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taking a break
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-19 12:02 [#02515870]
Points: 8739 Status: Regular



just before last christmas, i got an email from my mom. it
more or less read, "you're welcome to come over for
christmas. oh, yeah, and your father has parkinson's
disease."

when he was diagnosed with cancer two or so years ago, she
more or less did the exact same shit, even though my father
told her not to tell me. i'm sure he told her not to tell me
this time, too.

depending on her mood, my mom will either love me or hate
me. look up "borderline personality disorder" on wikipeda,
study the character of livia soproano, and you more or less
have the idea. she is a manipulative nutter completely held
hostage by her own paranoia and emotion. my dad is alright,
but useless.

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, i have to admit.
the only bit of luck is that, having been able to watch it
happen to someone else (gradually destroying relationships,
denying it, destroying more) i've been on the lookout for
that death spiral, and avoided it as best i can.

once i saw what was going on, i really tried to help my mom
out. tried to talk. it was a disaster. she almost killed me.
literally punched me, throwing shit at me. that was it. i
was done. i ran. i got the fuck out of there.

from time to time, they reach out and lob grenades. mom's
christmas present was "dad has parkinson's." oh, you
shouldn't have

now i get am email from dad: the dog died. mom's had a heart
attack. we're being sued and we have to sell the house. you
should come get your stuff out of the basement.

they live three hours away. i don't have the gas money to
get there. the car needs new brakes. i'm about to owe
thousands in taxes; i have $3 in my paypal account. i am
genuinely scared.

you guys know me better than my own family does, at this
point. this board has been a happy place for me. i'm going
to be a mess over the next few weeks, and i don't want to
risk taking it out on anyone here. love you all. see you
when things get better.


 

offline fleetmouse from Gorilla Mind Smooth on 2017-03-19 14:03 [#02515871]
Points: 17616 Status: Regular



don't know if you'll be back to read this before your hiatus
but best wishes, hope better days are ahead


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-19 14:28 [#02515872]
Points: 12943 Status: Addict



All the best mate, I really hope you get to the other side
of this, dont like to hear anyone suffering unnecessarily


 

offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2017-03-19 15:41 [#02515875]
Points: 2296 Status: Lurker



sounds terrible, here's hoping you have better luck soon my
man


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-19 18:10 [#02515877]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



love ur mum, good luck!


 

offline umbroman3 from United Kingdom on 2017-03-19 18:13 [#02515878]
Points: 1422 Status: Addict



all the best to you


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-19 21:06 [#02515879]
Points: 20691 Status: Regular



I suspect selling a house takes a long ass time, maybe a
year, so you maybe have time to scrounge up funds, or you
could politely tell them you have no funds to drive there if
it's a fact, or it could maybe be shipped to you, or maybe a
note could be left for whoever buys it to please store that
stuff in the basement until it can be picked up. Some argue
that tax is theft and thus getting turbo tax and fudging the
numbers until zero is owed is merely self defense from being
stolen from, since indeed zero is often available to be
paid, I mean it's like a mafia shakedown of someone with no
funds. One might tell all the CEOs and the 20 people that
supposedly have half the world's wealth to put your "taxes"
on their bill. I mean, in theory, I'm not advocating
anything. Oh, but of course turbo tax... costs money too.
Buying it is basically part of the tax, another fee to a
large corporation, or maybe just the single cartel if that's
what it is. Sorry; good luck.


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-20 18:42 [#02515880]
Points: 1685 Status: Regular



lol


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 18:50 [#02515881]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Followup to SignedUpToLOL: #02515880 | Show recordbag



i bet you're lolling at the 'you know me better than anyone
else' stuff


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-03-20 19:29 [#02515882]
Points: 8682 Status: Addict



I hate to be the one, but life is at times, and I'm sure for
most, excruciatingly tough. We're a fucking emotional
species, which doesn't help.

For example I could type:

My parents split up when I was 3, no stability throughout my
childhood, dad's had 4 heart attacks, as a teen I lived on
the street for a period, I went through a slow 3 year
suicide attempt recently (severe depression, addiction, self
hatred) my mum is more up and down than a yoyo, I have a
very difficult illness to deal with, blah fucking blah.

