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advice on: some members of my community can hear me
 

offline illfates from space (United States) on 2017-03-17 23:17 [#02515767]
Points: 830 Status: Lurker



some members of my community can hear me think. some can
not. some cough when I think things normally associated
with "impolite self-conduct," there is no easy way to tell
the difference between these people based on their provided
feedback. further, suspicion of a machine medium using the
"subspace:" for interpersonal messaging between cognizant
parties confounds additionally.

does anyone have any advice?


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-17 23:37 [#02515768]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



are you saying people are coughing when you are thinking
about having a wank?


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-17 23:38 [#02515769]
Points: 20622 Status: Lurker



Maybe you're developing schizophrenia, maybe drugs are
causing it, maybe its related to project bluebeam, which is
seemingly debunked in rational wiki:
LAZY_TITLE
Maybe concentrate on simple axioms and facts, walk outside
and consciously make simple true sentences about the things
you pass. "I am walking on a street. The street has a
sidewalk on the right side." etc. Which is obvious,
but sort of therapeutic to the sort of psychosis that comes
about from things like internet insanity memeplexes or
drugs. It's sort of retraining your brain that 2+2=4.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-17 23:46 [#02515770]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



its kind of liberating knowing no one gives a shit about me
when i walk along
well 99% of people i guess


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-17 23:49 [#02515771]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



just the odd occasional psychic wizard telling me to pull
my pants down at importune moments


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-17 23:49 [#02515772]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



LAZY_TITLE

listen to this twice an hour and you will be cured


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 06:22 [#02515775]
Points: 20622 Status: Lurker



Why is your name illfates? Fates should be good, all should
be good.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 06:54 [#02515777]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



literally a minute or two before i logged in here, i was
griping "there are all sorts of chess games going on in my
head that i barely understand."

there are plenty of moments where i can feel that i'm
reacting to other people but i'm not entirely aware what,
why, how. one of my roommates does not have a car, and we've
cut a deal where i help him out with that. he's not much
better than me on schedules, though...

...about twelve hours ago i was getting ready for bed, and i
felt myself growing crabby: "what now?" i think. something
is imminent

sure enough, he comes at me: i have to go for this thing
right. now and yes we could have done it any time in
the last two or three days but i've forgotten about it until
EpicMegaTrax has been up all night copying files off a
struggling hard drive -- more shit in his life to clean up,
thank you very much! -- and now i'm going to bust in as he's
getting ready for bed and throw a hissy fit because this
needs to be done right. now

i thought: oh, that's it. he'd mentioned the thing a couple
times and i was expecting to go out for it at some point.
and somehow i knew he was about to drop that shit on me at
precisely the worse moment. but it wasn't until it happened
that i knew what was going on. in the long run, it's a favor
my brain walls things off for me, but it's not without its
downsides


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 07:02 [#02515778]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



have you ever been in the most foul, terrible mood... but,
yes, you're managing to hide it. keep it to yourself.
pretend everything is fine. because, why get your mess on
everyone else?

...then someone comes up to you all: what the fuck is your
problem. attitude. you've barely spoken to them; you thought
they didn't know. but, somehow, they do. it's like they'd
been stewing in your terrible thoughts along with you for
the past hour even though you've been hiding and avoiding
interaction.

twenty-four hours later, you have a discission: "i was
trying so hard not to get mad, then i was trying to keep it
to myself, then i could feel you getting mad at me for being
mad."

i fully expected to get that dim look; a comment like, "what
are you on about?" instead, he just looks distant and
contemplative... then says... "yeah... that was pretty
weird."


