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The first time I took a reasonable dose of psychedelic drugs I was very young. I was unphased, mentally, just lost in a new reality. I began experimenting with LSD and psilocybin on a regular basis, as much as once a week. After more than a year at that rate, I decided that I'd curb my habit and take some time off. I felt like I had explored many parts of myself that I didn't know existed, and that I had learned a lot about creativity and abstract reality. At about eighteen years old I started taking larger doses of LSD. Sometimes as much as 650 micrograms at a time, often mixed with half a pill of ecstasy or a xanax to curb The Fear. I often wondered about visuals. Why is there a recurring theme in my visual hallucinations? Why does everything follow this pattern? Why is psychedelic art oriented around fractals? I am all too familiar with "deep" realizations when under the influence of drugs. However, one night, It came to us. We were in a completely pitch black sealed basement with cement walls and floor. On half a pill of ectasy and an undetermined quantity of LSD washed out of a nearly empty vial, three of us were experiencing something unusual though extremely familiar. We had a powerful flash from a camera, detached and ready to flare. Because of our persistence of vision, one single flash from the camera would quickly develop into a full color image of the pitch black room around us, and when we moved, the vision stayed still. It was viciously disorienting and twisted fun. I felt It then, with clarity an understanding. It was the magic of many of the moments when we found ourselves lost in surrealistic mental landscapes, when we completely lost the essence of ourselves, our personality, and were immersed in the fabric of reality. We began to personify It, and even began talking about It as an animified entity. It would manifest itself when the drugs were in us. We would find ourselves sitting on couches beginning sentences with "It's like.." "What if It.." and someo |
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We would find ourselves sitting on couches beginning sentences with "It's like.." "What if It.." and someone would make the instant connection and make It's presence known. Everything following these prefixes were silly drug thoughts, but it didn't matter because that was It right there. It was the silly drugs thoughts and was self-referential an validated. It was a recursive name for itself. All encompassing, yet easy to try and define for periods of time until It slipped back into the shadows of our minds. It wasn't until I'd stopped taking LSD regularly, a little over a year ago, that It started coming to me sober. It helped me realize and conceptualize my fantastically minute size in this universe while staring through the girth of our deep milky way discus. It began to help me deal with my insecurities, helped me rationalize stress to acceptable levels. I rarely get angry anymore because It always reminds me of my uncertain nature and the possibility that the things I am feeling negatively and passionately towards might not be due so much attention. I have been smoking marijuana fairly regularly for the past two weeks. As an established pothead and ex-pothead by the age of seventeen, these past two weeks have been the first bout with the drug in years. I've actually been enjoying myself very much, mainly because of a powerful sense of harmony with the universe that comes to me not just when I am stoned, but when I remember all of the things I have felt and thought on drugs, or even radical or surreal thoughts when sober. I decided to have a pair of mandelbrot iterations tattooed on my calves two weeks ago. I realized quickly that I had It tattooed on my body. Fractal patterns are not just shapes, but a model for many systems, both abstract and tangible. Even the train of thought, basic logic processes, can be likened to fractals. A statement, a contradiction, a logical alternative, a re-iteration of statement. I am filled with awe and respect for the realities w |
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I am filled with awe and respect for the realities we construct for ourselves, and feel that I swim well in this sea of consciousness, and that the psychoactives I have consumed have enriched this. Thoughts? |
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on a completely unrelated sidenote.. i have gone from "lurker" to "regular" to "addict" in two days. ??? |
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so... |
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those sober moments you speak of, where you still "understand" or whatever... its called a flashback. drugs dont hold the answers. |
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so, is there anything as valid as sober thought and learning that can be experienced with psychoactives, in anyone elses adventures? |
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How do you know, Zeus? |
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well...its late to say that dont get too exited. i think u are half a person now |
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And there I was thinking this was going to be another shameless self-promotion. |
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...me too... |
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I'm ambivalent. Where's Neeta? |
