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is amazon sharkjump

offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-10-20 05:40 [#02606509]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

i sit up one day, and realize amazon has become a bit shit.
i want a bean bag chair, and it's promptly sensory overload.
there are chairs for $30 and $40 and $80 and $150 and $200
and $250 and many of them actually look quite the same. they
all have 4.5+ star reviews. i opt not to buy any of them.

less fortunate was my voyage with a wifi-to-ethernet bridge.
all it had to do was outperform my piece of shit netgear
whatever from 2015 by a dozen megabits or three, and i would
have just kept it and had no complaint. but, no, it's the
worst piece of shit ever, no configuration, it insists on
putting the ethernet port on its own weird subnet
(192.168.10.*) and there is absolutely no way to change it.
this is what i find after thirty minutes of cursing to the
engrish in the interface and trying to even get it to talk
to the router

after all this, right next to the router, it is _slower_
than the 2015 turd that crashes thrice a day, 20-30ft away.

i admittedly got a bit sauced, at this point, and wrote up a
scathing review. initiate the return process. i still have
to drive to kohl's with a QR code, and who knows if i'll get
my money back. i log back in the next day to see if i still
feel the same way, only to find my review has disappeared
into the void. unavailable. no comment. did returning it
cancel the review? is this some dodgy shit? one other
product on my "home networking" list suddenly changes brand
names, and i think: yeah, this is probably one of those
deals where it's the same chipset in five dozen pieces of
crap and they're all pieces of crap and they just keep
switching brand names to dodge the brutal reviews

and how am i to sort this shit out from what's deece on
amazon with all the review gaming; i can't even rant about
how shit something is without it being like jaws taking down
my review like a lure along with the boat


offline Tony Danza from hollywood on 2020-10-21 04:31 [#02606516]
Points: 2858 Status: Regular

isn't this all because you're an obstinate old goat who
insists on using ethernet jacks on his computers


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-10-21 06:21 [#02606517]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

no, just a normal person who thinks 45mbit from this piece
of shit that had glowing reviews on amazon, when my work
laptop clears hundreds of mbit. but the best results are
always with a wired connection, and i don't mean in general,
i mean i went around and tried it out to sure

here let's steal discord's bandwidth LAZY_TITLE

will it work? we'll see. could be a nice new file host for


offline Tony Danza from hollywood on 2020-10-21 12:16 [#02606522]
Points: 2858 Status: Regular

maybe look at using a smaller MTU

I have an archer a6 it's good it gets me movies real fast


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-10-22 01:13 [#02606525]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

i think the answer is to just run some wires meself
even if a router is ace it's still another hop, another CPU
speed, another config process, in between you and the things


offline BlatantEcho from Portland, OR (United States) on 2020-11-04 08:58 [#02606692]
Points: 7198 Status: Regular

I don't give amazon any money, I think they are evil.

People = consumers, who just mindlessly buy all sorts of
cheap garbage there. And, what do we see? More cheap
garbage. Strange.


offline dariusgriffin from cool on 2020-11-08 01:44 [#02606738]
Points: 11877 Status: Regular

can you jump the shark... when you are the shark?
something to ponder


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-11-08 09:48 [#02606740]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

as long as there is another shark available to jump -- yes,
a shark can jump the shark


offline yann_g from now on 2020-11-08 13:54 [#02606742]
Points: 3757 Status: Regular

who you buy from is more important than who you vote for.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-11-08 16:55 [#02606752]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

what video streaming service defines me as a person?


offline yann_g from now on 2020-11-08 17:10 [#02606753]
Points: 3757 Status: Regular



offline Tony Danza from hollywood on 2020-11-08 17:32 [#02606754]
Points: 2858 Status: Regular | Followup to yann_g: #02606742

thats right baby! it pisses me off when people think that
politics is still a legitimate form of civic participation.
You should only buy things or not buy things. thats the real


offline dariusgriffin from cool on 2020-11-08 18:16 [#02606755]
Points: 11877 Status: Regular

voting is equally useless tbh


offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2020-11-08 19:40 [#02606758]
Points: 30908 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

your dreams define you as a person


offline Tony Danza from hollywood on 2020-11-08 21:20 [#02606764]
Points: 2858 Status: Regular | Followup to dariusgriffin: #02606755



offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-11-08 21:29 [#02606766]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict | Followup to Tony Danza: #02606764, i like it, let's get a prospectus together


offline Tony Danza from hollywood on 2020-11-08 21:30 [#02606767]
Points: 2858 Status: Regular | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02606766

it's been done


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-11-08 21:31 [#02606768]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

lol, domain is taken and it is some knockoff maga merch site


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-11-08 21:31 [#02606769]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

however, is available for 49% off the usual


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-11-12 08:28 [#02606836]
Points: 6057 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

voting against laws is essential.
consumers dont have the same effect as laws.
i could buy meat from the farm and talk about it for the
rest of my life. still the laws empower a meat factory with
two thousand migrant workers living incarcerated in dorms
slaughtering 25.000 pigs a day.

