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 Now online (2)-crazone belb ...and 356 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613453 Today 6 Topics 127500 |
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I want to pussy fuck you in the mental showers |
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listen2MeCopyPaste |
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Ps. Luke Vibert |
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I wake up every day, and there is stuff to do; things to make. I use tools to make things and do stuff, because they accelerate and expand what I am individually capable of. One such tool is the computer. I get an amazing amount of stuff done on computers, and I’ve come to rely quite heavily on them to make the gears in my life turn. Work, family, my personal projects, ordering from Domino’s Pizza — all of these things are gradually getting vacuumed up into the Internet. Ziggurats like Microsoft, Google, Facebook, and Apple squabble to own the master key — your whole life, as run by Apple. Or Google. Or Microsoft. I’m just an individual trying get stuff done, and I’ll use whatever works. It’s extremely irritating to be treated as a “thing” that a bunch of rich kids are fighting over. I got involved with these companies in the first place because they allowed me to get a lot of stuff done, but once we became enmeshed they put a gun to my head: keep feeding us your cash, or we’ll shut your whole life off. No work will get done, no books will be written, no e-mails will be sent to mom, no funny cat videos will be liked…. unless you become a piece of intellectual property owned by a bunch of squabbling billionaires. I think a guy named George Orwell wrote something about this, but he missed the capitalism angle. |
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As my disgust for all these companies skyrockets, I seek alternatives. I’ve become exponentially aggressive in taking ownership of my digital life, because I fear if I wait much longer, I’ll never be able to escape. Facebook technicians will break into my house and forcibly graft a device to me that announces whenever I move my bowels (and publicly shame me if my movements are not regular enough). I could become some crazy old coot and go live in the woods for the rest of my life, but I quite like everyday society. I’d like to participate in all the wonders life has to offer without being “branded” like a cow. Are you a Google Person or a Microsoft Person or a Facebook Person or a Samsung Person or a Verizon Person? It’s as gross as factory farming, except we’re the cattle. |
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If Microsoft were a pizza delivery place, it would go something like this: 1. You see an ad for a delicious pizza. It looks real good. Price is reasonable. You decide to give ‘em a ring and order a deluxe pie. 2. The person answering the phone sounds young, hip, enthusiastic. Your order is quickly taken, and the anticipation starts to build. 3. The pizza arrives after 29 minutes of the promised 30-minute delivery time. So far so good. But you open the box, and…. 4. The pizza is raw. Uncooked. What’s more, many of the toppings you expected aren’t there. Angry, you phone them up… 5. “Please hold for tech support. For increased priority, you can sign up for the Gold package…” 6. Finally, you get someone on the line. They explain that they won’t be able to deliver a baked pizza until third quarter 2016, and if you want the rest of your toppings, you can have a handful delivered each week for a monthly subscription fee of just $10 ($100 if you pay for a year up front). Furthermore, by ordering a pizza from them you agreed to a binding contract full of long legal words you don’t understand. 7. Disgusted, you hang up the phone and put the pizza in the oven yourself. It turns out like crap. You don’t have one of those brick-fired pizza ovens that pizza places have, and half the toppings are missing. |
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8. You eat, but you don’t eat well. You feel distinctly unsatisfied and more than a little screwed over. 9. Next week, you try to order a pizza from somewhere else — screw those clowns after last week! — only to find there is no one else. Microsoft, in the middle of the night, has gone around town and burned all the rival pizza places down, captured the managers, and held their families for ransom; their chestnuts to the fire, etc. 10. You’re left with a choice of A) Willingly get screwed over B) Make the pizza yourself (Linux). Obviously, you pick B. 11. Annoyed that you’ve chosen B) over A), Microsoft buys out the Pepperoni manufacturer (Office Software), and the dairy that makes the Mozzarella (Video Games). “Can I get half a pound of pepperoni and a bag of mozzarella for my pizza?” “That’s only available by subscription when you order a Microsoft Pizza. The cows won’t be milked until third quarter 2016, so you can expect your mozzarella sometime in 2017. Meanwhile, please pay us $10/month.” 12. Microsoft takes all the money they’ve strongarmed people out of, and uses it to corner the Pizza industry in the next town over. More below the cut. |
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There is no silver bullet for this problem. The only answer is for millions of individuals like myself to step up and clean up the mess: once I get all the bugs worked out of my own email system, I’m setting one up for my parents. Then maybe another for a friend, in exchange for a case of beer. Linux (Ubuntu in particular) is getting really good. It still needs a bit more elbow grease before it’s grandma-proof, but the days of beating your head over Xconfigurate are starting to end, and not a moment too soon. Become a free agent, or risk being stuck on the same team forever. |
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that's copyright infringement. you're going to jail, buddy |
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Balls |
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Deep |
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you can read those rants of mine in their original context . listen2meTalk is Chris Westphal of Chicago, Il and works in the financial industry. . |
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ugh stale farts |
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Beer farts |
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Epic while that other guy may be involved i think these posts are originating from none other than Jaime/Richard Cochran AKA "asshurtmacfags" also of Chicago. She is famous for trolling a Phish forum in the 1990s and may have moved on to the world of techno since being banned on phantasy tour. |
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spammer doxing her/his/itself, but not having the balls to post anything actually useful. because they were surgically removed |
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What would you consider useful? Maybe a link to your record label? |
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i was also in the paper in the 90s, twice. in the 00's i was in three episodes of a TV show, and in the papers once or twice more. being an autistic nerd is clearly a better path to fame and fortune than trolling. |
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Let me guess, you were on "To Catch a Predator" |
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That's great, now lets start talking about freqy again. |
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why dont i see your songs in vice magazine then if you're so famous? im just alerting you to the fact that you may be dealing with a more dangerous troll than some banker-by-day-knob-twidder-by-night dork like in the pics above. my profile doesn't even say i live in chicago so not sure why youd think im that person? |
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i'm not sure who's more sad: spammer or listen2MeTalk. spammer goes around being a nob and rationalizing it as "art," but at least (s)he's achieved some semblance of recognition for it. listen2MeTalk has no such pretentious delusions, but also nothing to show for his effort except a half-aspie that's baffled someone gives that much of a shit about his boring-ass life. |
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How do you know I don't have any pretentious delusions? |
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sorry. my mistake. i'm not sure why i keep giving you the benefit of the doubt; it never pays off. i guess i'm just a generous and hopeful person. |
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lol r u hopeful that someone will someday notice and appreciate your genius and elevate you from your basement? |
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F.R.E.Q.Y |
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i'm bored of freqy. he hogged all the oxygen yesterday; now it's my turn. |
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Fucking Reprobate Entering Quixotic Yutz |
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hey. stop it. you're here to harass me, right? |
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i love both you and freqy |
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23 Norwich Road? |
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