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Alienation
 

offline cx from Norway on 2008-10-08 16:50 [#02243714]
Points: 4537 Status: Regular



Story of my life


 

offline Wolfslice from Bay Area, CA (United States) on 2008-10-08 17:03 [#02243715]
Points: 4909 Status: Regular



Before one of the 5 or so xlt-assholes come making fun of
your post, I'd just like to say that to me you always seemed
like a good guy. I never got the sense that you "thought you
were better" than anyone here, and I've always liked your
spam.

If you do have schizophrenia, there are some excellent drugs
out there for it. My cousin has it (to a seemingly MUCH
larger degree than you do) and the drugs worked very well
for him. Also, get out and jog or something, every day. Just
all the crap out in your head while you run. That usually
works for me, you just have to spark some motivation to do
it.

I highly suggest you try drugs for anti-anxiety, or whatever
the doc perscribes to you. If you are unhappy with the way
it is now that might be the best thing that ever happened to
you.


 

offline KLX from no (United States) on 2008-10-08 17:04 [#02243716]
Points: 140 Status: Regular



cool story


 

offline KLX from no (United States) on 2008-10-08 17:05 [#02243717]
Points: 140 Status: Regular



i am schizophrenic too but it's a lot cooler than being sane
i think.


 

offline KLX from no (United States) on 2008-10-08 17:09 [#02243720]
Points: 140 Status: Regular



schizophrenia is a condition where you feel the joy of
reality consistently at an almost orgasmic level


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-08 17:16 [#02243721]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



hey there, whatever are your experiences you will have to
control your thoughts to calm down, to make things a bit
more clear. the mind is just the brain in movement, you have
enough self reflection attitudes to take control of it. and
to take care of your health. on that matter, i would say
don't make any fucking drug, just don't do it. you have the
power to heal by yourself. you're a nice guy (like many
others), and your anxiety (like many other's) can be felt
thru your posts. so you may feel unqiue, but saying that
you're alone on this world is just not correct. hth


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2008-10-08 17:28 [#02243726]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02243721



i dunno mo. it's hard.
explain it cx i don't quite understand (and do it quick
before barcode comes and ruins everything)


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-08 17:32 [#02243727]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02243726 | Show recordbag



it's hard? you can bet on it. have you ever started to
refuse some bad thinking? do it for some time and tell how
ya feel.


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2008-10-08 17:34 [#02243731]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02243727



it's pretty impossible. but to try is the duty of every weak
man.


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-08 17:35 [#02243732]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02243731 | Show recordbag



nope, it's not impossible.


 

offline Gwely Mernans from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2008-10-08 17:38 [#02243734]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker



well we must have a lot in common because with a few word
switches, it could have been me that wrote that.


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2008-10-08 17:40 [#02243735]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular



...or me! honestly i think every human in the world is
desperately disconnected.


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-08 17:41 [#02243736]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Followup to AMPI MAX: #02243735 | Show recordbag



thats some kind of contradicting


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2008-10-08 17:41 [#02243737]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02243732



that's the spirit :D


 

offline AMPI MAX from United Kingdom on 2008-10-08 17:42 [#02243740]
Points: 10789 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02243736



are we talking at cross purposes or is it my schizophrenia?
im agreeing with you


 

offline cyrstal dude from LA all day! (United States) on 2008-10-08 17:44 [#02243742]
Points: 900 Status: Addict | Followup to cx: #02243714



that's pretty brutal man, hope you are ok.

it may be hard for you to "let go" and trust people, but i
hope you can do it.


 

offline cx from Norway on 2008-10-08 22:56 [#02243790]
Points: 4537 Status: Regular



Well, I woke up this morning and I felt a lot better.
Last night I was really tired and anxious, and I wrote this
in a kind of sleepy haze.
To me it feels like a step back.
I have my priorities all wrong.. and reading your posts and
seeing msn messages helps actually..
I think we all can and have experienced this on some level
or another.

Either way, consciousness is a mystery, but at least we're
not alone here about it.

Wolfslice:

I am on abilify right now, no anxiety medication though..
And yeah I do have it to a less degree than many, I have met
some people who are hit by it really hard and become
completely messed up..

Either way, I feel better after sleep :p goddamn mood
changes


 

offline cx from Norway on 2008-10-08 22:57 [#02243791]
Points: 4537 Status: Regular | Followup to cyrstal dude: #02243742



I think I can, thanks btw.


