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 Now online (2)recycle DADONCK ...and 119 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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i go out for my morning zig yesterday morning, and there is a pencil-sized hole in the mound. sensing my presence, a giant fucking wasp-looking thing flies into it. it is approximately an inch and a half long. thinking quickly, i take my lit zig, and shove it into the hole. it is, after all, the perfect size. it gets about an inch and a half down before hitting dirt. i light up another zig. after finishing that, i extract the zig from the wasp-hole; brush some dirt over. consider this discouragement this morning, it's dug the hole out again. i google it. i believe it to be a cicada-killa wasp, or some such. it is listed as "beneficial" for "garden," but i do not have a garden, bees and wasps give me an anxiety attack, and it is right by my front door. i shove a stick into the hole and bury it more thoroughly. i am giving you a chance here, you horrid bug. but, no. this afternoon, it's already dug out the hole again so i go to malwart and purchase: plastic bins, shorts, generic colored crew t-shirts, lucky charms, pop tarts, and RAID wasp killa. i expect the raid to be a fine stream, but instead it's like the sort of piss you take after holding it for ages -- powerful, voluminous, and frothing. i do hope horrid bug and i have concluded our beesness |
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oh, yes -- when i fed the hole the stick, it had clearly grown to at least four inches. |
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i do hear cicadas like mad in the trees, right now. must be the peak of their cycle perhaps the wasp would kill the cicadas, but cicads just hide and don't sting |
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Cicadas live underground as nymphs for most of their lives at depths down to about 2.5 m (8 ft). Nymphs have strong front legs for digging and excavating chambers in close proximity to roots where they feed on xylem sap. In the process, their bodies and interior of the burrow become coated in anal fluids ...from which they make alt-right posts to reddit |
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Cicadas are commonly eaten by birds and sometimes by squirrels,[50] as well as bats, wasps, mantises, spiders, and robber flies. In times of mass emergence of cicadas, various amphibians, fish, reptiles, mammals, and birds change their foraging habits so as to benefit from the glut. the fat squirrel always running along the fence will be pleased. |
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wasps are cunts, i've been stung inside my mouth as a young belbling as we apparently both wanted ice cream and i didn't see i had a new winged topping |
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i can handle mice, spiders, just about any kind of bird -- but i am . i saw the macauly culkin movie "my girl" when i was eight or so, right when i first got glasses and adults were telling me i looked like macauly culkin and i was all NOOO FFUU HE DIED OF LOTS OF BEES mosquitos have always loved me; i remember getting a bite on my ankle as a kid that swelled up so much i couldn't get my shoe on. i still don't know if i'm allergic to bees. i asked the doctor to get tested, and he was all, "yeah, insurance won't cover it, it'll cost $500-1000." i might have gotten stung whilst jogging in the woods two years ago, but i'm not entirely sure |
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we had a massive wasp nest in the loft once, my dad put on some overalls whilst drunk and punched it to bits |
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yes, that is key. you have to get a bit drunk before declaring war on wasps |
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haha! i shouldn't laugh i guess, did he not worry that the wasps would not take kindly to being punched? i don't mind bees now, they're usually pretty chill. birds n mice, same, though i lived with mice at my old house and did wake up with one in bed with me. freaked the fuck out |
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i had no problem with mice until i was trying to record a track and two of them were going thunderdrome inside the wall. kept banging on it -- shut up, you bastards, i'm trying to do a track, here |
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there was an old shaman story about the ants are invading our huts, we need to appease the ant gods. leave some sugar on a leaf outside of town. leave the huts alone absolute elimination is a non-optimal attitude. i don't want to kill the pests, i just want them to keep a certain distance |
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he sprayed it with about 2 cans of raid first, but yeah I don't think he was too concerned, he wasn't afraid of anything unlike me |
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hehe mice thunderdrome |
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yeah likewise, my mum had a rodent problem because her house is very old and cavity filled, and eliminating them was very stressful cos they are very very cute, but they had to be gotten rid off immediately |
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It was probably my fault leaving biscuit crumbs all over the floor |
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We had wasps in the attic before. They got into my gear, all inside my roland juno 106. Fuckers. Fuck them. Raid is your friend. Eventually my dad smoked them out. That was like 15 years ago. Mosquitoes love me too, I think they can sense the amount of sugar in your blood. I tried everything to kill mozzies or keep them away but raid works best. |
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perfect t shirt |
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I bet wavephace thinks this thread is about white anglo saxon protestants |
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Stripy bastard |
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or welsh arse saxaphones |
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Hehe |
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Btw macauly culkin has a podcast on youtube called bunny ears, it’s good. He did an episode with red letter media talking about ghosts. And tom green about having a celeb girlfriend |
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I saw him playing the home alone game around Christmas, its really bizzare seing a middle aged Macaulay Culkin |
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Maybe not that type, but wasps are a necessary part of the ecosystem. Also your behaviour is typical human BS. |
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I guess they do pollinate stuff, I just wish they were less aggressive, I like bumblebees they are laid back like hippies, no hassle man |
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so i've written about my buddy lewis, in my bullshit thread. he spent some time out in california, with a high school buddy -- let's give him the alias 'carl' -- and it was a disaster. lewis refused to stop hotboxing the shit out of the place and carl essentially lost his job after repeatedly showing up to work smelling like joints. lewis "cleaned" his bathtub and removed the grout along with the dirt, requiring contract work. and so on i've fielded a few calls from carl. it's about 1/4 finding out what's going on, and 3/4 being sympathetic as he rants about the hell lewis unleashed. i have heard from neither him nor lewis in weeks. lewis, last i heard, is in the psych ward (and does not want to speak to me) while carl found another job and got a puppy and on life goes. until today. i'm driving to the store and i miss a call; it's carl. he sends me a flurry of text messages about bees. apparently, while staying with him, instead of releasing bugs outside (or just killing 'em) lewis had been shoving them into the mattress. after a bit of debate, carl's recollection that he thought the floor was the portal to hell indicated he was attempting to send the bugs to hell. by inserting them into the mattress the US is in the midst of a heat wave. incense lewis left in carl's closet begins smoking. a hat of carl's that lewis wore for a bit -- it begins, melting, smouldering. his puppy began barking, averting disaster. but then the real shit -- the puppy, hearing something, tears open the mattress. bees come out. lots of bees. carl and puppy both get stung to shit bees pouring out of a mattress, from a spare bedroom that has been empty for months. i felt bad for him. i'm terrified of bees. he's actually allergic. even still, once i hung up the phone, i just started laughing |
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guy actually called me up because he was going crazy because no one beelieved him. his brother is a producer for some ghost show; tried to get him to let him film an episode. it's not ghosts, it's just lewis. but, really, people are more ready to believe in ghosts than that someone would methodically shove bugs into a mattress and that the mattress would hatch during a heat wave months later i can't help but think i'm less on lewis' shit list than carl, because i only got a single horribly monsterous wasp as opposed to an exploding mattress of bees |
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holy shit man, lewis sounds like a handful. mattress full of bees sounds like something from candyman, you ever see that one? very bee-heavy movie |
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Was responding the the OP. Sorry, should have used the rely function. |
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honestly, when it's not a complete bee disaster, I love him precisely because he's a handful. most interesting, bizzare, synchronicity-generating person I've ever known my whole life. |
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bee stuffed mattress is a genuinely great anecdote |
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