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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 18:29 [#02256985]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular
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yeah i was watching the shannon mathews thing and planning the revolution when i remembered just how rubbish my childhood was.
i had a mate when i was 10 who lived in this nasty village called stoakferry, it were proper 'royston vasey'. i was driven to his house in a 3 wheeler that smelt of fags and salad cream (i'm gagging as i speak) by his dad who looked like the ren and stimpy lummox things but with more missing teeth. his mom! his mom had tits to her knees and looked and talked like scary spice from bo selecta (had those glasses to). the house smelt like the car and when i asked for a glass of orange squash it had lots of tobacco at the bottom of the glass. my friend (he was called kevin) had two little brothers that were always fighting and i got hit on the head with an ash tray by the ugly one that couldn't say much but fuck and shut up. there was also this weird man that was there, he was the mom's 'boyfriend'. kevin kept going on about wanking and how there were 'gay guys' that came to the house but i didn't pay much attention.
i came home so miserable. my big sis used to hang around with kevin's older sister who was called sam. it was only when i was a bit older that my sister told me that she wished she'd never let me hang out with them...
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Wolfslice
from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2008-12-04 18:38 [#02256986]
Points: 4909 Status: Regular
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that sounds pretty uncomfortable. I've known a few people who had pretty bad home situations like that and they all came out pretty messed up in the end.
bad parenting and all that. I don't even want kids at all.
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cyrstal dude
from LA all day! (United States) on 2008-12-04 18:41 [#02256987]
Points: 900 Status: Addict | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02256985
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it's harsh to rag on poor people, bro.
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Wolfslice
from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2008-12-04 18:43 [#02256989]
Points: 4909 Status: Regular
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fiscally poor doesn't always go hand in hand with poor parenting though.
certainly that sounds like a case of poor parenting if some dude was sitting around talking about jerkin off to some 10 year olds.
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rad smiles
on 2008-12-04 18:46 [#02256990]
Points: 5608 Status: Lurker
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if it took you 10 years to bitch about it, its not a big deal.
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 18:47 [#02256991]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular
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part 2
yeah it turned out that his mom was one of those nnastay prostitues that probably charged extra to take out her false teeth! the weird fat guy was a client, one of many brought to the house. the reason kevin kept going on about gay stuff and wanking was cos his dad (if you'd seen him..) had touched him up n stuff, it was probably regular. i remember him touching my leg but i was too young to get it.
my sis, like i said, hung out with this sam girl. they once spent a day at sam's aunt who lived in the same skanky village. sam's aunt had a boyfriend and he was creepy; they once snuck into his room and found the walls covered in cut out pictures of models and stuff. my sis said he once tried to buy her knickers and told her about a story he'd written where he'd killed a woman and wrapped her face in black silk or something like that! honestly. there's more but it's actually a bit personal. in short so much of my life in norfolk was shit, spent with small time chavs/bullies or this. the whole thing had this horrible fred west vibe that was so fucking creepy. i still remember little things kevin said that make sense now....
so that is why i eventually spent like 6 years alone in my room smoking weed and building a world that had nothing to do with any of this. i had good friends too, ones that lived in houses without paedophiles. but aspects of my life were so like this shannon mathews stuff it gave me shudders. NEVER GO TO NORFOLK IT'S NOT LIKE 'TO THE MANOR BORN'!
oh god i wish we'd stayed in london
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 18:48 [#02256992]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to cyrstal dude: #02256987
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i'm very poor. we lived in a house in london that had no windows cos some asians came in to steal the fucking fire place. honest man they tried to chissle the thing out! we slept on the floor!!!
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Cliff Glitchard
from DEEP DOWN INSIDE on 2008-12-04 18:49 [#02256993]
Points: 4158 Status: Lurker
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the first time i was arrested was when i was 7, shoplifting. i grew up around basildon essex and my mates were 3/4 years older so i got dared to do all types. didn't even want the swag just wanted to show i could do it to mates, i was the only one caught and was cautioned when taken home to my mum. to be fair she handled it well, and i didn't get the total bollocking i thought i would, but when my grandparents found out, i've never felt so ashamed...
my nan is like mary poppins.
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cyrstal dude
from LA all day! (United States) on 2008-12-04 18:51 [#02256994]
Points: 900 Status: Addict | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02256991
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i hung out with this one kid when i was about 8 and when we were playing legos in his room, he goes "let's play mommies and daddies" i'm all like huh? what's that? he says "well, we take our clothes off, get into bed and kiss and cuddle and stuff"
i ran the fuck out of his house in a blind panic, thank god for anti-pervert education. no way was this chump getting his mitts on my "private areas"!