its the same with any other food. the only thing i can
choose is what i put into my body. what others do is their
decision. the world we live in is the result of all our
accumulated decisions. we are doomed.


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-11-12 08:31 [#02606837]
Points: 6057 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

yeah funnily amazon just had one of their shops schemes
worked like this:
1. buy product via paypal
2. rate 5 stars
3. send screenshot to shop
4. get a full refund via paypal
5. keep the good

one shop had 7000 of those screenshots in a link to the


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-11-20 05:34 [#02606933]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict


this is what you get when you pay your workers shit, and
treat them worse


offline wavephace from off the chain on 2020-11-29 19:21 [#02607039]
Points: 3098 Status: Lurker

amazons really bad now try buying something like some
electric appliance or basic electronic equipment. they have
all these cheap made in china products from different
"brands" no 1 ever heard of, they all are exactly the same
just with a different logo on it, cuz there all made in the
same factory its terrible most of the time i just go to
target and buy whatever they have


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-11-30 00:01 [#02607042]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict | Followup to wavephace: #02607039

agree 100%

price gouging also a problem -- you can use amazon to dodge
the grocery store and whatever a bit, but there's always a
bunch of jerks gouging prices, first time i started to keep
grocery store receipts, price seems too high it probably is,
can go check.

then shit like -- a six-pack of mortite brand rope caulk for
$30, cool, home depot charges ~$6 per pack and now i don't
have to go to home depot for this. then it arrives after
FOREVER and they have sent me one pack, not six, but one for
the price of six. fuck. the fuck. off. i return it to kohls.
i hope they have to pay to ship that single stupid box of
rope caulk back to china or whatevs

so, yeah. even if it's name-brand and you're minding prices,
you can still get flagrantly fucked. i have actually never
returned anything to amazon until a few months ago, but i've
started to, with the kohl's thing. used to be you'd get
mildly scammed and think "ah well" but it's become so
flagrant and frequent that i feel like pointedly engaging
the returns process is the only valuable means of feedback i

being careful, though, a lot of stuff is still fine.


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-11-30 08:24 [#02607044]
Points: 6057 Status: Regular | Followup to wavephace: #02607039 | Show recordbag

dont forget in many cases all the products in stores around
here come in from the very same factory in china, with
retailers just slapping different logos on it, triple the
price to pay for employees and expensive storage space in
our country. totally useless in the case of cables and stuff
you know your shit about. i find this rather annoying and
feel entrapped between making the choice between buying dirt
cheap but supporting the bad working conditions overseas and
producing unneccessary packaging waste for the last 5km of
travel OR buying twice the price in a store that ultimately
supports the very same bad working conditions overseas
anyway. world economy needs to grow together to stop that
shit. either we pay he rest of the world what it works for
or we need to start over to produce our shit ourselves
import taxes or other forms of import laws are the only way
i can think of how governments could make this hapen, but
then we couldnt consume the world at a discount right?


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-12-01 19:33 [#02607045]
Points: 6057 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

heres more proof of its fraudulence


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-08 00:35 [#02607088]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

i am trying to sleep sometime early in the morning, and
smoke detectors know when you're sleeping, because that's
when they run out of batteries and start intermittently
beeping, forcing you to go around in a sleep-fogged haze,
waiting for it to beep again, gradually honing in on which
freaking one it is over the course of couple minutes of
intermittent beeping, shivering, in your pajamas, and, yes,
this one is like ten feet up or so, where's the step ladder

so i order some AA batteries off Amazon, like, Thursday or
something. I check after work and it says "delivered,"
reasonably quick, ok.

but it is not delivered. it is not anywhere. i go back and
punch up the tracking number on the usps site, and it says:
delivered at the reception area, ten towns, three counties,
and a 35 minute drive away from where you live.

