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GOLFER --------- Weapon: golf clubs Special powers: vampire powers Familiar: robot ostrich Other features: neatly combed hair, golf cart RABBI -------- Weapon: uzi Special powers: flying Familiar: santa pirate Other features: hippy beard, wealthy congregation WHO WILL WIN |
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definately the rabbi |
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im not even jewish, but I have to admit that a rabbi with an uzi is a lot more badass than a golfer with... golf clubs. |
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the rabbi has an unfair advantage |
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I'd like to remind you all that the golfer has "vampire powers". |
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well in terms of familiars, the golfer has the rabbi beat... the only thing a santa pirate is good for is passing out gifts and drinking grog... now a robot ostrich on the other hand can dispense some serious asskicking. |
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Yes i was just about to point that out. Unless the Rabbi has some experience dealing with vampires, the Golfer has the advantage. |
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obviously the rabbi has experience with dealing with vampires |
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sometimes you gentiles know nothing |
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i wouldn't be so quick to underestimate the santa pirate. he does more than gift and drink. he also knows how to totally kick ass, as any good pirate would. he can handle a sword, to be sure. plus, he's tougher than normal santa by a longshot, and he sometimes steals back the gifts he gives. hardcore ally in any situation. but still, the golfer has vampire powers - that's really tough to beat. especially since rabbis don't believe in christ - they can't use the cross to their advantage. i guess what it comes down to is the setting. are they fighting on a golf course or in a temple? is it day or night? if the golfpire is succeptible to daylight, that's one thing against him. the rabbi might be able to hold his own until dawn. |
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The santa pirate has a spanish galleon with a huge Christmas tree instead of a mast and sails. The golfer's robot ostrich has laser eyeballs and can run 300 miles an hour for a full month before getting bored. The golfer can stick Nintendo cartridges in it with instructions for how to kick-box or forensically analyze a crime scene. |
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man, at first I thought this fight was one-sided, but with all the evidence presented here I think we can be sure this will be a GOOD MATCH! |
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anyone want to place bets on either fighter? |
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I s this a fight to the death or a couple of rounds? If it's either of those I can't be arsed. |
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what duration of fight would you prefer? |
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This will be a traditional caged death-match. The winner will have the option of eating the loser - which, if the rabbi wins, will be okay because the golfer has been killed by a rabbi and is therefore kosher. |
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The "cage" in this case is an imaginary boundary drawn around a large section of seafront property, allowing Santa to get the full use of his galleon. |
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I thought this was going to be a new Fleetmouse track called Golfer vs. Rabbi. But no, the board is very deceptive this evening, yes. |
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i think that santa pirate is wily and hearty enough to take the Robostrich. even with the nintendo kick-boxing advantage, santa pirate could probably pull it off. he wouldn't be able to use logic to defeat the Robostrich, but he could use his pirate skills to catch the bird unawares and pull a cheap shot on him. due to the underhandedness of the attack and the flammability of Robostrich's internal circuitry, my guess is that Robostrich would then explode, implode, or disintigrate pretty quickly. then there would be an afterparty, probably involving some sort of rum and eggnog beverage. |
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not to mention, robostriches hate being on ships! they have nowhere to run and it messes with their backwards legs. robostrich would probably try to hide its head in the deck and santa pirate would like explode his neck off with dynamite or something. |
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well if the fight happens at nightime, my money is on the golfer |
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The golfer has glow in the dark golf balls for night time games. They told him his balls weren't regulation and he bit them. |
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I can see that most of you favor the golfer but I am rooting for the underdog: Rabbi! When is the fight to commence? |
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Honestly, those special abilities are kind of unfair. Vampires naturally can fly, so the rabbi is at a dissadvantage, cause he can fly too. But he can't suck blood. I think you should bestow an additional power upon the rabbi to even things up. Like dyslexia, or telekenesis. |
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its a relatively good matchup. Its one hell of a rabbi, and we still dont know the exact conditions of the surrounding area, or how cunning this rabbi is. Plus the santa pirate may have a wildcard in all this. |
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Well, I guess that if he really wanted to he could drink blood. But he couldn't really gain any of his victims special abilities. |
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supposedly one of my great-grandfather was a rabbi. |
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