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 07:34 [#02515780]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



i feel like squarepusher would have some good advice on all
this


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 08:11 [#02515781]
Points: 20622 Status: Lurker



How many of you are the same account? Everyone should be
good to everyone, it's the purest behavior and makes the
best painting. Memes might be the building blocks of a new
reality, only good healthy memes should grow there.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 08:24 [#02515782]
Points: 20622 Status: Lurker



I apologize for negative memes if any given freedom of
speech, I was merely painting art/comedy/boredom word
organazation like music, and perhaps infected with memetic
virus; one who is infected is probably innocent. It is the
mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought
without accepting it. Though frankly I suspect I'm very low
IQ. Even the virus shouldn't be "punished" perhaps, it's a
self replicator, a type of life, it should be out-replicated
by goodness. As kokesh says we should probably have
restitution, not punishment. Punishment is a continuation of
the virus, you can't fight virus with itself. All are
innocent and only affected by the environment. The
environment should be good to have good minds, perhaps the
meme matrix. Goodbye.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 09:38 [#02515788]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



w M w, you've made interesting tracks from software you
wrote yourself in python. while you were doing that, most
people on this planet watched "american idol" and argued
about it on twitter. whatever you IQ is, i am certain it is
way above average. the glumness you feel is the tacit
knowledge that being way above average isn't terribly hard.
then one looks up the chain and sees all sorts of people way
smarter than himself and feels even more shit. john carmack
wrote wolfenstein 3D when he was 21. i am over thirty and i
have not come close to any sort of achievement of that
magnitude. i try not to wallow in self-pity and jealousy,
though, because the time is better spent pouring over
interviews and wikipedia pages and trying to data mine the
john carmacks of the world for a clue or a leg up. there's
no secret sauce, it comes in a steady stream of little
pieces


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 10:02 [#02515789]
Points: 20622 Status: Lurker



Do you think xltronic might be some sort of psychological
software in a mental institution? Like we're insane people
in a mental institution and they have this xltronic program
running, every other account is some mental health
professional checking up on you? I rememeber discovering
that aphex's music... was insane, I mean isn't it? That
creates a desire to achieve insanity in those that listen to
it? But if you achieve insanity, can you go back to normal?


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 10:07 [#02515790]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



it's more like the galapagos islands. a unique and isolated
ecosystem where evolution happens so fast that it can be
seen with human eyes


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 10:20 [#02515792]
Points: 20622 Status: Lurker



hmm. Do you think most animals are 'happy' in their default
natural environment, such as zebras due to constant predator
fear? You can get a sense of the primal fear by watching a
video with large kodiak bears + people in it. Does the
happiness of being a zebra or most animals outweigh the bad?
Is the universe becoming more happy or indifferent? Under
the ideology of voluntaryism it might make sense to humanely
eat the predators since they're initiating force, though
they're innocent since they're unintentional products of
evolution. If there's only grass, it competes with itself to
outshade itself or become ivy and climb over another.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 10:21 [#02515793]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



some cough when I think things normally associated with
"impolite self-conduct," there is no easy way to tell the
difference between these people based on their provided
feedback. further, suspicion of a machine medium using the
"subspace:" for interpersonal messaging between cognizant
parties confounds additionally.

does anyone have any advice?


anyways, i think i do. i've found it superbly helpful to
rephrase situations like yours in terms of computer hacking.
i know more or less what you mean when you call it
"subspace" because i've seen enough star trek. i also know
that star trek words are made-up shite and trying to make
sense of reality on the basis of such terms is, in a phrase,
critically fucked. here, let's try:

you are experiencing "sideband transfer" of "state data."
most of you stays inside your head perfectly well, but bits
leak out.

say someone walks in a room and startles you. you flinch;
they see you flinch. sheer reaction telegraphs your state of
mind, in a limited sense, and they apologize for giving you
a start. there is nothing mystical or strange about this.

now, imagine, you are having impure thoughts... or you're
experencing the urge to whip out your dick and wave it
around, or whatever. right at this moment, someone coughs.
it's the first time you've noticed them in ten minutes. you
think: why did they cough just then? do they know?

no, they just coughed, and you've incorrectly assumed it has
something to do with you. after that, every time they cough,
you are stressing: was that because of me?

