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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-05 07:14 [#01266710]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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.... well i'm back in work but seriously fucking jet-lagged so don't feel like saying much at all except: WOWSERS TROUSERS.
i hope to have some funky snaps online by weeks end.
i'm wrecked!
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2004-07-05 07:25 [#01266714]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular
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sweet. did you cut peoples heads off and flip out hard in general?
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-05 07:30 [#01266715]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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no decapitations..... but i did get thrown around by my earlobe! Training with 60 year-old japanese master teachers is like fighting with a shadow. just wehn you think you've hit the guys, he's locked up youyr entire body with his little finger. mad!
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cie jiks mawp
from motion to descend (Australia) on 2004-07-05 07:40 [#01266725]
Points: 1171 Status: Lurker
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this cool very.
*everyone* remember: fear is the path to the darkside. fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to . . . suffering.
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Dannn_
from United Kingdom on 2004-07-05 07:46 [#01266733]
Points: 7877 Status: Lurker
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I didn't know Japan was a hallucinogenic. Do you smoke it?
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scheme88
from Tokyo (Japan) on 2004-07-05 07:48 [#01266736]
Points: 801 Status: Lurker
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welcome home keyfumbler
btw, is your avatar a ko-gal? :)
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-05 07:56 [#01266751]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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no... just a school girl on a train. i do have some snaps of ko-girls though. They're strange women eh? Fashion victims with fake orange tan and too much eye makeup!
scheme88.... your country is absolutely amazing. you should be proud... clean, polite, efficient, quiet, colourful, safe, tasety, healthy etc etc. Well done!
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2004-07-05 07:57 [#01266754]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01266751
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tell me stories! Are you glad to be back or do you miss japan already?
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-05 08:26 [#01266775]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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story 1:
i was in a little traditional bar, sitting at low tables, with 2 mates being served sake and yakitori (skewerd meat & veg)by the mama-san. In the same room were 2 working guys, chilling out after their long days graft. We ended up buying each other dirnks and passing around a phrase book so we could shoot the breeze in a drunken fashion. At one point, my married mate says to them, "my pals here love japanese women and are looking for wives". We indicated it was true, for the craic and next thing you know the lads have their sisters on the phone and are willing to get us out partying!
We sort of avoided the whole issue after a while as we didn't want to cause shitstorm in this small town where we were training and got on with our food. 20 mins later, a drop-dead gorgeous girl walks in... its one of the sisters. She spoke great english and was saying how we should meet the next night for some drinks and stuff. We drunkenly agreed to all this and had a good laugh with them but .. when the next night came, we were too fucked from training and especially the baths afterwards to go out and meet them again. We felt bad and were curious at how we'd get on but it had been a long day and in the end, i doubt anything would have seriously happened. Still it was a nuts night all the same and she was a honey!
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2004-07-05 08:28 [#01266777]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01266775
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gotto love thoose japanese ladies! damn... you make me wanna goooooooooo now!
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-05 08:32 [#01266780]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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Key_Secret:
its the coolest place ever! you hardly even need japanese to get around or eat out, although obviously it helps.
its so nice going out and about and people really trying to help you out. we had so many occasions of people just coming up and asking were we lost. When the girls would shyly giggle into their hands, you just melted...
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2004-07-05 08:42 [#01266783]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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haha, very convenient to have sisters. you took many pictures i hope? :)
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-05 08:50 [#01266792]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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i took rather a lot of shcool girls snaps and feel very pervy cos of it..... they all looked 19 to me!
the whole music thing was a disaster though. i basically didn't have the time to go hunting donw the decent record stores. I should have just grabbed some random j-pop crap at HMV to bring home but ended up spending the last of my cash on swords and shit.
my only encounter with Japanese music was the amazing poppy breakbeat stuff i heard at a toyshop. i'll pay more attention next time........
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2004-07-05 08:56 [#01266796]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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coz, um, 19 is ok? :)
shame about the music though...i bet it would be great to attend some gig, those japs know how to have fun apperantly...
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2004-07-05 08:59 [#01266797]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01266792
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you are obliged to post those here!
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VLetr
from London (United Kingdom) on 2004-07-05 09:50 [#01266857]
Points: 793 Status: Regular
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this sounds awesome. more stories. more! make some shit up if you don't have any others, i want:
(a) schoolgirls, (b) giggling into hands, and (c) swords.
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scheme88
from Tokyo (Japan) on 2004-07-05 10:18 [#01266870]
Points: 801 Status: Lurker | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01266751
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thanks man :) i wanna eat yakitori after a long time....
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-05 10:39 [#01266885]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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story 2:
i was in this amazing japanese bathhouse, an "onsen", that was on the 6th. 7th and 8th floor of shopping center with a rollercoaster on the roof. Anyhoo, apparently natural hot springwater is pumped from below this building into the baths, which were seperated by gender ("awww").
This place was super-slick... loads of stone and wood fittings and plants everywhere. We we given braclets with sensors which gave us access to billable areas and lockers and shit. When you entered you were given fresh towels, a kimono and jammies. The first thing you did after you stored your clothes away was spend about 30 minutes scrubbing every single inch of your bod. You sat in a cubicle which had a shower head, shampoo, soaps, razors, oitments, tweesers and everything. We saw guys washing themselves completely about 4 times... this was all before you even enter the baths themselves.