'package was not delivered' i click. it tells me to wait
until it's been three days past the worst-case delivery
date, or the order is marked delivered. fuck you,
that's why i'm on this stupid page! i click "contact seller"
and it promptly funnels me into a conversation with a
chatbot. i fight with their stupid Smart Assistant for a
bit; eventually it redirects me to the same page that tells
me to fuck off.

but, this time, when i again click "contact seller" i get a
textbox. thank god. i write a polite note telling them
they've sent it to the wrong address.

it's entirely possible they're just being reaalllly
how-ya-doin with shipping, and someone in a sad beat-up
compact sedan will throw it at my house tomorrow, after
picking it up from that other place, which could be some
delivery hub. and they put in the tracking number to ship
from somewhere to there, but to my house, oh, why bother? it
was slated for dec 8-11


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-08 00:37 [#02607089]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

what else is there?

i might cave and get a BJ's membership ~ LAZY_TITLE


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-08 00:44 [#02607090]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

I am sorry. It looks there was a glitch on the amazon
back end.
Your order was shipped to the correct address
It looks there there is some delay with the carrier.
Can yo please give it till 8pm your local time tomorrow. If
you do not have it by then I will reship and expedite it for
the trouble

yeah i think i called it

arriving tomorrow is within the promised range, perfectly
acceptable, another two days even would be.

but i still feel kind of dicked around after going around
with a flashlight to see if they just threw it on the
walkway or something, craning over to see my neighbor's
porch, thinking about asking, no, let's check it first,
fighting with amazon's web site.

and today has already been full of this stuff. a bird in my
garage. hey, bird. yo, bird. no, that's the wrong direction.
the way out of the garage is that way. no, bird, under the
garage door, not over it. bird, no. that is a window. you
can't fly through a window. bird, you are are a moron


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-12 03:55 [#02607118]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

I finally got the batteries, but they are a seed of drama
growing into a drama tree. here is the scene last gnite:

I'm always cringing as I put the battery into a smoke
detector -- waiting for it to deafen me with a beep.
However, installing the finally-delivered batteries, things
seem mercifully quiet. I relax and begin to carry it towards
where it's suppos-

TEST BUTTON! *BLAP!! and it yaks some more, at deafening

I think: "Oh, when the power winked out two months ago, this
was the freaking thing that was making a racket and talking
once it came back on, at 4am."

I muffle it in a jacket until it finishes chattering. It is
11:30pm, after all. Finally, it is quiet.

Alirght! Let's go to the stairs, and try to plug it in. Is
the cable... do I have that backwards? I'm squinting at it,
when *BLAPP!!* it starts yelling again.

No, nevermind. I'm not plugging this in right now. It's
liable to set all the alarms off; call the fire department.
Report me to the FBI. the smoke detectors are literally
wired into my landlord's house next door, and if my alarms
go off, theirs do too, as this thing is yelling at me how to
configure parameters and run tests via the single button
that comprises its entire user interface.

i wrote an email to my landlord apologizing if he heard the
noise; recommending he run that smoke detector over with a
bus; replace it with a one featuring a less-obnoxious
design. he got a good laugh out of it

today, i got out my earplugs, and tried again, and so far so

i need to research how those wired detectors talk to each
other. i'm tired of not knowing what's going to flip it out


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-12-13 09:25 [#02607123]
Points: 6057 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

smoke detectors save lives!
i keep thinking i might have been happier in the woods.


offline ijonspeches from 109P/Swift-Tuttle on 2020-12-13 09:36 [#02607124]
Points: 6057 Status: Regular | Show recordbag

my gf heard a smoke alarm couple of years ago.
she peeked out into the street to figure out where it came
from. coulndt locate it, went out on the street. people
passing by not giving a shit. a window opens. person from a
flat in the inspected house looks out, asking whats up. my
gf asks about the alarm and says she is about to call the
firemen. person in that house shrugs, ok, dunno. firemen
arrive and are forced to break into the apartment after
figuring out which one the noise comes from. of course there
is no fire.

heard another case on the radio. firemen were called to
access a public electronics dumpster. someone was kind
enough to dispose of his fully funtional alarm clock,
batteries included.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-13 11:06 [#02607125]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict | Followup to ijonspeches: #02607123

smoke detectors save lives!
i keep thinking i might have been happier in the woods.

yes, this is the sort of talk that, indeed, makes people
lucky i don't have a brick in my hand, to hit them with. to
wit: i am not fucking arguing against smoke detectors in
but can you please understand that this
particular smoke detector is, in particular, a flaming
herpes hemorrhoid? and that all of the terrible design
decisions it inflicts upon my reality are of absolutely no
use w/rt not dying in a fire? thx.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-22 02:02 [#02607233]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

so let's talk about that shopping crap app, instacarp. you
know, the one with the logo that is a stick of carrot. it
is, i suppose, alright. my sense of fiscal prudence balks at
paying someone else a markup what i could just do myself,
and also have an excuse to drive my car somewhere, and maybe
smoke a zig.

