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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 14:58 [#01869221]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular
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I need some help......
My father-in-laws ex-girlfriend has a son, aged 8. He's had a rough time in the last few years.... his Dad walked out on the family 2 years ago to be with one of his 18 year old students, and my father-in-law has just left as well..... basically because he used to get violent and abusive towards the kids..... bit of a fucked up situation.
Anyway, I still catch up with the family, and the son and his younger sister seem to idolise me a bit (maybe because I'm the only male in their lives that hasn't fucked them over). He's into Eminem, which is all good, but I noticed last night that his favourite tracks are the really negative ones, about Eminem's abusive father and mother, and his generally fucked up life. I want to give him some Hip-hop ("rap" as he calls it) with a more positive vibe, which is still "cool" in his eyes. Can anyone make some suggestions? It's not a genre I know much about, but something with lyrics that aren't all doom and gloom, and preferably without a lot of swearing. This kid is a good kid, and I guess I want to try and help him in anyway I can.
Fuck the abusers.............
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plaidzebra
from so long, xlt on 2006-03-29 15:03 [#01869222]
Points: 5678 Status: Lurker
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i wish i had some suggestions, but unfortunately i'm pretty ignorant when it comes to this music. but cheers to you for trying to help the kid out, it helps to remember that the abusers might not have turned out the way they did if they had had someone positive like you around.
my only suggestion is to remember to bump this when the board is more active, doesn't seem like there's a lot of action about now...
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2006-03-29 15:04 [#01869223]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular
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Jurrassic 5 Talib Kwali blackstar old Tribe Called Quest - Low End Theory
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2006-03-29 15:07 [#01869226]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular
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Diggable Planets - Blowout Comb (oldschool rap there)
of course these suggestions I've made aren't completely devoid of swearing or dark ghetto violence talk, but i think these artists focus more on the music and less on the ego.. sort of?
ooh, Beans is good too in that respect.
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 15:08 [#01869228]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to plaidzebra: #01869222
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Cheers :)
You're right, my Father-in-law is a product of his own (abusive) father, and my Brother-in-law has turned out just the same, if not worse.....
I don't know how much I can do, but I guess I can try and at this point no-one seems to be doing that for this kid.
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horsefactory
from 💠 (United Kingdom) on 2006-03-29 15:10 [#01869230]
Points: 14867 Status: Regular
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3ft high and rising by de la soul
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2006-03-29 15:11 [#01869231]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular
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sorry to keep spamming,
Dr. Octogon is a fun album too but maybe too much swearing and like porn talk? don't know.. you might want to give these suggestions a listen yourself of course if you are concerned about the content.
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2006-03-29 15:11 [#01869233]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to horsefactory: #01869230
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i second the De La Soul reccomendation.
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 15:12 [#01869234]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to evolume: #01869226
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Thanks for your input........ I can pick and choose tracks and put together a compilation CD for him.... I'll try to edit out anything I feel is really unsuitable........
So if you, or anyone, can suggest particular tracks, that would be really useful.
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JivverDicker
from my house on 2006-03-29 15:12 [#01869235]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to horsefactory: #01869230
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seconded
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 15:13 [#01869236]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to horsefactory: #01869230
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De La Soul! Great idea!
evolume: spam away, everything helps
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Drunken Mastah
from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2006-03-29 16:27 [#01869273]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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if he's into eminem you should check if he actually listens to lyrics, or if he's one of those that just mostly listens to the beats.. just ask him "what's this song about?" when you see him listening to eminem...
also:
blackalicious mr lif
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 16:39 [#01869283]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to Drunken Mastah: #01869273
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He can recite the lyrics for two or three of his tracks.... i can't remember the names of the tracks, but it was all about his father leaving, and beating him up and people crying etc. etc. Just full-on, I thought, for an 8 year-old to be identifying with. And he knew Eminems mother was a drug addict and that he dropped out of school. I don't mind Eminem, but in this case, he's not a role model this kid needs right now.
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big
from lsg on 2006-03-29 16:51 [#01869285]
Points: 23730 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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i don't know wether it's bad perse when he hears has some music he can relate to, it could be like therapy, you shouldn't censor but i guess that's not your objective
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 17:29 [#01869292]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to big: #01869285
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For sure............ I just don't want to see him dwell on the negativity ..... in some ways the tracks are legitimising how he feels, letting him know that he is not to blame (he and his sister have both vocalised that they believe they were responsible for my father-in-law leaving them)..... I just wanted to provide a counterpoint, a positive side.... he's writing his own kooky raps and he enjoys singing....... any exposure to new and interesting music should be a good thing....... I think so, at least....
At the end of the day, I don't know if I can make a difference, I don't know if I'm going to do any good, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to stand on the side-line and ignore someone you has been mistreated by every man in his life through no fault of his own.
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big
from lsg on 2006-03-29 17:39 [#01869294]
Points: 23730 Status: Lurker | Followup to darkpromenade: #01869292 | Show recordbag
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it is a great idea, i would try to introduce him to as much music, rap, as possible, i would show him nice stuff that's been suggested here (i don't know (like) much rap either, i'd like to introduce him to more melodic stuff as well), i wouldn't blame you for not focussing on gangsterrap.
