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 Now online (3)Hyperflake dariusgriffin big ...and 330 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614165 Today 10 Topics 127544 |
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..alright this old guy that hangs up in my uncles car audio shop told me this joke today, it goes: A man is late for work, gets pulled over.. the state trooper says, " sir I caught ya speeding back there as you passed the hill, clocked ya at 75 in a 55, on my radar gun.." the guy says " well I was late for work, officer" the police officer says " oh really, what do you do for a living.." the man replies " Well sir, I stretch anuses, for a living" the officer says " anuses !? " the man says, " yep anuses, sometimes I stretch em to 5 inches sometimes 6 ft, " the officer says son, what in the hell would you do with a 6 foot asshole, the man replies " well id givem a radar gun and set him on top of that hill I just passed. harhar. |
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harhar sums it up. |
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Also, yesterday my dirty old grandfather was talking to my and my cousins and said, hey boys.. you know how to tell if a girl has had a good time with ya, and we said how grandpa, he said well jerk her panties off and throw em against the wall and if they stick, you know they've had a good time, once again har har |
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hahah, that was better than the first. I can imagine a dirty old grandpa throwing girls panties against the wall. Preferably his granddaughers panties after a family reunion. |
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i like raintube a lot does the same thing apply w/pancakes, if you throw them against the ceiling or something, no that just means bad pancakes |
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NO ! |
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haha, i like recycle more |
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Whats brown and Sticky? A stick. |
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the police are such idiots. stick it to THE MAN! |
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I see you're familiar with the new definition of the word 'good'. |
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It's the story of a man who couldn't help eating his own arms. So one day he was eating one of his arms and this guy arrives and he asks him: "Hey, why are you eating your own arm? -I CAN'T HELP IT!". |
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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver owned the car. Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it. Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body. Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too |
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