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lost my anal beads
 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 10:52 [#02534083]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



hope someone else doesn't find them!


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-10-15 11:34 [#02534085]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



Anal beads are a sex toy consisting of multiple spheres
or balls attached together in series which are continuously
inserted through the anus into the rectum and then removed
with varying speeds depending on the effect desired (most
typically at orgasm to enhance climax). Those who use anal
beads enjoy the pleasurable feeling they receive as the ball
passes through the narrow sphincter of the anus.


(wikipedia)


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 11:48 [#02534086]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



yeah a friend gave them to me after he bought new ones


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-10-15 12:02 [#02534087]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



fo' real?


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 12:22 [#02534088]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



lol no just kidding


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 12:23 [#02534089]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



these beads he bought them from a vintage store. they are
vintage wooden beads


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-10-15 12:30 [#02534090]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



its the pleasure you find while taking a shit?


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 12:54 [#02534091]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



eww


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-15 16:09 [#02534098]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker



LAZY_TITLE


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 16:10 [#02534101]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02534098



i'm afraid to click on that link hyperflake even though it
is a youtube link but of course i'll click anyway


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 18:37 [#02534117]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



my beads are poop-free


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-15 18:58 [#02534119]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular



I wondered what the cat kept going after, they're under my
sofa.


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 19:12 [#02534121]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



bad kitty! don't chew on it!


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-10-15 20:08 [#02534124]
Points: 15932 Status: Regular



They’ve been up there all along, that’s my guess. Have a
good rummage through just to be sure; who knows, you might
find other stuff you lost ages ago!


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-15 20:31 [#02534129]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to RussellDust: #02534124



yeah that's the first place i looked. where do the beads go?
in my ass so that's where i checked first but no they are
not there. thanks for the help though russell!


 

offline fleetmouse from Horny for Truth on 2017-10-16 00:21 [#02534134]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker



[criss angel pulls the beads from his ass hole] are these
your beads sir


 

offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2017-10-16 09:57 [#02534136]
Points: 6258 Status: Lurker | Followup to fleetmouse: #02534134



hey there sir peepleton, how the devil are you?


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 09:59 [#02534137]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to fleetmouse: #02534134



hahaha i think it’s time i buy new beads you can keep them
chris thank you


 

offline fleetmouse from Horny for Truth on 2017-10-16 13:07 [#02534138]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker | Followup to belb: #02534136



good good I missed you guy's


 

offline fleetmouse from Horny for Truth on 2017-10-16 13:09 [#02534139]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker | Followup to mermaidman: #02534137



[criss angel looking like he's trying not to look offended]


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 15:23 [#02534142]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to fleetmouse: #02534139



...bye criss! *waves awkwardly and flees away*
i wouldn't want to upset criss angel you never know what he
can do.


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-10-16 15:35 [#02534143]
Points: 15932 Status: Regular



Aw, peeps, ace to see you!

Trust you to turn up again in this thread!

Btw, I think I found your beads, merman. They were in my
dog’s poo today. Weird. Life.


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 15:42 [#02534144]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to RussellDust: #02534143



oh! poor dog had to shit those beads out. i think we gotta
leave these beads alone man. there is something going on
with these beads i’m willing to buy new beads from my
local sex shop.


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 15:59 [#02534145]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



if you buy a horse size dildo they give you the anal beads
for free. but the thing is now your anus is too wide for the
regular beads they give you.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-16 16:30 [#02534146]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker



A few bowling balls tied together on a anchor chain makes a
suitable set of anal beads for a humpback whale


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 17:05 [#02534149]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02534146



i think a whale might have a wider anus than that. what if
whales enjoy anal beads immensely? what if they moan so hard
whole cities collapse?


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-16 17:16 [#02534152]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker | Followup to mermaidman: #02534149



I think they have relatively small arseholes in relation to
their body mass, its why their balls are only the size of
basketballs but if everything was scaled they should be the
size of a smart car


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 17:33 [#02534154]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02534152



wow i wonder how long it takes them to take a shit with a
tiny asshole like that. if their dicks are as tiny as their
balls it’s not so cool to be a whale i guess. now if you
were the size of a basketball and had a dick the size of a
whale you would be very popular among women.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-16 17:55 [#02534156]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker



If you had a dick the size of whale, you could be going to
the shops and your dick would be around the next corner in a
different postcode.



 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 18:01 [#02534158]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02534156



lol! your dick would be around the corner picking chicks


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 18:08 [#02534159]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



your dick would cause so much trouble


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-16 18:09 [#02534160]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker



it would have to be on those roller logs they use to move
those statues on easter island, otherwise you would get
horrible friction burns on your bell end, also you could get
oaps on zimmer frames and naughty children stuck under your
foreskin, so you would need a pair of wing mirrors on your
bollocks


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-16 18:10 [#02534161]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker



if you got an erection you would demolish houses


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-16 18:12 [#02534163]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker



yolou could use it as a pontoon bridge during periods of
flooding, a giant draft excluder for the homeless and
elderly,


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 18:21 [#02534164]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



the sound the friction would make would be huuuge! kushhhhh!
everyone would know you and your dick are on the move. but i
like the idea of using your dick for a good cause.


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-10-16 18:43 [#02534170]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



hi fleetmouse!


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-16 19:41 [#02534179]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker | Followup to mermaidman: #02534164



imagine a giant starfish 50 foot across but all its legs
were large penises


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-16 19:42 [#02534180]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker



then the backstreet boys all dance onto the scene and pull
down their trousers at the apex of each cock leg


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-16 23:55 [#02534219]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



hyperflake i'm all about imagining a giant starfish with
giant dicks for legs but please no backstreet boy dancing
that's gayer than gay i would rather perform fellatio than
that


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-17 14:27 [#02534241]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker | Followup to mermaidman: #02534219



ok Nsync then


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-17 17:26 [#02534246]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02534241



yeah you're right. in a thread about anal beads boy bands
deserve a mention of course what was i thinking nsync
backstreet boys all that


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-17 17:34 [#02534247]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



how is signeduptolol not all over this thread i don't
understand one of the most famous forerunners of gayism


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-17 17:38 [#02534249]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



he is such a definitive gay that gayness earned certain
distinctive qualities thank to his being


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-17 17:39 [#02534250]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker



:P


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-10-17 17:40 [#02534251]
Points: 24426 Status: Regular



i expected to see him in this thread, too. i hope he's
alright


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-10-17 17:59 [#02534254]
Points: 30752 Status: Lurker



He is too busy autobumming himself in a torus like
configuration


 

offline -crazone from smashing acid over and over on 2017-10-17 18:13 [#02534257]
Points: 11082 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



Flushed down the toilet?


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-17 18:31 [#02534260]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to -crazone: #02534257



my beads floarted on water i used them in hot tubs
frequently. they were too wide to flush down anyway.


 

offline fleetmouse from Horny for Truth on 2017-10-17 18:38 [#02534261]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker



[90s dude walks by wearing your wooden anal beads around his
neck, and a kangol hat]


 

offline mermaidman on 2017-10-17 18:51 [#02534263]
Points: 8042 Status: Lurker | Followup to fleetmouse: #02534261



there are many imitations of my anal beads. they claim it's
my "used" anal beads and sell them on ebay. don't fall for
it people.


 


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