I've also lived amazing times, and have always preferred the
optimistic approach.

You're a smart, interesting bloke, EMT. Use your logic to
overcome this shit time, and rise. Use your brain, be good
to yourself. Good to others.

I'm sure your point here isn't for us all to feel sorry for
you. At least I hope so. You can't really measure suffering.
If a person suffers, it suffers, even if another sufferer on
the planet wouldn't condone their suffering. It's relative,
and the really issue is: can you deal with it, rise, and
possibly learn from it on the way.


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-03-20 19:30 [#02515883]
Points: 8682 Status: Addict



It's all about the really issue.


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2017-03-20 19:48 [#02515884]
Points: 9758 Status: Regular



guys i gotta tell you. im actually currently fat where as
epic was only fat before.


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 20:03 [#02515885]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



my parents also split up when i was three. prove yourself
before them while they're alive


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 20:05 [#02515886]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



im not sure to tell you you have to crash your head on the
wall like everyone and come out of shit with the sembiances
of a person


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 20:13 [#02515887]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



health is the biggest issue, both for you and your
relatives. do as you can, dont fall into emotional traps,
you can feel you're not being respected sometimes but
passing over it makes you stronger, never feel enslaved.
give what you can, don't overlook you're being given as
well, dont take it for granted. people might be closer to
death than you are


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 20:17 [#02515888]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



i mean people might be looking at death from a closer
perspective than yours


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 20:24 [#02515889]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



age means actually nothing, as you can find old bastards
trying to shit you in their mind business anytime. but im
not sure its the case of your family.


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 20:27 [#02515890]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



also if you rely on that bullshit thread in the means that
people knows you as a person for some stupid bullshit text
you chose to type, you're actually fucked up, to put it the
american way


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 20:45 [#02515891]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



dig deeper with them, dont come here and bullshit us like we
know you better than them.


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2017-03-20 20:47 [#02515892]
Points: 9758 Status: Regular



eat lots and relax i dont care if im fat honestly. things
arent so bad. all of you try to cheer up


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 20:52 [#02515893]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



you see, ampi is fat, hes having fun with food, lucky him,
you rob eggs from your flatmates, i do like ampi two days a
week, i eat a lot of dates and make liquid shit


 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-20 21:01 [#02515894]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



seriously now if you're actually looking for help out there
never try to fool anyone into any fucking joke, be dead
serious


 

offline freqy on 2017-03-21 11:57 [#02515901]
Points: 15119 Status: Addict | Show recordbag




Best wishes Epics.!

Hope your parents get well soon; and you find some peace and
calm.

freqy x.



 

offline mohamed on 2017-03-21 22:21 [#02515969]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



listen to big calm by morcheeba or some buddha bar


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-06-20 04:03 [#02522867]
Points: 8739 Status: Regular



here is the speech i gave at my dad's memorial. it is
pretty much an xltronic post, but i don't think anyone
noticed.

other news: mom and i have a therapist to act as a traffic
cop. in our session today, i told a story: i was driving my
two best buddies slash roomies absolutely crazy because i
could. not. shut. up.

so, i came up with a keyword: peter molyneux. i told them:
"should i be driving you crazy -- changing topics every
thirty seconds (it's because of astrocytes) -- just say
molyneux and i will stop talking."

it didn't work at first. i actually floated the idea of
having them stand there with foam bats and bop me when i
molyneux'd until it sank in... but, no, eventually it sank
in without us having to resort to that.

before i told this story, though, i told the dr. therapist
this: "yes, on way over here, while my mom was driving, she
was driving me crazy because she was changing topics every
thirty seconds."

dr. therapist listened patiently, then essentially said,
"yes, that sounds good. let's do that again."

now i can tell my mom "molyneux" when she's changing topics
every thirty seconds. this is somewhere between validating
and mad cool, but mostly, it's a relief.

she is not having an easy time with it, but neither did i.

i've missed you guys.


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-06-20 12:06 [#02522872]
Points: 8682 Status: Addict



That's a nice speech. My condolences.

I need to find a 'molyneux' word, it's a good idea.

Welcome back, EMT!