after this sets in far enough, you begin to flinch every
time the person coughs. every time you return to your
"impolite conduct thoughts" you tense up -- anticipating the
next cough -- and eventually even a normal, well-adjusted
idiot can tell you're up to something, because you're
repeatedly tensing up, flapping around when they cough, and
nervously glancing at them repeatedly


 

offline belb from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2017-03-18 12:21 [#02515797]
Points: 2251 Status: Lurker



i'd say medication but it hasn't done a lot for me, i'm
always having telepathic conversations with my fellow
patients then having to remind myself It Isn't Real.
are you diagnosed schizophrenic by the way? certainly sounds
like a delusional sort of mindset, sorry if that sounds
offensive


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 12:40 [#02515798]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



There seems to be a fair few schizophrenic people on here,
but they all seem like the nicest ones


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 12:44 [#02515799]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



i am not schizophrenic, but i'll have long imaginary
conversations with ben franklin or some shit. real people,
too. anyone, really. i'm just talking with myself, though,
and i know it. there's no issue knowing i'm talking with
myself. if you're wont to slip off into it all day, though,
you wind up rather disconnected, to say the least. my father
was fond of the "earth to mcfly" routine from back to the
future; that about says it.

i've yet to have a moment where i've caught myself
conflating imaginary conversations with real ones, but i
figure that would happen eventually if i just let it go. at
the same time, these imaginary conversations are how i work
out the answers to problems in my life and other peoples'
lives, so the idea of killing them off entirely seems
abhorrent to me. it's a guilty pleasure, we'll say, that has
the potential to run amok.

i current live with some who's schizophrenic and we've had a
lot of long talks about voices and chattering with yourself
and all that. i think the biggest head-fuck of all for those
in that situation is that humans can get to know one another
so well that it effectively mimics psychic activity. i have
no idea how i knew the guy was about to come over and throw
a hissy fit over something... or, well, i didn't even know
that. i just felt the vibe. some bullshit cometh my way. and
sure enough

i think acknowleding that things really can get this thick
when you live with people day in, day out will make you guys
feel a bit less mad


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 12:47 [#02515800]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



Im not surprised there are as many people on the edge of
madness as there are in current conditions.

I'm not mentally ill as such I dont think, even my own
internal dialogue has dissolved, my own voice has dissolved
since Ive gotten older, im quite robotic and going through
the motions when i go outside its the only way I can cope


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 12:49 [#02515801]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



I have alot of empathy for people experiencing this sort of
stuff, must not be able to get a moments rest,


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 12:51 [#02515802]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



I find things like this very grim so i make inappropriate
jokes to make myself more comfortable with what im reading,
i hope you all recover or manage, talking to people on here
will probably help i reckon, its good most of you realise
you have some sort of delusion, cos as mad as you are there
is always that nugget of rationality far down that says,
actually its just my brain playing tricks n mer


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:07 [#02515807]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



cos as mad as you are there is always that nugget of
rationality far down that says, actually its just my brain
playing tricks n mer


that is the real tragedy of it, actually. when my roommate
has a break, it can be very real to him. it's only later,
when he's sorted himself out a bit, that he realizes it was
crazy. worse are the things in between that, where
something's reasonable enough to be real but you're not sure
if you imagined it or not.

that's about where my problems join the party. i grew up in
a household where people communicated through the way the
walked on the floor and closed doors. my mom was the mozart
of slamming the basement door; one knew precisely how mad
she was, what she was mad at, and whose fault it was (hint:
not hers).

if footsteps start to sound like angry footsteps, it sends
my heart rate up. as i get to know roommates, i can
literally tell how they're feeling from how they move about
the house.

now, imagine i accidentally drop a book. i can hear one of
my roommates react and know it bothered them... or did it?
how much? should i apologize?

drives me fucking bonkers, it does


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:12 [#02515808]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



yeah i know how that feels when gf is pissed off she walks
around in a particular way closing doors slightly too hard
and walking in a stricter sense, its weird when people do
that scares me too


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:25 [#02515809]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



it's a mostly a woman thing, i have to admit


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:27 [#02515810]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



lol yes very passive aggressive


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:27 [#02515811]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



guys are more apt to just tell each other off. women loudly
indicate that their feelings have been hurt; then hide and
wait for your sincere apology

neither approach has the winning sauce


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:28 [#02515812]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



an i always make the same mistake of going "whats the
matter, what have i done now?"


