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 Now online (1)belb ...and 426 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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I haven’t communicated with my oldest brother for awhile and just recently started exchanging emails with him again. As it turns out, he still has a no-talk-or-see policy when it comes to our father. In fact, when referring to our father, I state that he is MY father or dad, as in: “Yeah, mom said such and such and MY father didn’t care.” My brother doesn’t attempt to correct or question how I present the possession our father solely to me. Yeah, my brother and father have had a tumultuous relationship over the years which include his embittered feelings toward him for the divorce of our mother that resulted from our dad’s infidelity. I, personally, have only had a few scuffles with my father in my youth, once protecting said brother from him while he was in a drunken rage. But I don’t really see how I could totally disavow my father. I’m privy to all the facts of the situations in question and I don’t find reason for my brother’s attitude... So the questions are: Have you ever gotten in to it with your father, “bumped heads?” If so, will you always hold a grudge regardless? |
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i get along great with my dad. we have even smoked herb together which was a great bonding experience. on the other hand, my family has never been very affectionate, and I feel wierd hugging my parents or even my sister. also, we rarely say "i love you" to eachother. still, we are quite civil to eachother and visit often and spend holidays with together and such. i realize i didn't really answer your questions. |
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i had a similar situation for a long time, my sister didn't talk to my father for 7 years but she gave it up eventually because of some health issues he has |
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my dad and i have nothing to talk about. hes just a housemate. it would be really awkward if i walked into his room and asked him 'whats up', he'd be like "what?" "what happened!" |
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my Father and I get along better now than we ever have. He's my father, not my mate, which sits well with me. like evolume, my family isn't overly affectionate, but it is supportive and loving, in an unspoken way. he only ever knocked me to the ground once. I deserved it. |
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You know, this entire thread, the idea of "Against Thy Father" is reallly, really good material for a theme to a song. And I would like to use it as a premise to base somthing off of. You know like this, say: Say, there is a family where the father is dead, and the mother is left to raise two children alone. A boy is angry at his father (like most boys are at a certain age.) Only, he is angry at his father for dying. Angry because now he see's what it has done to his mother and other brother. Only he is still a little too young to understand and feel complete sorrow and grief as most mpeople would past a certain age. The boy is maybe 9 or 10. He's angry at his father for leaving them all behind. I really think it's a great idea for a song, and I'm going to get started on it ASAP. |
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I actually may have some stuff that could fit this (it's in a bit of an odd timesig, though), and I find it hard to work on it without it getting either too random or repetitive.. maybe vocals could help? |
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I'll see what Andy can get together. He sings great. We'll lay down something acoustic and you can do the synth part and drums. I just talked to him and that's what he wants, maybe like electrofolk style, but very, very, VERY minor and downtempo. I'm excited for this, it's just a great idea. It feels powerful to me, maybe it's just me. :\ |
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my father and i are both grown men and i dont hold grudges because its too bad for the psychical energies. i believe in a policy of true love i.e. everyone being themselves despite any fear, because the consequences are just too painful otherwise. thatne |
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heh, I was mostly fishing for a way to finish this track because I really want to finish it, but I don't know if it is possible with just adding new instruments or melody lines... it's a very.. vocal-ish song... |
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i get along with my dad quite alright. we talk like 10 minutes per two months, and sometimes i visit him and mom and stay at their house and we talk more then..nothing important though, just joke around and stuff. if i have something semi important to talk about i find my mom easier to talk to, with dad that comes down to just stripped facts. but yeah, when we get together we usually make fun of mum..in a non offensive way. |
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Gotta get back to class, lets talk about this later in detail. |
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i've had a strange relationship with my father in that we've never really talked, ever. we talk - rarely - about music and current affairs in politics, but never current affairs of our own lives. that's just the way it is though. i think it's unwise and pointless to hold a grudge like that. he's your brother's father, for god's sake. your enemies can destroy you, your friends can leave you, but you'll always have your family.. that's the way it's meant to be. i'd really reconsider things if i were your brother. |
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k. cool beans. |
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My father is awesome, we drink beer and talk about synths while listening to good 70's rock music. |
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oh, right on topic yeah, my dad is great! we drink beers and talk about good jazz music.. most of my jazz music (cds) are bought by him.. I suddenly get a call from him and he's at the record store with a cd and he says "yeah, it's very good. do you want it? I already have it, but I could buy it for you as I'm already here." |
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Haven't seen my dad since I was 5, but it's never been a source of sadness or regret or anything... I don't really feel any feeling in particular towards him. Not angry at him, but at the same time, I've had the chance to talk to him and I declined. Just doesn't matter to me. |