 

offline Falito from Balenciaga on 2008-10-08 23:33 [#02243792]
Points: 3974 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



They're lining up
To mad dog your tilta whirl
3 shots for a dollar
Win a real live doll
All the lies that you tell
I believed them so well. Take them back
Take them back to your red house
For that fearful leap into the dark
I did my time
In the jail of your arms
Now Ophelia wants to know
Where she should turn
Tell me
What did you do
What did you do the last time?
Why don't you do that
Go on ahead and take this the wrong way
Time's not your friend
Do you cry
Do you pray
Do you wish them away
Do you still leave nothing
But bones in the way
Did you bury the carnival
Lions and all
Excuse me while I sharpen my nails
And just who are you this time?
You look rather tired
(Who drinks from your shoe)
Are you pretending to love
Well I hear that it pays well
How do your pistol and your Bible and your
Sleeping pills go?
Are you still jumping out of windows in expensive clothes?

Well I fell in love
With your sailor's mouth and your wounded eyes
You better get down on the floor
Don't you know this is war
Tell me who are you this time?
Tell me who are you this time?


 

offline CS2x from London (United Kingdom) on 2008-10-09 04:15 [#02243810]
Points: 5079 Status: Lurker | Followup to cx: #02243790



I personally believe that MAYBE you may have given too much
power to - and deepened - certain thoughts and
feelings by focusing on them too much. I could try and say a
lot about this, but I haven't found any definite answers
myself - all I know is that if you are strict with yourself
and constantly reject or ignore certain thoughts and
triggers, rather than battle them, change will come. Then
again, there may be truth in the idea that these surface
level thoughts can not be dealt with alone, but rather
unresolved conflicts from childhood or whatever. I know a
few people who have gone through psychoanalytic therapy
extensively and say it works, but I've also heard those that
have benefited from Cognitive Behavorial Therapy say it does
more harm than good. I think that the approaches in CBT are
effective, relatively painless (though of course hard work)
and down to earth and practical, and can possibly be done
alone. You may need to just start being more strict with
yourself when certain thoughts creep in, and enjoy the good
days when they come. :-) Good luck.


 

offline BoxBob-K23 from Finland on 2008-10-09 09:26 [#02243842]
Points: 2440 Status: Regular | Followup to cx: #02243714



yes, I think you will be surprised how many people will
identify with many of these things you say. These words
touch many people's lives and attitudes, including mine.

One good idea for you could be to read some psychology (on
schizophrenia and neuroses), it might help - not only to
cure you, but to see how fucked up some other people's lives
are! It'll give a perspective, and maybe also give you a
sense of community, because you realize that many of the
things you said just there are things many if not most of us
try to keep locked and stored in the unconscious instead of
verbalizing them... not everybody has similar hang-ups all
the time, but most of our hang-ups are shared but unspoken
(taboos). So called crazy people are often just pathological
truth-tellers or truth-seekers. Sometimes they're just
crazy, though. But that's OK too. :)

Also, drugs can be helpful, but that's always a gamble. Try
talking to friends, be more open with your family, and try
some self-suggestion or NLP.


 

offline plaidzebra from so long, xlt on 2008-10-09 09:56 [#02243848]
Points: 5678 Status: Lurker



i'd like to offer helpful advice, but there is no way to
know whether or not the advice will be helpful or neutral or
inadvertently harmful.

regardless, you cannot avoid engaging these issues.

i'm in a different but similar situation.

so i'll try.

i've found a commitment to vigorous exercise 30-45 minutes
3-4 times per week to be helpful.

also, engage a discipline that will allow you to focus your
mind on "no thing." a willful reboot is good for the mind.

and remember to bask in the good days.


 

offline SlipDrinkMats from Thanks (Bhutan) on 2008-10-09 10:10 [#02243852]
Points: 1744 Status: Regular



In 2001 I got together with your parents and we came up with
this plan to mentally torture you over the Internet. Sorry,
at the time we all thought it was "funny", and that one day
we'd all laugh. Obviously this has seriously backfired and I
can only apologise.



 

offline cx from Norway on 2008-10-09 12:07 [#02243881]
Points: 4537 Status: Regular



Sorry for the late reply it's been a hectic day..

Thanks for all your responses, it's no reason to be as
alienated as one thought you know.. I have already begun
working out :P

it's a different day already today


 

offline dave_g from United Kingdom on 2008-10-09 12:18 [#02243884]
Points: 3372 Status: Lurker | Followup to SlipDrinkMats: #02243852



I didn't click the link, but "story of my life" made me
think of this:

10 wake up,
20 make a track,
30 post track on zilty,
40 spend rest of day replying to comments,
50 post new topic "I'm quiting spam"
60 go to bed
70 goto 10

RUN



 

offline cygnus from nowhere and everyplace on 2008-10-09 12:35 [#02243887]
Points: 11920 Status: Regular



life can suck - the uncontrolled brain makes it a lot worse
though


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-09 13:07 [#02243900]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Followup to cygnus: #02243887 | Show recordbag



yes, it physically hurts


 

offline larn from PLANET E (United Kingdom) on 2008-10-09 15:20 [#02243963]
Points: 5473 Status: Regular | Show recordbag





I think it's really important for people with this condition
to be around family and friends, the only problem with that
is people with schizophrenia are normally hard to socialize
with, because they are spaced and operating on a higher
brain function than other people. People that love you
should look past that and try to understand, assholes who
don't understand will not give you a chance, but fuck
them...

