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fleetmouse
from Horny for Truth on 2006-01-18 11:32 [#01821533]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker
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I thought this was a good read.
____________________________________
Jan. 18, 2006 | It's good to know how to lie, and lie effectively, so you can go backstage after the high school production of "The Crucible" in which your friend's daughter mumbled her lines and stood like a fencepost, trying to look horrified and looking drugged instead, and now here she is, fluttery, ashen-faced, perspiring, and you say, "It was fascinating to watch. You were so in the moment, Lindsey. So believable. It really resonated with that audience, there was so much intensity." The truth is that she has no more talent than the average cocker spaniel -- but so what? There's no need to face the truth all at once.
People ask you how you are, you say fine, even if you have a grinding headache. People congratulate you on having done a fine job raising your children, you say thank you, even though you know the truth.
On the other hand, one should not lie to oneself. If the book you've been working on for two years is a leaking boat that needs to be scuttled, this is not to be denied. You look in the mirror and it's clear: The zero-dessert policy must now go into effect. Your wife says your drinking is a problem. That means it's a problem.
On the third hand, self-deception is useful. Some things are better endured by ignoring them. Old age, for one. The whining sound under your seat on the 727 flying over Lake Michigan, for another. And when you're feeling overwhelmed by your obligations, it's better just to put on your blinders and haul the beer wagon forward.
But everyone needs a few friends with whom one can be honest. I quit smoking 20-some years ago because my friend Butch Thompson and I promised each other that we'd try to quit, and that before smoking another cigarette, we would call up the other one and tell him. This worked like a charm. I dreaded having to make that call, so did he, and we each trusted the other to be honest. This is what friends are for.
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fleetmouse
from Horny for Truth on 2006-01-18 11:33 [#01821534]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker
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If you go and do a shameful thing, such as shoot your parents so you can inherit their estate, you should have at least one friend to whom you could confide the cheesy details. You'd say, "I couldn't believe that was me, aiming the pistol at the back of Mom's head as she stood at the Mixmaster. I am feeling, like, totally remorseful right now. And I'm wondering if, like, it might've been a sugar rush from, like, the Twinkies." And the friend would say, "Well, you were having some big mood swings. And the job market is tight, so naturally you were anxious about money. But those bright orange coveralls look rather striking on you. And this Plexiglas partition between us doesn't bother me as much as I had thought it would. And I don't think you would've been a good parent anyway, so it's lucky that you won't have to face that question."
I have not been that sort of close confidant to my friends, alas. They don't reveal the seamy underside of their lives to me, perhaps because I am a writer who might exploit their shameful story, or perhaps because they have no shameful secrets to share. Or because they believe you're supposed to say "Fine" when someone asks how you are.
But who tells the truth to the man who is driving straight into the setting sun and thinks he's heading due east? His wife murmurs that, uh, maybe we should look at a map, and he accuses her of being a defeatist who tries to tear him down any way she can in order to conceal her own lack of ideas. The man is heading the wrong way and speeding and the idiot light is flashing -- low oil pressure -- and the idiot is trying to be manly and authoritative but everyone can see he's faking it, hoping for God to rearrange the landscape for his convenience. Someone ought to speak up, and yet he is fascinating. As the administration is these days, so resonant and believable. The Arctic icecap melts and the Chinese finance our tax cuts and someday we will have spent six years and trillions of dollars to bring democracy to Iraq, whatever
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fleetmouse
from Horny for Truth on 2006-01-18 11:33 [#01821537]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker
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that may mean, and the SUV of state turns toward the setting sun, driven by cocker spaniels. And there is so much intensity there, and they are so much in the moment.
- - - - - - - - - - - - (Garrison Keillor's "A Prairie Home Companion" can be heard Saturday nights on public radio stations across the country.)
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epohs
from )C: on 2006-01-18 11:43 [#01821543]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker
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Is this a transcript from Prairie Home Companion?
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fleetmouse
from Horny for Truth on 2006-01-18 11:45 [#01821544]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker
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It was in Salon. I would have linked to it but they make you look at an ad before you see any articles.
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plantre
from United States on 2006-01-18 11:46 [#01821546]
Points: 469 Status: Regular
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i LOVE Garrison Keillor.
and npr is the best radio station i've ever heard.
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 11:48 [#01821548]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator
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nice little fictfactoid.
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epohs
from )C: on 2006-01-18 11:50 [#01821550]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker
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It is impossible for me to read that article without hearing Garrison's buttery smooth grampa voice.
