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Epic Magic Snacks's Dumb Gay Post About
Coke
Text by Epic Magic Snacks
Thoughts by Epic Magic
Snacks
Dumbness by Epic Magic Snacks
Visit
epicmagicsnacks.com for More Works by Epic Magic
Snacks





HANDSOME MAN





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positive brand experience
 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-02-15 22:06 [#02513094]
Points: 7850 Status: Addict



i'm working out. swinging around indian clubs. doof doof.
then it hits me: the way pepperoni tastes when just the
edges are starting to get singed to blackness. on top of
crispy crust. i promptly put down the indian clubs, and go
over to liewis: pizza! pizza. pizza

lewis did not want pizza. i was mournful. i went to have a
bowl of cereal. cereal! after that! ouch...

by the time i eat my cereal, the idea has echoed around in
lewis's delay line, and he knocks on my door: pizza! pizza.
pizza

we order pizza. lewis buys coca-cola in bottley bottles with
real cane sucrose. i think: is this because i was ranting
about psychological defense and avoiding forming positive
associations with the coca-cola brand?

naw. i don't even have to ask. he doesn't remember. he just
likes bottely bottle cokes with real cane sugar... but then,
before i realize it, i've busted out the paper plates.
forming the perfect cloying scene, the moment i admit i
enjoy coca-cola: with pizza, class parties, there was always
a 2ltr of coke and paper plates. and here i am, robotically
recreating memories i am fond of, involving coca-cola. w m w
would be horrified

anyways, i got my moment: towards the end of the second
slice -- the corner by the crust -- i got the exact taste
and crunch that prompted the pizza in the first place. i
awkwardly explained this to lewis: this is it, right here.
the moment of inception. oh! there's more of it! inception
pizza is the best pizza

innit.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-02-16 01:06 [#02513100]
Points: 20571 Status: Regular



I could get into this... how *I* ate pizza and coke awhile
ago today, and how your message... that just happens to be
about what I was doing awhile ago, is concealed proof that I
am being spied on. And *exactly* when I took the first drink
from this coke liquid, alex jones said "liquid tyranny" at
40 sec here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiAzQawA5I8
The artilects are out there, playing, doing things with
purposes we can't imagine. For whatever reason they can see
through your monitor and this one at least is trying to warn
you that coke is "liquid tyranny".

But something else is on my mind. I figured out music.
Search youtube for the complex organized
movement/sound/hypnotic patterns of "birds of paradise".
This is the same as human music. The more complex and
hypnotic your music, the more desperately you are trying to
successfully mate with a female. If your current music is
not intricate enough you have to make it even more
intricate. So by making good music you are essentially
communicating to the world that you have not successfully
won over the sexual selection of one of these alleged
"females" which is why you had to hone your music to be
better over time. So like music is really just mathematical
combinations, like tetris blocks are every single possible
combination of 4 squares that each have an adjacent square.
So it turns out that the pussy drought is so severe that we
have to create a birds of paradise hypnotic organization
that tries EVERY possible musical combination, in a vein
mass search attempt to scan the heavens like seti for even a
single female. Making all this music and never having any
response from a female is either proof that females don't
exist or that the fascist corporations have successfully
captured all the females. Can you prove that the mcdonald's
management isn't a sort of "they live" pecking order
hierarchy of sexual favors. As soon as walmart closes, all
the girls aren't allowed to leave and the management records
porn videos with them all night making mo


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-02-16 01:09 [#02513101]
Points: 20571 Status: Regular



ney off you again by letting you view the scraps of their
sexual and genetic and economic dominance. you're allowed to
watch on their controlled porn sites, that's all. All the
females are held in absolute checkmate by these highly
organized pimps and none of them can talk about this.


