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 (nobody)...and 385 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613455 Today 1 Topics 127500 |
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Next week i will go to court, and meet the Judge. What is the best way to behave in such a situation? |
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like an upstanding, respectful citizen. seriously, respectful discourse, even if you disagree with the judge, will get you a long way. also, wear a suit or at least button up shirt and a tie. |
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But how do i defend myself? I can't pay a lawyer to do this for me |
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You see, I will lie not because i expect something from it but because the damage i had to endure. And no it is not traffic court |
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what a stupid fucking question. you will act as yourself? or will you do as some strangers tell you to do? i hope you get locked up. |
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where's hanal |
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Sure i will act like i do here. I will speak broken english while listening to aphex twin on my headphones |
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Shed tears of silver Monoid |
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what hedphukker said. also, there will be a court person who explains to everybody all the rules and stuff you can do, as well as how to apply for a public defender. that person will hand out all the necessary forms for you to fill out. it could take up to an hour or more before the judge even enters the room. btw, have fun! |
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to blindly throw yourself into the arms of the criminal justice system and expect shit will come out alright is fucking retarded. get a lawyer you moron |
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I have no money. Do you understand this? |
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see u in jail asshole |
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It is not that serious, i didn't hurt anybody |
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I am not going to jail |
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please tell us what happened ? |
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ask him if he believes in vampires, that sounds like an interesting question. if he becomes exasperated ask if ghosts are a more reasonable option. |
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My landlord is making trouble |
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And i have no rich uncle in bel air |
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i hope you win. |
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You have no social interactions and you happen to go to the court ??? I have plenty social interactions and never had to face a judge... strange isn't it ?! |
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at least when u go to jail you will lose your virginity |
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How der his formula is |
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Watch out for your bum, watch out for your bum, and if it happens anyway just squeeze and it's more fun |
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Strange isnt it misantroll. But neglecting all human interactions can have the same bad results as hanging out with the wrong people or the inability to be alone for a while.. |
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Strange isnt it misantroll. But neglecting all human interactions can have the same bad results as hanging out with the wrong people or the inability to be alone for a while.. |
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i remember when i moved out my last place. landlord was an iranian nuclear physicist (?!) and all-around tightwad. he mentioned that my security deposit had accrued interest, and i could practically feel him salivating. i told him to keep it and he practically shit himself with glee. i pity whoever moved into that shithole after me |
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You weren't paying attention monoid... Which side are you on? Are your asking for it? |
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Too many "practically" |
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when i was briefly living in the united states i almost went to jail when two cops caught me urinating on hollywood blvd. however, i was extremely polite to them, handed them my i.d. and explained/lied to them that i'm "from germany and didn't know public urination is illegal in the united states". they let me go then. so maybe being polite and being almost "submissive" might help you at court, too. |
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Yeah yeah, the powerless always have to be 'polite' be it women or minorities. I will be polite, very polite, but deep down inside i know i would kill these people if i could. |
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The last statement is a bit problematic, but i aknowledge that i have these feelings towards the authorities and the economic powerful people. However, i think it would be better to get rid of the whole system altogether would falling back behind our current order. |
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what forgive monoid ¿ u hush... |
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landlord? Does this mean you left your moms basement? |
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Yes, i am living alone for over 10 years. And now i am looking forward to move into a new apartment. |
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just tell the police about ur crime |
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To represent a simpler time, you have to dress exactly like Keith from the Firestarter vid. The judge will nod and hand you mints. |
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Be strong in Big House Monoid |
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Mommies cupboard is a little light. |
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just as a note, public urination is in no way an arrestable offense in the us. they would have given you a ticket if anything. if you're drunk and disorderly while doing so, that's a different story... |
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Walk in 5 minutes late, wearing a t-shirt like this and carrying a ghettoblaster playing . The judge will see that you're a "character" and probably let you off with a caution. Seriously though, bite your lip and appear contrite, no matter how much you disagree with it. I swear half of the court process is a test of your ability to control yourself. If you start shouting or even shaking your head when they're talking to you, you're fucked. Oh yeah and never argue with a judge, unless you are 100% certain of the point of law (that is the only thing that matters to them). I once (successfully) disobeyed a judge's directive, but only: A) I knew this particular area of law very well and was absolutely certain that to comply with it would have caused my employer to be breaking the law and more importantly, would jeopardise innocent people. B) I got three separate lawyers to confirm this. C) I was prepared to call their bluff when the police said that if we didn't comply, I and two colleagues would be taken in to court in handcuffs to explain ourselves. D) I knew that the judge concerned would also know that he wasn't entitled to ask what he was asking for and that he would be put in his place (and look bad for doing it) if I asked the case to be heard in another court. hedphukker, it's strange isn't it, I normally have no problem with someone being busted for that when sober, but when they're on the beer, I actually think that is pretty acceptable. If pubs won't let you in (because you're drunk) and there are no public conveniences around, what are you supposed to do, piss yourself? If you're doing it through someone's letterbox, fair enough, but down a back alley it's (morally) fine. Plus, absolutely every red-blooded male will have done it at least once in their life. |
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Innocence¿ |
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I plan on slithly shaking my head if the lawyer of the other side is speaking. Why do you think is this a bad idea? Should i just pretend that i am listening and thinking about the words? Well, tomorrow i will go to court. I will let you know how it turned out |
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Bring a pen and paper or somesuch. I'd make notes on what other people have said and all the points they make, so you can come back at those points and counter them one-by-one in a calm methodical way. Much, much better than getting visibly frustrated and flustered. Never been in court lol but I've done a lot of debating and big decision-making in academia and industry |
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the "system" is tracking everything you type, and will be used as evidence against you. i hope. |
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yeah, i even seent both a teh candidates doing the same thing during the debates even! and idk, that kinda seemed like some important shit they were doing, so... yeah, good advice. don't worry about monoid, his subconscious is just now processing that shooting at that movie in that place where all teh peopke dead. and teh gai wuz on tv who the cia used in their mk ulta program to frame because he looked liek that, ya know, on drugs when he was being arraigned. he gon be guilty as charged tho... look at the evidence, man! open n shut slam dunk case closed lock em up! |
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just go on a rant about everything you've told us over the past decade and they probably let you go out of pity |
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Well the law has spoken. I will get an invoice in the days so this is when i can really decide if that was all worth it. One thing i tried to achieve in court i actually did achieve. I didn't have a lawyer so i dunno if it made any diffrence what i told the judge. I felt pretty helpless. |
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woooooo well done monoid. |
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