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 (nobody)...and 123 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613408 Today 0 Topics 127499 |
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do a joke |
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Guybrush |
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how can you 'do' a joke it has to happen |
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i ate carl ssagan |
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I went to Amsterdam fully expecting to blow all my money on whores, but I visited a cafe and my plan went to pot. |
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why did the crab get thrown out the bar because he was giving it all this. *jokes you do dont work on internets' |
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Ha ha! Very good. |
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what's the loudest noise a horse can make? . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . .. . .. . . . . nnnnngh. _________________________ another good one: if a dog enters a bar and the bartender is dead, what happens then? . . ... .. .. . ... . . . . . the dog pours himself a glass of brandy. ok, that's enough jokes for today. thank you for your attention, bye. |
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why do Jews love to watch porn in reverse? Their favourite part is when the hooker gives the money back. |
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What do you get when you cros AAAAAAAAGH my dick fell off. |
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is anyone else having problems with the site? like for example making a new topic? ever since the server was moved loads of shit doesn't work anymore (by the way this isn't a joke) i am using a mac, leopard 10.5.8 |
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why did the chicken cross the street? to score some crack cocaine. |
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i was listening to a notorious BIG tube at work and i slighty turned my head so the jack went partially outside, and i got how aphex twin got that kind of metallic bird effect at the end of windowllicker. |
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* what |
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knock knock |
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Last good joke i read here was by earthleakage. I loved it but it's slipped my mind. It was quite long. |
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who'se theare |
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Peter Andre says: My breakdown-I´ll never go back to that mental hospital again. Why didn't he just go to the garage the stupid idiot :D |
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It was to do with a sinister coffin. |
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You've finally got it!!! Well done! |
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Ah yes thanks! |
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My mum loved it! All she reads are thrillers and detective stories so it was perfect. |
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Who's your fave fictional detective/cop? |
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banana |
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Sherlock Holmes, predictable but I've loved him since I was a kid. |
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Miss Marple is always great with her dithering ways. I like the Classics really. Jonathon Creek wasn't bad as my mate does loads of 'Magic' and it's fun trying to work it out. |
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Inspector clouseau has some good angles. |
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Sherlock is definitely up there with the very best. House MD was loosely based around him. The name (Holmes/house). The fact they took drugs and were excellent musicians. The medical detective work of course and the friend (Wilson/Dr Watson) Haven't seen that new one with Downey Jr but i intend to at some point. Isn't there also one coming out with Sacha Baron Cohen? As for my fave detective. After a lot of thought i'd say Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks. Tough one though. From Columbo to Dexter, i like a lot of them. |
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Ah yes that Creek show was quite watchable. Apparently Alan Davies is a fucking mental case. Not Fry's little lapdog at all. |
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I enjoyed the Downey Jr Sherlock, the fighting scenes in the trailer really put me off. I won't spoil it but he fights in a way only Sherlock could. I never put the Holmes and House, Watson and Wilson together! My Mum would have spotted that a mile off. The Sacha Baron Cohen thing must be waiting for a gap after the success of the Downey film. Columbo was fun, it reminds me of pretending to be ill to get off school and watching it in my pajamas. |
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My friend has a neodymium ring on his finger that can do all sorts of seemingly impossible stuff. |
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Had a little read about Neodymium. I'm a little jealous and want a magician friend too. |
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The funny thing is he blows your mind for the first hour, then gets pissed out of his brains really quick and shows you how to do it! The ring, throwing paper over your head, placing things under glasses as everyone is talking... It's all miss direction and showmanship really. I shouldn't say anymore, I'll be as bad as him. |
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A bloke on the street once gave me a few predictions. He was spot on until he mentioned me having x amount of brothers and sisters. he was wrong by one sister, until years later i found out i had a secret sister. Completely baffled me. |
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yes |
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There are only four ways according to my mate that 'magic' works, most of the time and art is pretending to do one trick as the other one has been done. |
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Awww. Does your new dupe need some attention? Man up, as they say and stop being a sniping cunt, say it. |
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you sound unhappy |
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I was shown this card trick once. the guy made four piles then shuffled it all and put them one by one back into four neat piles of four cards. Tadaam it was all in order (or the same cards appeared together). He made me do it and although i did nothing but shuffle and make four piles, it worked again! Maths apparently. I've been totally shit at trying to explain this. |
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I know that one!! You do it three times and it's always the 7th or 11th card. Shit, I've forgotten it now. |
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3,000 interpoints for you. |
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There was a david blaine wannabe at my house one time, he did the card trick where he made me choose a card and remember it, then he theatrically threw the deck at a glass-paned door, and there was my card, facing me on the other side of the glass. I knew the explanation right away. |
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You can always hide 52 cards in 52 different locations. Memorize them and voila! "oooh go have a look what's under that lamp!" |
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Didn't last long! |
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oh but it was so much more hlaf-assed than that, all he did was make me show my card to everyone, and then a friend of his who was in the room saw the card and slid it in place while the rest of us were being dazzled. |
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You see all these sleight-of-hand tricks on television from the optimum viewing angle to conceal the movements, but when a guy is actually doing it in front of you, it's sometimes painfully obvious. |
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Copperfield's rubbish Statue of Liberty stunt was really, really shit. Oh, what happened eventually with that magic man predicting the lottery? I got all into the buzz and then completely forgot about it. |
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Hah i wonder if it's somehow linked to the 52 cards trick... |
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Derren Brown, he "predicted it" by revealing six ping pong balls with the winning numbers after they had been shown live on air. Then came the outlandish speculation on how he did it, going past the usual smoke and mirrors description. |
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That's how it works, roll up a napkin into your hand and throw it over someones head using misdirection and it works for the viewers in a set place. |
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