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-02-16 10:52 [#02513110]
Points: 7850 Status: Addict



40 seconds?
40 ounces
to "freedom"


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-02-16 10:59 [#02513111]
Points: 7850 Status: Addict



the complexity of bird songs probably has a bit to do with
runaway selection (see also: peacock tails) but there's a
lot more to it than that. outside of mating season, bird
calls form a sort of territorial dominance announcement: "to
anyone in earshot, this tree is mine."

the birds actively fight for turf. run each other off of
perches. the crosstalk between boids, despite being
antagonistic and competitive in nature, forms an impromptu
mesh network that aids the boid specios as a whole: if a
predator gets in between two bird yelling at each other, the
sudden ceassation of their bird argument (boidumint?) alerts
other birds in the area that something is up.

the calls themselves are interesting things. rhythm and
melody have certain sort of infinite-sequence qualities to
them: a riff implies another riff, and those first two riffs
imply a third. the next step in the riff structure is some
unfathomable MD5 hash of all the previous riffs. it takes a
solid brain to fluidly roll with the punches and keep the
sequence going. it's more or less the same thing as how a
jazz band works. boid7


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-02-16 11:03 [#02513112]
Points: 7850 Status: Addict



here's the sort of thing that actually nags at me, though:
did we both spontaneously decide to order pizza at the same
moment? if so, what is the mechanism behind this pizza
synchronicity, if any?

food for thought


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-02-16 11:24 [#02513115]
Points: 7850 Status: Addict



i thought: food sounds good. i went to have a slice of
pizza... and it wasn't there. i looked all over the fridge
three times. the pizza is gone. i'm not even sure where the
box went. either lewis had the munchies, or the lizards are
messing with me again

mostly, though, i am once again... mournful. i really,
really wanted a slice of pizza. now there's no pizza. o
tempora, o mores. specios pizzae


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-02-16 18:40 [#02513134]
Points: 7527 Status: Regular



Le Coca d'EpicMegaTracks


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-02-16 20:17 [#02513156]
Points: 20571 Status: Regular



 

offline SignedUpToLOL from I will die on 2017-02-17 10:05 [#02513201]
Points: 1366 Status: Regular



Le coq Erotique

 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-02-17 10:30 [#02513202]
Points: 7850 Status: Addict



must have really stuck w M w 's craw that i figured out the
yellow text before he did


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from I will die on 2017-02-17 10:45 [#02513203]
Points: 1366 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02513202



epicmagicsnacks.com is a good domain name, IMO


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-02-17 11:22 [#02513205]
Points: 7850 Status: Addict



you know this is a false fag operation because i would
totally have spelled it "snax"


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2017-02-17 21:39 [#02513327]
Points: 7850 Status: Addict



was on line at the store with a fellow bore and he remarked
upon the "crystal pepsi" and "what is this, the 80s?"

"no," i replied, "we're just caught in a feedback loop of
marketing and nostalgia."

a lady's head in the next aisle flicked up. shit. that was a
little too deep truth bullets. this might wind up #overherd
on twatter


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-02-18 04:19 [#02513386]
Points: 20571 Status: Regular



Whenever you post you should not make sense, it is the first
priority.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2017-02-18 06:02 [#02513387]
Points: 20571 Status: Regular



I just had a deep thought. Why don't I paint things into the
main parts of the world? Because the world itself is not
good enough to be painted on. which sounds insane but then
you think youtube is the world. the fakest world and thus
the realest. paintings can't grow in such a manipulated
centralized controlled landscape. That is why the ultimate
free internet has to come. In all previous internets, words
like butthole were censored by the authorities who were
paving hell with allegedly good intentions. So in
retaliation, we must make butthole.com the very center of
the internet. All censorship of butthole will gather and the
streisand effect will amply buttholes as the central
constellation of the new universe. And I predict that Epic
Magic Snacks will be the lord, the emperor, the sorceress,
the one, the supreme ruler of the buttholiverse as Epic
Booty Crax Epic Booty Crax Epic Booty Crax
Epic Booty Crax Epic Booty Crax
Epic Booty Crax

Thank you.


 


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