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Teat: Are you witty?
 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-08 21:07 [#02467394]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular



1: How is a banana like a prostitute?
2: How is a priest better than a toilet?
3: How is a computer the opposite of a chair?
4: How is a Kangaroo worse than a book?

Come up with some witty answers!


 

offline welt on 2014-02-08 21:29 [#02467395]
Points: 2036 Status: Lurker



1. Both are living things.
2. A priest consists of mind and matter and is thus superior
to a toilet which has no mind.
3. A chair is a very old type of instrument and a computer
is rather new. So in the sense in which the old is the
opposite of the new they're opposites.
4. A regular kangaroo is mortal while a book could
potentially go on existing until the end of the world.

These are the first answers that popped into my head. I'm
hot happy with them.


 

offline welt on 2014-02-08 21:30 [#02467396]
Points: 2036 Status: Lurker



.... NOT instead of hot..


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-08 21:37 [#02467397]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to welt: #02467395



Well....that wasn't funny...sorry


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-08 21:38 [#02467398]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular



2: The priest is always full of shit


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-08 21:39 [#02467399]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02467398



Eh sorry, doesn't make sense, need more practice


 

offline yann_g from now on 2014-02-08 21:57 [#02467400]
Points: 3772 Status: Lurker



1: How is a banana like a prostitute?

You can rent it for an hour.

2: How is a priest better than a toilet?

It reacts in funnier ways when shitted on top

3: How is a computer the opposite of a chair?

It's on the desk, facing the chair.

4: How is a Kangaroo worse than a book?

What does witty mean anyway?


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-08 22:02 [#02467401]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to yann_g: #02467400



Dunno. But you are not witty


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2014-02-08 22:58 [#02467404]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator



How would you recognise a witty answer/comment?


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-08 23:06 [#02467406]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #02467404



When i laugh.


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-08 23:07 [#02467407]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular



But why exactly do i laugh...i will never know it seems


 

offline sneakattack on 2014-02-08 23:37 [#02467408]
Points: 6049 Status: Lurker



1: How is a banana like a prostitute?

in both cases, consuming a little of the rotten part will
not hurt you.

2: How is a priest better than a toilet?

Pleading to the priest after a night of drinking is usually
less messy.

3: How is a computer the opposite of a chair?

A chair supports you while you work and while you relax;
a computer keeps you from doing either.

4: How is a Kangaroo worse than a book?

Both become easier to hold once you crack their spines, but
just as with priests and toilets, one choice leads to a
mess.


 

offline milfywhore on 2014-02-09 00:10 [#02467409]
Points: 399 Status: Regular



2: How is a priest better than a toilet?

He get's more ass from boys.


 

offline milfywhore on 2014-02-09 00:10 [#02467410]
Points: 399 Status: Regular



How is Autechre like a prostitute?


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-09 00:42 [#02467411]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to milfywhore: #02467409



Winner!


 

offline ddrummondd on 2014-02-09 02:07 [#02467412]
Points: 558 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02467411



Loser!


 

offline ddrummondd on 2014-02-09 02:12 [#02467413]
Points: 558 Status: Regular



5: Why does i_x_ten still keep creating new accounts?

answer: because he is a sociopath and nobody recognises his
witless shit on here however he portrays himself.

not funny but true. andy, go see a doctor. and get a fucking
haircut you look like nathan barley* you fucking retard.

*isn't the internet great when someone thinks they are
anonymous but it is so easy to trace them :)


 

offline milfywhore on 2014-02-09 02:31 [#02467422]
Points: 399 Status: Regular



Who is dat i_x_ten? U mean me?


 

offline wavephace from off the chain on 2014-02-09 02:55 [#02467424]
Points: 3098 Status: Lurker | Followup to ddrummondd: #02467413



look whose talking about hair cuts


 

offline ddrummondd on 2014-02-09 03:00 [#02467426]
Points: 558 Status: Regular



gotcha


 

offline jnasato from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2014-02-09 17:29 [#02467436]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02467394 | Show recordbag



1: How is a banana like a prostitute?
Old ones are bruised and ugly but especially sweet.

2: How is a priest better than a toilet?
They're not.

3: How is a computer the opposite of a chair?
A computer, you use to download imprints of ass-- chairs
download imprints of your ass.

4: How is a Kangaroo worse than a book?
A book cannot kick you in the face and then stomp on your
ribcage for stealing its book.


 

offline Junktion from Northern Jutland (Denmark) on 2014-02-09 17:35 [#02467437]
Points: 9713 Status: Lurker



Teat?


 

offline milfywhore on 2014-02-09 17:37 [#02467438]
Points: 399 Status: Regular



Doggie Treat


 

offline Descent from the salt of Satan's sweat. (United Kingdom) on 2014-02-09 19:02 [#02467442]
Points: 2298 Status: Addict



Being judged for wit by Monoid? It's like a double-amputee
judging ergonomics.


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-09 19:34 [#02467443]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to Descent: #02467442



You making fun of me is like a priest....humping a toilet,
withouth....a banana.....aww fuck it, you asshole!


 

offline -crazone from smashing acid over and over on 2014-02-09 20:02 [#02467445]
Points: 11231 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02467397 | Show recordbag



All in to laughs nowadays? That's good news!

I don't have the answers btw


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-09 20:39 [#02467447]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular



Actually this is from a book that deals with autism..


 

offline Descent from the salt of Satan's sweat. (United Kingdom) on 2014-02-09 20:40 [#02467448]
Points: 2298 Status: Addict



Also, I don't have witty teats. In fact, they're the least
funny part of me.


 

offline milfywhore on 2014-02-09 21:18 [#02467452]
Points: 399 Status: Regular



Meeeeen is dat fanny makin fan about typopos


 

offline milfywhore on 2014-02-09 21:19 [#02467453]
Points: 399 Status: Regular



6: Why is WATMM better than XLTronic?


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-09 22:05 [#02467457]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular



It meant TEST. However, since this board software is from
the last millenium, i wasnt be able to correct my typo


 

offline Descent from the salt of Satan's sweat. (United Kingdom) on 2014-02-09 22:21 [#02467459]
Points: 2298 Status: Addict | Followup to Monoid: #02467457



Better be sure you get it right, first time.


 

offline Haft from Tublin (Ireland) on 2014-02-09 23:52 [#02467472]
Points: 884 Status: Lurker



1.
Some people prefer to keep the skin after eating them, but
most throw it away.

2.
A toilet gurgles when swallowing a small boy's faeces.

3.
A chair sits and listens quietly to one arsehole for hours
at a time. A computer shouts the opinions of a million other
arseholes in an instant.

4.
Some books get better after more than one digestion.


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2014-02-09 23:54 [#02467474]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to Haft: #02467472



telling -
3.
A chair sits and listens quietly to one arsehole for hours
at a time. A computer shouts the opinions of a million
other
arseholes in an instant.


 

offline Haft from Tublin (Ireland) on 2014-02-09 23:58 [#02467479]
Points: 884 Status: Lurker | Followup to JivverDicker: #02467474



:)

I bet your couch smells rancid


 

offline Descent from the salt of Satan's sweat. (United Kingdom) on 2014-02-10 00:05 [#02467480]
Points: 2298 Status: Addict



I don't tend to use chairs if there's going to be NSA-style
surveillance on my backside. If they're going to tap
something, I don't want them tapping my ass.


 

offline JivverDicker from my house on 2014-02-10 00:05 [#02467481]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to Haft: #02467479



My house is impeccable! 8 )


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2014-02-11 01:43 [#02467547]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular | Followup to Descent: #02467459



Yeah, better be sure i get it right, first time....


 


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