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angry volkswagen incel
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 02:09 [#02583721]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



a man in a silver volkswagen whips out; i am forced to jam
on the brakes. i tailgate a bit to express my discontent.
alright, good enough. i start to back off

but he's already furious with me. he slows down. he
brake-checks me (jams on the brakes in an attempt to rattle
me). i am not furious. i am not in a rush. i am, however,
amused, and continue to troll him by tailgating closely. he
drives at a crawl. he break checks repeatedly. waits until
after slamming on the brakes to turn on his blinker.
eventually, we wind up next to each other at a traffic
light.

i look over. he's looking at me. sdfhjgjdhfghjdfg he yells.
i stick my thumbs in my ears, closed my eyes, stick out my
tounge. instead of giving the finger, i am being silly. most
people laugh, at this point, because it's clear i'm not
taking it personal.

then he dredges up the best insult he can muster: are you
a virgin?


i literally crack up. most people just call me a faggot, a
fucking fucker, but this guy specifically went for virgin. i
can only surmise that virginity, or lack thereof, is
extremely important to this man -- perhaps it's even a
touchy subject


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2019-08-20 02:18 [#02583723]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker



wow that guys crazy whereas all the actions you perform in
this anecdote are reasonable and good


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 02:26 [#02583725]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



is that sarcasm

i can totally be an asshole if i'm late for an
appointment... but, going for an 8pm drive simply to smoke a
cigarette, it so does not matter

i have to admit a certain delighted anticipation as i pulled
up next to him at the light. i didn't know what i was going
to get, but i knew it would be something


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 02:44 [#02583726]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



perhaps he's on 4chan right now slagging off the bitches
that rejected him at the bar he was tearing out of without
looking. it is a singularly terrible bar. the last time i
was there, i ordered whiskey, and the guy next to me was
all, "bulleit bourbon? that's good stuff, i have a friend
who drinks that" before getting up for his turn to torture
the whole place with his take on kareoke. bulleit bourbin is
very squarely garden-variety low-mid shelf and the idea that
his friend drank it and this would be the basis for a
fulfilling conversation made me want to finish my drink and
leave. it's a bit too blue-collar for me, and the only
reason to go there is it's the only place in town open until
1am. otherwise, there are a half a dozen bars in town that
aren't frequented by dumbshit plumbers. i usually have work
and it's only the very occasional saturday night and i wind
up there. that he was pulling out at 8pm on a monday night
speaks volumes


 

offline wavephace from off the chain on 2019-08-20 03:04 [#02583728]
Points: 3098 Status: Lurker



What can you expect, VW's roots lie in National Socialism
(literally)


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 03:14 [#02583729]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



they cheat on their emissions because they have no one else
to cheat on, clearly


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 03:16 [#02583730]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



there is another volkswagen i walk by to/from work
sometimes, parked on the street. the license plate is "5HES
10" and, while it is not a vanity plate, it always gives me
a solid laugh for the pedo reference


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 03:25 [#02583731]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



since i'm just running my mouth, i recommend suntori "toki"
whiskey as a mid-high shelf that delivers without breaking
the bank. i've never asked for it at the aforementioned crap
bar, because there's no way they'd even have anything that
deece.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-20 03:27 [#02583732]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



bars are the best way to try expensive whisk(y)s, because
you don't have to buy a whole bottle.


 

offline Roger Wilco from Mo's Beans on 2019-08-20 07:26 [#02583741]
Points: 1997 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02583721



I'm a very passive aggressive commuter and will be an
asshole to anyone who, for example, cuts in front of
me when getting on the tube (the subway). I've never called
any a virgin, but I did call someone a "soppy millennial
fuck" the other day.

It's not big, it's not clever, but you need to push back now
and again against this ceaseless mediocre torture.


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2019-08-20 07:46 [#02583742]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02583725 | Show recordbag



Surely your mum will just let you smoke in the house at your
age?


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2019-08-20 13:11 [#02583747]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker



everyone is angry all the time now, bundles of rage ready to
lash out at the least provocation


 

offline mermaidman on 2019-08-20 14:10 [#02583749]
Points: 8299 Status: Regular



that's not how you should express your discontent
epicmegatrax. good thing the guy didn't turn out be a hunk
with a large cucumber... oh sorry witch thread are we in
again?


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-21 02:27 [#02583791]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



out for a drive to smoke a zig, vol II ~

silver honda has clearly had a few drinks. i estimate silver
honda's BAC at .1. all the signs are there -- driving 20 in
a 35 zone; repeatedly overcompensating and wandering over
the line. coming up to a light, silver honda turns on his
blinker approximately six months too soon. he's turning
right! but not before wandering left, over the line, halfway
into the oncoming lane. as opposed to silver volkswagen
(more like a .05, even coming right out of the bar) i am
being snoozy and gentle. silver honda's brain is having
enough trouble as it is; i just ensure i don't add to the
cognitive burden. we encounter construction. silver honda is
at a loss for a moment, before turning away. i loop through
a parking lot and drive off in the opposite direction


 

offline hevquip from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2019-08-21 03:04 [#02583792]
Points: 3377 Status: Regular



tailgaters should be shot. something only low iq drivers do.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-21 04:21 [#02583793]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



it is a delicate art, as much as sandbagging a tailgater is


 

offline Tony Danza from NAFO Suicide Hotline on 2019-08-21 17:42 [#02583799]
Points: 3638 Status: Lurker



I swear what could fix the whole planet is a road gladiators
show where angry incels tailgate and shoot each other and
the winner is granted access to the Breeding Pits. would
burn off a lot of excess stock


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-22 01:03 [#02583812]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02583799



that's a terrible idea. it would just breed stronger,
angrier, tailgatey-er incels. best leave things as they are,
with them denied access to The Breeding Pits


 

offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2019-08-24 14:43 [#02583952]
Points: 7838 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



practically everything in this chain of events is wrong,
still i laughed real hard imagining the situation
after i read the whole thread.
stuff like that is exactly what our tv is made of.
for better or worse.



 

offline RussellDust on 2019-08-24 14:48 [#02583955]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker



Epic it seems apparent that your behaviour wasn’t great
either. Whatever though!


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-08-24 22:29 [#02583979]
Points: 25264 Status: Regular



you're probably right. i shouldn't be drivetrolling random
people who are probably miserable already. i'll try to do
better in the future


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-08-24 22:42 [#02583983]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02583979



I understand you were having a laugh! I’m not being
critical but it’s true that the guy could have had a
mental breakdown lol!


 


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