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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 02:09 [#02583721]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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a man in a silver volkswagen whips out; i am forced to jam on the brakes. i tailgate a bit to express my discontent. alright, good enough. i start to back off
but he's already furious with me. he slows down. he brake-checks me (jams on the brakes in an attempt to rattle me). i am not furious. i am not in a rush. i am, however, amused, and continue to troll him by tailgating closely. he drives at a crawl. he break checks repeatedly. waits until after slamming on the brakes to turn on his blinker. eventually, we wind up next to each other at a traffic light.
i look over. he's looking at me. sdfhjgjdhfghjdfg he yells. i stick my thumbs in my ears, closed my eyes, stick out my tounge. instead of giving the finger, i am being silly. most people laugh, at this point, because it's clear i'm not taking it personal.
then he dredges up the best insult he can muster: are you a virgin?
i literally crack up. most people just call me a faggot, a fucking fucker, but this guy specifically went for virgin. i can only surmise that virginity, or lack thereof, is extremely important to this man -- perhaps it's even a touchy subject
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Tony Danza
from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2019-08-20 02:18 [#02583723]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker
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wow that guys crazy whereas all the actions you perform in this anecdote are reasonable and good
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 02:26 [#02583725]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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is that sarcasm
i can totally be an asshole if i'm late for an appointment... but, going for an 8pm drive simply to smoke a cigarette, it so does not matter
i have to admit a certain delighted anticipation as i pulled up next to him at the light. i didn't know what i was going to get, but i knew it would be something
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 02:44 [#02583726]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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perhaps he's on 4chan right now slagging off the bitches that rejected him at the bar he was tearing out of without looking. it is a singularly terrible bar. the last time i was there, i ordered whiskey, and the guy next to me was all, "bulleit bourbon? that's good stuff, i have a friend who drinks that" before getting up for his turn to torture the whole place with his take on kareoke. bulleit bourbin is very squarely garden-variety low-mid shelf and the idea that his friend drank it and this would be the basis for a fulfilling conversation made me want to finish my drink and leave. it's a bit too blue-collar for me, and the only reason to go there is it's the only place in town open until 1am. otherwise, there are a half a dozen bars in town that aren't frequented by dumbshit plumbers. i usually have work and it's only the very occasional saturday night and i wind up there. that he was pulling out at 8pm on a monday night speaks volumes
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wavephace
from off the chain on 2019-08-20 03:04 [#02583728]
Points: 3098 Status: Lurker
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What can you expect, VW's roots lie in National Socialism (literally)
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 03:14 [#02583729]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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they cheat on their emissions because they have no one else to cheat on, clearly
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 03:16 [#02583730]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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there is another volkswagen i walk by to/from work sometimes, parked on the street. the license plate is "5HES 10" and, while it is not a vanity plate, it always gives me a solid laugh for the pedo reference
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 03:25 [#02583731]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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since i'm just running my mouth, i recommend suntori "toki" whiskey as a mid-high shelf that delivers without breaking the bank. i've never asked for it at the aforementioned crap bar, because there's no way they'd even have anything that deece.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 03:27 [#02583732]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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bars are the best way to try expensive whisk(y)s, because you don't have to buy a whole bottle.
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Roger Wilco
from Mo's Beans on 2019-08-20 07:26 [#02583741]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02583721
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I'm a very passive aggressive commuter and will be an asshole to anyone who, for example, cuts in front of me when getting on the tube (the subway). I've never called any a virgin, but I did call someone a "soppy millennial fuck" the other day.
It's not big, it's not clever, but you need to push back now and again against this ceaseless mediocre torture.
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Indeksical
from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2019-08-20 07:46 [#02583742]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02583725 | Show recordbag
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Surely your mum will just let you smoke in the house at your age?
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Tony Danza
from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2019-08-20 13:11 [#02583747]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker
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everyone is angry all the time now, bundles of rage ready to lash out at the least provocation
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mermaidman
on 2019-08-20 14:10 [#02583749]
Points: 8299 Status: Regular
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that's not how you should express your discontent epicmegatrax. good thing the guy didn't turn out be a hunk with a large cucumber... oh sorry witch thread are we in again?
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-21 02:27 [#02583791]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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out for a drive to smoke a zig, vol II ~
silver honda has clearly had a few drinks. i estimate silver honda's BAC at .1. all the signs are there -- driving 20 in a 35 zone; repeatedly overcompensating and wandering over the line. coming up to a light, silver honda turns on his blinker approximately six months too soon. he's turning right! but not before wandering left, over the line, halfway into the oncoming lane. as opposed to silver volkswagen (more like a .05, even coming right out of the bar) i am being snoozy and gentle. silver honda's brain is having enough trouble as it is; i just ensure i don't add to the cognitive burden. we encounter construction. silver honda is at a loss for a moment, before turning away. i loop through a parking lot and drive off in the opposite direction
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hevquip
from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2019-08-21 03:04 [#02583792]
Points: 3377 Status: Regular
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tailgaters should be shot. something only low iq drivers do.
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-21 04:21 [#02583793]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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it is a delicate art, as much as sandbagging a tailgater is
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Tony Danza
from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2019-08-21 17:42 [#02583799]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker
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I swear what could fix the whole planet is a road gladiators show where angry incels tailgate and shoot each other and the winner is granted access to the Breeding Pits. would burn off a lot of excess stock
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-22 01:03 [#02583812]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02583799
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that's a terrible idea. it would just breed stronger, angrier, tailgatey-er incels. best leave things as they are, with them denied access to The Breeding Pits
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ijonspeches
from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2019-08-24 14:43 [#02583952]
Points: 7838 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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practically everything in this chain of events is wrong, still i laughed real hard imagining the situation after i read the whole thread. stuff like that is exactly what our tv is made of. for better or worse.
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RussellDust
on 2019-08-24 14:48 [#02583955]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker
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Epic it seems apparent that your behaviour wasn’t great either. Whatever though!
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EpicMegatrax
from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-24 22:29 [#02583979]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular
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you're probably right. i shouldn't be drivetrolling random people who are probably miserable already. i'll try to do better in the future
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RussellDust
on 2019-08-24 22:42 [#02583983]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02583979
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I understand you were having a laugh! I’m not being critical but it’s true that the guy could have had a mental breakdown lol!
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