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 (nobody)...and 302 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614210 Today 14 Topics 127548 |
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This thread could possibly go on for months, if Alex continues posting - because I'm almost certain to reply in kind!:D |
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I love the concept! The most original thread i've seen in awhile! |
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What a jolly spiffing time we're having! Perhaps a little warming port would yet further enhance the mood. Can I interest any of you gents in a snifter? |
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there should be a play made out of this :D |
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I MUST win an award in the next XLT Awards for these two threads! :D *Slips off Daisy the thoroughbreed and sips the port provided by the good DeepSpace9mm (MOST unusual name for a Stable Lad!) |
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What is his name? I do not think I can even pronounce that, what what? |
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I believe he's a foreign chap -- from Siberia, I believe - he comes from a long line of serfs who were freed by their liberal master (a reader of Tolstoy I'm led to believe)... jolly fine fellow, works very hard with the pitchfork! |
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I'll call him "boy" then! |
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Boy! Your wages have been increased to £8.50 per day! Why not bring your sister over from Siberia, and I'll, ah, install her in the master bedroom! |
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Oh hah hah- good call, oh excellent idea hah hah hah! |
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Goodness sir! Thanks to your fine generosity i may even be able to feed my second goat! I am in your eternal debt. My most delectable siblings are yours to do with as you wish. And believe me sir, my family is very open-minded. Now if it pleases sir, i must return to my work upon the east field's drainage. |
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Most excellent news, boy; if everything goes satisfactorily, I may even provide bedding for you that didn't originate from the Cow Shed! *rubs hands together and sucks on his brer pipe excitedly* I say, Alex, how about a spot of champagne before supper? |
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*shouting from the winecellar* I'm sorry, old boy, could you repeat that? |
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*mumbles something about breaking into winecellar and grabbing bottles for personal use* |
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*shouting from the winecellar* Paul! Paul! There seems to be some kind of.. man, grabbing at bottles down here! Is this one of your manservants? |
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*hears a commotion in the winecellar* Is everything to your satisfaction sirs? Sirs? I'll bring my pitchfork sirs, this thief shall not escape my siberian wrath! |
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*shouting from the winecellar* Boy? Is that you? Oh boy, come down here at once! A man is licking the bottles! It's horrible! |
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*pretends to be a statue to confuse alex* |
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I'll be there in a jiffy sir! This beast's insubordination shall not go unpunished, of that he can be sure! My goodness, it seems to be my cousin, the alcoholic fool! Back to your box, you filthy swine. Mother shall hear of your depravity soon enough. *prods virginpusher with pitchfork* Honestly sirs, i cannot apologise enough. |
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is this so pathetic, or i just entered different messageboard ? |
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Mm that's quite alright, boy. *sotto voce* Um, could it perhaps be arranged that your alcoholic cousin visits my room at, shall we say, midnight? Super. |
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*grumbles* Hey! You have blown my cover! Damn that pitchfork is a sharp tool! Damn you!! *quickly grabs bottle and heads up the stairs* |
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That could certainly be arranged, sir. I believe my cousin to be in need of a damned good whipping, and if i may be so bold as to say so, sir, i believe you may be the perfect candidate to administer such a punishment. Now i'm afraid i must return to my duties, drainage cannot rectify itself sir! *doffs cap* |
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This is *takes a drink* complete unheard of *takes a drink* you gents don't *takes a drink* know whathaveyouand *takes a drink* *stumbles out of the door talking about horses* |
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Quiet, you, or there'll be two whippings to administer tonight. There shall be no horses for you my lad, just a cat o' nine tails. Back in your box i say, or you shall soon be praying for death. You bring shame to this fine country abode. |
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ah, english pricks, you probably think its funny |
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*wakes up in the library* What! What! How odd! I went to sup some champagne when I passed out of a sudden! What's this about Siberian cousins? I was expecting sisters, not cousins! This will simply not do! *sips from a glass of champagne and adjusts monocle* Now, let me see, which tome will I retire with tonight... Ah! "The Adventures of the Lusty Maid"! Splendiferous! |
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* drunkenly through town in search of his matching socks! |
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*snores with "The Adventures of the Lusty Maid" open and spread over his face, an empty champagne glass on the floor, and the library fire flickering* |
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*.. in the background, virginpusher slowly approaching, to lick the champagne from Paul's face.. * |
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*splutters awake,hearing a lapping noise retreating into the darkness* Gosh, I must have fallen asleep somehow! What's that noise! I believe I hear the call of my beloved hounds! *Runs outside* The hounds! They have the scent of more XLtronic dullards who must be purged to make this place healthier! fitter! stronger! Onward, Buddhist Soldiers! |
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SADDLE UP TRAFALGAR!! LET'S GET THOSE DULLARDS!! |
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*collapses, exhausted upon the shore* Yegads, I have been floating alone in the Ocean for many months after I fell off my horse and was kidnapped by Greek Potato smugglers, koshed and bound, awaking in a dimly lit warehouse smelling of Tsatziki and Taramasalata. I effected my escape after overpowering a guard using only my tasellated coatsleeve, fled outside to find myself on a darkened and rotten pier, which collapsed. A few months later, I finally washed ashore, and here I am. Where are my servants to warm me and serve me port and a fine cigar? |
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