half life 3 is coming |
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just use renoise and some vst that emulates the chip ? |
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they released it already, half life xlyyllaltylalexa |
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another idea was to upgrade nitrotracker for the ds it's a 16 channel .xm file tracker originally the programmer wanted to add gameboy support and support for .mod files so you could edit amiga music on there or how about porting a tracker to 3ds and using the inbuilt DSP for fx and synthesis on the subject of trackers there's an amazing one for atari falcon called ace tracker, you can run samples or synth tracks using the falcon's dsp chip. shame the falcon costs like £1500-£2000 nowadays and sell out fast, wish id bought one years ago now, makes me think the amiga 1200 will go up a lot in future. |
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i know theres a vr headset version of half life called alyx, apparently if you complete it it tells you there's a proper half life 3 in the works. |
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aphex went on about that in some dim pub somewhere and now atari falcon, blahhh, they use that DSP in other synths that are at least ok! have yet to hear a compelling reason as to why it's significantly better than something like cubase on an atari st i've wanted to try cubase on an atari st for ages. it'd be like witnessing the big bang. but, also, probably, slow, unreliable, limited in memory, and as such, i've not much interest in acquiring all that then you're talking about £2000, you could get a car for that. or a monitor stand from apple |
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yeah the atari falcon would have been cool but the price is extortionate for what it is, a computer with not much interesting software for it. it was ahead of its time. there's a good tracker and someone made a vocoder for it,it's basically a korg ms2000 with a tracker style sequencer. there's an emulator called hatari that can run ace tracker, it works on my mate's pc, but he has a 4ghz something pc. my 2.4ghz quad core amd runs it but it glitches because my cpu is too slow. "or a monitor stand from apple" ahaha |
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where can i download this tracker how can i tell you if it's mustard if i haven't tried it, obvs |
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when half life came out my pc couldnt handle it properly. had to run certain segments with a shrunk screen, you could shrink the screen to like tv resolution. still played it though and enjoyed. half life 2 i couldnt be bothered with until about 3 years ago when i bought the xbox original version for a couple of quid on musicmagpie. it looks good on the xbox version, played it on easy, kept dying a lot because no mouse and keyboard. got to check youtube for vids everytime i got stuck. i think theres a part with a helicopter and i wasnt sure if i could kill it or if it was invincible |
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http://newbeat.atari.org/main.php?page=ace_specifications there are two versions, one has a tracker, and the other lets you control via midi it runs on the hatari emulator, actually i think they used devpac assembler and hatari to program it. but it does work on original hardware. Motorola 68030 @ 16 MHz Motorola 56001 @ 32 MHz i seem to remember the emulator being annoying to set up because you need to set the hard drive to a folder on your pc and there are multiple options. and you need to manually save your settings before turning the emulator off. |
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alright, alright, just to be clear we're talking about the £2000 atari falcon 030 (monitor stand not included) and wiki says this means we're really talking about the motorola 56k DSP chip, according to wikipedia, which, really, is just a general-purpose DSP and any character coming it out of it is mostly due to the programming put into it, with a solid shout-out to how its architecture forced whoever was programming it to think. so saying that it was a good computer, with not much software for it, is like saying "you could make something nice if you just went ahead and made something nice." i think the answer is, you like ace tracker, and you want it out of this falcon 030 emulation hell |
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https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ace+tracker++f alcon samples tracks here on youtube the tracks are pretty good imo if you get the tracker working make sure to download the synth patches, they have some great drum sounds synthesised |
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sure daft punk kinda chiptuney but yeah, did you have to edit everything in those two tiny thumbnails? |
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i don't know a thing about DSP programming, sadly. just vague concepts |
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yeah i might get ace tracker when i get a new laptop which will be like 5 years from now lol |
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the choice for me is, get an atari falcon for £2000 or buy a £2000 laptop. so wait 5 years it is. my laptop sucks, i bought it from cex for £400 or so because it was quad core i thought it would be faster but software still prefers single clock speed to be fast. an expensive mistake. |
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