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 Now online (1)big ...and 254 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613461 Today 4 Topics 127500 |
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depression |
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Depression's gotta hold of me, depression, I wanna break free. depresion's gotta hold of me, depression, gonna kill me! |
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Wasup man? I feel the same way right now. I just lost my job over something retarded. so now i'm homeless and unemployed. Contemplating on buying a habachi for my car. ): |
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*Hibachi |
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like a rabbits turd |
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cuz there little balls |
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me2 |
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*passes out some e for everyone* *turns up the happy hardcore* |
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i could never take e just for this reason. i seen all my friends come down. i know i'd kill myself. i tried dxm once. i felt like life will never be that good again (as tripping balls). matter of fact i'm pretty sure i have an addiction problem. i lost my apartment due to drugs. i lost my job due to alcohol. that's what they say an addiction problem is right? maybe i should consider meetings? sorry, thinking aloud. |
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You probably should be considering enjoying life.... |
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Life itself is very enjoyable from an outside perspective, but from within social circles and close connections and trying to express love and to reject temptations and wrongfulness at every turn sometimes gets to be dizzy you know. |
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It is life... IT IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN IN MOVIES... |
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But you see... passing out the e and turning up the happy hardcore was The Love, mang. I am giving Love to this thread; not rave. |
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I love you all so much |
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<333 |
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depression is nasty. gotta get out of the house, excersize,express, be creative, go out on a limb. cant get trapped in those mind loops |
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we are slowly getting up into the love achievement : |
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i dunno man. you just gotta keep trying. dont give up! if im on a computer i look at things like that and sort of snap out of it if my mind's feeling muddy/sad/depressed |
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what about depression in terms of unrequited love, or more like, love which wont ever happen anyway, and even it did, would end in shambles like every other love-relationship. |
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I hate you PS : I love you |
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i think the correlation there is that you know you can't support a relationship in real world terms ie; financially. so maybe you sabotage relationships to avoid getting hurt even more the longer they continue on when you already believe that they have no way to progress past infatuation/lust/moment. or that you have been so disgusted/decieved by woman(s) that you do not desire to put in the extra effort to chase one. and that you must bring your behavior in line with your attitude so you give up? that's just me, literally. |
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there's that illusion though, created by years of tradition and romance movies and novels that "love' is this supposed everlasting fountain of joy that never ends. and once it does end it ends horribly, with lots of reactionary emotions, well for the people who are the ones being left behind. What is worse, seeing a road ahead of you that might equal a time of love and deep emotion with a lover, and choosing to be saddened by the prospect of knowing you're not going to walk down that road - or - to follow down that road and be subject to a finality that will most likely result in terrible pains beyond any withdrawl. |
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that kitten video helped. |
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I'm watching calisthenics videos on YouTube, and there's a Japanese video ad for back acne cream... So I'm wondering if somehow they calculated that people interested in fitness might be using steroids, which might result in back acne, so they are directing the ads towards those roid users... Deep fucking AI, mang. And sometimes it's time to let go, and sometimes it's like... fuck it- why not go all the way? I've pushed a lot of shit to the limit and done CRAZY FUCKING THINGS for idealistic loves. In fact, I spent the last 9 years of my life trying to get an ex back. Let's just say that things don't always work out as they do in films, AHAHAHA..... But sometimes they do. But really, REALLY- be careful what you wish for, cuz after a looong fucking time of working toward something, things may not turn out the way you imagined, anyway. So then it gets really fucked, cuz you got everything you ever wanted, but then you realize that it's not actually what makes you happy. So then you realize you sacrificed your whole life to get what you thought you wanted, and then you learn that it's actually only mediocre, cuz context has totally changed. But I say "go for it" whenever it's for love or passion shitz, cuz why not? Don't get all stalker murder+suicide mode, though. Don't hurt people and eat children and shit, but..... There is nothing that states that any relationship is impossible. However, if on a deserted island, you and the other wouldn't work, then you're fucked, and it really is pointless. If you did work before or would work in such a confined context, then at least it's a start. What I've learnt after 9 years, though... is that... yes, the archer who focuses on the goal hits the bullseye, and the archer who focuses on the prize misses the target. So PATH is SO FUCKING IMPORTANT, with regard to achieving anything or getting out of any rut or that kind of shit. The MEANS to the end is fucking everything. So, SO important. |
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+1 |
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I spent the last 9 years primarily focusing on feeling myself and composing music and doing art shit, to the point that I became really, REALLY poor. I tried to live idealistically in a non-idealistic world. Obviously, with regard to getting some girl back, that is the most retarded thing I could've done. However, I pushed to the edge of near-homelessness and also sanity, so I'm grateful for the experience. I think the point I'm trying to make... IF ANY! [hah] is that if you really believe in something or want something, then fucking go for it. People quit shit all the time, but they rarely ever seriously start, either. Either quit fucking fast and MOVE ON. Or push to the fucking edge of death, and give it your damn best; fucking show the Universe that nothing can stop you, cuz you fucking rock. I chose to not be homeless, because I realized that after that, getting back up is near impossible. I realized that in general, this planet is pretty fucked, so I had 2 choices: be miserable on the streets OR be miserable with central air in a nice apartment with nice toys After that, the answer became so obvious. So when I get back to America, I'm just gonna work tons of freelance shit (I got unlimited lined up), save money, then just... live for a bit. I'm gonna see what not focusing on idealistic happiness is like for a change! |
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yeah right now youre at that pont of looking back on it all, I think I just got a sniff of that love stuff recently and it's poking at my hearstrings a little too much. Besides, the girl already has a Boyfriend so it's just like this horrible little thing. I would go into it more personally but i dont want to sow any bad seeds if you know what I mean. This forum has no PM thing. I just hope It'll go away quickly. |
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For my last last shot, I made a 15 minute film for the girl, which I worked on for 10 days straight- some 12~16 hour working sessions, little sleep-, neglecting freelance work and fucking shit up (already sold most of my shit by that time with lotta bills backed up, etc.). No, she did not say yes to me- despite its relatively high production values!- but I pushed to the limit. It was worth it, and I regret nothing. Cuz now I can work and make/save money and be relatively "normal", haha, and I will NEVER think "what if?!" kinda depressing thoughts, cuz I sincerely did the best I could to try to get my girl back. And that is that. The Universe can ask nothing more of a person than sincerity and effort, and I'm a better person for spending 9 years on one ridiculous goal. Had I got her back, though, I'd have been the happiest ever! But since I gave my all, I am actually the happiest I can be. Either way, I won. |
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I've got some shite with my girl right now wich makes me depressed..but I wondered if maybe it's the end of the summer why we all feel a bit down? |
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girls: you can't live with them nor without them. Sadly it's true ;-) |
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I think that has a LOT to do with it. it's been cold and windy and the sky feels different, It's like some form of menstruation. |
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girls suck. the only thing good is when you start having this "woah I dudged that bullet" thoughts about them and you get back in control of yourself. After being dump I learned its all about power and ego. I reckon chemical effects of love in the brain are nice, but there are so many more cost effective drugs out there its a joke. Its nice to feel someone is there by you side for you. but friends can serve that porpouse too. "family" is nice. when a girly dumps you you just feel powerless so your ego suffers its quite pathetic really. I have also chased behind girls that dumped me so I know. the sooner you get a grip of yourself the better. hang out with friends and get fucked up. have some fun. that will make it better. |
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i never been in love... :( |
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really? how old are you? |
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13 year |
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there is still a chance for love to me |
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Maybe.. |
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marry a pillow |
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