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 11:54 [#01821555]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to epohs: #01821550
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it's getting you all hot and bothered, isn't it..
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lumpenprol
from San Francisco on 2006-01-18 12:18 [#01821579]
Points: 76 Status: Lurker
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I loathe Garrison Keillor.
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Ceri JC
from Jefferson City (United States) on 2006-01-18 12:19 [#01821582]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag
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I've read Lake Wobegon Days and Coming Home. Great books.
I also always imagine sneakattack looking the spit of him.
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rarndaraki
from from from from (United States) on 2006-01-18 12:46 [#01821615]
Points: 1833 Status: Regular
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somewhere on my computer i've got tracks of Tiki playing on Garrison Keillor's after "prarie home companion" show.
There's a moment when he says, "IDM... I suppose we'll just know what this is when we hear it, won't we? It doesn't really need explanation." And then, I figideted in my seat and so he says, "Oh, I was wrong. I guess it does need explanation" and he thrusts the mic in front of my face. I say, with a shaky voice,
"Well....it's an old genre title.... and ..... i think...... most people don't like it.... but it was created in the early 90s..... and that's all I have to say."
The audience laughed at me and then we start playing.
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 13:05 [#01821628]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to rarndaraki: #01821615
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you'll have to post the mp3 now.
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rarndaraki
from from from from (United States) on 2006-01-18 13:15 [#01821641]
Points: 1833 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #01821628
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i'll do it when i get back home. i'm using a school computer.
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 13:18 [#01821647]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to rarndaraki: #01821641
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coolz0rrrr.r.
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rarndaraki
from from from from (United States) on 2006-01-18 16:54 [#01821805]
Points: 1833 Status: Regular
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okay, I've uploaded the little bit with Garrison. Check it out
If I could upload more MB i'd upload the songs too, but alas...
Check it out, it's titled "garrison"
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 16:57 [#01821808]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to rarndaraki: #01821805
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tee hee..
you sound lovely and dorky when you pause and say "created...... in the early nineties..".
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rarndaraki
from from from from (United States) on 2006-01-18 16:57 [#01821809]
Points: 1833 Status: Regular | Followup to rarndaraki: #01821805
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i think this is a must listen for everyone on this message board
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 17:00 [#01821811]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to rarndaraki: #01821809
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the breathy quiver in your voice is like tiny birdsong.
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epohs
from )C: on 2006-01-18 17:01 [#01821813]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker | Followup to rarndaraki: #01821805
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oh man, what an awesome clip!
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rarndaraki
from from from from (United States) on 2006-01-18 17:02 [#01821816]
Points: 1833 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #01821811
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what can i say? Garrison is an intimidating man... he made me nervous. I think it's cause his face is resembles a fish.
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 17:03 [#01821817]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to rarndaraki: #01821816
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were you perhaps in fear that you'd have to fight him?
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epohs
from )C: on 2006-01-18 17:03 [#01821818]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker
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hahahah
oh man, i love it very muchly.
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rarndaraki
from from from from (United States) on 2006-01-18 17:07 [#01821824]
Points: 1833 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #01821817
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actually, yes...
we (me, brett, and graham) were in the bathroom backstage, just hanging out, running our hands under warm water, etc... This was a few minutes before we were to go on, and we were pretty excited because the fitzgerald theater is beautiful place to play. Graham was a bit pissed off at Garrison Keillor because Garrison was slightly poking fun at us the entire night. Anyways, he started making this fish face in order to imitate Garrison, and then he said how Garrison probably snorts coke of the bathroom floor. It was funny, we were all laughing really hard.
So we walk out of the bathroom and BAM, guess who's waiting to use it? The man himself, mr Keillor. We all just sort of nod heads at him and then, after he's in the bathroom, burst out laughing.
So, yea, i was afraid of him after that.
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 17:16 [#01821833]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to rarndaraki: #01821824
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you guys!!!!
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big
from lsg on 2006-01-18 17:20 [#01821837]
Points: 23729 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag
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people like you give idm a bad name
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rarndaraki
from from from from (United States) on 2006-01-18 17:21 [#01821838]
Points: 1833 Status: Regular | Followup to big: #01821837
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yea. i ruined it for everyone.
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qrter
from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2006-01-18 17:22 [#01821839]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator
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speaking like some goddamn IDM ambassador..
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rarndaraki
from from from from (United States) on 2006-01-18 17:24 [#01821840]
Points: 1833 Status: Regular | Followup to qrter: #01821839
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honestly. who do i think i am?
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