but, now, my car is not in a driveable state (see: my
bullshit thred). i conveniently bought quite a bit of food,
whatever, before a snowstorm, but, frankly, i wasn't
planning on the car on top, and i need milk. and tequila.
and christmas is this week, new years the next, and i'm not
even sure what i'm going to do about my car yet, sort out a
rental or what? so let's just bite the bullet and fire up
instacarp now, today, because it's close to christmas and
impossible to get anyone until next week, and pay $$

it is very easy to order the wrong thing in the app. i
search for one thing, and it doesn't have it, sends me to
another, but it's a fucking phone and the packages are 90%
similar, so i wind up with 2x of the wrong thing, and i do
not have license to complain, really, since i didn't squnt;
mash the thumbnail until i managed to trigger zoom. which i
did for most everything, but missed for this. drat

then they always, always get at least one thing wrong on
their own. this time, i asked for half a pound of pepperoni.
very specifically, the deli pepperoni, but, well, i don't
think they wanted to take a number, they grabbed some scary
grey pre-boxed pepperoni that cost half as much and said
here you go

then they've stapled all this crap to the bags like ribbons
and candy and clorox wipes and fuck off with all the time
that took you could have just waited for the deli and gotten
it right in the first place

instacarp refunded my money for the crap pepperoni, which i
will throw out, and we're about good. i let them keep the $$
tip, since i reason that's about all they get, and ubering
to the grocery store is dfhjgkdf


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-25 14:17 [#02607255]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

returns skyrocket

“If they’re not sure of their size, they order both
sizes," he says. "If they’re not sure which color, they
order both colors. And if they’re not sure which item,
they order them all. But it’s costly to the retailers, and
the retailers are not well positioned to handle all the

yeah, i want to try clothes on, first. i suppose this is a
solution, but it means you have to go return shit rather
what, two things are shipped, you drive to the store, this
is crap for carbon emissions.

it's actually a step above "no, this is crap, this is not
what i ordered, take it back" being an increasing problem.
i've joked i should buy something crap off amazon so i can
get 15% off at kohl's, but i'd really not ever do such a

i have a feeling this may hit a wall, eventually, as
retailers get fed up with it. perhaps amazon has the scale
to keep it up, but if not, that could get ugly. suddenly
harder to return something when you've gotten ripped off,
because, sorry, that's costing us too much money... then, a
few months of ugly mishaps, people losing their money and
quitting forever, and amazon would then say: oh, yes, maybe
would should, like, do maybe just a little mild policing of
our marketplace and develop some way to recognize these
ghost outfits that change names every two months


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-25 14:20 [#02607256]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

anyways, with those batteries from above, i ordered a bunch
of other stuff, and all that was perfectly fine. but i am
always squinting at anything i order rather hard, these
days, and that's part of why. things shift in and out...
i've learned, if i order one, and it's good, if i will want
more, i should order them immediately, before it disappears.
rather like drugs. i do think i need to diversify -- like, i
want to run some ethernet cable, and amazon has that, but
maybe it's time to ring up digikey or something again,
because by the time i find out a box of cat6e is crap i'll
have run some of it and be p. fucked


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2020-12-31 14:36 [#02607317]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

article about people gaming the reviews on amazon ~


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-01-06 01:25 [#02607397]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict | Followup to EpicMegatrax: #02606509

i did not ever expect to hear anything out of this, er,
establishment, again... but, go figure, today this shows up
in my (n)box:

Hello Epic, Happy New Year! We regret that our product
did not meet your expectations. We are very sorry that you
encountered such a problem. We've made a big mistake when
producing our product in an unverified factory and did not
test batches thoroughly before shipping products out to you.
We found that one of our batches was a high defect rate, and
therefore we stopped cooperating with this factory. We
found another factory that meets high standards, also we've
improved quality control of every unit from our end. Now we
can guarantee that our quality is much better Our
startup company kindly asking you to change or remove your
negative public review:
here is how to remove: [etc] Please allow me to compensate
for your bad experience, I'd like to send you $30. Please
reply to this message if you can accept it. I'm looking
forward to hearing from you! Hope you and your family are
all good at this special time. Best regards, Tom

my first reaction is: you know what? give me your phone
number, let me call you up, and just give me a maximum of 15
minutes to ask questions about what the fuck actually goes
on back on the other end of all this. even if the answers
are horrible i will still rescind my review; i just want

then i look at the message again, and i realize: no, this is
just more horseshit. "the manufacturer was shit," well, you
know what, half my negative review is more like "the
software is fucking shit" and that's not the manufacturer's

so my third reaction is: lol, i can read my review again, i
couldn't figure out if it'd gotten blocked. it even has my
photoshop of me giving the reviewed product the finger. i
have left the link in the above quote. i think i will pass
on the gift card


