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walmart rainman

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-06-16 03:21 [#02580240]
Points: 13027 Status: Regular

so i need some fings. i left my umbrella on the train --
fitting, as i found it on the train for free in the first
place. i need some usb flash drives. hdmi cables. perhaps a
pair of shorts. walmart is obviously the place

i prepare myself. i get rather high in the parking lot; then
just chill out for a few minutes. according to google's nazi
metrics, walmart traffic dips around 8pm. i am just watching
parking lot theatre, high, for twenty minutes, until it's
after 8.

i enter the walmart. they have very pointedly omitted
baskets -- either you carry shit, or you get a shopping
cart. two size options. i am not in the mood for a cart
today. this is a carry run

the usb sticks are locked. i am briefly tempted to just rip
it off the shelf, because there are zero employees in sight.
i hunt around, and eventually find one. the man is
definitely not neurotypical, but we more or less hit it off,
in a thoroughly derpy sort of way.

he's holding the USB sticks i wanted, post-unlock, in his
hand. i ask about HDMI cables; he leads me to the HDMI
cables. then there is a moment of intense confusion: i am
trying to get him to hand me the USB sticks, but i've just
asked for HDMI cables, and he's forgotten that he's holding
the USB sticks and he just can't fathom

i tangent this into a mutual laugh with something like, "oh,
yeah, i want HDMI cables, but i also want USB sticks and

he says "come over here, i ring you up fast, you don't have
to wait forever" and he's already walking off. i hurriedly
pick out four HDMI cable pods from the racks and chase after

as he's ringing me up, he pauses.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-06-16 03:27 [#02580241]
Points: 13027 Status: Regular

"do you like the beatles?" he suddenly asks.

he does not even wait for me to answer. he asks another
question: "how many people do you know that like the

at this point, my brain explodes, because this is a really
complex question. i decide to curtail the rabbit hole and
just tick off some names: "oh, jeez, a lot of people, my
mom, my dad, my sister, other family members..."

then he wants me to pick a song. i opt for 'come together.'
he begins rattling off dates, track orders. he whips out a
tablet and shows me that everything he's said was spot-on.
he asks me to pick another. i go with strawberry fields.
same deal. he tells me there's a newspaper doing an article
on him.

i say, "people don't realize how tough it is having a good
memory; you remember bad things very clearly" and he's
already nodding. then i tried out some of my weasel theory
on him: "yeah, i was trying to reference a conversation with
someone i had months ago, and they didn't remember at
first... but, once i prompted them, they were all 'oh yeah'
and it sort of came back to them and do you feel like memory
is actually a creative process?

best walmart employee i've ever encountered. tempted to go
back tomorrow on hope he's on shift


offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2019-06-16 04:01 [#02580242]
Points: 4658 Status: Regular

hah, cool. i just get sort of flustered if checkout staff
want to chat.

but get this, last time i went to the shop i was buying two
packs of tobacco, 30g and 50g (i didn't have enough cash for
2 x 50g) and the guy serving me was extremely suspicious of
this. like, beyond asking "why the two packs" he went on to
tell me buying it for under 18s was illegal and that he
would call the police if he found i was doing that. for no
apparent reason. i guess maybe some kids had just tried
buying some but still. rude dude was rude


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2019-06-16 04:12 [#02580243]
Points: 13027 Status: Regular

if as cashier sells tobacco to someone he shouldn't, he's
pretty fucked, at least in the US. government shows up with
$500 fine or something and that's like 2/3 of what you make
for the week at a job like that. so i always bring that up
when i get carded -- i guess it's not so bad that at 34
cashiers still think i might be underage -- and through that
approach there is no rudeness. but, i do suppose i've not
been suspected of fencing


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