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 (nobody)...and 561 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614087 Today 0 Topics 127542 |
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I acquired qrter's tongue, and so like any sane person, cut a small hole in the opposite end of the tip and hung it up on a nail next to my toilet to use as toilet paper. Well one day when I was in a nice blissful trance cleaning up the last particles of Extra Chunky Jif with it, it suddenly convulsed. A moment later it began licking me. About 3 hours later when I was finally satisfied enough with that, I brought this curiosity up to eye level for a closer inspection. It seemed to be licking in patterns, but then I realized it wasn't 'licking' so to speak, but rather trying to talk. I thought about my own ability to talk for awhile to try and understand what this tongue was missing to do so itself. So I kind of cupped my hand against my anus with it in between to form an artificial mouth for it. The I realized I use air from my throat. So I let loose a long fart from my endless supply to give it an artificial voice... and this is what it said (in a strange hollow voice): "T-U-R-T-L-E Power! T-U-R-T-L-E Power! T-U-R-T-L-E Power! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! In a half shell, they're the heroes four. In this day and age who could ask for more? The crime wave is high with muggings mysterious. Our police and detectives are furious, 'Cause they can't find the source, Of this lethally evil force. This is serious so give me a quarter. I was a witness, get me a reporter! Call April O'Neil in on this case, and You'd better hurry up, there's no time to waste! We need help, like quick, on the double. Have pity on the city, man it's in trouble! We need heroes like the Lone Ranger When Tonto came pronto, when there was danger. They didn't say they'd be there in half an hour, 'Cause they displayed...Turtle Power! T-U-R-T-L-E Power! T-U-R-T-L-E Power! T-U-R-T-L-E Power! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! T-U-R-T-L-E Power! T-U-R-T-L-E Power! T-U-R-T-L-E Power! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" |
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that's magic. |
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careful now, brother's got aids |
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quick summary of the thread please |
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qrter; ninja turtles. |
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I liked this, except for the fact that he said "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", because that's a bit too close to reality and it was a rubbish show. |
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best thread this week |
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did you say something back? |
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By the time it was done talking I was too love struck to say anything back. We just started ravenously french kissing, using both my hands to form his mouth. It tasted like my own poop which was delicious. |
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i wish i never asked. now im envious. |
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haha |
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lol! |
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how the hell did i miss this gem! |
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now I understand why Qrter doesnt say a word anymore on this messageboard. |
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Alright, so I walk into KFC right. Time to visit the good old Colonel Sanders and get some popcorn chicken I walk up to the counter, and there's this fucking fat slag about to order, and when I say fat I mean FUCKING HUGE, like this slag made me think there was an extra register operating she took up so much fucking space. So she starts ordering, 'Um yeh I'll just get a Family Feast. But with no drinks please." The guy serving her has a straight face. He says "Okay ma'am. But you can tell he's hiding his nervous laughter. She says "I'mma cuttin down" An ominous silence overlapped all the ambient noise one would expect in such a place. So i'm looking around and see that this fat slag is by herself... And she's JUST getting a Family Fucking Feast!!! I try to contain my laughter and fail miserably, so there I am, standing in line pissing myself at this obese slut and every cunt is looking at me like I'm the horrible one, like fuck, maybe we all need to laugh you know? Make she should think twice about adding a few more sweaty rolls to her body. Anyways, she asks the dude at the register for 18 sweet and sour sauces and I'm like WTF? What does this fat slut do? Drink fucking sweet and sour sauces? So I order my popcorn chicken, and then i go and sit at the table right next to her so I can laugh while I eat my meal. Nothing like watching a fat slut choke down a family feast. She finishes most of her meal with just a few pieces of original chicken to go, and she picks up the sweet and sour sauce. She starts rubbing the sauce all over herself, I was amazed to say the least, this was the most erotic experience I had ever had in KFC. I watched intently as she started rubbing the sweet and sour sauce all over her tits, they were huge, but all fat sluts have massive tits... Nothing special. Yeh they were nothing special until her nipple popped out it was one of those massive ones that cover the whole end of the tit She looked at me and I said 'Yeh, shit yeh'. That was all this fat slut |
