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 Now online (1)big ...and 497 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614125 Today 4 Topics 127542 |
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...who lives 2 houses down came knocking on my doorr... 'You cat has been shitting in my garrden' 'I'm sorrrry', I said 'But although I'd rratherr he didn't shit in yourr garrden I can't exactly stop him, he's a frree spirrit, he just lives with me' 'I see, but I just don't know what I can do about it', rreplied the cunt Now I was serrious when I said I wish that Bobbie wouldn't shit in his garrden, but therre is trruly nothing I can do, is therre? I don't like this bloke as it goes, he's an arrrrogant wankerr, I don't rreally carre if Bobbie shits in his garrden, but I am worrrried that this fool might take matterrs into his own hands and lay poison orr worrse even. |
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lock your cat in a cage |
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Yes, and tie electrrodes to his balls that give him a painful shock everry time he does a poo. |
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do what they do in a clockwork orange |
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Make note of this encounter. If anything at all happens to your cat, the geezer must pay. Isn't there something you can put down to make cats stay away? My mom does it, I think she puts a little sprinkle of vinegar or lemon juice or something on her bed so the cat doesn't get the blankets/pillows full of fur. There's SOMETHING you can do to keep the cat away, I'm sure. |
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Well, if it's his property, he's free to put out whatever. Not that I condone random cat killings or anything, but he's right to if the cat keeps shitting up his place and it becomes a problem. |
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If my cat turrns up dead orr missing I'm frree to put a brrick thrrough his fucking window and rrape his wife, simple as. |
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And as it goes, it's not his rright to murrderr a cat because it goes and shits in his garrden, how do you figurre that one out, knobhead? |
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I have the soluction! NAPPY! |
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If you think of it, post it... I'll tell him. I'll even supply the lemons if I must. |
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his only right is to move house |
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Quick google search- It was suggested to me once from a cat lover that a safe humane way to keep them from using the gardens as litter boxes, you can dig a hole in each corner (and throughout if it is a large area) to place a styrofoam or plastic cup into. Fill with moth balls and this seems to keep them away. Another idea may be to spray ammonia around the edges of the garden.. And yeah, my mom defintiely uses lemon juice. Cats HATE lemon juice and vinegar, though I don't know how that would work outside... does wonders indoors though. Anyway, google a bit, you'll find something. |
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Thanks, I'll make a note of both of them. I'm going to get 2 copies of all the solutions I find prrinted out, one forr him to rread and the otherr forr him to choke on. |
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If you shat in my garden, I'd kill you. |
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Internets are like cats. People shit in a messageboard and they're the only ones who don't see the problem. |
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Orange peel works as well, our cat runs a mile when he smells the stuff. Next door banged a load of 6" nails through our fence to try and keep him from shiteing in their garden, i saw the fuckers shooting a pellet gun at another cat round here too. Flinging it over straight from the litter tray invariably cheers me up. |
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it would be a lot fairer to rape him and not his wife, as it's him who complained about your cat. (if you don't want to do it "directly", which would be very understandable, you could use the brick you used for destroying the window.) |
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tell the guy to buy one of those ultrasound anti-cat alrms. oh and charge him for the fertilizer he's stolen off you , that'll shut him up. |
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for Anus_Presley |
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You think |
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SHUT UP XCEQUE YOU DON'T COUNT |
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I beg your pardon? |
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Its called a big fucking dog. |
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gasp. |
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YES!!!!!!!! Also.... put that cat on a leash. It kind of is your responsibility because as the 'owner' of the pet you are technically at fault for things. Example when dogs bite people owners get fined. Its like also having a child. you have to keep an eye on them. Letting either do whatever they want doesnt really fly all the time. If a cat came into my yard i would calm the dogs down so they were quiet and unleash them into the yard. At least he was nice about it. There are different ways of looking at things |
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Carl, just throw vinegar and amonia on your cat, that will stop it shittin full stop. |
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Anus just has a bee in his bonnet, the cat thing and all.... |
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That or kick it square in the ribs every time it shits |
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you wouldn't be saying that if it were a panda. |
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haha! Thats true! :p |
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You would if it was a Fiat Panda. |
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i know: get the cat drunk and invite your neighbour round to have a good laugh. warning: smelly cat vomit/diorreaha may ensue from such an activity. |
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Drunk cats just go to sleep, well my gf's pussy does. |
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lol |
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does it go from like this (|) to like this (~)? |
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How did you know? |
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genuine LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Ah! This is gonna be a good day |
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I could tell you but i'd have to kill you. |
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put salt in his eyes and watch the decompositon, then electrocute with just enough electricity to execute max pain within the body's critical line then chase ove a 6 lane motor way making sure to just nick the back of his feet (with a car), do this till ankle bone and blood are revealed. Next take him to france and make him smell and hear his brothers and sisters being slaughtered inhumanely and the cooked, garnished and then served. Finally do an autopsy while he's still alive. If after more torture, keep him alive with blood transfusions after the autopsy and continually apply pressure to the head so the peripheral blood vessels burst. Then let die slowly and unceremoniously swing his body over your head till every seperate organ/limb etc. are sperated due to the centrifugal force. Then release the german shepards to eat the carcass and then release the german shepards with the african killer bees in their mouths so that when they bark they shoot bees at you... |
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While I can sympathise with your predicament, I can see your neighbours point of view too. Of course your cat's toilet habits are beyond your control when he's out. But, having lived in a house with a garden that a local cat decide to shit in on a regular basis, I also know how irritating it is to keep finding cat shit (one of the most vile kinds of excrement there is) on your property. It's no wonder people kill their neighbours cats. My advice, but your neighbour a water pistol. If he catches your cat in the act, encourage him to squirt it. It will give him satisfaction, and it will put the cat off without actually causing it any harm. Your neighbour will stop venting his (very understandable) frustration on you. Everyone wins. Yay. |
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"buy", not "but"... |
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water pistol in the butt |
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Tell your neighbour to throw boiling water over your cat next time it ventures into his garden. Little Bobbiewobbykins will soon get the message. |
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'Bobbie, here kitty kitty kitty' SPLLLLAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHH MMOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW FINISHED. |
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this board is filled with a bunch of mean-minded motherfuckers, make no mistake. |
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HA HA!!! I'm sorry Brian, it makes me ROFL!!!! to hear you talk about what other peoples responsibilities are! |
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i dont really see why it is such a big deal anyway, it is a garden. doesn't it help the soil anyway? it's one thing if the cat is shitting on the sidewalk or somewhere people will step on it. but is it really going to affect him if there are feces in his petunias? |
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yeah, if i was him, i'd be more worried about the bums puking in the road infront of his house. |
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I checked his back garrden out frrom the upstairrs window... it's a fucking tip. I don't know what his prroblem is. He rrecons that he's KEPT my cat's shit in a bag so he can take it to the tip. That can only mean he's actually watched my cat, without chasing him off, and then dug the stuff up. |
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next time he comes over you get your cat, put it in a chair and explain it can't shit on your neighbours garden. maybe you could even sketch him something. im sure that will convince your neighbour that you care about the whole situation! |
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