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one day, burly men showed up, and tore out the coca-cola branded office drink vending machines, and replaced them with pepsi ones. reaction was slightly sour; they had about 1/3 of the selection, and no energy drinks whatsoever. a month later, the same thing happens to the "mini-mart" -- torn out, converted to pepsi, 1/3 the section. that hit me a little harder, since the snack selection is now officially ghastly. in the midst of all this, i'd been starting to crack pepsi jokes around the office. the wifi was having regular issues, we get a notice that the building is upgrading the internet. "switch the wifi to pepsi" i say, and get a few laughs. then, last friday, we get this in email Happy Friday! Writing these emails is never fun especially on a lovely Friday afternoon. However, I have been instructed to remind everyone that Omnicom has a relationship with Pepsi. In support of that relationship, only Pepsi products are permitted at all Omnicom locations. The only exception is if either Coke or McDonalds is a client. During those visits, the agency may provide Coke products during the meeting but not out in the open. The Team is not authorized to order, stock or store any Coke products for any reason or for any agency. If you currently have Coke products stored in the closet or public space, please remove your inventory immediately. Any agency that orders products that are competitive with Pepsi, should not have them out in the open. Please do your very best to adhere to the Omnicom policy because they have asked my team to keep a close eye on it. the best jokes have a kernel of truth, as they say |
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have you ever played the original syndicate games, I was thinking of a minigun wielding cyborg with a pepsi logo etched on its forehead then |
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honestly, it's not so much domineering as it is funny, in a pathetic way. it's a stunning display of corporate insecurity. ironic, really, as i don't even drink soda. when i was six or so, my aunt visited. my mom asked her, "would you like anything to drink?" she replied, "oh, i'll have a pepsi!" my sister and i said, "what's pepsi?" my aunt was gobsmacked. they don't know what pepsi is? closest thing ever around was seltzer, which i didn't like. growing up, just never developed a taste for soda. two or three times a month i'll have an energy drink for the caffeine, but i actually hate the taste |
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woah, that almost reads like dystopian fiction. are they going to discipline anyone found drinking Unauthorised Liquids? |
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we were debating that! it's really unclear. i don't actually work for omnicom, just a subsidiary of a subsidiary of omnicom re-leases some of their space to various smaller independent companies. am i still subject to omnicom policy? it is unclear what is utterly, completely, clear is this: my inner high-school student is screaming at me to do things like: print out a giant, color, coca-cola loga; tack it up in my cube. buy a six-pack of coca-cola, leave it in the center of the cafeteria; watch it and wait from a corner |
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I can't support Pepsi after their violent rhetoric against black bodies |
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No doubt coke do the same shit somewhere else, sad state of affairs and it happens at every level with every sort of product. Don't know how you Americans can live with it. |
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i know coke kinda have colombian anti-union murderers on their payrolls but this is just heinous |
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No doubt coke do the same shit somewhere else, sad state of affairs and it happens at every level with every sort of product. Don't know how you Americans can live with it. nailed it. in college, there was a food court with bronze plaque declaring it the "PepsiCo Plaza," but you could not find a single pepsi product anywhere on campus. The university was locked into a contract with Aramark for X years, and Aramark had a contract with coca-cola. |
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republican or democrat? pepsi or coke? you could start a bar fight in america by declaring one soda brand or the other democratic or republican |
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That's not how I remember it. This one day these two gorgeous hunks come over to the office to install a pepsi machine, and EpicMegatrax couldn't stop remarking how "burly" they were, and hunky. "That sure pepped me up" he said after they left, wafting in and savoring their remaining double hunk odor, each pleasantly unique and even more powerful combined. "Why don't they just install one of those hunks, then we can drink pepsi right out of his cock?" he said, and got a few laughs, in his mind, but in reality they were only awkward grimaces and head palms since he'd been talking about the hunks all month. "And/or nipples" he continued. "Preferable and" he said after a bit more pondering. He received a few reprimanding emails explaining his behavior was not appropriate for the workplace. And that's what happened. You can ask anyone there. |
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yeah that one seems more likely than epicmegatrax' version of the story. |
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i have to admit, i did not anticipate w M w showing to turn this thread into slash fiction |
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would you like a hunk vending machine though? |
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i'd rather hug a tachikoma |
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you and your annoyingly oblique references, |
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annoying in the sense I had to google it and I resent having to do that |
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if you haven't watched ghost in the shell: stand alone complex, well, you poor dear. watch it and you might sleep better |
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ive seen bit of it, ive seen akira and some other stuff but I must admit I a bit prejudice against a lot of Anime, as it seems to have a lot of infantile baggage, emotional overwrought, hypersexuality, I guess im not its demographic |
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ghost in the shell seems much less of that in general that most anime so I would like to watch it eventually |
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how would you feel if you knew someone who was dipping a toe in the waters of electronic music, and you got to introduce them to aphex, drukqs? watch stand alone complex. it is good. |
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ok yeah i'll watch it sometime |
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hows this for corporate compassion |
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You’d feel like you’d have to have something from some competitor at you on all times. Something in a draw and something in a pocket. Coke logo underwear? (Nah that’s going too far) |