Just before you entered you could have a steam shower that was like kind of futuristic teleporter that sprayed lovely steam form your legs to your head and back down again. The only thing missong was a laser beam and perhaps a rotating platform. This got rid of any excess soap you may have missed. You took your 10 inch square towel and went into the main bathing area.
Fuck me it was the bathing equivalent of Willy Wonkas Chocolate factory. Plunge pools here, seaweed baths there. Saunas of various intensity, hot springs you could biol an egg in and jacuzzis that practically made love to you ("steady on old bean!")
After a while of floatting my cares away in a vapour-filled hothouse of mistiness, i noticed the room with the massage tables and the girls sitting sitting around swinging theri legs. I noticed guys were going in and out naked and unashamed so i thought i'd follow suit. One of these little angels had a bit of english and managed to tell be mssages started in 15 minutes and it was 5000 yen for half an hour. I promised her i'd be back went to lounge in the salt-water tub for a while.
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2004-07-05 10:43 [#01266891]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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so basically you need a manual to take a bath? nice story though...what was the massage like? :-)
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-05 10:48 [#01266898]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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The girls were fully clothed but not afraid to look down at your strange western ginger-pubed nether region and smile as if they just noticed a rather interesting tatto or something. i though "get me face down on that massage table quick" before things got a little eh, awkward... and luckily enough she instructed me to laydown. The next half hour was pure pleasure as she kneeded and squeezed most of my body into a soft pulp mass of relaxation. All my arousal was dispersed euqally over my body and i floated out of there to sink into a not spring batch before leaving. Leaving required anoither suite of showers and a lst 20 minutes and what looked like a massive line of filmstar mirrors with hairdryers, cotton buds, aftershaves, talcs, lotions and oils. I was well and truly pampered beyond measure and me and me mates rode the train home cleaner than we have ever been.
Japan... they know how to bathe!!
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2004-07-05 10:51 [#01266902]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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hahaha, man, you should publish a book!
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KainiIndustries
from over the roof floats billy on 2004-07-05 11:51 [#01266933]
Points: 1253 Status: Regular
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Goddammit, you lucky, lucky bastard. Sounds utterly fantastic.
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2004-07-05 13:42 [#01266995]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular
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what I've thought about lately is, yeah Japan = awesome... but maybe it's other countries that actually suck?
I mean there must be people living in Japan and waiting for "good times" to happen.
Maybe Japan is just average, and all other places suck. Well average is good enough for me anyway :) so I have to go there!
more stories, KEYbuddy.
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2004-07-05 13:46 [#01267000]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular | Followup to Key_Secret: #01266995
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its all relative...
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-06 05:11 [#01267592]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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here's an odd story:
On the flight on the way home i found myself sitting beside this hot french chick. I was pretty tired after spending half the day getting trains to the airport. By the way, if you're in Japan and need to get to Narita Airport, don't get the "Narita Express". By "espress" they mean it doesn't stop at all 40 stations between Ueno and Narita... just 20 of them!
Anyway, i was too tired to dive right into chatting up Amelie or whatever her name was, at the start of an 11 hour flight so i just watched a movie - "Shaun of the dead".. classic.
So this Norwegian dude on the other side of her, starts "so what were you doing in japan", and "its a great country" and shit. She was a quite sort of thing, which turns out to have suited my viking friend for he proceeded to explain to her his passion for hydrogen fuel cell technology and how amazing the conference in Tokyo was. "They're so efficient" he said. "Water's the only by-product" he enthused. "Of course the infrastructure isn't available yet" he added disappointedly.
I smirked to myself at my Norse nemisis and vowed to wow le chic with my witty irish charm. - sometime after the movie finished and when a suitable casual moment arrived. The movie ended and the meal came so there was mutual eating and silence for a while, soon after sleepiness got the better of me and i dozed off.
When i awoke, i saw that the clever lassie had managed to whip her British Airways blindfold on and was apparently fast asleep facing well away from mr. Thor and i noticed what a delightfull heaving bosom she had pointed in my direction. This flight was working out p r e t ty well.
Then it all went the shape of a pear. My nordic pal leaned over hot-lips aqnd started to shite on to me about his engineering adventures. What can you do with somebosdy who insists on waffling like that? As he was talking, i had to look at him which was freaky cos the girl was rightthere .. "asleep". He then took out his laptop and showed me photos
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pOgO
from behind your belly button fluff on 2004-07-06 05:18 [#01267612]
Points: 12687 Status: Lurker | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01267592
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That's what you get when you hesitate !
You should have gone straight for the kill !
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2004-07-06 05:19 [#01267617]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01267592
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... still waiting for the end of that story? or was that the end there? "...photos" doesn't seem like an ending to me.
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2004-07-06 05:19 [#01267618]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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hahaha...why didn't you start explainig him about xltronic :)
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2004-07-06 05:20 [#01267620]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to Key_Secret: #01267617
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i think he got cut-off there :)
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2004-07-06 05:20 [#01267623]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to tolstoyed: #01267620
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yeah...
