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 Now online (1)big ...and 162 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613449 Today 2 Topics 127500 |
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I just came acroos a thread over at WATMM The people there were describing me as a 'depressive troll'. To some degree, this is true. I posted a lot of whiny threads of the years. Seeing, that i did this over 10 years, and that it is all documented on the internet, made me realize, what a huge waste of time it was. I am actually not depressed, i was merly to lazy to do something about my situation. Suffering is normal, and mental illnesses do not exist. Such is life. Those threada were bullshit and a way not to confront my real issues. |
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Some more facts i came across recently: If you take antidepressants - you are a loser, if you visit a psychotherapist - you are a loser, if you think 'depression' is a real illness - you are dumb, if you think a good life is a happy life, you need to grow up. |
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fucking hell you're still going andy |
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If it makes you feel any better, you've made me feel better, by showing me that there are in fact others who realize that sometimes being miserable is just a part of life; doesn't mean much, etc. That being said, I do hope you find your form of Happiness one day. I get this impression that you just hang out on the internet all day doing nothing- xlt being a highlight of your days- but I'm sure there's more to your life than that. Maybe sunsets, nice drink, enjoying imagination, etc. But you definitely have kept up the same character over the many years on here, and just realize-- you become the character you represent. So uh- fake it til you make it, or whatever. Fucked up cuz a lot of troll-like people on here, are obviously intelligent (proven by thoughtful insights in political/philo/serious threads). So it's like, intelligence is somewhat a burden. Only the intelligent can be so miserable. With great power, comes great responsibility! For fucking serious. |
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people who have dedicated the last 20 years of their life to building a "persona" on the internet by racking up 10k post counts on uber nerd "trendy music" sites like this one ultimately end up depressed, and if they aren't, they deserve to be. |
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You just need to get laid, you're not depressed |
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fluoxetine = chemical lobotomy. I would rather be addicted to heroin and crystal meth. |
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Well, i do spend most of my time on the net. You are correct. And no, i don't do anything else (except work) I am not very intelligent either. Besides that i don't believe something like 'intelligence' actually exists. It is another bogus concept from the mentalistic school of psychology, which i despise. |
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True. I am not very motivated to undertake the needed steps to get sex....shit, too much work and porn is only a click away |
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jnasato wrote a very good post a year or two ago about how that sort of instant gratification ruins you, and if you're going to spank it, you should make a point of drawing it out into a long session. otherwise, your neurons will just hook around that 5-minute reward loop and it'll fuck you over as a functional breathing machine for your dick. wise words |
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like microwave dinners. |
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ding! |
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is this a new era of monoid??? |
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stouffer's lasagne has a new twist |
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Intelligence totally exists, mang. IQ and that shit is somewhat pointless (all paper-testing being created to separate mankind into classes), but if one is hungry and there is a meal in front of them- and one does not eat- that is somewhat retarded. And that is basically life. Those who are hungry and work towards eating, are the ones who have some sort of sense of meaning in their lives-- and that is intelligent. Hungry? Then get "food". Those who are hungry but refuse to hunt, are basically retarded, feel a sense of entitlement, are spoilt, lazy, and overall, do not deserve to eat the feasts which they think they hunger for. There are poor and stinky illiterate people who can't express themselves worth shit, but then they have to eat, so they mow lawns and clean toilets cuz they know that it can ultimately provide sustenance. That is way more elite and IDM than some rich ass kid who's complaining that his Mac Pro needs more RAM and his ganj is not crystally enough, who is not willing to get a job. Ironically, it turns out that a lot of "sheeple" or whatever the fuck who work cubicle jobs forever- though possibly naive, non-analytic thinking, non-introspective- are actually IDM as fuck. Though I realize that improvement in mind-power in these masses could indeed improve the world for the better, I highly respect such people who are willing to do, what they perceive needs to be done. |
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you know what? in a distant, waxing philosophical sense, i am 100% cool with that too. the problem is, every time i've jammed myself in it, i've slowly suffocated. i'm a goddamn shark. i need to keep moving, or i'll die. gnarrrrrr~ |
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maybe carpentry could work. i could hit things all day and be OK. carpentry shark~ |
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Well if you need to keep moving, get paid to keep moving. Get money for something you have to do anyway. Or fuck money- just live off of keeping moving. Money is a bullshit goal that often lands us doing activities we care nothing about. That being said, I love art and have been paid for it, but that makes art feel shit. So it's tough. Anyway, today is leg day at the gym, so that is good. Working out is one of the few things I've ever done that has brought direct fulfillment. The body is a godsend of happiness, so direct to everyone, yet so distant. I long for the ancient days of a society focused on enlightenment through mind and body advancement, creating art and doing flips, going to raves with Zeus as DJ. If I had unlimited money, I would help Monoid be a bodybuilder with functional fitness. Then I would document the whole adventure for underground electronic scene motivation. If Monoid becoming a statuesque example of physical fitness didn't positively motivate xlt, then there is no hope. |
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i get the keep moving thing, trades seem to work for that, you can just up and move and theres pretty much always work if your any use. |
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Thats life. The internet brought up a generation full of wankers. We can't go back in time anymore. |
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best wishes on another decade of glorious monoid-tronic |
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jerking off and having sex with a woman are two major different things.. |
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i remember when this was aphextwin.nu and i was Organ Grinder. fun times. |
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Could we ever go back in time? |
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"I am actually not depressed, i was merly to lazy to do something about my situation. " I was a lot like that in my mid-teens actually. Spent a lot of the time being miserable but not in any way that actually signified depression. I just thought life was shite, and accepted that because I couldn't be bothered to change anything. Managed to snap out of it fortunately |
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How did you handle the pain? If you stay at home, like me, you do this of course for a reason, to avoid unpleasant situations. Therefore if you stay at home you condition yourself to avoid things. Im thinking about which behaviors and habits i want to change, but this opens up a whole world of pain, because i have to leave all the comfort behind me. |
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I was 16 I think, and pretty much out of the blue I decided to force myself to break out of it. I had zero social life but I did have a couple of friends at school, and some of them did have (limited) social lives. So I asked if they wanted to meet up outside school. I think I was literally shaking with fear when I was waiting to meet my friend for the first time outside school. Looking back it seems so pathetic lol Looking back I think part of my malaise back then was simply down to my diet. I ate the shittest food imaginable, and it appeared to correlate with a chronic feeling of dulled consciousness and total lack of quick-thinking and wit (maybe that never went away lol). It went away fairly quickly when I changed my diet (again, I forced myself to eat better, I didn't enjoy the transition at first). That also probably helped me to acquire a normal social life |
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So it seems like i just have to face my fears and all these unpleasant emotions i was hiding from. I curse the psychotherapeutic and psychiatric profession for not offering any real help to me. |
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Facing one's fears brings the ultimate strength of self. ULTRA LEVEL |
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