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 Now online (1)Tony Danza ...and 440 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614153 Today 5 Topics 127544 |
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two cows are in a pasture cow 1: are you worried about mad cow disease cow 2: why should i be? i'm autechre! |
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who's there? |
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Lol? |
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AUTECHRE IS NOT AFRAID OF MAD COW DISEASE |
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No. Lol denied. |
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A piece of strings walks into a pub and asks for a pint of beer. The barman says: "You're a fucking piece of string. I'm not serving a piece of string. Fuck off." The next day, the piece of string once again walks in, and asks for a shot of tequila. The barman is getting wise to this shit, and once again refuses to serve the piece of string. This happens every day for maybe a month or something, i don't know because it's not relevant to the joke. Anyway, the piece of string is getting pretty pissed off, and one day he has an idea. He suddenly decides that before he tries his luck again at the pub, he's going to violently rub his stringy arms, his stringy legs, his stringy torso and even his stringy little sex organs. By the time he walks back into the pub, he looks pretty messed up, random threads coming off his body everywhere and all over the place. He walks in, and asks for another pint. The barman takes a long hard look at him, and says "Aren't you the piece of string that's been coming in here lately?" The piece of string considers this for a while, and says: "I'm afraid not!" |
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Nlol |
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I'M A FRAYED KNOT Yes, that "joke" really did fucking suck. Sorry. |
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ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! i read that an hour ago, and i only just now got it because you wrote it out. i thought the joke was that there was no punchline. |
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that was the longest shit i saw on this board. sorry. |
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I use long posts to make people think i have a large e-penis. Sorry. |
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While we're on the subject of crap jokes.... Monoid is sat at home, feeling particularly alone today... He thinks 'I know what, I'll get a pet to keep me company!'. Monoid flops his penis back into his tracksuit bottoms and heads straight for the petshop.. "Errrrr...erm.. have you got any pets I can download?' asked Monoid, "I've got a catterpillar for sale if you are intrested miss, I mean sir.'. Monoid begrudgingly parts with his pocket money and sprints home straight back to his bedroom with his new best friend. Monoid makes a little home for his pal with an old snickers wrapper and waits.... and waits... Monoid taps on the wrapper gently and whispers 'would you like to go for a drink?' there was no reply....20 minutes pass slowly and Monoid gives the caterpillar another call 'Catty... would you come for a drink with me.....?' Still no answer...'Catty, I was wonderin' i..' "For Fucks sake Monoid, I'm still putting my shoes on!!" |
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Heh. Crap Jokes Is Best. |
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