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F N O R D
 

offline plaster from splitska 10 on 2004-09-21 22:15 [#01341886]
Points: 4173 Status: Regular



``Very nice,'' I said. ``But why did you bring me up
here?''

``It's time for you to see the fnords,'' he replied.

Then I woke up in bed and it was the next morning. I made
breakfast in a pretty nasty mood, wondering if I'd seen the
fnords, whatever the hell they were, in the hours he had
blacked out, or if I would see them as soon as I went out
into the street. I had some pretty gruesome ideas about
them, I must admit. Creatures with three eyes and tentacles,
survivors from Atlantis, who walked among us, invisible due
to some form of mind shield, and did hideous work for the
Illuminati. It was unnerving to contemplate, and I finally
gave in to my fears and peeked out the window, thinking it
might be better to see them from a distance first. Nothing.
Just ordinary sleepy people, heading for their busses and
subways. That calmed me a little, so I set out the toast and
coffee and fetched the New York Times from the hallway. I
turned the radio to WBAI and caught some good Vivaldi, sat
down, grabbed a piece of toast and started skimming the
first page.

Then I saw the fnords.

The feature story involved another of the endless squabbles
between Russia and the U.S. in the UN General Assembly, and
after each direct quote from the Russian delegate I read a
quite distinct ``Fnord!'' The second lead was about a debate
in congress on getting the troops out of costa Rica; every
argument presented by Senator Bacon was followed by another
``Fnord!'' At the bottom of the page was a Times depth-type
study of the growing pollution problem and the increasing
use of gas masks among New Yorkers; the most distressing
chemical facts were interpolated with more ``Fnords.''



 

offline plaster from splitska 10 on 2004-09-21 22:15 [#01341887]
Points: 4173 Status: Regular



Suddenly I saw Hagbard's eyes burning into me and heard his
voice: ``Your heart will remain calm. Your adrenalin gland
will remain calm. Calm, all-over calm. You will not panic.
you will look at the fnord and see the it. You will not
evade it or black it out. you will stay calm and face it.''
And further back, way back: my first-grade teacher writing
FNORD on the blackboard, while a wheel with a spiral design
turned and turned on his desk, turned and turned, and his
voice droned on, IF YOU DON'T SEE THE FNORD IT CAN'T EAT
YOU, DON'T SEE THE FNORD, DON'T SEE THE FNORD . . .

I looked back at the paper and still saw the fnords. This
was one step beyond Pavlov, I realized. The first
conditioned reflex was to experience the panic reaction (the
activation syndrome, it's technically called) whenever
encountering the word ``fnord.'' The second conditioned
reflex was to black out what happened, including the word
itself, and just to feel a general low-grade emergency
without knowing why. And the third step, of course, was to
attribute this anxiety to the news stories, which were bad
enough in themselves anyway. Of course, the essence of
control is fear. The fnords produced a whole population
walking around in chronic low-grade emergency, tormented by
ulcers, dizzy spells, nightmares, heart palpitations and all
the other symptoms of too much adrenalin. All my left-wing
arrogance and contempt for my countrymen melted, and I felt
a genuine pity. No wonder the poor bastards believe anything
they're told, walk through pollution and overcrowding
without complaining, watch their son hauled off to endless
wars and butchered, never protest, never fight back, never
show much happiness or eroticism or curiosity or normal
human emotion, live with perpetual tunnel vision, walk past
a slum without seeing either the human misery it contains or
the potential threat it poses to their security . . .



 

offline plaster from splitska 10 on 2004-09-21 22:16 [#01341888]
Points: 4173 Status: Regular



Then I got a hunch, and turned quickly to the
advertisements. it was as I expected: no fnords. That was
part of the gimmick, too: only in consumption, endless
consumption, could they escape the amorphous threat of the
invisible fnords. I kept thinking about it on my way to the
office. If I pointed out a fnord to somebody who hadn't been
deconditioned, as Hagbard deconditioned me, what would he or
she say? They'd probably read the word before or after it.
``No this word,'' I'd say. And they would again read an
adjacent word. But would their panic level rise as the
threat came closer to consciousness? I preferred not to try
the experiment; it might have ended with a psychotic fugue
in the subject. The conditioning, after all, went back to
grade school. No wonder we all hate those teachers so much:
we have a dim, masked memory of what they've done to us in
converting us into good and faithful servants for the
Illuminati.


 

offline KainiIndustries from over the roof floats billy on 2004-09-21 22:23 [#01341890]
Points: 1253 Status: Regular



fway nto oquote rillumi
natus! dyou !go! fway


 

offline ifkardo from 785.8 mb of radio babylon (Equatorial Guinea) on 2004-09-21 23:05 [#01341906]
Points: 1135 Status: Lurker



magic window fnord.


 

offline Taxidermist from Black Grass on 2004-09-21 23:20 [#01341909]
Points: 9958 Status: Lurker



So were quoting the illuminatus trillogy now?

I've been away for a while. Is this what it has come to?


 

offline plaster from splitska 10 on 2004-09-22 00:51 [#01341946]
Points: 4173 Status: Regular | Followup to Taxidermist: #01341909



maybe i should have to reinterpret the trillogy in my own
words?


 


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