 

offline mohamed on 2017-06-20 16:49 [#02522873]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02522867 | Show recordbag



Condolences


 

offline mohamed on 2017-06-20 20:15 [#02522877]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



im not touching donut cakes from months, if that comforts
you


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-21 14:52 [#02522902]
Points: 12943 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02522867



RIP your dad, sorry to hear it, is your name Geoff then?


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-21 14:56 [#02522903]
Points: 12943 Status: Addict



Your dad sounded like a good man, i like people who have a
natural curiosity about how stuff works, its what makes life
worth living isnt it


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-21 15:10 [#02522905]
Points: 1685 Status: Regular



Genuine XLT bro-hug. Come to London and I promise to only
bum you a little bit.


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-21 15:11 [#02522906]
Points: 1685 Status: Regular



That is if you don't get run over by Bad Men Doing Terror,
first.


 

offline mohamed on 2017-06-22 21:36 [#02522986]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



i have mastered the art of cooking rice, doses, in case the
cooking process escapes the methodic way i try to do that,
resulting in diarrhea totally halted, making nice and
friendly turds to manipulate and im sure something healthy
and nice to eat. i settled with 150 grams of rice and half a
tin of meat.


 

offline mohamed on 2017-06-22 21:37 [#02522987]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



talking about my dog in case you forgot


 

offline mohamed on 2017-06-22 21:48 [#02522988]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



i give her a small bit of burger sometimes


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-06-23 23:27 [#02523047]
Points: 8739 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02522902



RIP your dad, sorry to hear it, is your name Geoff
then?


i was named after Chaucer

Your dad sounded like a good man, i like people who have
a natural curiosity about how stuff works, its what makes
life worth living isnt it


he gave me my first soldering lessons before i was in
kindergarten, but i can't recall playing baseball with him
even once.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-06-23 23:29 [#02523048]
Points: 8739 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02522987



i have mastered the art of cooking rice, doses, in case
the
cooking process escapes the methodic way i try to do that,
resulting in diarrhea totally halted, making nice and
friendly turds to manipulate and im sure something healthy
and nice to eat. i settled with 150 grams of rice and half
a
tin of meat.

talking about my dog in case you forgot


of course not! now, obviously, i have to continue the theme,
and ask -- how much do the turds weigh? and is it more or
less than the weight of the empty tin?


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-23 23:30 [#02523049]
Points: 12943 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02523047



ah chaucer the only bit i know is the monks coming out of
the devils arse, i probably should know more


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-06-23 23:31 [#02523050]
Points: 8739 Status: Regular



Genuine XLT bro-hug. Come to London and I promise to
only
bum you a little bit.

That is if you don't get run over by Bad Men Doing Terror,
first.


more likely i'd be hit by a brit an run


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-23 23:43 [#02523061]
Points: 12943 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02523047



letting you handle a soldering iron so young must have alot
of faith in you, when i had one i burnt a hole through my
school blazer


 

offline mohamed on 2017-06-24 00:24 [#02523067]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02523048 | Show recordbag



i didnt weight them of course, but i would say some 10-15
grams. less the weight of an empty tin.


 

offline mohamed on 2017-06-24 00:36 [#02523070]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



no kidding you, when i took her in my room her ass wasnt in
control, told to be 'old' and therefore more subject to
incontinence, i gave her her dignity back.


 

offline mohamed on 2017-07-10 21:45 [#02524530]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



with the heat she has back to the uncontrollable mode, this
morning the janitor here surprised her pooping in the garden
inside the building property, he said to me 'its becoming a
whorehouse' i said 'im sorry, i am picking that up'


 

offline mohamed on 2017-07-10 21:48 [#02524531]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



*is


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-07-10 22:07 [#02524539]
Points: 8682 Status: Addict | Followup to mohamed: #02523070



What??


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-07-10 22:07 [#02524540]
Points: 8682 Status: Addict | Followup to mohamed: #02524530



Wha, ah ok.


 

offline mohamed on 2017-07-10 22:07 [#02524541]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Followup to RussellDust: #02524539 | Show recordbag



i was talking about my dog


 

offline mohamed on 2017-07-10 22:09 [#02524542]
Points: 20901 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



could have fit for my sister as well


 


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