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There was a guy I used to work with, a morbidly obese 35 year-old who still lived with his mother. He sort of looked like fron 3rd Rock from the Sun/Jurassic Park. Anyway, he used to tell all these crazy lies like: He had met or hung out with various celebrities like David Beckham, Samantha Janus, members of the cast of Brookside. His cousin and close freind was a certain Olymipic athelete with the same last name. He had been on holidays that he could never afford on his salary. He frequently ran marathons/went skydiving/ had once swam the English channel. My friend Phil knew someone like that at his work also. What do you think about people who lie to impress their work collegues? I can understand lying to get out of trouble, but this whole fictional boasting thing seems completely pathetic to me. |
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I think it's hilarious when people try to pass of insane stuff like that with a straight face. |
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My old housemate claimed to have designed tiles for NASA rockets (haha in retrospect - well done if he really did), that he'd dj'd to 40,000 people and had designed a camcorder warmer for some army for when they went marching up into the mountains. funny stuff, no-one believed him. |
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I know, I had to keep from bursting into fits of giggles the whole time. Everyone was too polite to actually stand up and call him out on his lies, so we'd all just sit there smirking. |
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There's a crazy, drugged-out meth addict/ alcoholic guy who randomly shows up at my friend's house, and my friend doesn't have the heart to tell him to leave, because he seems desperate for any human interaction. He's probably twice our age and tells us all kinds of fucked up stories, to which we don't know how to respond. He introduced himself as 'Ponce' or I suppose, 'Ponts' because he was 'once inhabited by the spirit of Pontius Pilate'. I replied, "What, did you try to crucify someone then?" and he said "No man! I'm serious. I died and went to hell and met the devil and then Jesus Christ sent me back because my time here wasn't through." Then a bit later he told us that ex-wife owns a whorehouse in New Mexico and that the U.S. government offered him a million dollars to kill her, that his 19 year old daughter owns a trucking company, and that he's met bigfoots on several occasions: "I was boating near Alaska and a Bigfoot jumped into my boat. See the thing is, they only communicate telepathically, so I says to him, "You're the ugliest shaved asshole I've ever seen." And he says back to me, "You're the ugliest shaved asshole I've ever seen. He really said all this and more with a straight face, and got mad when we laughed. I couldn't make this shit up. |
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Thats a funny story.... That guy sounds pretty whacked out. |
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA my favorite part is: so I says to him, "You're the ugliest shaved asshole I've ever seen." And he says back to me, "You're the ugliest shaved asshole I've ever seen. that is fucking brilliant! guy should write these stories down and sell them. |
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This fella wasn't crazy, he obviously knew he was lying. He was just such a pathetic social reject that he really thought we were all impressed. It's quite sad really. The funniest time was when someone jokingly suggested he was gay, and he freaked out and started going on about all these beautiful women he'd shagged. (look at the picture again.) He shouted "I'm straighter than any of you!" |
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This guy sounds like the greatest man on earth. You should definitely get some recordings of his rants. |
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Another running lie was that he was quite wealthy because of stocks and shares he'd bought, and he only worked his £14,000 a year job as something to keep him occupied. He tell you this in a hush-hush voice like it was a big secret. except that he did this with everyone in the office. |
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some people have nothing to go on so they create things to make them interesting its lame and stupid...but sad more than anything |
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I admit my life is boring. "My name is James. I am a 22 year old office drone, who likes music you've never heard of and hasn't had a girlfriend for over a year." Doesn't get me too many chicks. |
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well i wouldnt exactly type-cast yourself so quick sure you have a day job, who doesnt, doesnt mean your not interesting - musica taste, exactly, interesting - girlfriends, who cares, until you find one that fits live your life, theres more to it i hope getting chicks is easy when you stop caring !!! everyones life can look lame on paper - but i wouldnt go around telling people i can pole vault over the moon just to get some pussy...thats lame |
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I told this girl I wanted to fuck once that I liked the Manic Street Preachers. (I think they're hella gay.) I got some toncil-hockey but no sex. I remember thinking "Ha, ha! you think I like you for your personality." |
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wicked i tell girls shit all the time - most girls have REALLY bad musical taste, or are cunts - lose lose situation do what you gotta do to get in ! |
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I tell people I was born without skin, because it's TRUE god damn it. I'd have the pictures to prove it but an autistic savant came around and drooled on them...the autistic savant was me in one of my 600 other personalities, two of which have been on the price is right. |
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This crazy old tramp on the train once told me and my friends he was a secret agent for some sort of government group and that he had been double-crossed by them, so they put this camera thing in his brain. This allowed the government to monitor whatever he was looking at so they could spy on him all the time. He claimed to be invincible and that he was going to Downing Street to kill the government. Apparently Tony Blair would telepathically enter his brain and laugh at him. He told us this and lots of crazy stuff about mind control and astral projection. When we got off at the station he didn't have a ticket and started shouting at the guards who stopped him and wouldn't let him past. In the end they let him just go through. So maybe he really did have Jedi mind control powers! |
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there is a word for these people or two words actually "fucking nuts" or "crack-heads" |
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lol |
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thats one thing rural living has over urban living not nearly as many fucking crackheads who want to tell me some story i a) dont give a fuck about or b) REALLY dont give a fuck about i wish for one day people would let me go about my business and leave me alone no such luck when living in a big city, esp. such a dirty one |
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I love hearing crazy peoples stories. My mate's brother worked as a nurse in a mental hospital and told us about somone who claimed that Arnold Scwartzenegger was his real dad and was coming to take him away to help defend the earth from an alien attack. |