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:29 [#02515813]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



I prefer it when someone tells me straight as it can be
resolved quicker rather than this pantomime act of asking
for absolution for a petty mistake,


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:30 [#02515814]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



puts you on edge, doesn't it?

the only cure is two hours of dont-give-a-fuck flailing to
luke vibert records per girlfriend problem


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:30 [#02515815]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



its better if there is no confrontation at all though and
people just accept others make mistakes,


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:31 [#02515816]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



if you press to resolve things immediately, it can just be
arguing. people often need to simmer down before they come
around to the right, friendly answers. at the same time, if
everyone just hides on it and waits for everyone else to
come around, often no one does


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:31 [#02515817]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



I ate the wrong slice of cake the other day, talk about a
hyperbolic reaction, she is very defensive when it comes to
food above all eklse


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:33 [#02515818]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02515816



i cant remember the last time i raise my voice in anger,
someone would probably have to deliberately kick me in the
balls to get a reaction out of me now


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:34 [#02515819]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



and i'll never have that recipe again; SLAM


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:36 [#02515820]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



nice MacArthur park reference


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:37 [#02515821]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



i just know it as a mopey song that whines on for ten
minutes about some trivial nonsense. i've never heard the
original song; i've just heard parodies of it on the
simpsons et al


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:37 [#02515822]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



i kind of like that song, even though its a shit analogy of
a failed love affair, thinking of a cake being rained on its
quite a good mental image


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:37 [#02515823]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



LAZY_TITLE


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:39 [#02515824]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



"Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh no!"

looool makes me laugh everytime


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:40 [#02515825]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



its the straight faced sincerity with which he sings it


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:40 [#02515826]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



you should go out and buy a whole cake, by the way.

...presuming, that is, it was not some special gift-cake
that has sentimental meaning: "auntie bev gave it to us and
she's not with us anymore." if that's the case, you should
never have touched it in the first place


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:43 [#02515827]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



yeah it was her nans 90s birthday cake and was very unique


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:44 [#02515828]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



if it's a sentimental, irreplacable gift cake and you eat
it; try to replace it with a store cake... that would not go
over well. that would, in fact, be Insensitive


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 13:44 [#02515829]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



i'm so sorry. i'm cracking up over this. it's all so
thoroughly predictable. you were fucked from the moment you
ate it


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:45 [#02515830]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



talking about Simpsons, first 9 or 10 seasons is still some
of the best TV ever, now its a weird shell of a show like
totally hollow


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 13:46 [#02515831]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02515829



yes i was like hmm that looks like a nice caked it must have
been left in the fridge for my lunch, seriously she almost
swore at me you know when someones eyes widen with anger


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-03-18 14:13 [#02515833]
Points: 8267 Status: Addict



there was a plot arc in The Sopranos that flipped the gender
script wonderfully. Tony's sister Janice is dating Bobby,
whose wife (Karen) has just died. Bobby is genuinely busted
up in it and leaves the last Ziti (pasta dish) Karen made in
the freezer for weeks. eventually, Jance gets Bobby to deal
with his grief by putting the Ziti in the oven at 350 and
eating it with him. that cake represents your bird's grief
over her nan's imminent departure and you just stepped in it
son


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-03-18 14:18 [#02515834]
Points: 8843 Status: Addict



Her nan literally said the other day "why am i still alive"


 


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