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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-12-10 10:30 [#02425205]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.
The 'nice guy' explained
So, discuss. Are you a 'nice guy'? I think my dad was a nice guy.
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Torture Garden
from Feelin' 2Pacish on 2011-12-10 11:07 [#02425212]
Points: 974 Status: Lurker
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bullshit psychoanalysis is bullshit
/thread
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AphexAcid
from Sweden on 2011-12-10 11:20 [#02425213]
Points: 2568 Status: Lurker
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heartless bitches dot com?
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melack
from barcielwave on 2011-12-10 11:21 [#02425214]
Points: 9099 Status: Regular
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i dont think he thinks i think if he thinks then hes not the real nice guy he thinks he is
just a selfimposed attitude to a different soul dont you think? think about it + bullshit psychoanalysis is bullshit
/thread
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-12-10 12:00 [#02425216]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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This thread is about 'nice guys' and not your opinion on psychoanalysis. So please be nice and stay on topic. Thankx Dudes.
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Falito
from Balenciaga on 2011-12-10 12:11 [#02425217]
Points: 3974 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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Be thankful with what you got
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welt
on 2011-12-10 14:22 [#02425223]
Points: 2036 Status: Lurker
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what irritates me about the "nice guy"-discussion is the choice of the word "nice".
a person who genuinely qualifies as a "nice person" is a good-hearted person, who acts nicely, because it's his very own will to be a pleasant companion.
but in the context (!) of the "nice guy"-discussion the term "nice guy" usually (!) refers to people who try to act nicely, because - due to their insecurity - they don't dare to be the demanding egomaniacs they truly are. (they are not truly nice guys. they are like warrior-types which - due to bad luck - have lost all their weapons and physical strength and now falsely claim to be pacifists.)
once you take that into account the seeming riddle - "why do women not want nice guys if being nice is a positive quality?" - dissolves. because the people that were being labelled "nice guys" were assholes in disguise all along.
.... by the way. i'm not sure to what extent the nice-guy-discussion accurately depicts a real phenomenon. but WITHIN that discussion - be it ultimately a useful discussion or a nonsensical discussion - it irritates me that the word "nice" is used for insecure rather than for genuinely nice people.
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taking_the_piz
on 2011-12-10 15:29 [#02425230]
Points: 795 Status: Lurker
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I'm freakin James Bond, dude!
@ welt: There's a difference between being a gentleman and being the "nice guy".
Discussions like this usually fall flat on their face because people tend to oppose being an egomaniac, to being the nice guy. There's a middle ground here. It isn't either, or. There are people who are being too nice, and there are people who are too much on the opposite of that. It'd probably be more realistic to call this the "Too Nice Guy" thread.
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big
from lsg on 2011-12-10 16:32 [#02425231]
Points: 23624 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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I'm sick and fucking tired of this "nice guy" cliche. If you think you're a nice guy, you're not.
You somehow think you're a "nice guy." Therefore you think you deserve women because you're nice. Do you not see how big of a fucking asshole you are?
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welt
on 2011-12-10 18:17 [#02425234]
Points: 2036 Status: Lurker | Followup to taking_the_piz: #02425230
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of course there's a middle-ground between 'being nice' and 'being an egomaniac'.
i didn't deny that. i expressed irritation about the way the term 'nice' is used in these discussions. i find it absurd that not only some people but many people define 'being nice' as 'being insecure and therefore acting in a manner that is superficially nice, even though you would be more rude if you just weren't so insecure' as opposed to 'being friendly because you just want to be a friendly person'.
this has nothing to do with assuming that a person must be 100% nice or 100% non-nice. these things, obviously, come in degrees.
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Monoid
from one source all things depend on 2011-12-10 18:51 [#02425235]
Points: 11005 Status: Regular
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The term 'nice guy' is insofar incorrect, because there are, of course also women who display this personality style.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2011-12-10 19:21 [#02425237]
Points: 21423 Status: Regular
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In america, sex is taboo, corrupt, evil, for sale on the black market only to scientologist actors and their ilk and there's little soulless geico geckos and monsanto copyrights floating in the gametes poisoning all future genetics and culture.
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steve mcqueen
from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2011-12-10 20:24 [#02425241]
Points: 6531 Status: Addict
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i spent a good 15 minutes hanging around the outside of a mcdonalds by one of those american style cinema complexes the other week listening to my friend doing an act that i reckon results from this on the phone.
from the one end of the conversation i heard they were talking about precisely fuck all but it was a incredibly serious,complicated fuck all.
whatever gets u off i suppose. who cares,except i had to stand round smoking fags & watching people get drive throughs.
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robbie_eleckt
from time to time on 2011-12-10 21:53 [#02425246]
Points: 1401 Status: Lurker
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humans...
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jnasato
from 777gogogo (Japan) on 2011-12-10 21:55 [#02425248]
Points: 3393 Status: Regular | Followup to welt: #02425223 | Show recordbag
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This.
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Ceri JC
from Jefferson City (United States) on 2011-12-11 00:01 [#02425259]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Followup to Torture Garden: #02425212 | Show recordbag
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For once, we agree. :)
There's a good line in Monoid's link, "If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it."
It staggers me how lacking in self-awareness many people are and how they take no responsibility for their life and perceive everything bad that happens to them is solely the 'fault' of external sources. Even if it's as simple as saying, "I always seem to date crazy girls who treat me poorly..." Well, you're the one who is picking them, dipshit.
I have a friend who is a lot, judging by the description, like Steve McQueen's friend. A girl has strung him along and messed with his heart for over a decade now and because the poor sod was head over heels for her, he put up with it. We have tried to talk him out of it for years, to no avail. The problem was only fixed when he gave her an ultimatum and then stuck to breaking it off when she didn't capitulate.
Personally, I am now too old to care about getting embroiled in these "dramas" and I make it clear to anyone I date that if you start dicking me about, it will be over swiftly and permanently. It has worked well for me, so far.
taking_the_piz: In work, the women tell me I'm a gentleman and my staff find me approachable. I'm also perceived as being quite ruthless and unaccepting of failure, so not a "nice guy" in the traditional sense. I don't really see a pairing of gentlemanly conduct and being some spineless push over.
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