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Maybe I'm way off-base in posting my music for people to listen to? I really don't feel like I am. Shameless self-promotion.. If I don't promote my music, will you? Should I be ashamed of offering my music to people? Do you feel this messageboard is an inappropriate place for electronic music. Especially inappropriate for music heavily influenced by Aphex Twin? Does anyone know any good Limp Bizkit forums I might be well-received at? Lighten up. I'm a perfectly nice individual and don't mean you any harm. |
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"and there I was thinking this was going to be another shameless self-promotion." illfate: see what im talking about in your conversation and truth thread? :) |
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ill, people just like to be told its your music, not a blind link, which kind of tricks them into goin to it. |
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Why is this thread about that other thread? I didn't mean for that to happen. |
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Leave the fellow alone, I'm sure he didn't mean any harm. |
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by all means, share your music. no problems with that. your whole drugs-story sounds to me just like that, a drugs-story.. I can't really relate to it. then again, I'm not big on drugs, if I'd want to go insane quickly I should use psychoactived drugs, so I pass.. |
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does anyone have a control over topics and threads and threads about the other threads? |
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cabbog, i wasnt attacking him. just pointing it out. i tried shrooms last weekend. not alot, just enough to be happy my friend on the other hand is convinced he saw god i am skeptical. |
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you are skeptical? is that like a new rapper? (ha ha) |
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skeptical's my name, and rapping's my game. rappin, and rhymin, and crusin and crimein' for sho |
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truth and learning zeus.. you wanted to be happy and your friend probably wanted to see god... that what its all about i guess |
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true |
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im sceptical too noone is looking truth from 'sniffing gasolene' but actually there is no difference between this and drugs. just that drugs usually have better graphics you know 8) |
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indeed, indeed. |
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I really can't relate to your drug story either , i only smoke some ocasionaly. Psycho drugs like that scare me. But i enjoyed reading it , you write well. It felt more like reading a novel then a topic starter. |
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juxta neath dafydd caerdydd! |
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bloody hippy ;) |
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okay.. the seeing god, having it all figured out, this that, something something.. drug talk, sure, to be thrown out the window when compared to sober and rational thought.. Sober and rational thought? Fuck that-- I work in a copy shop and I have people come in all day long who are in essence, tripped out. Stressed, late, frustrated, or just confused by copy machines and computers.. There are certain things to be said about a state of mind. If you won't count drugs as a state of mind that isn't different from any other, you still shouldn't count is as less valuable or invalid. The most successful treatment we've ever had for alcoholism was LSD. |
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"If you won't count drugs as a state of mind that isn't different from any other, you still shouldn't count is as less valuable or invalid." agreed. "The most successful treatment we've ever had for alcoholism was LSD." um.. sounds lovely. why do you mention this? |
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http://www.erowid.com It's amazing what you can learn from psychoactive drugs, you'll always get people that are sceptical. For me, it opened so many doors. Your friend didn't see god, he felt 'his' presence. I'm not a drug user, i don't take ecstacy, cocaine or any of that..psychedelics is a whole different story. I've never taken LSD, I'm sure I will one day, right now i'm not strong enough. Psychoactives (for me..it differs from person to person) strips away your ego, it makes you "real"(relative word). I cried the last time I was on shrooms, I felt like I was reborn, I was a seed, I grew and for a second...everything made so much sense. It's really hard trying to explain these things to people who are against drugs, they'll never understand. I even told told my parents I think they should try it, they didnt take it too well, but oh well. Weak minded people lose their heads on psychoactives, you need to be strong, semi confident. I've seen people get depressed from it, have anxiety attacks. This was more from lsd though, that's why i'm still a bit sceptical of dr hoffman's man made drug. |
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i was told once that the drugs are inanimate i think the dude was right |
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An example of a psychoactive drug working on and augmenting the mind of a human being in a positive fashion. |
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Er, the above post was response to you, qrter |
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I've never used chemical drugs, but I get addicted to other drugs that allow escape from reality like videogames and I'm interested in psychadelic-like patterns. A fractal is one example of symmetry, which is about patterns. I don't know why the human brain finds these striking but I agree that they are. |