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cyrstal dude
from LA all day! (United States) on 2008-12-04 18:52 [#02256995]
Points: 900 Status: Addict | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02256992
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it's harsh to rag on azn ppl, bro.
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rad smiles
on 2008-12-04 18:52 [#02256996]
Points: 5608 Status: Lurker | Followup to cyrstal dude: #02256994
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hah
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 18:54 [#02256997]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to rad smiles: #02256990
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it's just a little story, i know folks who've had worse. it's funny really cos it's pretty laughably horrific. i'm didn't mean to make you think i was crying over how terrible my life was or something. go to stoakferry man, it's not the fucking bronx but you'd have more than a few things to say about it. you'd be laughing but you'd never go back, trust!
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 18:56 [#02256998]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to Cliff Glitchard: #02256993
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i know. my mom is like that and i had the same kind of things to confess. moms are great i don't know how they do it.
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:03 [#02257000]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular
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hahahaha £84.98 CRAIG DAVID BO SELECTA MASK BRAND NEW REAL DEAL!!!
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 19:06 [#02257001]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02256985
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full on......
strange how memories of the past can turn up years later........... you really can forget what your daily life was like, for years and years.......
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:08 [#02257002]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257001
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true
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 19:09 [#02257003]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257002
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you can almost taste the past
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:12 [#02257004]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular
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so that's the story of why i have from NOTTINGHAM proudly stated above each of my posts. i have only half escaped the general misery of norfolk but this reminds me that i never have to go back.
also please fuck up the environment and flood that flat miserable shithole!
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:13 [#02257005]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257003
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smells like salad cream. i hate that shit ;)
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 19:15 [#02257006]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular
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I've been to Nottingham......... still a little dire.
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rad smiles
on 2008-12-04 19:16 [#02257007]
Points: 5608 Status: Lurker | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02256997
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sorry. i was just being a dick. its a horrible story, really.
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 19:16 [#02257008]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular
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My Grandmother used to live in Tickhill
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:25 [#02257012]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257003
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actually it does have some pretty personal shit those memories. i needn't talk about that shizzle.
anyway xlt don't judge me for not getting the intergit riddles and being shamefully behind on generally all things clever. i had years of culture taken away from me and it's only cos of my lovely mom and sister that i didn't end up really chavy and evil. the fens should become a bomb testing zone. fuck it all man, honestly. st anns may have rudes, guns, and a library with nothing but books on football but you can smell the enlightenment. these backward norfolk uglies should be rendered down into pig feed LOLbutalittlebitseriousalsoLOL
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:25 [#02257014]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257008
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i'll google it and think of you
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:26 [#02257015]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to rad smiles: #02257007
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i know man. keep the world smiling!
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glasse
from Harrisburg (United States) on 2008-12-04 19:33 [#02257017]
Points: 4211 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257005 | Show recordbag
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the fact that you call it salad cream makes it even more gross. Is that common in UK (we say salad dressing)?
will i get gonorrhea if i eat a salad over there?
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 19:33 [#02257018]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257014
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Some parts of the North were great, but parts were really depressing, frightening places.
We have our shit-holes here in Australia, but the worse bits I saw in the UK were astounding.
My old man was born and raised in the UK and he can't stand it now. Parts of it have socially collapsed.
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2008-12-04 19:35 [#02257020]
Points: 21452 Status: Lurker
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Nice story. It would make a good movie.
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:37 [#02257021]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to glasse: #02257017
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is it the same stuff? it's that white shit that's basically sour cheese and onion flavoured ketchup. it mings of sweaty crotch. it's very british
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glasse
from Harrisburg (United States) on 2008-12-04 19:41 [#02257022]
Points: 4211 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257021 | Show recordbag
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it sounds like ranch kind of, but it is probably spooge.
LAZY_ranch
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:46 [#02257023]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257018
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it's alright but it's a bit mis because recently it's lost it's classical pride. no red telephone boxes and pipe smoking men in bowler hats. ghettos are typically worse all over the world but the flat sad coldness of the uk makes a smashed piss-covered telephone box a special kind of disheartening. things are quite well mixed here in notts, you get an evil street right next to a posh one. you don't really get traped in candyman country the way you did in london. we lived ghetto in london. momma used to walk around with one of those wicker baskets on wheels full of planks to make tables out of. haha i forgot that!
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JivverDicker
from my house on 2008-12-04 19:46 [#02257024]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to glasse: #02257022
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No, it's egg based with a hint of vinegar.