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-06 05:22 [#01267627]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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of engines and cars and shit. There were graphs too for fuck sake! I'm sorry if i find it hard to tell somebody i'm completely uninterested in their life.. i just can't do it! Eventually he stopped and shut his powerbook off and asked me what i was up to in japan. At this stage i should have just lied but with jet-lag, nausea and all, i couldn;t think straight and told him i was doing some martial arts stuff. WRONG! He then told me all about his kickboxing facination and i nearly cried. This guy looked about 40 years old and had this really sad, pathetic personality. The way he talked so passionately it was like it made his fucking day to finally be listened to. I have visions of this guy purposefully taking international flights to the four corners of the globe just so he can bore people on planes.
The worst part was to come. He proceeded to tell me why he took up kickboxing. A few years ago he aquired for himself a small little puppy. One day when he brought it out for a walk, everyone admired it and thought it was cute. Kids would come up and pet it and old grannys would smile. He said a young guy stopped to pet the dog..... and ended up suddenly prising its jaw aprt, killing the thing with shock! This guy was telling me this with tears in his eyes saying how he was traumatised for months and how he took up kickboxing to protect himself from such evil again.... and he had nver told anyione this. I was a bit stunned and weirded completely out and fucked off down the back of the plane for a walk and some sort of escape. FREAKY!!!!
I didn't talk to him again and the french chick didn't take her blidnfold off till we landed. I said "hi".
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2004-07-06 05:22 [#01267629]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular
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He then took out his laptop and showed me photos
hahaha thats really the climax of the story
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2004-07-06 05:24 [#01267630]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01267627
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i bet she was awake all of the time, but pretended to be asleep just to .. protect herself.
yeah.
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2004-07-06 05:25 [#01267631]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator | Followup to JAroen: #01267630
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heh, just what i wanted to say...
anyway, another fun story...i'll put this thread in my favs, it's brilliant :)
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2004-07-06 05:28 [#01267640]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular
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yeah this is a good thread. sorry about the plane-boredom. But it must have been special, this guy telling -you- this, he'd never told anyone else. Sorry about his dog.
More stories (and photos :) please!
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-06 07:14 [#01267758]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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One of the main students of the grandmaster i was training under is a guy who gets the most punishment off sensei. If there's a particularly nasty arm lock or muscle strike or something that is being shown, well this guy, lets call him Toshiro for the craic, will have it done to him. He's well used to pain and having himself totally incompacipated. Its not a sadistic thing but a practical learning experience for Toshrio and us watching it. dislocations have occured but sesei is also a bone doctor and our friend always bounce back anyway.
An Ozzy friend of his told us a story at the Dojo about Toshiro.
He works for a crew that install pacinco machines in Tokyo. Now pacinco is sort of like vertical pinball and is found in huge pacinco parlours everywhere. People spend all day in there winning little steel balls that they can exchange for prizes. The Yakuza run these gaming halls at a massive profit. They're not strictly illegal cos you don't win money but everybody knows that behind every pacino parlour is a litttle place you exchnage your prize for cash - everybodys happy.
As a pacinco installer boss, Toshiro deals with the Yakuza a lot and therefore with the cops who dealwith them. One day he was in an unfamiliar part of town, had finished sorting out a big pacinco parlour and got pulled over by the local police.
There had been some trouble with the cops and the local Yakuza and Toshiro was about to get cought up in it. The cops hauled his ass in and proceeded to beat the shit out of him. "Who do you work for" BAM! "What are you doing in this area" TWAK! All he could do was say he knew nothing and take the beating..... which was easy because it was like a tickle compared to an average class with sensei.
So he evntually got let go, stumbled to his car with broken teeth and battered ribs and drove off towards home. except he didn't make it. The local Yakuza had seen him being pulled over and were waiting for him to be let go. They stopped his car and brough him back top their HQ. cont...
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2004-07-06 07:17 [#01267759]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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.. "what did you tell them?" BAM! "What did they ask?" TWAK! All Toshiro could do was take the beating and wait. When he finally got let go from there and went home, he went training that night and showed everybody his bruises and broken bones. Sensei fixed him up and then through him around the dojo like a rag-doll.... "only i can really beat you up, Toshiro" he said.
fucking nuts!
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zaphod
from the metaverse on 2004-07-11 02:29 [#01272972]
Points: 4428 Status: Addict
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i'm there right now. its lush.
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Key_Secret
from Sverige (Sweden) on 2004-07-11 06:08 [#01273053]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to KEYFUMBLER: #01267759
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haha I thought I had already commented on this.. but I really enjoyed reading that story. :)
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tolstoyed
from the ocean on 2004-07-11 06:12 [#01273056]
Points: 50073 Status: Moderator
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this makes all those hollywood action flicks look like true stories.
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Doomed Puppy
from on and off and on and off and on 2004-07-11 06:25 [#01273072]
Points: 1818 Status: Addict
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Awesome story!!!! Like it was from a Takashi Miike film.
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