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XLT over the years
 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-07-01 01:02 [#02473122]
Points: 10973 Status: Lurker



I just came acroos a thread over at WATMM LAZY_TITLE
The people there were describing me as a 'depressive troll'.
To some degree, this is true. I posted a lot of whiny
threads of the years.
Seeing, that i did this over 10 years, and that it is all
documented on the internet, made me realize, what a huge
waste of time it was.
I am actually not depressed, i was merly to lazy to do
something about my situation. Suffering is normal, and
mental illnesses do not exist. Such is life.

Those threada were bullshit and a way not to confront my
real issues.


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-07-01 01:13 [#02473123]
Points: 10973 Status: Lurker



Some more facts i came across recently: If you take
antidepressants - you are a loser, if you visit a
psychotherapist - you are a loser, if you think 'depression'
is a real illness - you are dumb, if you think a good life
is a happy life, you need to grow up.


 

offline ddrummondd on 2014-07-01 02:04 [#02473124]
Points: 558 Status: Regular



fucking hell you're still going andy


 

offline jnasato from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2014-07-01 07:00 [#02473126]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02473122 | Show recordbag



If it makes you feel any better, you've made me feel better,
by showing me that there are in fact others who realize that
sometimes being miserable is just a part of life; doesn't
mean much, etc.

That being said, I do hope you find your form of Happiness
one day. I get this impression that you just hang out on
the internet all day doing nothing- xlt being a highlight of
your days- but I'm sure there's more to your life than that.
Maybe sunsets, nice drink, enjoying imagination, etc.

But you definitely have kept up the same character over the
many years on here, and just realize-- you become the
character you represent. So uh- fake it til you make it, or
whatever.

Fucked up cuz a lot of troll-like people on here, are
obviously intelligent (proven by thoughtful insights in
political/philo/serious threads). So it's like,
intelligence is somewhat a burden. Only the intelligent can
be so miserable.

With great power, comes great responsibility! For fucking
serious.


 

offline djhardcode from Netherlands, The on 2014-07-01 14:40 [#02473132]
Points: 498 Status: Addict



people who have dedicated the last 20 years of their life to
building a "persona" on the internet by racking up 10k post
counts on uber nerd "trendy music" sites like this one
ultimately end up depressed, and if they aren't, they
deserve to be.



 

offline -crazone from smashing acid over and over on 2014-07-01 17:33 [#02473134]
Points: 11074 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02473122 | Show recordbag



You just need to get laid, you're not depressed


 

offline freqy on 2014-07-01 23:08 [#02473140]
Points: 18724 Status: Regular | Show recordbag




fluoxetine = chemical lobotomy.

I would rather be addicted to heroin and crystal meth.



 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-07-02 00:10 [#02473142]
Points: 10973 Status: Lurker | Followup to jnasato: #02473126



Well, i do spend most of my time on the net. You are
correct. And no, i don't do anything else (except work) I am
not very intelligent either. Besides that i don't believe
something like 'intelligence' actually exists. It is another
bogus concept from the mentalistic school of psychology,
which i despise.


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-07-02 00:13 [#02473143]
Points: 10973 Status: Lurker | Followup to -crazone: #02473134



True. I am not very motivated to undertake the needed steps
to get sex....shit, too much work and porn is only a click
away


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2014-07-02 01:12 [#02473146]
Points: 23949 Status: Addict | Followup to Monoid: #02473143



jnasato wrote a very good post a year or two ago about how
that sort of instant gratification ruins you, and if you're
going to spank it, you should make a point of drawing it out
into a long session. otherwise, your neurons will just hook
around that 5-minute reward loop and it'll fuck you over as
a functional breathing machine for your dick. wise words


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2014-07-02 01:24 [#02473148]
Points: 23949 Status: Addict



like microwave dinners.


 

offline ddrummondd on 2014-07-02 01:55 [#02473152]
Points: 558 Status: Regular



ding!


 

offline wavephace from off the chain on 2014-07-02 05:05 [#02473165]
Points: 3098 Status: Lurker



is this a new era of monoid???


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2014-07-02 05:26 [#02473169]
Points: 23949 Status: Addict



stouffer's lasagne has a new twist


 

offline jnasato from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2014-07-02 06:34 [#02473174]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02473142 | Show recordbag



Intelligence totally exists, mang. IQ and that shit is
somewhat pointless (all paper-testing being created to
separate mankind into classes), but if one is hungry and
there is a meal in front of them- and one does not eat- that
is somewhat retarded.

And that is basically life. Those who are hungry and work
towards eating, are the ones who have some sort of sense of
meaning in their lives-- and that is intelligent. Hungry?
Then get "food". Those who are hungry but refuse to hunt,
are basically retarded, feel a sense of entitlement, are
spoilt, lazy, and overall, do not deserve to eat the feasts
which they think they hunger for.

There are poor and stinky illiterate people who can't
express themselves worth shit, but then they have to eat, so
they mow lawns and clean toilets cuz they know that it can
ultimately provide sustenance. That is way more elite and
IDM than some rich ass kid who's complaining that his Mac
Pro needs more RAM and his ganj is not crystally enough, who
is not willing to get a job.