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That was all this fat slut needed, she walked over to my table with all her sweet and sour sauces. So this fucking obese slag is standing infront of me rubbing the sauce all over her gigantic tit, and I didn't know what to do, I was somewhat aroused... But I was totally disgusted, she was a fucking beast. To my fucking horror, this fat wench drops to the floor and takes off my shoe and my sock, she dips my toes into the sweet and sour sauce, I'm thinking WTF is this fat slut doing! She licks it off, but she's not just licking, she seemed to be licking in distinct patterns, but then I realized it wasn't 'licking' so to speak, but rather trying to talk. It dawned on me. Holy shit. It was qrters tongue. How did this beast acquire qrters tongue. I thought she was going to eat me. She said, "Ooh I'm thirsty." Because of my experience with qrters tongue, I could translate it into a more elaborate message. At that moment I knew she wanted all the fluids inside me, so in my last moments i thought that at least I can help her out. So I said. "Go get some water you fat fucking bitch. She looks up and winks at me, her tit with the giant nipple on it is still hanging out. Her tongue and monolithic nipple converged in what could only be described as a slow motion stanley kubrick shot zooming in from outer space. The tongue and the nipple started dancing together to the beat of a complex alien rhythm formed from the chicken strips that she was manipulating in her throat which was a sample from autechre's next album entitled quarsttituorquinquagintaquadringentilliard. The two wet points now locked and interwined gradually until there was a full force sucking. Her tit started glowing and became transluscent and I could see her glands inside, like right out of Altered States. The chicken organism she she had developed with her gut stretched into her veiny tit and stimulated the gland into realeasing an everlasting reservoir of some filthy murky, swampwater shit or ooze, possibly reminiscent from the toxic o |
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ooze that transformed the Ninja Turtles. After a buildup the tip of her fucking tit blew up and blasted the insides of her cheeks until the fat flaps were practically flying. Black liquid sprayed from her eyes and nose and ears. Her hair fell out and was replaced by what loooked like rapidly forming boils. She kept convulsing and growing like a massive tumour akira-style and her tongue started sprouting eyeballs. Panicking, I looked over at my popcorn chicken and thought to offer it to her in exchange for my life. She denied me saying that she doesn't negotiate with her meals. The chicken in my bag was assembling together like a cluster of cancerous cells, all secreting a nasty kind of puss. I pleaded to this abomination. I felt high. Was I hallucinating all this? What the fuck did I eat!? I said I wasn't on the menu. She moaned in demonic proportions, pulling her eyes back and making all sorts of weird popping and gurrgling sounds with the saliva and sweet n sour chicken grease in her mouth while her fat gelatinous chin sac vibrated and looked like a bubbling egg yolk. Of course it popped all over me and I knew that was her cue to lick me whole. She said she was an inorganic being which had eaten my mind on a plane of existence so now I was only food to her here. It was a convincing argument to say the least so I gave in. I was disturbed, but a part of me thought it rude to spoil her meal, so i let her lick the sauce puss egg matter off. plus i thought it's not every day that an obese slut is sucking on your toes, so why not. |
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creative writing 101. is that yourself? the avatar, like? |
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I got a job making money for the man throwing chicken in the bucket with the soda pop can puke green uniform on my back I had to set it on fire in a vat of chicken fat I leaped on the counter like a bird with no hair running through the mini mall in my underwear I got lost downtown couldn't find a ride home sun went down I got frozen to the bone 'til a hooker let me share her fake fur coat as I took a little nap the cops picked up us both I tried to explain I was only trying to get warm I knew I never ever should have burnt my uniform He said too bad. You want to bite the bullet hard son? I didn't have no teeth so I stole his gun and I crawled out the window with my shadow on a spoon dancing on the roof, shooting holes in the moon get busy, get busy, you know it I ain't going to work for no soul-sucking jerk I'm gonna take it all back and I ain't saying jack [repeat] Standing right here with a beer in my hand and my mouth is full of sand and I don't understand fourteen days I've been sleeping in the barn better I get a paycheck tattooed on my arm whistling dixie with the dixie cup filled with the barbecue sauce and the dental floss chill big fat fingers pointing into my face telling me to get busy cleaning up this place I got bent like a wet cigarette and she's coming after me with a butterfly net riding on the bloodhound ringing the bell black cat wrapped in the road map to hell pencil on my leg and I'm trying not to beg taking turns baking worms with the bacon and eggs well they got me in a bird cage flapping my jaw like a pretzel in the stars just waiting to fall so give me what I got to get so I can go cause I ain't washing dishes in the ditch no mo' I ain't going to work for no soul-sucking jerk I'm gonna take it all back and I ain't saying jack |
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we are all qrter in a way |
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we are all qrter in 1/4 way |
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i just had male sex with qrter, he hates xltronic and is now helping the church to believe in Jebus |
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The anus of an alien is very soft. |
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