I hope you can find peace in your life cx, you sound like
your getting a handle on things, so keep that up and try to
keep active with things, i like your music by the way, like
i said before i think you are talented.

>_^




 

offline misantroll from Switzerland on 2008-10-09 15:29 [#02243970]
Points: 2151 Status: Lurker



I was schizofrenian but now we re ok


 

offline obara from Utrecht on 2008-10-09 16:26 [#02243976]
Points: 19377 Status: Regular



thanks for sharing, stay strong


 

offline Cliff Glitchard from DEEP DOWN INSIDE on 2008-10-09 16:34 [#02243978]
Points: 4158 Status: Lurker



i've got similar problems, but i'm a masochist, so i enjoy
it.

thanks, i'm here all week.


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-09 16:45 [#02243980]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Followup to obara: #02243976 | Show recordbag



twas needed


 

offline joomla from Isle of Wight (United Kingdom) on 2008-10-09 16:57 [#02243988]
Points: 8 Status: Regular



If it's getting you down that much, try these:

sports - When you're racing down a hill on a bike and you
have to make the right turns not to fall over the
handlebars, you really don't think too much about anything
else.. this is a nice adrenaline rush and i would say it's
healthy together with the exorcize and big appetite after.

socializing out - comedy, social interaction.. necessary for
some people, I find it a good positive thing.

fuck buddy/masterbation - bit like exorcizing but feels
good, chills you out.

meeting new people in person - find new ways of expressing
yourself etc...


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-09 16:58 [#02243989]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Show recordbag



obara


 

offline pulseclock from Downtown 81 on 2008-10-09 17:13 [#02244002]
Points: 6015 Status: Lurker



Hey man, wake up. You know pain, sounds like you're finally
starting to open your eyes, I just dropped out of school and
I have been viewing alot of things ONLINE, (like
"zeitgeist") and alot of other things and have become very
aware of people's true nature as humans, i think you have,
too.

but all these things are natural and feelings are natural,

It's the GUT feelings you have that you know is bringing you
down a dark path or rising you up, or keeping you sane, or
making you feel good.

Talk to people

people aren't the enemies, they are just in this day and
age, very selfish, and not really in tune with what we are
as beings.

It is ok though, we were born here, we are meant to LIVE
through this.

Survive and work for your happiness. We all deserve peace,
every living thing on this earth.



 

offline pulseclock from Downtown 81 on 2008-10-09 17:15 [#02244004]
Points: 6015 Status: Lurker



oh yeah, and i went back to school cause if something
happens in the near future, well, at least i'll be doing
something worthy of all this debt i will owe in the future.

fuckin money


 

offline bit bare from Chilean Vulture Rising on 2008-10-09 22:08 [#02244055]
Points: 408 Status: Regular



whats it like to have mental problems? a lot of times i few
like there several minds in my head


 

offline SlipDrinkMats from Thanks (Bhutan) on 2008-10-09 22:30 [#02244056]
Points: 1744 Status: Regular | Followup to bit bare: #02244055



Are they all telling you to fuck off?


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-10 13:03 [#02244168]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Followup to bit bare: #02244055 | Show recordbag



there are several brains but only one mind, which can be
changed depending on your thoughts.


 

offline cx from Norway on 2008-10-10 14:22 [#02244178]
Points: 4537 Status: Regular



cool pulseclock thanks for the message..

its very up and down with me atm, like bipolary so.
well, today has been a good day so suddenly not feelin my OP
at all.

ill come back if i do :D


 

offline obara from Utrecht on 2008-10-13 23:41 [#02245239]
Points: 19377 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02243989



yes ?


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2008-10-14 05:18 [#02245269]
Points: 31229 Status: Regular | Followup to obara: #02245239 | Show recordbag



alright =D


 

offline oyvinto on 2008-10-16 07:05 [#02245975]
Points: 8197 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



i couldn't read your story, but you might find this a bit
interesting

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/2003/10.23/01-creativ...


 

offline gingaling from Scamworth (Burkina Faso) on 2008-10-16 08:20 [#02245988]
Points: 2281 Status: Lurker



has the story changed/been removed, the link was purdy
empty.... or is that it, that u dont feel anything?

i dunno, either ways i hope u be feeling better.

remember theres always someone worse off than you, eat good
and take exercise.


 


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