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:49 [#02257026]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to glasse: #02257022
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it looks similar but nicer
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 19:52 [#02257027]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to JivverDicker: #02257024
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that's why it smells so crotchy
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 19:57 [#02257029]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular
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I lived in islington and got threatened by 12 year olds on bikes.............
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 20:06 [#02257030]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257029
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i remember being a kid and i'd freeze whenever a big boy asked me the simplest question. we all did! now they go out of there way to start fights with people a boxer would be scared of. be afraid of the breakdown of respect in british society, it's not just media hype.
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JivverDicker
from my house on 2008-12-04 20:07 [#02257031]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257029
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They are the most scary! They've got everything to prove and nothing to lose in their minds. The best way is to give the leader looking one a big slap.
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 20:10 [#02257034]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257030
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I was going to be rolled by children :(
I read an article just last week about measuring the emergence of an underclass........ % of unmarried mothers, % of 20-24 year old males out of work and rate of property crime........ the numbers for the UK sky-rocketed from 89-99.... I can only imagine what they are now......
Property crime rates were higher than in the US.
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 20:13 [#02257036]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to JivverDicker: #02257031
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you know. it's all pack mentality, slap the hard one. that can make him want to prove he's not a pussy tho. sometimes it's best to just confuse them when they first test you, throw them off.
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 20:15 [#02257037]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to JivverDicker: #02257031
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I remember thinking that I was going to end up in a fight with a bunch of kids and how wacky that was..
I've got a bunch of 12-14 year olds who play out the front of our unit here in Oz every night...... good lads, get up to a bit of mischief and run around like loons, but still just kids. Last night I heard them deciding what super-powers each of them had.
The kids I saw in Islington would eat them for breakfast!
Hope all is well in the Jivver household........ my little one is smiling and giggling now........ I just have to look at her and she thinks it's the funniest thing ever.... good time.
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 20:16 [#02257038]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257034
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that's bad. the main thing is something else tho, and i'm pretty sure it's unique to uk. things are getting a bit clockwork orange around here. there was this really horrible article from 2006 or something i'll try and dig it up.
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JivverDicker
from my house on 2008-12-04 20:21 [#02257039]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257036
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I didn't mean slap the hard one, I meant lay into the one that looks like the leader fully. Take it from there, they're all a bit confused anyway.
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JivverDicker
from my house on 2008-12-04 20:24 [#02257040]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #02257037
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Awww!! It was great to meet you! I know it was brief but I think about it quite often.
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 20:27 [#02257041]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular
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kids growing up too fast shank means knife/stab. it's nearly cute
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-04 20:34 [#02257044]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257041
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they're not that bad, the big one looks quite nice actually. i dunno if they've all been taken down but there were loads of uk postcode gang videos around last year. i only saw a few in a documentary
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-04 21:56 [#02257055]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to JivverDicker: #02257040
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Serious Generosity!
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gingaling
from Scamworth (Burkina Faso) on 2008-12-05 06:52 [#02257149]
Points: 2281 Status: Lurker | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257044
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is that the thing the cool kids are doin now, explains why theres loads of really shit b78/b79 graffity, if it can be called that around my moms ends. Bein up in scotland now i aint seein much of the post code display goin on, but readin the papers up here is just as grim as anywhere else, Glasgow seems like a shitty as hell place to be, constantly read of stabbings and shootings, 'cept up here its white folk doin white folk, not so much of the etchnics fighting each other like down in the LND.
I'm well behind you as i have said befor on the loss of repect thing goin on in the UK. And yeah kids tryin to be the next big man are the dangerous/stoopid fuckers. get that revolution on the go!
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-05 08:22 [#02257174]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to gingaling: #02257149
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things are splintered it's not even about silly things like race anymore, it's just everyone trying to identify themselves as powerful within a group. you can see it all over the country, it's because we are not unified by religion, politics, nationality, class or any of that (all of it went out of fashion during the 90s imo). but people want to belong, humans always want some kind of movement, but a movement always needs an enemy. so this gang stuff has been synthesized by a national identity crisis imo. it's not like america where it started out of necessity and extreme poverty.
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AMPI MAX
from United Kingdom on 2008-12-05 08:23 [#02257175]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02257174
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what i mean is yeah, it's getting scary and i'm not sure it can be easily undone
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2008-12-05 13:18 [#02257254]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular
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There's not a lot of hope in the UK for the general population. Not much opportunity to get ahead and make your life better. It's a hard life just to exist.
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