Ironically, it turns out that a lot of "sheeple" or whatever
the fuck who work cubicle jobs forever- though possibly
naive, non-analytic thinking, non-introspective- are
actually IDM as fuck. Though I realize that improvement in
mind-power in these masses could indeed improve the world
for the better, I highly respect such people who are willing
to do, what they perceive needs to be done.



 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2014-07-02 06:49 [#02473175]
Points: 23949 Status: Addict | Followup to jnasato: #02473174



you know what? in a distant, waxing philosophical sense, i
am 100% cool with that too. the problem is, every time i've
jammed myself in it, i've slowly suffocated. i'm a goddamn
shark. i need to keep moving, or i'll die. gnarrrrrr~


 

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2014-07-02 06:51 [#02473176]
Points: 23949 Status: Addict



maybe carpentry could work. i could hit things all day and
be OK. carpentry shark~


 

offline jnasato from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2014-07-02 09:09 [#02473180]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02473175 | Show recordbag



Well if you need to keep moving, get paid to keep moving.
Get money for something you have to do anyway.

Or fuck money- just live off of keeping moving.

Money is a bullshit goal that often lands us doing
activities we care nothing about.

That being said, I love art and have been paid for it, but
that makes art feel shit. So it's tough.

Anyway, today is leg day at the gym, so that is good.
Working out is one of the few things I've ever done that has
brought direct fulfillment. The body is a godsend of
happiness, so direct to everyone, yet so distant. I long
for the ancient days of a society focused on enlightenment
through mind and body advancement, creating art and doing
flips, going to raves with Zeus as DJ.

If I had unlimited money, I would help Monoid be a
bodybuilder with functional fitness. Then I would document
the whole adventure for underground electronic scene
motivation. If Monoid becoming a statuesque example of
physical fitness didn't positively motivate xlt, then there
is no hope.


 

offline gingaling from Scamworth (Burkina Faso) on 2014-07-02 10:02 [#02473182]
Points: 2281 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02473176



i get the keep moving thing, trades seem to work for that,
you can just up and move and theres pretty much always work
if your any use.


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-07-02 10:29 [#02473184]
Points: 10973 Status: Lurker | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02473146



Thats life. The internet brought up a generation full of
wankers. We can't go back in time anymore.


 

offline sneakattack on 2014-07-02 17:49 [#02473193]
Points: 6048 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #02473122



best wishes on another decade of glorious monoid-tronic


 

offline EVOL from a long time ago on 2014-07-02 18:27 [#02473195]
Points: 4921 Status: Lurker | Followup to jnasato: #02473180



@Zeus


 

offline -crazone from smashing acid over and over on 2014-07-02 18:39 [#02473200]
Points: 11074 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02473184 | Show recordbag



jerking off and having sex with a woman are two major
different things..


 

offline Oddioblender from Fort Worth, TX (United States) on 2014-07-02 20:17 [#02473204]
Points: 9601 Status: Lurker



i remember when this was aphextwin.nu and i was Organ
Grinder. fun times.


 

offline Nooge on 2014-07-11 21:09 [#02473455]
Points: 104 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #02473184



Could we ever go back in time?


 

offline drill rods from 6AM-8PM NO PARKING (Canada) on 2014-07-12 13:19 [#02473465]
Points: 1166 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #02473122



"I am actually not depressed, i was merly to lazy to do
something about my situation. "

I was a lot like that in my mid-teens actually. Spent a lot
of the time being miserable but not in any way that actually
signified depression. I just thought life was shite, and
accepted that because I couldn't be bothered to change
anything.

Managed to snap out of it fortunately


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-07-13 16:29 [#02473503]
Points: 10973 Status: Lurker | Followup to drill rods: #02473465



How did you handle the pain? If you stay at home, like me,
you do this of course for a reason, to avoid unpleasant
situations. Therefore if you stay at home you condition
yourself to avoid things.
Im thinking about which behaviors and habits i want to
change, but this opens up a whole world of pain, because i
have to leave all the comfort behind me.


 

offline drill rods from 6AM-8PM NO PARKING (Canada) on 2014-07-13 16:54 [#02473504]
Points: 1166 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #02473503



I was 16 I think, and pretty much out of the blue I decided
to force myself to break out of it. I had zero social life
but I did have a couple of friends at school, and some of
them did have (limited) social lives. So I asked if they
wanted to meet up outside school. I think I was literally
shaking with fear when I was waiting to meet my friend for
the first time outside school. Looking back it seems so
pathetic lol

Looking back I think part of my malaise back then was simply
down to my diet. I ate the shittest food imaginable, and it
appeared to correlate with a chronic feeling of dulled
consciousness and total lack of quick-thinking and wit
(maybe that never went away lol). It went away fairly
quickly when I changed my diet (again, I forced myself to
eat better, I didn't enjoy the transition at first). That
also probably helped me to acquire a normal social life


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-07-15 23:29 [#02473591]
Points: 10973 Status: Lurker



So it seems like i just have to face my fears and all these
unpleasant emotions i was hiding from.
I curse the psychotherapeutic and psychiatric profession for
not offering any real help to me.


 

offline jnasato from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2014-07-16 00:10 [#02473596]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02473591 | Show recordbag



Facing one's fears brings the ultimate strength of self.

ULTRA LEVEL


 


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