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and post as many song links as you damn well want IMO. I quite liked both those new tracks. |
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an' THERE HE IS w M w, i've been waiting for you. someone posted a link in a different thread to something you might want to check out if you like fractals-- "xaos" it's just an app that lets you explore fractals, but is very educational and mindboggling. run a board search for xaos |
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to FlyAgaric: "For me, it opened so many doors." honestly, it opened many doors for me to but i have to admit it also closed many doors. Truth is that when you open some door you have to close the another.. "It's really hard trying to explain these things to people who are against drugs, they'll never understand." same thing it is just same hard to explain to drug user the opposite... so my conclusion is.. damn my conclusion is so simple i don't even want to say it out to all drug users! long live complicated thoughts! |
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lol |
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illfates- don't pack it up yet. those who take the time to resopond "ambivalent" seemingly are not. they are curious about similar problems as you, but choose different paths to confront them. drugs are not the answer (or the question, really). they will not put you on a road to salvation, unless that may be the comfort of an insulated mind. they will encourage meditation on a different scale. if it helps you converse with others, its good for that. drugs are a variant and more accessible path to the same questions you will never have answers to. curiosities that will never be fufilled. i am only an occasional user of drugs, and those occasions seem to come less and less often. being around good friends more involved than i, i can only predict that you will face one crossroads: whether to use your experiences as reflections to apply to what you may consider your 'sober' realm, or convert yourself to the induced state as your operable state. this will render you insane to others, and put you in a physical and potentially financial predicament. perhaps it is somthing else for you -- a place of comfort and clarity for instance... but i would image that as long as you are conscious of 'taking drugs' than its probably not something else. if you are 19 now, you may encounter other concerns as you age, that will deny or enable your access to your drug-induced experiences, until they become relegated as simulations or alterations of your real-wordly existance. body rules the mind in my hemisphere. the mind is an afterthought. insecurities often prove themselves as dangerous vulnerablities. i don't regret any of the experiences i've had on drugs, but i'm also a moderate. to me they are little more than a more intense inspiration, emotion, or frieght... anyway, get back to me in ten years. |
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if you want to learn, go get yourself educated (go to school, read some books..... etc.) if you want to have a good time with your friends, and do stupid shit, then turn to drugs my 2 cents |
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If i want to educate myself, I prefer self-education. There is a lot of good reading I need to do. Like right now, reading a massive bible-like book on the nature of harmony, both classically and psychologically. I make music. I like to understand the way people's heads work, so that the music I make can more greatly affect them. I think drugs have helped me learn to identify particular sounds, sequences, musical concepts, that will strike a listener, and helped me tune to these things. |
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...and if you reallly want to learn a lesson, do lots of drugs, go to school, and eat a book for 2 cents. |
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u do music tu affect people illfates?? shit do it for yourself ;) |
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I have taken quite a lot of LSD and psylosibin in my youth, and although I don't regret it at all, I would be cautious in recommending it to anyone. It can expand your conciousness, in that you may see things from a wider perspective away from the "ego" and in a more objective way. But it can also take you further and further away from the world everyone else lives in. This can be difficult and painful. I haven't seen much real insight into the world from psychadelics... the closest i've come across is "Sgt Pepper"! |
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"...and if you reallly want to learn a lesson, do lots of drugs, go to school, and eat a book for 2 cents." that sounds painfull.... what part of L.A are you from xian_ecci? |
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it pisses me off when people describe drugs and truth bearing and religious experiences. The experiences they bring are just as valid as your normal day to day life. No more no less. However it does provide some interesting perspectives that much I'll admit (see the works of philip k dick) |
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downtown. echo park/chinatown |
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its really bad to hear that only drugs "...can expand your conciousness, in that you may see things from a wider perspective away from the "ego" and in a more objective way..." damn try some traditional training instead of that new-age-whatever... |
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