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as much i know me the much i know my daddy... and the much i know me,the much i know all. yo*Ophecks you will have more chances to talk with he? |
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i have a very father-son relationship with my dad, which is great. there was a dead few years of my teens that i didnt really appreciate him at all but im glad thats over with, its a good feeling to respect your dad. did anyone else find they get on so much better with him when they moved out? |
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My father is a really bad person in general and has done some bad things in the past and im not a forgiving person |
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My father is a complete cock. He had an affair with a slag and went back to her even though he told us (me & my mum) that he wanted to stop it. He now has someone new now that my mum and him are divorced and he's rubbing my face into it again. Why do all the bastards have fun? |
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yes. also as both of us have gotten older we've learned to shovel our shit aside so as to not let it get in the way of us being civil towards each other. although it still gets a bit smelly sometimes. |
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yeah its all about getting older and settling yer heads on things... time heals all wounds. |
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My was was a mod and is a stylish, funny guy. |
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my father's cool, we're buddys. very hardworking guy. we joke a lot together and play chess. he was always there for me and still is. |
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Very nice concept there swift-jams, it reminds me of a short story that I wrote in high school English class or something, before I was kicked out. It was about a tyrannical father of three boys and their “reunion” at his funeral when they are much older. Tempers flare distinctly between the two oldest brothers: One sticks up for the father while the other still carries the pain of abuse and broken dignity. The oldest was an athlete in school and found the good graces of his father while the other was more of a sensitive, intellectual type that had to protect their youngest brother from the brunt of their father’s wrath (This was written as flashbacks). The end is anticlimactic in that as they sit in silence around the casket residing themselves to agree to disagree, the sensitive brother notices that his older brother now, in the darkness of the room, resembles their dead father in more than a genetic way, with black rings under his eyes, a blank, rage-filled stare, all the attributes that defined their villian of a father... redrum – As cliché as it sounds, it’s absolutely true, “you’ll always have your family.” Or at least you should. And to be perfectly honest, it has taken me a long time to sincerely understand that. My father has done some awful things to me and the rest of my family, but he did what he could as a father to raise me and I love him for that... |
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My "dad" is more or less just a sperm donar, my mom ditched his arse when i was 5, my step-dad Jim=bo is 10x more of a dad to me :) |
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Thanks man. :) thanks for the inspiration. I want to do just a soft, almost hidden guitar line, and more moving, powerful piano, and lyrics are spoken a near whisper. Two voices, male and female one on each side of the stereo L/R. |
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In harmony. Harmony to help show that in the end, you really can't hate your father, because, after all, he is your father. But it tears you apart to see hm hurt you and your family so. |
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being adopted puts me in a somewhat unique position. its been about a year since i was in contact with my real mother, and still havent managed to get a hold of my biological father. my mother chooses to play games with me when i ask about my actual family. she apparently a drug ridden alchoholic. its unfortunate and out of my control. as for my adopted father. its tenuous at best part of the time. he fell over at work and now he's getting a bunch of tests done to see whats wrong with him. and so i get an e-mail saying that he loves me and wants to talk to me and such. i only think hes doing it because he thinks his end is near. so put aside the bullshit that built into resentment - ive decided to talk to him again. regardless of the past, he was a major part in my life. respect still needs to be given even if most of it was shit. love ya dad. |
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Hmmm, I am a father now and one thing is for sure, I want to be a better one for my kids than my own father were for me. I had a similar no-talk-or-see policy regarding my father for 3 or 4 years at my mid twenties. I never felt that he understood me or even tried to understand me and that has always made me feel bad. We had one deep conversation once and that meant very much to me. It was a new years eve and everyone else had gone to bed except the two of us. We kept drinking and talking and we managed to express our mutual respect for each other and he managed to say that he was sorry for his absence during my childhood. He worked off-shore for many years so he was more of a stranger to us than a father, an authority-figure that we feared more than we loved and respected. So that and the fact that he is a naturally reserved person made it hard for us to get along... Things are way better between us now that I have kids of my own. If our relationship is not exactly affectionate, I really value his opinion and he is the first I call for advice on practical matters like buying a car or changing the mixing battery for the shower and such. I sense that he feels good about that and I guess he is relieved that he can finally be a father to me for real. It is also quite evident that he admirers me when it comes to my own kids. I am very affectionate with them and that's the way it should be in my opinion... If you have trouble with your parents you should really make an effort to improve it because I think that in the end you'll regret it if you don't. |
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