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JivverDicker
from my house on 2006-03-29 17:45 [#01869296]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #01869292
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The rap things maybe won't work. I tried a similar thing a bit ago but it didn't work. Forget music, take him/her to enjoy some other activity. Play some of his/her music at a crap part of the trip.
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 18:01 [#01869305]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to JivverDicker: #01869296
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Yeah, I've been thinking about taking him out somewhere as well........
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 18:03 [#01869307]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular
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I think it probably dosn't really matter what I do, as long as I do something
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JivverDicker
from my house on 2006-03-29 18:17 [#01869311]
Points: 12102 Status: Regular | Followup to darkpromenade: #01869307
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You will do okay. The best thing is to do something they haven't done yet. Whatever you're interested in do that. I loved people that would get into microbiotics even though I knew shit all about it.
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darkpromenade
from Australia on 2006-03-29 18:23 [#01869312]
Points: 2777 Status: Regular | Followup to JivverDicker: #01869311
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:) thanks dude.......
(what's microbiotics???)
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lupus yonderboy
from 1970. (United Kingdom) on 2006-03-29 18:24 [#01869313]
Points: 1985 Status: Lurker
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the best thing i think is simply to be yourself with him. the fastest way to learn is seeing, if you are positive, engaging and listen to him he'll respond to you. It might be useful to you to read up some of the psychological aspects of trauma on the web, you can quickly see the different coping mechanisms that people employ, and the cognitive cycles and rationalizations about the world that inform their behaviour. http://www.sidran.org/whatistrauma.html is somewhere to start.
Sooth and protect are the key actions following abuse, i would also recommend investigating counciling, it could change his life. But simply by being an ear, listening and encouraging him to make choices and regain control in his life you can support him. I'd add that listening to eminem is likely a positive release of emotion for him and i wouldn't remove/actively discourage it.
good luck sir.
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QRDL
from Poland on 2006-03-29 18:32 [#01869315]
Points: 2838 Status: Lurker
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If he enjoys listening to music at this age, maybe you could think about getting him an instrument. 8 is a perfect age to start playing something.
I'm sorry that I can't give you any musical suggestions as mine would consist of two polish guys. Jurrasic 5 seconded.
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dog_belch
from Netherlands, The on 2006-03-29 18:34 [#01869317]
Points: 15098 Status: Addict | Show recordbag
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When I was 8 I spent my time playing with toys, I don't know if I was listening to conciousness raising, issue awareness rap. Kids grow up so fast today.
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QRDL
from Poland on 2006-03-29 18:41 [#01869318]
Points: 2838 Status: Lurker
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I remember that when I was 10 I listened to some abominal polish rap full off violence and bad language. Every cool guy in my school knew the lyrics by heart, but I remember that they meant nothing to me, just plain rythmical chanting.
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evolume
from seattle (United States) on 2006-03-29 19:11 [#01869320]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular | Followup to QRDL: #01869318
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when i was a youngster, all my friends and i were into like Sir Mixalot's album 'SWASS' and i guess some Run DMC. Mostly because it was fun to memorize the lyrics and like shout them while we played teather ball or 4 square or dodgeball.
"Buttermilk biscuits here we go sift the flower roll the dough, clap your hands and stomp your feet, move your butt to the funky beat, hyuk hyuuugh."
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hedphukkerr
from mathbotton (United States) on 2006-03-29 19:23 [#01869325]
Points: 8833 Status: Regular
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im sure these have all been said already, but im lazy and dont want to read so:
jurassic 5 a tribe called quest outkast
and immortal technique and saul williams if you want to get him all angry at the gov't instead of his homelife.
[sorry, ur not gonna find much hiphop sans swearing, but hell, the kids already heard anything he could from eminem anyways, so...]
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i_x_ten
from arsemuncher on 2006-03-29 19:24 [#01869328]
Points: 10031 Status: Regular
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dilated peoples
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Rostasky
from United States on 2006-03-29 19:37 [#01869331]
Points: 1572 Status: Lurker
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Doesn't Jurassic 5 make a point of being non-badass? There is nothing wrong with them, but if the kid you are talking about wants to listen to cool music, I don't know if Jurassic 5 sounds similar enough to what is out today for him to accept it. I haven't heard much of them, though. Find rappers that swear less incidentally, not as a means to their music.
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hedphukkerr
from mathbotton (United States) on 2006-03-29 20:22 [#01869342]
Points: 8833 Status: Regular | Followup to Rostasky: #01869331
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well that tends to be the difference between hiphop and rap (altho its a silly distinguishment to begin with).
problem is, hip hop is good, rap isnt.
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Gwely Mernans
from 23rd century entertainment (Canada) on 2006-03-29 20:26 [#01869344]
Points: 9856 Status: Lurker
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outkast - aquemini
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unabomber
from Palma de Mallorca (Spain) on 2006-03-29 23:58 [#01869378]
Points: 3756 Status: Regular
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"At the end of the day, I don't know if I can make a difference, I don't know if I'm going to do any good, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to stand on the side-line and ignore someone you has been mistreated by every man in his life through no fault of his own"
This world needs more people like you.
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roygbivcore
from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2006-03-30 00:00 [#01869379]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker
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all i listen to is young jeezy he talks about selling coke cause real niggas do real things
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Drunken Mastah
from OPPERKLASSESVIN!!! (Norway) on 2006-03-30 05:27 [#01869466]
Points: 35867 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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oh, the roots too
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