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interview nerves
 

offline lupus yonderboy from 1970. (United Kingdom) on 2009-03-24 06:01 [#02281618]
Points: 1985 Status: Lurker




any solutions?


 

offline Advocate on 2009-03-24 06:18 [#02281620]
Points: 3319 Status: Lurker



don't


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2009-03-24 06:23 [#02281621]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker



the people interviewing you are pompous arrogant imbeciles
who deserve to have their genitals devoured by ferrets.
they're all complete losers just hanging on by a thread to
their lame positions in society's stupid pecking order of
jerks. just walk in and say 'what the FUCK do you want
FAGS?'. If they ask a question, or come to some idiotic
bureaucratic decision that you should leave and they
probably will because they're assholes interrupt them mid
sentence by loudly singing a commercial jingle. I recommend
'crispy critters'. and continue to only sing it whenever
they try to talk. If they call security just whip out your
uzi which you've been secretly packing and kill every last
one of those idiots. Do them all the favor. They were
already inanimate piles of slop so you didn't really change
anything. Then just shoot at random people out the window.
You'll probably get the job.


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2009-03-24 06:26 [#02281622]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker



*this is the google secret police. we have reason to believe
that you, w M w, are a terrorist. come with us now. we have
a very healthy prison system awaiting you. we at google feel
that getting raped every day helps rehabilitate people.*


 

offline lupus yonderboy from 1970. (United Kingdom) on 2009-03-24 07:14 [#02281626]
Points: 1985 Status: Lurker




sounds like you've been playing too much grand theft auto=]


 

offline earthleakage from tell the world you're winning on 2009-03-24 07:33 [#02281631]
Points: 27795 Status: Regular



a wee dram


 

offline plaidzebra from so long, xlt on 2009-03-24 07:35 [#02281632]
Points: 5678 Status: Lurker



alcohol. sedatives. for you, i mean. picture the person
you're interviewing in their underwear. give yourself a pep
talk in a mirror before: "you the man! you can't be
stopped! you're a question asking machine that cannot be
denied! etc." offer the interviewee a sip of
extraordinarily strong ginger ale, then pat them on the back
when they inevitably begin coughing and choking. there,
then, you broke the ice! meditate, or practice controlled
breathing exercises beforehand. wear your zilty pin with
pride to let them know you mean business. you *do* mean
business, don't you?


 

offline earthleakage from tell the world you're winning on 2009-03-24 07:37 [#02281634]
Points: 27795 Status: Regular



try doing a scottish accent too


 

offline plaidzebra from so long, xlt on 2009-03-24 08:08 [#02281639]
Points: 5678 Status: Lurker | Followup to earthleakage: #02281634



and try to work the word "floatin'" with a silent g into
the conversation. sounds "greet" with a scottish accent.


 

offline nailik on 2009-03-24 08:42 [#02281647]
Points: 117 Status: Lurker



Do this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdpqH1_EC7A


 

offline lupus yonderboy from 1970. (United Kingdom) on 2009-03-24 18:41 [#02281826]
Points: 1985 Status: Lurker




hah. great clip, forgot what a good flick that is. decided
to save the drinking until afterwards tho mr leak. interview
went ok- thank heavens i can get back to living an anxiety
free existence on the internet where the worst that can
happen is you get rickrolled.


 


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