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what city? |
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maybe he wasn't lying |
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philth-a-delphia its the dirtiest city ive ever seen, well next to new orleans at 515am - wicked dirty |
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yea phili is filthy. i live in minneapolis. it's a clean city |
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so ive heard minne-snow-ta i hope we get destroyed with snow this winter ! |
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a black kid in my high school english class you to say this all the time: "minnesota, more like minnesnowda it just gets colda" it'll be stuck in my head foreva. |
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you = used |
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thats fresher than hell in maine we have a saying "if you cant take winter...you dont deserve summer" now THAT'S keeping it real ! |
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holy shit that's the most ghetto old scool fly ass dope swampiest dankest squared line i've ever heard in my god damned life. main that place is cool right? |
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This thread was an awesone read. I've met some hardcore story tellers sometimes. I was at a bar that a vietnam vet was at. He came over and started talking to us because he thought we were high. We actually were but joked we wish we had some pot. He eventually admitted that he was on shrooms. We were entertained for the next two hours with stories about his life age 19 to current. He does alot of drugs and i mean alot. |
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yeah well see story tellers are a whole shit storm ways away from crackheads - crackheads are annoying, dont get the hint after youve spoken to them for a few minutes, want things from you, could potentially hold you up (and get their asses dealt with accordingly) story tellers are great - i get drunk all weekend and tell stories but i aint no crackhead :-0 |
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maine is REAL cool...both personality and climate wise i miss it - but it gets small very quickly...for such a large state |
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There's a bloke at my work like that. Always "giving it the big 'un". What's worrying is how many people are taken in by it. Only me and a handful of colleagues actually see through it and rip the piss. His favourite story (and there are various flavours of it I've heard many times) involve him riding his motorcycle, exceptionally skillfully, at very high speed, on public roads. I have on several occassions offered to race him, but he has yet to take me up on the offer. |
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I live in Maine, woooo, "yay Maine" it has lots of gift shops for "Maine" goods, which are usually items containing the word "Maine" and either a picture of a moose or a lobster. Speaking of lobster, I saw a live lobster living its' life on the beach in a little nook this summer. It was a strange sight; lobsters are weird. Also, while being a life-long Maine resident I have never had lobster, which is surprising to many people. |
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i had a 'mate' at primary school who said he had every action man there ever was. of course he kept them in his attic, so we never got to see them. over the years the attic also became home to a mega drive (which was sold) and a scorpion (which died) |
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also i just remembered he knicked my gogos and when i saw them on his shelf in his room he said 'he found them' what a bastard. |
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omg, that made me remember stealing a friends toy when we were young! hope he didnt miss it. lying people are funny. in primary school i had a friend who always lied to be cool, so me n my other friend made up a show called 'winners n losers' (some crazy game show), and every thursday wed ask if he saw and hes say yeah : D as for crazy people, once an armless guy started yelling at me n me friends for no reason shouting crap like 'you think its funny?! if someone gets loses their friend and loses their arm'. hard to remember what he said cos it really was all over the place |
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Take hard look at yourself. Step away. Look into a mirror. learn to spell "friends" and "Olympic" before you start criticising work colleagues /wankers. You probably are a right tool for all I know. Admit you have a lot to learn, even if you are a dad already. Make a commitment to yourself that you "will not fuck your kids up like you parents did".AHHH HUMM, Reality check. Table frick'in zero please. join humanity. you moron. |
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I had this dude at my old job who used to lie out his ass. He said he had 8point-something million dollars in GE stock, his own garage where he worked on cars, an American Idol finalist who turned down the contract, a general contractor, plus a ton of other shit i can't remember. He thinks he can get away with all these lies because he tells different lies to different people but wasn't smart enough to figure out that people talk behind his back. Anyways. |
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Yes, I have my faults but they're nowhere near as funny as a big fat, lying social retard's. And as for the typos, woo givs a fuk? Also, I'm 22 and don't have any kids, maybe you got me mixed up with someone else. |
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We have them, in small doses they'rre ok, telling the lies itself doesn't botherr me, but when I'm not in the mood it's just a borre. |
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The saddest part is that they are normally only lying to try to fit in socially with people who in most cases are complete pricks who wouldn't deserve their friendship anyway. If you meet someone who is going over the top to try to impress you it normally means that you are making them feel they have to. Maybe with maturity you will learn to be able to make people feel at comfort with you instead of being a judgemental prick. |
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some people arre just liarrs though because they just enjoy it. my old frriend Ben used to lie, therre was no rhyme orr rreason to it. |
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Or maybe you just couldn't see the reason for it. Nobody lies for no reason at all...there is always a reason for it, whether good or bad. |
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guess not. to be morre interresting is all i can think of, but i neverr gave him any rreason to have to imprress me. maybe it's just that i was so damn borring he felt he had to talk about something... ANYTHING |
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i once told this guy i couldnt crawl as a kid and went straight to walking later on, i fell over or something when trying to crawl and i still couldnt do it. he believed me though |
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I used to say i'd burrnt my face in volcano when i was verry small. |
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at weekends i go whale fishing naked |
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cool! did that really happen? |
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