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-01-06 01:39 [#02607398]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict | Followup to dariusgriffin: #02606738

can a jump jump a jumper?


offline steve mcqueen from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2021-01-09 17:03 [#02607411]
Points: 5124 Status: Addict

thought you were on Linode


offline steve mcqueen from caerdydd (United Kingdom) on 2021-01-09 17:07 [#02607412]
Points: 5124 Status: Addict

ps apparently sharkjump is not the preferred nomenclature
dude, its ... ah fek i forgot it


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-01-10 06:25 [#02607416]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

has amazon ah fek i forget it?



offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-01-13 20:05 [#02607458]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

fucking lol
they sent me another email, offering $40 this time
but they fucked up and asked me to remove my "dehumidifier"
review, this time. guess i need to watch out if i ever go to
buy a dehumidifier on amazon!

Dear Geoffrey,
Merry Christmas.

Thank you for your purchase our Humidifiers. We are terribly
sorry to learn
that u post a negative review . We are here to help !

Though our store is small with a group of hard-working young
people, we
always work till midnight and spare no effort to inspect
every details in
our product. With the goal to be a reliable seller on we
definitely take the responsibility and will always be here
till you are
completely satisfied with our service.

*$40 Gift Card will be sent after u remove the negative
review( Link as
below) u can use gift card to buy anything.*

As customer reviews is very important to us and we value
your response.
Business is not easy these days. Your help means a lot to
us. We are
grateful for that.
Please let us know when review deleted.

i laughed at their first email and didn't reply. this time,
however, i am tempted to reply with something like "rot in
hell" and then a smiley face emoji

we'll save that for the third email offering $50 to remove
negative review of a power washer or something


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-01-13 20:08 [#02607459]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

i should note that they're demanding i remove it before they
send the gift card; clearly a roll of the dice if they
actually hold up their end

bottom line, that review was real. i was mad and i went a
bit overboard, but i didn't lie or exaggerate, and i want
that review there to save someone else that same infuriating
bullshit. it's simply a terrible product that does not live
up to its claims

so, fuck off. i am never removing it.

(but, maybe, if you send me the gift card first, i will?)


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-01-13 23:00 [#02607462]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict


maybe i could report this to amazon? is offering someone to
remove a negative review in exchange for a gift card against
their policy? it wouldn't surprise me if they have no
official position on this tho


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-01-13 23:01 [#02607463]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

like -- the bribe is a $40 amazon gift card; some of that
goes back to amazon. why fight it?


offline BlatantEcho from Portland, OR (United States) on 2021-01-19 00:28 [#02607527]
Points: 7198 Status: Regular

Don't sell your soul, especially for $40.

Amazon is the enemy. I don't give them a thin dime.


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-01-29 04:43 [#02607553]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

if you want pure sewage type "usb key" into amazon


after adding a million search filters it starts to be
usable: usb 3, fuck the usb 2 crap. only 4 stars and up.
8-32gb. nothing under $12 dolla, no real basis for that
number, just my personal feel for filtering out the most
toxic results


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-02-17 01:05 [#02607641]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

sting operation by consumer group exposes reviewbombing

previously, "The Case of the Cat Litter Arbitrageurs,
which is not only brilliantly written... but, the weird
crappy "defective unit" thing is actually quite similar to
the weirdly almost identical emails to remove my bad

apparently it costs the about $10k for 1000 fake reviews;
grabbing you the "amazon's choice" label for an air fryer or
something. if you can report it and get it pulled, well,
that's satisfying financial pain... now they have to get
another fake 1000 reviews for 10k... the problem is,
apparently, that amazon giveth not a shit. i imagine they
profit off of the fraud just like the scammers do; fees for
selling on the amazon platform, good money spinner that, why
turn down the revenue?


offline EpicMegatrax from Greatest Hits on 2021-02-25 01:30 [#02607735]
Points: 17212 Status: Addict

yes hello


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