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On you at* |
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i would have started tapping on the robot doctor screen, attempting to open the start menu so i could change his language to polish |
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*oh sorry it got the rooms mixed up again* |
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imagine eating it thinking its some red liquorice |
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eating nosedirt boogers as a lad was not unpleasant. very salty though |
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*nosebleeed |
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probably boosted your immune system, perhaps your body was low on sodium like those parrots that eat bits off clay from a mountain side |
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immune systems were never laid out as important. it was all about propriety. it is, apparently, rude to eat your nosebleed boogers. that took me by surprise in 3rd grade |
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wat |
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it makes me think of something Howard Hughes would do |
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pick and flick is alright by me |
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the comments to that video are an eye opener! |
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so deeply split on this being a troll vs. real |
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deffo real im afraid |
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the snack selection is now officially ghastly this is racist against white people. we need various snacks to be productive. #privelege my ass!!!!!! heres what you need to do, organize a #freeshit protest, at snack time all patriot workers shit their pants, commie boss doesn'l like it? to bad shouldnt have interfered with the #freemarket #freeshit for #freemarket, monday at epics office |
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get inside the vending machine and hoot like an owl whenever management walks past |
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Especially like 3ish years ago I was noticing all these youtube coke "science experiments" and crap like these 2 which don't deserve a link to up their already shilled SEO. Stupid swimming pool full of the poison https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RLN_pNuMc0 and 'how to build (some dumb toy with a coke bottle) or "mentos and coke". All that shit is viral advertising, and shilled with like 70 million views. The epitome of these forced memes is the elen degenerate "damn daniel" extravaganza featuring shit slave made shoes and shit fascist monopoly ebay and shit shills. It's like saints row tim and eric genki except it is in real life. One of the worst is "netflix and chill". This is a shit corporation full of shit concepts of shit copyright using human sexual reproduction to spread viraly. At what point is it legitimate to use self defense in all directions against the full spectrum fascist offense takeover? It's a fascist full spectrum projectile diarrhea attack. |
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There's only 2 places in the world that make parmesan cheese, they say because only the right bacteria grows there, buuuuullshit. It's a monopoly like everything else, anyone else would be banned from selling or making it. All canned string beans, del monte all proud of their automated canning process going back decades. can I sell canned string beans? Can I even have land to grow string beans? Can I sell anything? Only they can sell. We're captive consumers in a human farm. And they do plan to tax oxygen essentially, almost like a ludicrous whatever latin term for taking something to an extreme logical conclusion, but they'll do it on the exhale, carbon dioxide, instead of inhale. |
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reductio ad absurdum, why don't they just fucking say it in english. they probably keep latin around for obfuscation purposes in lawyer speak and irs laws |
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that's perhaps to most utterly pointless thing ive seen in quite a while, jesus Christ, I was a bit disappointment no one dropped a massive bag of mentos in it though |
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yes I get the impression its for obfuscation, its a for of language elitism to discourage the average person from learning their own rights, well I get that impression, perhaps I should just learn a bit of latin as well, but English seems like a good functional language so why not just express these things in simple terms, surely simple, lucid language is best for everyone |
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I suspect complex math equations are too. Like the ones with the giant letter E with things written on top and below and to the side of it etc. Go to any communist wikipedia page about math and there's a huge nonsensical equation, the one true obfuscated answer as dictated by the non-meritocracy of wikipedia moderators. There probably is no place to learn what those mean, I've never found it. And if it exists it's probably a horribly obfuscated way to express it, just like music notation. All those dumb music snogs I made I never did with any music notation, I recognized it as an elitist overly complicated system to make other people's brains hate music, just like school does with learning in general, so they can monopolize it. This other guy got wind of the corruption in music and math too and he started bulldozing the town in a killdozer, he's a hero of the renaissance! |
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I can see both sides of the issue I guess, sometimes it feels a bit elitist or perhaps I haven't made enough of an effort to understand, for instance all those symbols and equations my brother understands perfectly well and he is very unassuming |
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i feel you on viral advertising, dumbing down of thing and stuff, but not so much on math. one thing i hate is how UI has become this stupid thing with more empty space than alaska. "we've simplified you experience," a popup says, and there is no option to re-complicate it. you can only make something so simple before it becomes useless; a fucking etch-a-sketch. people who write math do not care about simple, they care about math. they also do not care what you think of math; they're too busy to care about math. math is complicated because making it simple would destroy what math is -- complicated the giant E just means "add shit up together according to this algorithm." it's more or less like a "for" loop if you know that from programming i have never been good at math. don't hate it, but never particularly took too it for its own sake. now i'm older and reading all this stuff about neurology and it turns out, whether you like it or not, your brain runs on calculus, are built into our neural layout, and more. so, i actually feel your frustration, somewhat. except, it's not "math is hard" (--barbie) it's "math is tough, but valuable" if it were simple, it wouldn't be as valuable |
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